Veritas (6 page)

“You said
that.” Lauren pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shins, the tumbler in her right hand dangling loosely from her fingertips.

“Well, I mean it.”
Grey took another drink, smaller this time, and turned to look at Lauren, who was regarding her with an expectant look, one thin brow arched questioningly as she waited for her to continue. “I was an ass.”

“Yeah, well,” Lauren murmured with a small shake of her head, “I don’t know if I’d go quite that far.”

“I would.”

The dejection
in Grey’s tone made Lauren stop and look at her. The circles under Grey’s eyes were impossible to miss, even in the low light, and the resigned curve of her shoulders signaled utter defeat. Lauren sighed and leaned forward just far enough to catch Grey’s eye. “Hey. It’s okay.” 

“
No, it’s not.” Grey shook her head. “I just…it wasn’t because you told me you were into women.”

Lauren chuckled wryly and shot Grey a knowing look. “I would hope not. That would be pretty hypocritical of you, don’t you think?”

“How…?”

“I was at Jack’s on Friday night.” Lauren nodded as she watched understanding dawn in Grey’s expression. “I watched you pick up that blonde. She was pretty.”

“She was a distraction,
” Grey muttered as she looked back up at the stars. “They’re always just a distraction.”

Lauren sighed and took another sip of her drink as the hollowness of Grey’s voice melted away any lingering frustration she might have felt toward
her. There was obviously more to Grey’s story—a painful reason that Grey’s eyes looked so haunted whenever she caught her staring. Lauren had spent the day wishing for some kind of an explanation as to why Grey kept dancing around her, becoming friendly and then bolting away as if burned, but she realized that she did not want it. Not like this, anyway. “Look, don’t worry about this morning. We’re good.”

Grey let out a shaky breath
, relief flooding through her as she looked into warm hazel eyes that stared unblinkingly back at her. “You serious?”

“Yeah.” Lauren nodded.

“I…” The genuine smile curling Lauren’s lips was enough to convince Grey that Lauren meant it, and she sighed, her entire body relaxing at the reprieve. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Lauren
lifted her glass in a silent toast before she took a small sip and turned her attention toward the horizon. She kept her gaze trained on the line where the inky black sea and the deep indigo sky met, purposefully ignoring Grey’s eyes that she could feel on her. She could have filled the air with meaningless chatter, but she enjoyed the quiet, and she had a feeling that Grey might need it too.

Grey stared at Lauren, baffled by
her forgiveness. She knew that she did not deserve such kindness, not after the way she had behaved from the moment they first met, but there was a serenity in Lauren’s expression that told her it was real.

The silence that stretched between them was gentle and easy,
a far cry from the tenseness that had surrounded them the day before, and the longer it lasted, the more relaxed Grey became. She felt the weight on her shoulders begin to lift ever so slightly, and she found herself able to breathe more fully than she had in a long time. It was surreal, how much better she felt sitting in silence beside a woman she barely knew—a woman who reminded her too much of someone she would never forget. It was strange and scary and kind of amazing, but the shadow of loss that had been her constant companion these last few years became less overwhelming with every breath she took.

Time passed in a hazy blur, and Grey was surprised
when she realized that the lights from the bedrooms that overlooked the bow had been turned off, leaving the
Veritas
illuminated by only the moon and the stars overhead. She could not remember the last time she had felt so at peace, and she selfishly wished that she had thought to bring the bottle of scotch out with her so that they would have an excuse to spend the rest of the night right where they were. It had been too long since she had felt this content, and her stomach dropped in disappointment when the sound of Lauren yawning quietly beside her signaled that it was all about to end.

Lauren
smiled apologetically at Grey. “I should probably go to bed. I need to wake up early again tomorrow to get breakfast ready.”

“What are we having?”
Grey asked, trying to extend the moment as long as possible, knowing the contentment she was feeling would disappear with Lauren.

“I haven’t really decided yet.
Is there anything special that you would like?” Lauren asked.

“Waffles.”

Lauren smiled at Grey’s quick reply, and nodded as she pushed herself to her feet. “All right. I’ll make waffles.” She leaned down to give Grey’s shoulder a light squeeze, hoping the gentle touch would reassure Grey that things between them were still okay. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Grey sighed a
nd relaxed into the touch, soaking up the warmth it provided. “See you in the morning.”

Lauren was sitting at the dining table nursing a cup of coffee and reading a book on her iPad when Grey wandered into the salon just after dawn the next morning. Hair still damp from her shower
and wearing a pair of short white shorts and a faded red Lifeguard t-shirt, Grey looked relaxed and rested, and Lauren smiled when the brunette’s gaze traveled from the waffle machine on the counter in the galley to her. “Good morning,” she murmured, being careful to keep her voice down since everyone else was still sleeping.

“You’re really making waffles,” Grey said, her voice tinged with excitement as she
made her way into the galley to make herself a cup of coffee.

“I told you I would.
I’m going to fancy them up a bit and make cinnamon roll waffles, but if you’d prefer them plain, I can just not add the swirl and stuff to yours.”

Grey shook her head. “You don’t need to make anything special for me.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Lauren assured her. “It’s just the toppings that would be different.”

“Nah, what you’re planning on doing s
ounds great.” The coffee machine shut down with a hiss and a splutter, and Grey smiled shyly at Lauren as she picked up her mug. “I just really like waffles.”

Lauren chuckled and
smiled as she leaned back in her seat. “Yeah, I got that.”

The playful twinkle in L
auren’s eyes made Grey’s stomach flutter, and she ran a hand through her hair as she looked at her. A good night’s sleep had done little to shed any light on why, exactly, she felt so at ease around Lauren, but she had decided while she was in the shower to just go with it. There was something about Lauren that drew her in, and the more she thought about Lauren, the harder it became to even think about avoiding her.

Grey
cleared her throat softly and hitched a thumb toward the back deck. “Would you, maybe, want to come up to the bridge and watch the sunrise?”

Pleased that the détente they had reached the night before still seemed to be holding, Lauren nodded. “Sure. That sounds great.”

The early morning air was cool but not uncomfortably so, and Lauren could not help but smile as she sat down on the sunbathing mat that was laid out in front of the helm up on the bridge. The sky along the horizon was streaked with orange and gold, while the space above clung stubbornly to the darker shades of night in the face of the rising sun. The air stirred with the ever-present trade winds blowing out of the east, and gulls swooped majestically overhead, their excited cries ringing in the new day as they dove for their breakfast.

“Not bad, hu
h?” Grey asked as she sat down on the opposite end of the red mat from Lauren.

“Not at all.
” Lauren nodded and sipped at her coffee. She looked out at the horizon and smiled. “I used to go out with my dad on our boat when I was a kid to watch the sunrise. The mornings were usually cooler than this, and a lake in Minnesota obviously has nothing on the Caribbean, but I’ve always loved this time of day where everything is new and fresh and quiet.”

“You probably don’t get a lot of quiet in New York.”

“You can find it,” Lauren murmured, her eyes still trained on the horizon. “Not easily, of course, but if you go into the middle of Central Park early in the morning like this, you can almost forget that you’re on an island with over a million and a half other people.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t do
living in a big city like that.” Grey shook her head. “I need space.”

Lauren tipped her hea
d at their surroundings and hummed softly under her breath. “Well, you’ve got plenty of that here.”

Grey
nodded and sipped at her coffee. “Yeah.”

They watched the sun inch incrementally higher in a relaxed silence that was reminiscent of the one that had surround
ed them the night before, each of them comfortable to simply enjoy the moment. It was a gift, Grey knew, to find somebody who knew how to let go and just exist in the moment without having to fill the air with meaningless words. Kip could do it for a short amount of time, but Grey always knew that her friend was struggling to keep quiet. In fact, besides her father, and now Lauren, she had only ever found one person who would just sit with her like this and not say a word.

Sitting up on the bridge watching the sunrise while nursing her first cup of coffee on the day had been part of her daily routine with Emily, and she was surprised to find that she did not resent Lauren for reminding her. She
had spent the last few years remembering the happier times they had shared, the big moments that marked their years together, but she had forgotten about this. Had forgotten about how they would just sit up here and watch the sunrise. It was one of the little things that seemed insignificant, a simple routine that did not mean much in the grand scheme of things—but looking back on it now, Grey realized that it was the little things that meant the most.

She swallowed around a lump in her throat and shook her head.
How could I have forgotten about this?

Lauren had no idea what made her turn to look at Grey
, but the absolutely shattered look in the brunette’s eyes rocked her to her core. “Grey?”

“I’m fine,” Grey murmured, closing her eyes and
scrubbing a hand over her face. “I’m fine.”

Grey
was obviously anything but fine, but Lauren accepted the lie at face value, not wanting to push. “Right, well…I’m getting hungry. You wanna help me go make some waffles?” she asked, offering Grey both a distraction and an opportunity to be alone, depending on what she needed.

Having something else to focus on sounded like a godsend, and Grey drew a shaky breath as she ran a hand through her hair. “Making waffles sounds great.”

“Good.” Lauren nodded and pushed herself to her feet. “You can be my sous chef.”

Grey smiled in spite of the pain that was radiating through her chest
. “Oh, I can, can I?”

“Absolutely.
” Lauren winked at Grey. “Besides, everybody who loves waffles needs to know how to make these. They’re orgasmic.”

“Orgasmic, huh?
” Grey absently pressed her free hand to her chest, trying to ease the feeling of aching loss that threatened to cripple her.

Lauren nodded.
“Bet your ass.”

“You sound pretty sure of yourself
,” Grey pointed out as she dropped her hand to her side.

“Well, yeah,” Lauren scoffed
as she turned and headed down the stairs. “I mean, I am pretty awesome.”

Grey shook her head and followed Lauren into the galley,
and she smiled when the redhead threw an apron at her. “You’re seriously going to make me cook?”

“I am.”
Lauren arched a brow challengingly at Grey.

Grey slipped
the apron over her head and tying the strings around her waist and gave Lauren a disbelieving look. “I could have sworn that I was paying you to cook the food.”

Lauren pulled a large glass mixing bowl full of batter from the fridge and set it down besi
de the waffle machine. “Come on. Orgasmic waffles do not cook themselves.”

“
What does orgasmic mean?” a little voice piped up, making both Grey and Lauren jump.

Reid
wiggled himself up onto one of the barstools and looked at the two women expectantly.

“It, um…” Grey muttered, shooting Lauren a desperate look begging for help.

“It means really good,” Lauren explained, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. “But, you should probably just say ‘really good’.”

“Okay.
” Reid folded his arms on the counter and looked interestedly at the waffle machine. “Can I have a really good waffle?”

“Absolutely, buddy.
” Grey smiled and plugged in the waffle machine. She turned to look at Lauren, whose shoulders were trembling with silent laughter, and shook her head as she muttered, “Way to teach the kid new vocabulary words, Murphy.”