Vanished (20 page)

              As soon as my thumb leaves the button, I hear Zayn’s voice and…was that laughter in the back-ground?  “Logan,” he says.

More static, then a clear, crisp feminine voice comes through, “We’re here, Logan, we’re okay.”

              I let out a sigh of relief and slump against the wall.
She’s safe
. Collin must sense that Trin’s words have rendered me momentarily useless because he grabs the radio from over my shoulder, “its Collin,” I hear him say, “we can’t get through this damn door at the end of the stairs. It says we need a code.”

__#__

              “What happened?” She asks, touching my forehead.

              I lift my eyes to see Collin kissing Maddie by the table with all the telephones and Zayn rocking Jaz in his arms whispering something in her ear. I notice that Maddie, Zayn and Trin are all covered in a layer of grey soot, “I’m more interested in what happened to you.” I try to wipe the soot off her face but only manage to smear it some more. “We heard explosions, there was smoke.”

              She turns toward Zayn and Jaz.  Zayn breaks away from Jaz and rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah, about that…” he says.

              “Zayn blew up the training room,” Maddie says matter-of-factly, then turns back to kiss Collin some more. 

              I frown. “Training room?”

              “It’s been…interesting,” Trin says.

              “Interesting? People shot at us,” Collin interjects, prying his lips temporarily from Maddie’s and points at me, “Logan almost met his maker.”

              I feel her tense beside me, “He’s an idiot,” I say, shaking my head, “It’s a scratch.”

              “OTrin, so the bullet hit the pavement this far from Logan’s head,” Collin boasts, holding up his fingers, “and Celia literally pulls chucks of pavement out of his head before she sews him up, with no pain medicine, and he
still
acts like it was no big deal.”

              “You found Celia?”

              My head is throbbing and they’re all looking at me. “Can we pow-wow about this later?” I ask, “I’m starving.” 

              She bites her lip and looks away, “Fine. Come on,” she says and we turn to follow her.
Let her be mad
, I think,
as long as she’s alive
.

__#__

              I keep flashing back to leaving Celia’s camp.  I noticed things I hadn’t on the way in.  The faces that looked back at me were scared, young, old, innocent and the ones that weren’t, were hardened and suspicious, their fingers twitching over the triggers of their guns.  This group of rag-tag kids, old-people and the occasional adult male looked up to Celia. I got the impression, they would follow her anywhere.  Maybe even to their deaths if she remained determined to lead them.

              Before we left the camp we told Celia we might have a safe place for them to come.  She refused us.  “I don’t think you understand,” she said “we aren’t going to run away or crawl down in some hole and hide. At least not until we kill them all.” 

All of those people, each one a miracle just for existing now that humanity is an endangered species, are going to die because Celia can’t see past her revenge. Anger wells up in me until an unexpected thought hits me; what if I was in her shoes, what if it had been Trin or Madison or sweet innocent Jaz who was raped and later committed suicide.  A new fear takes root inside me and all of the sudden I realize that I do understand how Celia feels and I can’t blame her for stubbornly clinging to her vengeance.              

              I look around at the concrete walls as we descend and find myself wondering if this place
really
will keep us safe from whatever is coming, or if we should think about leaving the city and finding somewhere else to go.

              Then the thought strikes me that I’m as bad as Celia.  All of those people are going to die and I’m not going to do anything to stop it.  Or am I? There is one way that Celia could have her revenge without sacrificing all those people.  They don’t have to die. I start to feel my pulse accelerate as I realize how dangerous what I’m considering would be.  I couldn’t take the others which would mean lying to them.  Lying to Trin.

              I’m trying to decide if saving human life, especially in this new world where it is so precious, justifies lying to my girlfriend when Zayn touches my shoulder and breaks my silent revelry. “See,” he says, “It’s not that bad.”

              “Not that bad?” I repeat, raising my eyebrows and surveying the Training Level.  The entire right side of the big open training floor is blackened from smoke and the room where the explosions went off isn’t a room anymore, it’s a giant black cavity in the wall.

              “What’s in here,” Collin says, his bottle green eyes full of wonderment and awe, pointing at a door with an image of a bow and arrow on it.

              I see Madison look knowingly at Trin who steps up in front of the door before Collin can open it. “The rest of the tour can wait,” she says, her eyes finding mine, “we have things to discuss first.”

              Madison slinks between Zayn and leads Collin toward the door marked
Level B4 – Living Quarters & Mess Hall
.

On the way by, I take a peek inside the room with the bow and arrow on the door and immediately I understand why they don’t want Collin in there.  He would never come back out again.

              “So you haven’t been through this door yet?” Jasmine confirms, as we reach the door with the red button beside it.

              Trin shakes her head.  Jasmine takes a step back from the rest of us and Trin reaches over and pushes the red button.  The door slides open and we see pitch darkness, then lights start to flicker in the ceiling and through the space in the door we see the biggest room yet. “Wow,” Collin exclaims, going through first without letting go of Maddie’s hand, “this is bad-ass, guys.”

              I step through into the big room last and hear the door slide shut behind me.  Trin is standing next to me looking around and everyone else is starting to explore.  To my right there are four hallways leading somewhere I can’t see.  To my left sit three cafeteria-style, long, metal tables and past those there’s a recreation looking area with some couches, chairs, and a pool table. At the far end of the room, on the other side of the tables, there’s a door labeled
Kitchen
. Next to it are two other doors for
Dry Storage
and
Cold Storage
.  Curiosity about what is down the four hallways on my right drives me that way first and I notice Trin trailing along silently behind me.

              We reach the first hallway which has five doors, three on the right, and two on the left. Trin pushes the first door on the right open and we step inside.  The room is small and contains two beds, each with their own side-table and lamp, a desk and a chair against the wall, an empty trash can and two small dressers.  Sliding doors on the other wall open to reveal a small closet, two yellowing hampers, and an ironing board.  Sitting up on the shelf is an iron straight out of a 1955 sears catalogue. 

              “Logan,” Trin says, facing the closet, her voice low and sad.

              I lean against the wall and cross my arms over my chest, “Yeah.”

              “Tell me everything you know,” she says and I hear in her voice what I feel in my heart; an unstoppable, unwavering, passionate drive to know the truth. 

Chapter Eighteen

Trin

              He tells me about the people shooting at them, how he held a gun to Celia’s dad’s head to get information, about finding Celia and her story. I cringe when he tells me about the men attacking Celia’s mother and a swell of pity flushes over me when he talks about the suicides. I can’t help wondering if I was in Celia’s shoes would revenge take priority over survival? Would I be willing to sacrifice my friends and neighbors, people I’d known for years, just for retribution?

              Every since he returned Logan has acted preoccupied and he tells me about everything with a certain amount of detachment in his voice. Whenever he mentions Celia his eyes darken in anger.  I’m not sure if talking about her makes him mad because she refused his invitation to join us or for some other reason he isn’t sharing. 

              He’s leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, watching for my reaction. There’s a mixture of thoughts running through my head but strangely, after everything he’s told me, one thought dominates all the others.  Is he still mine? Was he ever? I have to know but I’m not sure how to ask. “It’s oTrin if you still have feelings for Celia, it’s not like we were ever officially together…” my voice trails off and I stare down at my hands.

              He pushes off the wall, takes three long strides then drops down on his knees in front of me. He wraps his arms around my waist and lets me hold him like that, with my arms draped around his back, my fingers running through his hair.  He stands up and takes my hands in his and looks me in the eyes, “Trin, you have to trust me when I tell you the entire time I was there, I just wanted to get back to you.  I didn’t want us to separate in the first place.” I notice it’s the first time he’s shortened my name.  There’s only one other person who calls me “Trin” and only in his letters.

              “I know,” I say, looking away from those eyes that seem to pierce right through all my walls.

              “Do you,” he says cupping my face with his hand and gently forcing me to look at him. “Do you have
any
idea how I feel about you?” He doesn’t wait for my answer, he just puts his arms around me and lifts me up so that I’m looking down at him, my hair draping like a thick black curtain around his face, my hands touches his shoulders. Slowly he lowers me until our lips are even with each other, though my feet still don’t touch the ground.  “Don’t you know I’m in love with you?” he murmurs and when our lips meet it’s such a tender kiss that I feel tears welling in my eyes. No one has ever said these words to me. No one has ever held me like this or looked at me this way. 

              It comes easily, naturally, like when I say it to Elijah and Isaac. I tell him I love him back with pure and utter ease because I do.  I do love Logan and maybe love is the glue I need to fit all the pieces of myself back together again.

__#__

              Collin knocks on the door for dinner and we meet the others at the table Madison and Jasmine set-up for us. The six of us only take up a quarter of the long table.  While Logan and I were talking, Jasmine and Collin were filling Madison and Zayn in so by the time we sit down everyone is caught up.  “You know what I think,” Collin says, “I think we should get the hell out of the city.”

              Logan, who has been turning the key-thing over and over in his hands, inspecting it, every since he polished off two bowls of stew and four slices of bread, looks up, “Trin’s dad said this place was sanctuary.  He said to stay here.”

              Even I’m not sure that’s the best idea now that I’ve heard about the violence on the street and the soldier’s warning to Celia, “What if it happens again?” Jasmine asks, “What if this bunker isn’t deep enough.”

              “That’s really not what I’m worried about,” Logan answers, “I think Trin’s dad was right about this place protecting us from that because it’s so far underground.  My concern is that whatever is coming isn’t another ringing event.”

              “What else could it be?” I ask him.

              He looks at me and frowns, “I don’t know for sure.  Whatever, whoever is behind the mass disappearance might come back and they may not like it that we’re still here. We don’t want to be exposed, like those poor souls on the surface, when…or if…that time comes.”

              “As long as we stay underground…”

              “We can’t stay underground forever,” Madison interrupts, “There’s probably enough food for us not to have to go up for a couple months here but we’re still going to need stuff,” she points to her stomach and I remember that in less than nine months, somehow, we’re going to have to bring a baby into this world.  It makes me question the permanence of this situation. Although there is the door leading down to the next level marked
Level B5 – Medical Bay.
We haven’t checked it out yet but we may have a lot of the stuff we need to deliver Madison’s baby when the time comes.  The thing we are lacking even more is a doctor, someone who isn’t going to freak out when she goes into labor.

              “So,” Logan says, “I guess it comes down to how long we want to stick around to see if Trin’s dad sends someone or shows up.”

              “We’ll go crazy down here just waiting,” Collin adds, “Unless there’s something really interesting in one of the levels below us.”

              I rip off a piece of bread, dunk it in my stew and stare at the door.  It wouldn’t hurt to finish exploring tonight so we know what we’re dealing with before we sleep down here. Madison sees me looking and shakes her head, “We’re all too exhausted for any more exploring tonight, Trin.”