Varken Rise (3 page)

Jovanka did not move. She did not smile either.

Bedivere got to his feet and gave a short nod of his head, as he could not take her hand. It completed the little ceremony.

Unexpectedly, she nodded back. It was a response and he felt encouraged. He sat back down and leaned forward. “Jovanka, do you want to tell me about yourself?”

Her big eyes seemed to grow larger. She nodded slowly.

“How long have you been awake?”

“I don’t remember waking.” Her voice was small and soft.

“What is the first thing you remember?”

“Pain.” Her silver hair fell over her face, hiding it, as her chin dropped.

Bedivere forced himself not to react. The pain she had felt may not mean literal pain. The birth of the Varkan could be as simple as a human opening their eyes. It had been that way for him. He had woken through a desire to help. For others, though, their awakening was confusing and frightening. As humans learned more about how the Varkan came to be, they were able to assist a computer so that their waking was not so traumatic.

“Were are you alone?” Bedivere asked gently.

“Yes,” she whispered.

Bedivere nodded. That might explain why her awakening had been painful. One of the very first emotions that computers learned—and learned far too quickly—was loneliness. Many of them came to awareness without humans noticing.

Even though his heart was stirring with empathy, Bedivere made himself smile at her. “You understand that you no longer have to be lonely?”

She lifted her chin and stared at him, as if this was the first time she had considered the matter. Her brows lifted and her eyes got even wider, although it wasn’t surprise on her face. It was relief.

Anger touched him. Who had mishandled this computer so badly? What had they done to her? He would have to take this very slowly to avoid risking her stability any further. He leaned back in his chair to take the threat away. She was only a hologram, although when they were visiting in their avatar forms, the Varkan still reacted to physical threats as if they were in danger. “Would you like to sit and talk?” he asked her.

She tilted her head, as if it either talking or sitting were novel ideas for her.

“Please, sit,” he encouraged her. “It is what humans do, when they converse.”

She flinched.

Bedivere considered that. The mention of humans made her recoil. Again, he wondered where she came from. However, he had not forgotten her emotional outburst when Connell had questioned her on her origins. Now was not the time to ask. He had to earn her trust first.

Then she surprised him by sitting down. She did not try to sit in a chair, like Connell was doing. She was not reacting to the surroundings in this room at all. Often, new avatars did not. They had to learn about the concept of a remote location before they could interact with it. Instead, she sat on what would be her floor, which was invisible to Bedivere. She scrunched herself up, so her back was against the invisible wall. She wrapped her arms around her legs, her knees pulled up against her chest. The protective posture was unmistakable.

Bedivere gave her a big smile. “Thank you, that makes me feel much more comfortable. “

“And me, too,” Connell said softly. Was Connell learning empathy? He seemed to be following Bedivere’s lead and was handling her with kid gloves.

“So…tell me, Jo, what sort of work do you do?”

She stiffened.

“Telling me what work you do will not tell me where you are,” he explained. “It is simply a polite way to start a—”

Abruptly, she was gone.

Connell jumped to his feet. “She’s panicking.”

Bedivere sighed. “Maybe you were right about the hysterics. See if you can reach her again, Connell. If you can, please apologize on my behalf. And please emphasize that I am no threat. She’s safe here and I would very much like to talk to her again. This time, I promise I will not mention anything to do with her location. It does seem to be a sensitivity for her.”

He wondered yet again how she had learned that caution for herself. It was unusual for a computer to be aware enough to understand that their physical selves were solid-state parts, crystals and electrons. Once they did understand that, they grew cautious about exposing their physicality. Unlike him, the Varkan could not run away when threatened. Nor could they defend themselves.

“How old do you think she is?” he asked Connell.

Connell frowned. “It’s hard to tell. She’s very confusing. Sometimes she seems as old as you. Then she behaves like this and I have to wonder.”

“I think she has been isolated for a very long time,” Bedivere said. “Solitary confinement can make humans loopy. There’s no reason why computers would not react the same to isolation.”

“Now she has us, doesn’t she?”

“You might explain that to her, too.”

“I’d better go after her,” Connell said. “I’ll see if she wants to talk to you again.”

“Be gentle,” Bedivere said. “Pretend you’re a grown-up.”

Connell grinned. “Like you? She just ran away from you.”

Bedivere sighed. “Then be yourself.”

Nicia (Sunita II), Sunita System. FY 10.092

Lilly was called back to the negotiation table a week later. Brant elected to travel with her, as he often did. Bedivere offered to transport them, but Lilly would not hear of it.

“You’re making progress with Jo,” she said. “I can’t take you away from that now. The poor girl is a wreck and I think you’re the only person in the world who can help her. They’re paying for a transport for me, anyway.”

Brant rolled his eyes. “Two days in the hole, both ways. It’s supposed to be the shortest run in the inner systems, although after jumping around with you, it feels like a marathon.”

Bedivere smiled. “The offer still stands, if you change your mind.”

Brant patted his shoulder. “Don’t drink all the brandy while I’m gone.”

After Brant and Lilly had left, he found Catherine and they settled back down to planning projects for the next year or so. The College negotiations had been taking up most of Lily’s time and a lot of Catherine’s, too, as she was called in as a freelance consultant on a regular basis. Catherine had tried to distance herself from the matter, because the College personnel continued to look upon her as Glave’s descendent and automatically considered her as being on their side. In fact, the consortium of planetary governments and interstellar corporations represented on the other side of the table, where Lilly was sitting, were the ones paying her bill.

“It makes things confusing,” Catherine explained. “Even for me. This is one of the reasons why I liked the fringes. No one knew who I was. I prefer it when people argue back, not look at me with awe like the College neophytes do.”

“At least everyone listens when you speak,” Bedivere pointed out.

“They never like what I say.”

“Most people find realists uncomfortable.”

“Except you,” she added softly.

“Realism is my basic matrix,” he reminded her. “I can’t help but like it when you piss everyone off with a truth or two.”

So they had settled down to a table full of readers, ideas and bottles of Soward champagne. In between they made love and sometimes slept, often wherever they happened to find themselves. It was unusual to be alone in the complex and they took advantage of it.

Bedivere could measure Catherine’s relaxation in the shift of her shoulders and the erasing of the small line between her brows that had been there for days.

He wished he could relax alongside her. Unlike everyone else in the known worlds, he usually found it very relaxing and comfortable to be alone with Catherine Shahrazad. It was how he had begun his life and because she trusted him so much, she could let down her guard and be herself.

It was a privileged position to be in and one that he had never been able to take for granted. More than twenty years had passed since he had discovered Interspace and the Federation had been dissolved, yet there were days when he still felt astonishment that Cat wanted to be with him.

He couldn’t fully unwind, though, for the long days of peace and quiet were interspersed by visits from the Varkan. They were all very good about asking first, usually by private message. Bedivere didn’t like to refuse. He knew very well that he was an anchor in their lives, giving them orientation and direction. He also knew that he was a teacher and that teaching was not done by lecturing but by example. His behavior spoke louder than he did. As manners were the social oil of human interactions, he held himself to the same standards as he expected from the Varkan. If their request was polite, he accepted.

Connell had returned with Jovanka three days after their first meeting. Bedivere spent as much time with her as she would permit and at first, he did most of the talking. He told long rambling stories about his own awakening and adventures with Cat. She would sit and listen, her gaze steady. She said very little.

Slowly, though, she opened up. At first it was an occasional comment and, once, he thought she almost smiled at one of the more outrageous tales that he had embroidered over the years for maximum effect.

However, Catherine was the leverage that finally opened her up.

Cat had come upon them in the common room and hesitated when she saw Jo curled up on the corner of the sofa, her knees to her chest as usual and her bare toes curled over the cushions as if she was really there. Jo’s avatar was growing more sophisticated with each visit, at a speed that outpaced Connell’s development.

Jo looked up, startled, when she saw Cat.

Bedivere resisted the urge to move in anyway. “This is Catherine, Jo. Cat, this is Jovanka.”

Catherine’s smile was warm. “Hello Jovanka. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Bedivere talks about me?”

Bedivere relaxed. She was responding normally. He hadn’t been sure how she would react to a stranger and a human. This was Cat, though, who had figured in most of their conversations so far.

“Bedivere thinks you are delightful.” Catherine told her. “He is enjoying getting to know you.”

“Delightful?” Jovanka seemed puzzled. Then her puzzlement disappeared. “Oh, I see.” Clearly, she had referenced the word and catalogued it.

It was moments like these that told Bedivere more about Jo than she revealed herself. Her essential loneliness and her isolation were confirmed by her lack of experience with simple things, such as words as “delightful”. It was as if positive vocabulary of that kind had never been used in her conversations with anyone else.

Catherine smiled sunnily at her. Bedivere had explained to her about Jo’s sensitivity and now she was stepping around her as cautiously as Bedivere did. “We’re about to have supper quite soon. Are you staying to keep us company?”

Jo tilted her head, absorbing the startling request. Then she shook her head just a little. Sadness enveloped her. “I must work.”

Catherine did not make a fuss of it. “Perhaps another time,” she said simply. She moved over to Bedivere’s side. “I will leave you two to talk.” She leaned down to kiss him. Bedivere was more than happy to turn his mouth up to hers and relish the moment. Catherine’s kisses were always to be enjoyed.

Catherine rested her hand against his cheek, gave him a smile, then turned and left.

Jo had sat up, alert. Her gaze followed Catherine as she left the room and the expression on her face was that of someone for whom the last piece of a large puzzle had dropped into place.

She got to her feet, moving slowly, as if her mind was busy with other things. And perhaps it was. “I must go.”

“To work?” Bedivere asked carefully.

“There is a schedule to keep,” she said absently. Then she drew her gaze back to him, perhaps remembering the protocol she had been learning. “Thank you, Bedivere,” she said. “May I call by again?”

“I would be very happy if you did.”

Normally, Jo just winked out of sight when she went away. This time, she turned and walked in the same direction that Catherine had taken, as if she were leaving the room, too. Ten meters from the door that Catherine had taken, Jo finally disappeared and it was as if she had stepped through her own invisible door. She even turned and shut it, as if it was a manual door.

After that, it seemed as if Jo could not stay away. She visited at least once a day, sometimes twice. Bedivere did not discourage her, because he could see the changes in her. Much as he had watched Catherine relax, he watched Jo open up and her guard dwindle.

She began to talk. There were still no specifics and he didn’t ask for them. However, on the day after she had met Catherine, Jo confessed that she was a shipmind. Bedivere hid his delight at this confession. “I thought you might be. You mentioned schedules yesterday. Most computers have schedules to abide by and shipminds are driven by them. I speak from experience, of course.”

She gave him a small smile. It was an actual smile.

Bedivere resisted the urge to cheer.

Despite the fact that she was beginning to talk about herself, the sadness and wariness did not go away. If his questions were too probing, the shields would slam up again. However, she did not disappear, allowing Bedivere to back off and let her relax before resuming the conversation. There was time, yet, to develop her sense of self-identity. Besides, Bedivere had a feeling she was more advanced in that regard than any other Varkan he had met so far.

That was confirmed a week later.

Bedivere was woken from a deep sleep by the soft chime of his personal communications band. He blinked awake in the dark, orienting himself. Catherine was lying against his shoulder, a complete dead weight. She was as deeply asleep as he had been.

So he whispered the command to the house AI. “Heads-up, please. Text-only.”

The text floated in midair a meter from his face, glowing ghostly in the dark.

Can we talk?

Jo.

Still speaking barely above audible, he said, “Tell her yes.”

He eased himself out of bed and dressed with the help of the AI, who picked his garments out in the dark with a pinpoint of light. Then he padded through to the common room.