Valor on the Move (17 page)

Nodding, Chris mounted the curving staircase. Rafa watched him go, concentrating on breathing in and out. As Chris disappeared inside with his detail, Rafa forced his feet to move. At the top of the stairs, he met Shane’s intense gaze.

“Okay?” Shane asked quietly.

Rafa’s heart skipped. God, how he wanted to throw himself into Shane’s arms and block out the rest of the world. Wanted to tell Shane everything, and hear what he thought about it and get his advice. From the corner of his eye, he saw Alan stop and glance back from the door. Rafa jerked his head in a nod, his eyes stinging, and hurried inside.

As Celine led them all in a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday” and his parents beamed, Rafa stood beside his family and smiled while his soul burned.

“What was that?” Alan asked as they made their way around the West Wing to where their G-ride was parked.

“What?” Shane said, as if he didn’t damn well know. Rafa’s face filled his mind—his eyes luminous with
hurt
that Shane wanted to take away. Maybe it was fucked up to want to take care of him, but he did. He wanted to hold Rafa in his arms. He wanted to find out what was wrong so he could make whoever was responsible suffer. He wanted to make Rafa smile again.

Alan cocked an eyebrow. “Asking Valor a personal question. You know we’re not supposed to get involved.”

“I didn’t get
involved
. Obviously he was upset. It was nothing.”

“Look, he’s a nice kid, but you know it’s not the job to get caught up in his drama. You can’t get too close.”

Shane rounded on Alan, who jerked to a stop. “Are you accusing me of something?”

Alan opened and closed his mouth. “Of course not. Jesus. Don’t get bent out of shape.”

As Shane pressed the button to unlock the vehicle with a
beep-beep
, he bit the inside of his cheek. “I asked one question. It won’t happen again.”

Alan sighed. “I’m not trying to bust your balls, man. But you know they’ll yank you off the detail in a heartbeat if they think you’re getting too friendly with the protectee. Since I came back, it feels like there’s a weird tension between you two.”

He was completely right, and all Shane could do was nod. “It won’t be an issue.”

Alan stalked around to the other side and climbed into the Suburban. “Great.”

As they left the White House, Shane gripped the wheel. He blew out a long breath as he pulled up to a red light. “Sorry. I know you’re not trying to be a dick. And you’re right. So thanks for saying it.”

Laughing, Alan shook his head. “Nope, definitely not trying to be a dick, but I guess I succeed despite myself sometimes.”

Shane laughed too, the tension dissipating. “No, I’m the dick here. It won’t happen again. Like I said—not an issue.”

“Clearly the kid was upset about something. I thought he might burst into tears when they were cutting the cake.”

“Yeah.” Shane shrugged, as if he wasn’t dying to know what had happened with Christian to upset Rafa so much. He told himself he just wanted to know if Rafa was okay. It was just normal human kindness and concern. Nothing more.
Because it can never be more. I shouldn’t care. I can’t care.

“I just think…sometimes the way he looks at you? I know he’s got a girlfriend, but I dunno. He wouldn’t be the first protectee with a crush on an agent. Might only be a hero worship thing. I’m just saying you need to be careful. Don’t encourage it.”

Too fucking late for that.
“You’re right. Won’t happen again.”

They drove on silently, Shane eager to get this night over with.

“So, um…” Alan laughed humorlessly, rubbing his face. “Don’t feel that you have to, but I know Jules would really love it if you came tomorrow morning. I figure we can catch a nap before we start work, since we’re on second shift. And if you can’t make it, don’t worry.”

Shit. He’d totally forgotten.
Here I am with my head up my ass when Al’s kid is dying.
“Of course I’ll be there. Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Thanks. I don’t know why they’re even doing this breakfast. It’s the neighborhood group. Not that I don’t appreciate them trying to raise money for Dylan. I do.” He sighed heavily. “It’s just so much if we have any prayer of trying this treatment. Even if it was in the States and not Sweden—the treatment itself is going to be so much money. Too much to ever raise. Unless old Trump wants to chip in. Then we might have a shot.”

“I’ll be there bright and early. I’d love to see Dylan and Jules. It’s been too long.”

“Okay. You’re a good pal.” He tipped his head back and closed his eyes. “Thought that party would never end. Celine just doesn’t know when to stop, does she?”

Shane chuckled. “Her heart will go on.”

“And on, and on, and fucking
on
.”

They laughed, and he gave Alan’s shoulder a quick squeeze. Shane had to remember that there were people with problems much bigger than his inappropriate little attachment to Rafael Castillo. It was time to get over it and put it out of his head for good.
 

The sun peeked out from behind a bank of white clouds, gleaming off the colorful streamers and balloons festooning the large backyard. Shane scanned the clumps of people and headed over to where Alan and Julianna stood talking with guests.

“You remember this troublemaker from Albany,” Alan said to his wife, nodding to Shane.

“Hey, Al. Jules, it’s great to see you.” Shane hugged her briefly and kissed her cheek. She was a tiny thing, barely reaching Alan’s shoulder. Dark circles that makeup couldn’t cover shadowed her eyes.

“Shane. It’s wonderful to see you. I was so glad to hear you and Al were partners again. You’re keeping him out of trouble?” She winked at her husband, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

“More like the other way around.”

The couple Alan and Jules had been talking to introduced themselves as the hosts of the party, and pointed out the breakfast buffet and silent auction items lined up on a table under the shade of an old oak. The woman gave Jules a squeeze before she and her husband circulated with the other guests. Children shrieked and chased each other near the vegetable garden.

Shane tried to pick out Dylan. “Is that Dylan playing the water balloon darts?”

“It is. He’s a lot bigger than the last time you saw him, huh?” Jules smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

The boy was indeed much taller, although he was noticeably gaunt, and his sandy hair was thinning. “He’s looking good. How is he feeling?”

“Much better than last month,” Alan answered. “He’s okay for now. We’re thankful for that. Not sure for how much longer, but I guess there are never guarantees, are there?” As he watched his son, the ache in his gaze made Shane want to comfort him. What could he say?

Jules seemed to read his mind. “It’s okay. We’ve heard all the sympathy and platitudes. It is what it is. We’ll fight it with everything we’ve got. It’s all we can do.”

Shane reached into his pocket. “I brought him an Amazon gift card. I don’t have a clue what kids are into, so I figured he could pick what he wants.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that.” Jules waved him off.

“I’m happy to. And of course I’ll donate.”

Jules opened her mouth and then shut it. She took the card and put it in her pocket. “Thank you. Everyone’s been so generous. Cathy and Bob organized this party, and hit up their friends for silent auction items. It’s so kind.” She blinked rapidly, and Alan rubbed the back of her neck. “Ugh, I’m a mess today. Enough about us. Shane, tell me all about you.”

“Hasn’t Al told you everything already?” Shane smiled.

“Not the important stuff. For example, are you dating? And if you aren’t, why not?” She poked his polo shirt with her index finger.

“Nah. Not really the romance type, it seems.” But heat crept up his neck.

Jules didn’t miss it, of course, narrowing her gaze. “Ohhh, the gentleman doth protest too much. There
is
someone, isn’t there? Come on, I only ever dated this one, so I have to live vicariously. Spill it.”

“Hey, why do you say that like it’s a bad thing?” Alan nudged her playfully with his hip. “We got it right straight out of the gate in high school. We were dating savants.”

“We were indeed. When you joined up instead of going to college, I never thought we’d last.” She smiled up at her husband. “But I guess it was fate. Or stubbornness. Everyone told me I’d make a terrible army wife. Although sometimes I think being a Secret Service wife is worse. Thank goodness you landed a good boy who doesn’t take off for days at a time. Al says he’s a real nice kid. You like him, Shane?” She raised her hands. “Not that you have to like him to protect him. I know, I know. Just curious.”

“I do like him.”
Too damn much.

“Oh, and don’t think you’re off the hook. I still want to know who this mystery man is.” Jules leaned in and murmured, “Is he in the service? Is he here right now?” She gazed around at the guests, some of whom were agents Shane recognized. “Come on, throw me a bone.”

Shane had to chuckle. “He’s not here.”

“A-ha!” Her face lit up. “So he does exist. All right, husband of mine. I expect you to get it out of him on your next shift. Use any methods necessary. The people demand the truth.”

As new guests arrived, Jules left to greet them. Alan shook his head with a smile. “Sorry about that. But gossip is a good distraction. It helps to talk about normal stuff.” He watched Dylan, who ate chocolate-dipped strawberries with a friend. “Even though there’ll never really be a normal again. Not the way it was.” He watched Jules go to Dylan, kissing his forehead and wiping chocolate from his cheek. “I don’t know how she can stand to even look at me. She says she doesn’t blame me. But how can she not? How can she not hate me?”

Shane frowned. “Al, it’s not your fault. There’s nothing you could have done. Genetics aren’t something we choose.”

Alan’s distant gaze was still on his family, his voice strained and thready. “I’d do anything, you know? To save him. To make this easier for her.”

“Of course you would. They know that. We all know that.” Shane put his hand on Alan’s arm and squeezed.

Blinking, Alan snapped back to attention. “Shit. Sorry. Just letting my brain get away from me.” He smiled and waved to someone. “It’s so fucking weird, you know? We’re worried all the time, but we want him to be happy. We want him to enjoy everything he can. We try to still joke around, and keep things light. But when I laugh, or feel good, I remember Jess, and I think: How could I have laughed just then? How could I feel even a moment’s happiness when my baby’s gone? When my boy’s going next.”

Shane wished to God he knew what to say. More and more people arrived, and they’d surely want to talk to Alan. “Hey, let’s go for a walk around the block. Get away from the party for a few minutes. Regroup.”

Rubbing his face quickly, Alan took a deep breath. “No, it’s okay. I’m okay. I’d better go talk to people.” He slapped Shane’s back. “Thanks for listening. I’m fine. Really.”

“Anytime.” Shane caught Alan’s arm. “I mean it, okay? Anytime.”

He nodded. “Yeah.” He tried to smile. “Hey, is Jules right? You seeing someone?”

“It’s nothing.” Shane waved his hand.

“Hmm. Anyone I know?”

Shane glanced around the backyard, looking anywhere but at Alan. “Nah.”

“If you say so.” Then to someone else, he called, “Good morning,” and squeezed Shane’s arm as he left.

Blowing out a long exhale, Shane went over to chat with other agents and make the highest auction bids he could. He rarely used any of the hefty insurance settlement he’d received after the fire, and he couldn’t think of a better way to spend it.

It was late afternoon by the time Rafa emerged from his room. He’d claimed a migraine when his mother had knocked on his door that morning, and fortunately his family had left him alone. Chris had asked to come in, but he’d gone away when Rafa told him to.

Now Rafa was showered and dressed, his shirt crisp and his oxfords polished. As he reached the stairs, Chris’s wife joined him, wearing a green floral dress that brought out her amber eyes and golden hair perfectly.

“Hi, Rafa. Are you feeling better?” Her pretty face pinched in concern. He didn’t really know Hadley well, but she’d always seemed nice. “Chris was worried.”

Does she know I’m gay too? Probably.
“Uh-huh. Thanks.”

“Oh, good. You look great. All ready for the photo shoot? Your favorite thing, right?”

“Yeah. More in your wheelhouse. Oh, congrats on that new movie.”

Hadley’s teeth gleamed as she smiled. “Thanks, Raf. I’m pretty excited. It’s a more dramatic role than I’ve had. I’ll actually get to act and not just stick out my boobs and wait for the hero to rescue me. And hey, just think—before long you won’t have to deal with
People
Magazine
unless you want to.”

On the second floor of the residence, they joined the rest of the family aside from his father. Adriana and Matthew tapped their phones. Matty’s hair was a too-long mess, and he was ignoring their mother as she nagged.