Vengeance (SSU Trilogy Book 1) (30 page)

Thank heavens her cheeks were already flushed from the heat, because she blushed like a virgin. She jerked her hands away and positioned them to cover herself. She didn’t understand how he could like what he saw. Her body had changed so much since the attack.

There was nothing left but muscle and bone. And her collection of scars.

“Don’t hide on my behalf.” Niko’s voice was a taut, husky growl that made her belly clench. “God. You’re so beautiful.”

Her hands slowly dropped away, compelled by the strength of his words. She let Niko look his fill while her embarrassment faded under a punch of arousal.

He walked toward her with uncoordinated steps, as if pulled by marionette strings. His eyes traveled up her body and clashed with hers.

The heat in his eyes consumed her. Incinerated every thought of her mission, scorched through the lingering memories of pain and violation left by the attack, and turned her will to smoke. Her lips parted and her body arched toward him.

“Finish it,” Niko commanded.

She glanced at the door.

“Rafe went back to his hotel. He’s gone until the morning.” Niko took another step toward her.

Her hands moved of their own accord, stroking over her breasts, down her stomach, and back between her legs.

She kept her head turned so she could watch Niko.

Color washed into his face. He groaned. His fingers flexed at his sides.

She stared at those strong, battered hands, once again imagining them taking the place of her own touch. But dammit, her neck hurt too much turned at this angle. And she felt…lonely.

“Why don’t you save my aching neck,” she said in a husky whisper she didn’t recognize, “and climb in here with me?”

Niko took another step forward, then halted abruptly, like he’d run into an invisible wall. “You…” he gestured to the tub, then to the bulge behind his fly. “Me.” He cleared his throat.

“Jenna, with everything you’ve been through, are you sure you’re ready for sex? Because that’s what’s going to happen if I come any closer. Me. Inside you.”

It took a moment for her brain to pull back from arousal and focus on the worry behind Niko’s words. There he was again, watching out for her. She would have smiled if she hadn’t thought he’d take it the wrong way.

“I want this,” she said. “It’s been too long since I felt like a woman.” Now she did smile, hoping to break through Niko’s reserve. “The assassins stole everything from me that night. I need to take this back. Help me, please.” She moved restlessly in the water. “I’m not afraid. Not with you…”

She crooked her finger. “Come here. Please.”

Niko flung off his clothes, cursing when his bandaged arm got in the way.

She grinned, enjoying the quick strip show and Niko’s flare of temper.

But then he was lowering himself into the water, giving her a close up of fully aroused male.

Oh. Damn. She felt a faint lick of panic. Remembered how torn and hurt she’d been after the rape. Could she take Niko without pain?

With a groan of appreciation, Niko settled himself at the opposite end of the tub and stretched his legs out so they bracketed hers, while keeping his injured arm propped on the rim of the tub. The relief on his face as the hot water soothed his aching muscles banished her fear. Instead, she felt the warmth of tenderness and a fierce protectiveness. He’d been hurt and she wanted to heal him.

Underneath it all was the shimmer of growing need.

Niko’s eyes flicked to her face, then down to her hands. “Please…” He swallowed. Wet his lips with his tongue. “Continue.”

She hesitated, suddenly shy. Aware how out of practice she was. Afraid she wouldn’t be able to climax.

Niko must have sensed her nervousness. His good hand reached under the water and lightly stroked her shin. Up. Down. Circling. Re-igniting the fire within her.

She lost herself in the heat and approval in Niko’s eyes, and without further thought, she touched herself. His nostrils flared and he stared at the juncture of her thighs through the water as she slowly worked herself toward a gentle peak.

And there it was. Fullness. A sense of being helpless to hold back the pleasure.

She held his gaze until her neck arched and her lids closed, then gave herself to the sweet, short climax. Aware, when it was over, that her face was wet with tears again.

She brushed them away and opened her eyes, afraid to see the expression on Niko’s face. Not wanting him to pity her.

But pity was the last thing on Niko’s mind. His left knee was bent and he was stroking himself with long, mesmerizing sweeps of his hand.

“That was so beautiful,” he whispered.

The raw appreciation on his face jolted her body back to awareness. But she didn’t want to stay on this side of the tub any longer. She wanted his skin against hers.

She wanted to feel the rush from being in control. Of watching Niko as he came apart.

She shifted forward and pulled his bent knee down, so both legs were straight in front of him. Then she knelt with her legs on either side of his. Holding his gaze, she leaned down and placed her lips on his for the barest whisper of a kiss. Then she sat back, brushed his hand aside and touched him intimately.

Even through the warmth of the water, he burned. Jenna closed her eyes so she could savor the sensation. Relearning how to touch a man this way. Discovering what gave Niko the most pleasure.

“Christ!”

Niko bucked beneath her and Jenna smiled. Yes! This was what she wanted.

Niko’s hands traced down the outside of her arms, moved across the water to her breasts.

She opened her eyes and shook her head at him. “Uh-uh. This is my show. No touching until I tell you.” She captured his wrists and placed them firmly on the edge of the tub. To emphasize her point, she looked first at one hand, then the other, then fixed him with a stern eye as she pushed firmly down on his arms.

His body arched toward her. She readjusted her position, but didn’t let him go.

“Okay, okay, I get it.” He gave her a strained smile. “No touching. I promise.”

She nodded and went back to her exploration. Each movement of his hips toward her roaming hands gave her courage. Made her feel powerful.

She wanted to see all of him without the distortion of the water, so she flicked the drain open with her foot. Deciding she wanted to taste him, she put her mouth on his flat copper nipple. His uniquely spicy flavor warmed her tongue like a cinnamon-spiked mocha and she couldn’t stop herself from gorging on his skin. Over the flare of his pectoral. Along the scar under his collar bone. Sucking on the wildly pulsing vein at his throat.

Her mind reeled under the sensory overload until she was writhing against him, seeking some outlet for the energy burning through her veins.

Finally, she couldn’t take any more. She sat back, desperate to catch her breath.

And noticed that the veins on the back of Niko’s forearms stood out from squeezing the edges of the tub so hard.

God, she’d forgotten about forbidding him to touch her. Even though she could tell it was costing him, he didn’t ask to be released. And she knew, with absolute certainty, that he would stay in this position forever if she demanded it.

So, perversely, she realized it was the last thing she wanted. She lifted his arms and placed them around her in a loose hug.

“Jenna? You sure?”

She started to nod, but before her chin had lowered more than a quarter of an inch, Niko’s hands were all over her. Pulling her mouth to his for a long, thirsty kiss. Stroking up and down her arms. Making patterns on her back. Teasing her breasts.

Yet never caging her or pressing her with enough force to make her feel threatened.

Instead, she felt cherished. Desired.

Until finally, she couldn’t take the pressure any more. She had to have him. Now.

She scooted back and slowly positioned herself to take him in. Her body was wet, open, weeping for this. She took him in hand, and for an instant, froze in doubt. What if this hurt? What if she panicked?

“It’s okay, Jenna,” Niko said in a voice almost unrecognizable with lust. “Take as long as you like. Stop if you have to. I’ll…survive.”

The flare of denial she felt at his words gave her the confidence to slowly bring him inside her.

And there wasn’t pain. An uncomfortable fullness, yes. Almost like she was a virgin again. But her body gradually opened, accepting him. And, like a dancer revisiting a routine she hadn’t performed in years, Jenna felt the exhilaration of muscles taking up a rhythm beyond her control. Remembering moves she couldn’t have predicted to save her life.

She looked into Niko’s eyes and the pride she saw shining back sent her even higher. He gripped her hips, matching her rhythm and steadying her for his deeper thrusts.

Music whirled through her blood. Bright, shining notes carried her into the heavens. Stars pierced the sky, welcoming her with long, brilliant pulses.

Somewhere far below, a woman’s voice cried out in ecstasy. “Niko!”

Jenna floated in the clouds, starting a slow, gentle descent back to earth. Niko’s arms cradled her against his body and she cuddled against him, drowsily content.

Niko’s lips pressed a kiss into her hair. “You okay?”

She nodded. She was more than okay. Fabulous. Limp with pleasure. Truly alive for the first time since she’d watched her mother die.

She jerked upright. No!

Her mother. Isabel. They’d never experience pleasure ever again. What right did Jenna have to feel such overwhelming pleasure? Could she be more selfish?

She pushed away from Niko and scrambled out of the tub. No! Her lips formed the words but no sound came out.

“Jenna? What’s wrong,
querida
?”

Her foot slipped and she went down on one knee. No, she couldn’t fall. She had to get out of here. She couldn’t have—

She pushed to her feet and bolted for the bedroom door.

“Jenna?” Niko’s voice was sharp with alarm now. “Did I hurt you? Dammit, talk to me!”

She heard his feet slap wetly at the tile. Tried to tell him to leave her alone, but couldn’t speak the words. So she just shook her head frantically at him.

She bolted into the bedroom and locked the door behind her just as a tsunami of screams burst through her mental defenses, driving her to her knees.

Isabel’s scream, ending with a whimpered, “It hurts.”

Justin’s scream of rage and helplessness as his twin was raped.

Her father’s protest, “No! Kai—” never completed.

Her mother’s hoarse command, “Run, Jenna!”

Her own screams rising, falling, burning their way out of her throat. Pain. Fear.

Pleasure.

Pleasure? Oh, God, what had she done? She’d betrayed them.

Tears ran down her face into her open mouth. How could she?

Forgive me, please forgive me. I didn’t mean to find pleasure. I’m sorry.

She was cold. So cold.

She put her back against the door, pulled her knees up to her chest, and held on while grief devoured her body.

#

Jesus H. Christ. What was wrong with Jenna?

Niko stared at the bedroom door. When she’d pushed away from him, he’d been afraid he’d hurt her. But one look at her face and he realized her pain wasn’t physical.

She’d been on the verge of an emotional meltdown.

Which didn’t make him feel any less like a total shit. He ran his hand over his hair. Should he go in there? Or give her space?

He thought about the look on her face. About the sheer horror and panic in her eyes. Like a wild animal caught in a hunter’s trap.

He could hear her crying through the door.

Okay, probably not a good idea to go after her. Let her calm down.

But shit…he hated the idea of her suffering alone. So he knocked on the door.

He heard a hitch in her sobbing, which he took to mean she was listening.

“Jenna, knock once if I hurt you, twice if you’re physically okay.”

One heartbeat. Two.
Come on, sweetheart, answer.

Two knocks.

Ah, thank God.

“Okay, so…I’ll be out in the sitting room if you want a hug or to talk or anything.” Je-sus could he possibly sound any lamer?

She didn’t knock back.

He barely resisted the urge to walk around to the door from the sitting room into the bedroom to see for himself how she was doing. Ignoring the voice that demanded he fix whatever was bothering Jenna, Niko walked over to the shower.

But even after he’d showered and ordered a snack from room service, Jenna still hadn’t emerged from the bedroom. He couldn’t hear anything through the door, and this time he figured he was justified in checking on her.

Jenna was curled up on the floor, fast asleep, snuffling wetly with every other breath.

Ah, querida.
Niko’s heart did a long, slow roll.

He picked her up, amazed at how light she was despite her muscles. He tucked her in bed without her breathing breaking rhythm.

As he watched her sleeping, his hands clenched into fists. She didn’t belong here. Tonight’s breakdown proved she wasn’t ready to handle the coming fight with Alvarez.

He glanced at the clock radio on the bedside table. It wasn’t too late to call Ryker and set up a bodyguard for Jenna. Someone to protect her on a commercial flight home.

Niko grabbed the second pillow and a spare blanket, and headed into the sitting room.

Thank God Rafe had returned to his hotel. His brother would take one look at the open sofa bed and bust a gut laughing.

Niko shook his head and dialed Ryker. His boss agreed to the bodyguard and was able to do one better. He’d ask a friend with a private plane to make a special trip down to Mexico. Jenna could hitch a ride back the next afternoon.

As Niko ended the call, the room phone rang.

#

Jenna stood at the door that led from the bedroom into the short hallway to the sitting room. The door was cracked open enough that she’d been able to hear Niko’s call to Ryker, but not wide enough to let Niko know she was awake.

She was drained, and shaky with it. All she wanted was to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over her head. But Niko was sending her away, and she couldn’t allow that.