Verity (13 page)

“What are you on about, Dawn?” I wasn’t sure what Nathan was playing at, but Dawn was obviously not impressed. Her hands on her hips, she looked me up and down in disgust.

“Whatever you’re into,” she said as snidely as she could manage. Then she snapped out of it and beamed at Nathan. “I think I’m the one who needs to be walked home by you after everything I’ve gone through today.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I headed out to meet Abbi and, get this, there was a dead rabbit in my garden!” She paused for dramatic effect.

Nathan glanced at me, but my heart had started pounding. “Okay?”

“I don’t mean just dead. I mean, like, its head was ripped clean off. So disgusting. I’m literaly traumatised for life.” Nathan made a face. “Yuck. Maybe it was a fox or something.”

“Don’t say that,” she exclaimed. “I’l never be able to sleep knowing there are wild animal outside.” She opened her eyes as wide as possible. “My life could be in danger!”

Abbi roled her eyes and tried to drag a resistant Dawn after her. A low growl rumbled in Cúchulain’s throat. Dawn edged backward, her eyes widening as she tried to swalow her panic. Nathan let Cúchulain take one step toward her. That was al it took. Dawn shrieked and tripped over herself in her hurry to get away.

“See you two at school,” Abbi said with a wink. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she added before hurrying after Dawn.

Nathan didn’t even wait until we were out of earshot to start laughing.

“Eh, what’s al this about?” I said, pointing at his arm which was stil around me.

“Sorry,” he said, distancing himself. “She’s just so annoying. Al she does is say horrible things, and she can’t take no for an answer. She drives me mad, so I thought I’d do the same to her. Was that mean?”

“A bit.”

He laughed again. “Good. She’s awful.”

I felt disappointed he used me to get his own back at someone.

“You seem a lot more cheerful now,” I said.

“People depress me,” he said, his mood suddenly switching again. I raised an eyebrow. “Not you, but sometimes that house,”—he shook his head—“My family can be a bit much sometimes, you know? They expect me to be a certain way, and I can’t. It’s like everyone wants me to be something I’m not.”

“I get it. Mine can make me feel like my head is going to explode.”

“Yeah, same here. I can’t be myself around them, I always feel like I’m playing a part or something.” That hit me hard. It was exactly how I felt most of the time. “I know what you mean, I wish they’d let me be me, or at least let me find out who me is,” I said.

“They’re too busy trying to make me like them, they can’t see anything else.”

“Exactly,” he said. “I don’t even know you properly, and you get me better than they do, better than anyone does.” I had to laugh. “I don’t think I get you very often. You confuse me more than anyone else.”

He glanced at me to see if I was serious. “You look at me as if you know me,” he said, hesitant.

“Do I?” I bowed my head, feeling shy.

“You do. Sometimes I’m afraid you know al my secrets.”

I grinned up at him. “Are they that bad?”

“Depends on who you ask.”

“They can’t be that bad.”

“Maybe they would shock you. Scare you even.” He didn’t smile.

I studied him for a moment, running my mind over the worst possible things I could think of. “I don’t think so. If your big ass dog didn’t scare me....” He smiled. “I wish I could tel you al my secrets so.”

“Nobody’s stopping you.”

“Ah. Except for me,” he said in a curiously sad tone of voice.

“Wel, you’re the only boss of you,” I said, trying to sound light-hearted. “I live over there.” I pointed to my house.

“That was quick. I guess I should probably leave you here in case your Dad is home, yeah?”

I nodded. “Thanks, but yeah, exactly. Thank you for walking me home.”

“My pleasure.” He bit his lip. “I better go. See you tomorrow?”

“I suppose so,” I said, but I waited. He lingered for a few seconds, like he didn’t want to leave, but his dog seemed eager to folow a scent, so he waved goodbye. As soon as he walked away my mood bottomed out.

Gran ambushed me as soon as I walked in the door. She’s one of those nosy neighbours who spend way too much time peering through curtains in case she misses something.

“Was that Amelia’s brother? Isn’t he a cute one! I always knew you had good taste.”

“Gran, don’t. I’m not in the mood for your teasing. His grandparents made him walk me home, that’s al.” She raised an eyebrow.

“Realy, Gran,” I said, a little upset because I was actualy teling the truth.

Gran hugged me and said nice, reassuring things until I smiled. We sat down together and had a chat about what was going on in my life. I didn’t tel her how often I thought about Nathan, or the fact I dreamt about him al time, or even how much better I felt whenever I was close to him.

I did tel her how Tammie and Joey seemed to be getting closer, and I felt left out. How Amelia was trying to push me and Nathan together, but it wasn’t working. I even admitted how much I liked him, and how hurt I was when he kept playing hot and cold with me.

“Ah, mo ghrá, didn’t I ever tel you that’s how teenage boys are?”

I shook my head, feeling sorry for myself.

She smiled at me. “You know, I remember your mother crying in my arms when she wasn’t much older than you because your Daddy laughed at her in front of everyone. When they were alone, he acted like he loved her, but when his friends were around, oh, he was awful to her.”

“Realy? My Dad did that?”

“Of course he did. He was a teenage boy, wasn’t he? They take longer to mature. Girls know what they want years before boys ever do.” That made me laugh. I couldn’t imagine my Dad being immature. “So what did you tel her?”

“I said, give him a few months, and he’l be the one folowing you around. And he was! She played it cool, of course. Then he practicaly camped outside our door.

Your grandfather wasn’t impressed. He didn’t think she was old enough for a boyfriend, and he thought your father was too old because he was already in colege.

Your grandfather was a strict man.”

“Was he?”

“Oh, yes. He wouldn’t let Stephen into the house, and he forbade your mother from seeing him. Of course, that had the opposite effect. She liked him al the better for standing up to your grandfather. She started sneaking out to see him. Her father went crazy, he even locked her in her room.” My eyes grew wide. I didn’t know any of this. “And what happened then?”

My Gran’s eyes dimmed as she remembered. “She didn’t come home from school one day. We were mad with worry. We didn’t know what was happening until she rang us to say they had eloped. And they weren’t coming back.”

“Wow. That was awful.”

Gran nodded. “Your grandfather... wel, he wasn’t the same after that. He was heartbroken because she had been his little pet al of her life. She refused to visit, rarely contacted us at al. Eighteen months later, he had a heart attack and died. She turned up shortly after the funeral. You were with her, just a tiny baby. I didn’t even know I was a grandmother until then. Your father had stayed behind, he couldn’t miss his classes. We had a lovely few days together, like the old days again. Then I woke up one morning, you were screaming your head off for a feed. And she was gone.”

I squeezed Gran’s hand. Her eyes had misted over. She cleared her throat and carried on, as if she had to finish the story.

“She rang me the next day to tel me she couldn’t cope with being married, being a mother. She wanted her own chance at life, she wanted to go back to school and be somebody.” Gran laughed harshly. “She was always selfish, but I never imagined... I had to ring your father and let him know what happened. He was distraught. He loved your mother so much. He needed to stay in school. I wanted to get to know my grandchild, and you know the rest.” I gazed at her sympatheticaly, not knowing what to say. I had never realy thought about how bad it must have been for Gran to lose her daughter like that.

“You know, her favourite book growing up was about a little girl caled Perdita. She was a sad little character with no real family or friends, always forgotten about. I always thought of it, every single time you tried to hide away from the limelight.” She gestured as if batting away the past. “So. Your mother. I tried to make sure history wouldn’t repeat itself, make sure your father didn’t drive you away too, but I suppose I haven’t done the best job, have I?” I knelt beside her and rested my head on her knee. “I won’t ever do that, Gran. Any of it. I promise. But I need to find my own way, even if that’s selfish. I can’t be who you or Dad want me to be.”

She stroked my hair. “I know that, Perdy. We’re so caught up in the past we haven’t been paying attention. I swear I’l do better; it’s hard to forget things sometimes.

You scared us when you said you would leave. We’ve both been trying our best to let you use your wings. But it’l take time.” We spent the rest of the day together. Closer than we’d been for a long time. I was glad she opened up to me. It made me understand exactly where she and Dad were coming from. She was looking for a second chance, and he was terrified I would make his mistakes. I wasn’t planning on letting either of them down.

At school the next day, Tammie asked me if I’d go into town with her that evening. I waited for her to turn up for hours, eventualy ringing her to see what was going on.

“Oh, sorry,” she said. “I’m out with Joey.”

“Em, okay. Did you forget you asked me to go to town with you?”

“I went with Joey instead. Listen, I have to go, I’l see you tomorrow, okay?”

She hung up before I could say anything else. I stood there looking at my phone in confusion for a few minutes until it beeped to let me know I had received a text. It was from Amelia asking if I had seen anything nice in town. I texted her back to let her know we hadn’t gone. Her next message invited me over. I figured if Dad was going to let me go into town with Tammie then he wouldn’t have a problem with me heading over to Amelia’s house, so I agreed.

At Amelia’s house, I was half-relieved, half-disappointed to find she was completely alone.

“Where’s everyone?”

Her bottom lip jutted out into a sulky pout. “They had to go somewhere and couldn’t take me along.”

“Oh? Where?” I sort of blurted it out without thinking.

Amelia flushed scarlet. “Um, they’re al at the cinema together. Anyway, you’re here now. Wanna see my room?” She led me up the stairs before I could ask her why on earth her family couldn’t take her to the pictures with them. I saw even more pictures of wolves.

“Your family realy like wolves,” I muttered.

She giggled as if I had just made a realy funny joke. Her cluttered bedroom was not what I expected. Dream catchers hung around her bed and wind chimes decorated her windows. There were pictures and ornaments al over the place. She was a total hoarder; al of her shelves overflowed.

“Wow,” I said, wandering over to her bookshelf. “This is some room.” Al of her books were on the occult or ancient mythology. I had expected it to be filed with teen romances or something.

“Thanks,” she said, beaming. She picked up a smal silk bag and pointed at it.

“Want me to do a reading?”

My mind went blank. “A reading?”

“Yeah, like, tarot cards.”

“Um, okay. I don’t believe in any of that stuff though.”

“That’s alright. You wil soon enough.”

I laughed, but she didn’t look like she was kidding.

She took a pack of cards from the silk pouch and shuffled them.

“Sit on the bed. I’l do a simple three card reading. One card for your past, your present, and your future.” I gave a careless shrug in reply but sat down and waited. Part of me was intrigued, part of me thought she might be a little crazy.

“Okay,” she said, sitting across from me. “Pick a card, but don’t touch it, or I’l have to cleanse them.”

“Laying it on a bit thick aren’t we? Okay, that one.” I pointed to the middle of the spread deck. She turned the card over revealing a heart being stabbed by three long swords.

“This is your past. Oh, Perdita, I’m sorry.” She bit her lip hard.

“Sorry? Why?”

“The three of swords is a card of sorrow. It says your past was ful of conflict, pain and heartbreak.”

“That’s just stupid. I don’t like this game.” An al too familiar lump in my throat horrified me.

“It’s not a game! Anyway, it’s okay because the problems lead to a good outcome. Pick another card. One for your present.” I couldn’t help roling my eyes. She had put on a low voice to try and sound mysterious. I pointed to another card. It portrayed a couple holding a pair of cups while a lion’s head looked down on them. Amelia practicaly jumped up and down with glee.

“I knew it! This is the two of cups. It signifies the beginning of a relationship, love and partnership. And guess what, my brother’s single. How lucky!”

“Oh, shut up, and get on with it. That’s another rubbish card.” I pointed at the final card, the one which would predict my future. One word caught my eye. Death.

“Great,” I muttered.

“It’s not how it looks, I promise. In fact, it can be a great card. It just means a new beginning. The death is pretty much the end of an old way of life, the start of something brand new. It foretels major changes in your future. Considering the other two cards, it makes sense, right?” I couldn’t help laughing at the serious look on her face. “Right, Amelia. Makes total sense. I’m sure your pack of cards have my entire life worked out. I told you, I don’t believe in this stuff. I don’t know why you do.”

She glared at me and twisted the charm bracelet on her wrist. “I
believe
because I happen to know there’s more to this life than people think. I’ve seen things most people believe can’t be true, so I know for a fact anything’s possible.” For the first time I caught a glimpse of a fiery little temper.

I raised my hands in protest. “I’m sorry, okay? It’s just not for me. I don’t believe a card can predict my future. Nobody can. If you want to believe in al this stuff, then go ahead, that’s cool for you. Just don’t try and do a reading for Tammie, please. If she gets a Death card, she
will
flip out on you.” Amelia laughed along with me, her flash of temper over. I knew I had no right to judge her or the things she believed in, but I stil thought her reaction was a little odd.