Vice (Tortured Heroes Book 1) (6 page)

Something about her eyes as she took another sip of wine. This wasn’t her first glass and the stuff was strong. She was just a little thing and I knew she was buzzed. I should have said my goodbyes then and there. Except she pulled me to her like a tractor beam. I just wanted to be near her, listen to her smoky voice and hear her thought process.

“No story. What you see is what you get.” I finished my wine and set my glass on the granite coffee table in front of us next to the half-empty bottle. She made a gesture asking if I wanted another glass. I shook my head.

“I highly doubt that. I mean Lincolnshire, Ohio to Northpointe, Michigan. Seems like a lateral move. Why here? You have family? Friends? A girl, maybe?”

I shook my head. “Just a few friends in the area.”

She waited for me to elaborate. I wanted to. She was easy to talk to and I hoped she felt the same way about me. But sitting with her here like this. It felt like a lie. There was nothing I could tell her that would be the whole truth and it started to make me feel uncomfortable. I had no ties to this girl. There was a strong chance she was the very link I needed to penetrate Cyrus Marsh’s drug ring. And yet, I found myself desperately hoping she wasn’t. If things were different. If we were different people, this evening might go in a whole other direction. One that I found myself wanting very, very badly.

“What about you?” I said, deflecting. “How does old Uncle Cy feel about you living here with a shitty lock on your door?”

She finished her wine and set her own glass down. Tucking a hair behind her ear she gave me a half-smile. “He doesn’t really come visit. He’s family, but most of what we talk about relates to the business. That’s how it’s always been.”

Devin cast her eyes to the side and looked down. She was holding something back. Something big. My gut clenched running through all the possibilities of what that might be.

“He expects a lot, I take it. He’s a pretty big deal in this town, I’m hearing.”

Devin smiled and arched a brow. “Yep. He is. Not sure whether that’s good or bad for me half the time. But Uncle Cy’s not someone you’d want on your bad side.”

I ran my fingers over the soft grooves in the couch. “I kind of got the impression I’m already
on
his bad side. He didn’t seem too thrilled to see the likes of me during our one brief encounter the other day. Sorry if I put you in some kind of awkward position.”

Devin shrugged. “Don’t take it personally. Uncle Cy may not be over here testing the sturdiness of my locks, but he’s overprotective in other ways. Seeing a new face threw him a little bit. He just wants to make sure you’re not a serial killer.”

“I’ll bet.” I swallowed back the rest of my thoughts. So Devin hadn’t told old Uncle Cy she’d hired me. That little kernel of knowledge made me think there was at least some chance she was in the dark about how her uncle really made his money. Of
course
he’d be leery if she brought new people in he hadn’t vetted first.

“Is there anything else I should know about you?” Her eyes grew dark and she didn’t break her gaze. I resisted the urge to look away. I had plenty to hide but couldn’t let her think so. Fuck. I could just guess what Cy had to say to her when I walked out of that room the other day. He could probably end my stint at the bar in a word if he got suspicious. Or worse. Running this operation basically alone had huge risks. I had no one to watch my six.

“What’s your gut tell you?” I said.

Just a hint of a smile at the corner of Devin’s mouth. She pressed her fingers against her forehead and moved her eyes over me. Her pupils widened as she had a physical reaction to what she was seeing. So was I. God, she was sexy as hell natural like this. With her guard down a little. Not a stitch of make-up. She never wore it much as far as I could see. But she had flawless pale skin like she’d wisely stayed out of the sun. I could see the faint outlines of her nipples against the thin cotton of her tank top and I did my level best not to let her see me looking. She had perfect, round breasts and I wanted to touch her there. Feel her pulse quicken and gooseflesh rise all over her body when I put the whisper of a kiss on her neck, just below her earlobe. I bet she tasted like honey.

“My gut tells me you’re dangerous, but not in the way somebody like my Uncle Cy might think.” Great, so now I was on Cy’s radar. I’d have to tread even more carefully over the next few days. Devin reached for me, grew bold and traced the outline of the angel’s wings along my right bicep stretching up to my shoulder. So Devin made
my
pulse quicken and gooseflesh rise all over my body.

“You lost someone,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. It wasn’t a question, but a simple acknowledgment. For some reason, that made me feel ready to tell her. At least a little.

“Let’s just say I have many angels sitting on my shoulder.” A knot twisted in my heart telling her even that much. It was a risk, but one I had to take. I told myself it was the job and only that. I needed Devin to trust me. Tell her some of my truths so she’d trust me with hers.

“Your wife? Girlfriend? Your mother?”

She was dangerous. She must have seen the flicker in my eyes. Though the wine made her bold, she was paying attention. I reached across the table and poured myself another glass. Devin didn’t take her eyes off me as I brought the glass to my lips and swallowed hard.

“Not bad,” I said. “Let’s say two out of three.”

She smiled and touched my wrist, turning it until my palm lay flat. Tiny hairs raised along her arms and I knew she felt the heat I did. “No ring,” she said. “No tanline from a ring. No wife.”

I gave her a wink and took another drink of wine. Then I leaned forward and poured the last of it into her glass.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I lost my mom too. Well, not so much lost, she kind of stopped wanting to be found.”

“Like your sister.” The minute I said it, I wanted to take it back. She stiffened her back and her face hardened like she was trying to put an invisible mask back in place.

“Car accident,” I said, using the only thing I had to try and get the real Devin back. I’d go back to giving her as much of the truth as I dared. “My mom. My dad was at the wheel. Drunk. Again. She died instantly, he lingered just long enough to sober up and understand what he’d done. So I guess there was some justice in that.”

Devin’s face fell. She kept her fingers gently curled around my forearm. “How old were you?”

I bit my lip. Here was a truth I couldn’t tell her. I was in college at the time, about to graduate. I had plans to go to law school. But something snapped in me then. Time after time, I’d tried to save my mother from my dad’s temper. His fists. Even moved into the house right across the street to try and keep an eye on her. In the end, none of it mattered. She still got into the fucking car with him. One lousy night when I wasn’t there to stop him.

“Twenty-one,” I answered. “Out of the house. I begged her to leave him a million times. She never would.”

“I’m sorry. That had to be tough. I mean … I
know
it was. Let’s just say I have some experience with that too.”

It felt like my whole body had turned to stone except where her fingers rested against my flesh. She got more out of me in the space of ten minutes than most people did who knew me for years. She couldn’t know the rest of the story though. The rage I felt, the helplessness. I knew it’s why I became a cop in the first place instead of a lawyer. In some ways, I was still trying to save my mother and every woman like her. And yet, here I sat across from another woman who was starting to matter to me. One way or another, I might be the one to rip her world apart.

“My dad,” she said. “Actually, both my parents. It’s just my dad’s the one who stuck around. As much as he could, anyway.”

“How’d he die?” She hadn’t told me he had, but I could see it in her eyes.

She smiled a little and brought her hand back into her lap. “Wore his liver out. If he could have quit, he might have been able to get a transplant. But he wasn’t strong enough. I’ve always kind of blamed my mom for that. If she’d still been in the picture, maybe he would have felt like he had more to fight for.”

“You don’t think you were enough?”

She blinked hard and I knew I’d hit a nerve. I hadn’t meant to, but it killed me to see that hurt in her eyes when she talked about her old man. Of
course
she had to feel like he quit on her. She didn’t deserve it. A huge part of me wished I’d known her then. Maybe she could have used another friend. I smiled inside. There I go again. Looking for another damsel to save even though this one never fucking asked.

“I was fourteen. I understand it better now. And it’s not something that keeps me up at night, you know? Not anymore. I survived it.” She paused for a second and her eyes slowly lifted until she was looking me dead on, unflinching. “Looks like we both did.”

I nodded and smiled. “You bet your ass we did.”

“And this,” she said, bringing her hand back up, she rested it flat against my chest over an old scar just below my collarbone. I let a breath out, willing myself not to stiffen under her touch. A bullet wound suffered during one of the many times I’d tangled in my brother’s business affairs. A price I’d pay again to keep him safe. But, if Devin asked too many questions, my lies would have to get bigger.

“Ancient history,” I finally answered. She gave me a hint of a smile then pulled her hand away.

I finished the last of my wine and set the glass on the table. “It’s getting late. I should let you get some sleep.” I said it as an afterthought but my eye caught the clock above her stove in the kitchen. We’d been talking for an hour. I could have sat there all night. I wanted to.

Devin ran her hands along her thighs and that slow yawn came back. She nodded and we rose together.

“Thanks for the wine,” I said. “I’ll have to return the favor one of these nights. Have you over for dinner as soon as I get my place habitable.”

“I think that’s supposed to be my line,” she said. “You’re the one who’s new to the neighborhood.”

“You gave me a job. I think that puts you ahead on the hospitality score.”

We were at the door. I put my hand on the knob and turned back to her. She stood with her arms crossed in front of her looking up at me, her eyes flashing. “I’m glad,” she said. “That you moved to the neighborhood, I mean. And sorry about the noise.”

“You’d better be. I’d hate to have to report you to the landlord.” This got a genuine laugh out of her. I fingered the chain on the door. “Though I’m guessing that wouldn’t do me a lot of good.”

She shrugged. “Probably not.”

“I’ll pick up some supplies from the hardware store before work and how about I come back tomorrow morning to fix this weak-ass shit once and for all?”

A beat passed between us. Two. I took a step forward, meaning to turn on my heel and walk out the door. It put me a fraction of an inch closer to her and Devin went up on her tiptoes. She made the first move. I could have turned and let the moment pass, but I didn’t. Dammit, I should have. I know it. She was the job. I couldn’t afford to lose sight of that. But when she put her hands on my bare chest and tilted her head, fire lit inside of me. Her lips were firm and soft all at once. I could have held back. Made it into something chaste. Something both of us could walk back an instant later. We’d talked. We were friendly. But that was one last lie I didn’t have the strength to tell in that instant.

She was molten lava beneath my lips. Hot and sweet. She angled her head and I slid my hand around her waist, pulling her closer to me. The feel of her firm nipples against my bare chest with only that thin cotton between us nearly drove me to my knees in front of her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her. Worship her. Spread her thighs before me and find out once and for all whether she tasted sweet as honey everywhere. Her lips sure did.

Devin let out a little gasp that damn near undid me. But just as she was the one to make the first move, she was also the one to move away. She took a staggering step backward and brought the back of her hand to her swollen lips. Her skin flushed where I touched her. A thundering pulse traveled straight between my legs. She had me hard and burning for her. If she looked down, she’d see it. I gripped the doorknob so tight I felt like I might crush it to powder. Anything to keep my simmering lust in check. I wanted her just about as bad as I’d ever wanted any woman. But a kiss was one thing. If I took it a step further, I couldn’t walk that back.

“Shit,” she said. “Oh shit.”

I couldn’t help but bark out a laugh. “That bad, was it?”

“No. It’s just. Crap. You work for me.”

I laughed harder. “Relax. I probably won’t sue you.”

“Oh God. Can we just. Rewind?”

“We can do anything you want, Devin.” It took Herculean self-control on my part not to lean down and kiss her senseless again. Now that she’d given me just that little taste, she had my hormones in overdrive and I wanted so much more. I wanted everything I knew I couldn’t have where she was concerned.

“See you tomorrow,” she said, blushing deep.

I gave her a salute and managed to keep my hand steady. My whole body thrummed with desire and I needed to get the hell out of there fast. If she touched me one more time, gave me any indication that she didn’t really want me to go, I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough to say no.

“See you tomorrow. Boss.” It was a cheap shot but I couldn’t resist. I was beginning to love seeing that heated blush color her cheeks and points lower down. But that was dangerous as hell for both of us. So I did the one thing I wanted least of all. I gave her one last wink, then turned my back on Devin and walked away.

D
evin

God, I felt like some high-school girl after I arrived at the bar the next day. My heart quickened when I heard Jase’s voice in the back of the kitchen as he greeted Floyd on the way in. He was here. In the same building. I found myself trying to come up with a reason to go back to the kitchen to be near him.

I crashed my head against my desk and buried myself in spreadsheets. This was bad. Disastrous. A distraction I bloody well didn’t need. We were taking a chance on a new band tonight.
The HolyRocks
canceled on me at the last minute. Some bullshit line about how the lead singer had the flu. I knew better. The guy had shown up here plenty of nights glassy-eyed and twitchy. I just hoped he could pull his shit together and cool it with whatever dope he took. This was bad for business. Just like Bella. I wasn’t naïve. This was a club. Of
course
there was an element. I couldn’t control what the patrons did, but I could damn sure keep it off the premises and my people clean. Otherwise, this could become seriously bad juju.

Just like jumping on one of my employees was bad for business. What the hell had I been thinking? I’d come so close to pulling Jase back into my apartment last night and giving into lust more powerful than I’d ever felt. That wasn’t me. I wasn’t that girl. I’d had exactly two boyfriends my entire dating life and only slept with one of them. A staggering disappointment. I wasn’t a prude, but I had bigger plans. No time for romantic drama or losers.

Everything about Jase Randall screamed bad idea. A man with no past. Swirling ink and swagger. And the scar on his chest. Every instinct in my head told me he’d gotten it through violence. A gunshot wound probably. Half the lines he fed me about how he ended up in Lincolnshire sounded like complete bullshit. But the parts that seemed true tugged at me. Losing his parents like that must have gutted him. I found myself wishing I’d known him then. Simmering heat coursed through me at the thought of pulling him close and holding him through the worst of it. God. Just what I needed. Another lost boy. More like lost cause. And for all I knew, Northpointe was just another stop on whatever shiftless existence he had.

On impulse, I picked up the phone and dialed Uncle Cy. On the second ring, I almost hung up, but he’d see the Caller ID anyway. Plus, shitty as it made me feel, I had to know.

“Hey, Dev. Everything okay?” he said, his gravelly voice shouting over some type of machine. A jackhammer probably. Uncle Cy had just broken ground on a new sports complex on the edge of town.

“Good! I’m good. Sorry if this is a bad time. You can call me back later.”

“No bad time where you’re concerned, babe. What’s up?”

I bit my lip. Again, this felt like some kind of betrayal. But I had to know. “Nothing major. I just wanted to follow up on our conversation. Were you able to find anything more out about that dishwasher I hired? Jason Randall?”

The background noises faded. Uncle Cy must have moved inside or away from the machinery. “Is there some problem? Has he done something?”

“Oh. No. Actually, the opposite. He’s working out great and I was even thinking of having Boomer train him for the floor.” I squeezed my eyes shut and gritted my teeth. Now I was lying to both of them.

“Hmm. Well, I got an email this morning from my guy. Nothing really bad to report. Yet. Still really preliminary.”

I didn’t like the tone in Uncle Cy’s voice and my heart skipped a beat. Great. Just my luck. Jase was probably a serial killer or something.

“But what?”

“Honey, just hold off, okay? Let him be a dishwasher for a little while longer. Or nothing at all if you’ve got a vibe. This is exactly why I need you to talk to me first before you bring anyone new into that place.”

“But you just said there’s nothing bad to report. What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing, honey. Nothing. Don’t worry about it. My guy just wants a little more time to get the job done.”

My mouth went dry. It sounded like the same runaround Uncle Cy gave me every time I asked about Mandy. Like there was some bigger piece of information he held back.

“Okay. So I’ll maintain the status quo for now. But you promise you’ll give me a call the second you find anything out? Good, bad, or indifferent? I mean … on
all
of the stuff you’re looking into for me?”

He sighed into the phone and I could just imagine the look on his face. Grim, irritated, pained. “Yes, babe. Have I ever let you down?”

The truth was, he hadn’t. He’d been overbearing, meddlesome, sometimes downright disapproving, but he always did exactly what he said he would even if I didn’t like or agree with it. And that was a rarity for the men in my life.

“Thanks, Uncle Cy. I mean it.”

“Hang in there, Sissy. You’re doing a great job.”

My body froze at the nickname. He didn’t use it often. It was the only thing my parents or Mandy ever called me. My throat felt thick with emotion and I squeezed my hands around the phone. I shut my eyes tight and blinked back tears. I couldn’t afford them now. I couldn’t afford to get sucked back into sadness over all the people who’d let me down and left me. I didn’t have an affectionate relationship with my uncle and probably never would. But it mattered that he was the last man standing and so was I.

“Talk to you soon,” I said. I couldn’t tell him I loved him. It would break me. And it wasn’t us.

“Count on it,” he said then ended the call.

I brushed a hair out of my eyes and stiffened my back. I had just enough time to rein my emotions back in when the door to my office opened a crack after a firm knock. Jase poked his head inside and got my heart racing again. My skin heated along my neck and I knew a slow blush colored my cheeks. It was as much about my conversation with Cy as the sight of Jase, but there it was.

Jase cleared his throat and stepped into the room. He wore black motorcycle boots, those sexy, weathered jeans and a white tee shirt that stretched over hard muscles. “You okay?” his eyes narrowed. God, he didn’t miss anything. I forced a smile and waved him in.

“All good. Just checking through orders for the week.”

He nodded and came toward me. “Just wanted to let you know your new band is here and getting set up.”

I spread my fingers on the edge of the desk and pushed myself up. Only the desk separated us but I swear I could feel the heat shimmering off him in waves. Everything I said to Cy went straight out of my head. In its place, a slow burn started deep in my chest and spread lower down. This man affected me physically. Pure and simple. I had to get a handle on it before I did something I’d regret.

“Thanks.”

“Are they the ones from last night?” he asked.

“What? Oh. Right. Sorry about that … still. Actually, yes. They were able to get here on short notice.” I stopped myself short of explaining what happened with
The HolyRocks
. For some reason, I worried Jase might judge. He’d had a front-row seat to Bella’s drama and I didn’t want him to think that’s the kind of place I ran. Even though he’d been here long enough now to have a different opinion.

“Good. Maybe I can learn to appreciate them better.”

I smiled and an awkward silence rose between us. In that moment, I had a decision to make. Do I ignore what almost happened between us last night, or do I face it head on? Pretending like nothing happened didn’t seem tenable. I took a breath and stepped around the desk. Jase towered over me and I found myself drinking in every detail of his face again. It was easier on my nerves than looking at his body. He had just the hint of silver threaded through the dark hair at his temples. He arched a heavy black brow and his eyes sparked through those thick lashes. God, he could have been a pirate in a former life. Sultry and dangerous but sexy as hell.

“Look. I just wanted to … thanks for being cool about last night. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. It’s easy to just say I had too much wine. And I did. But ugh. I don’t know. It had just been a long day and you were being so nice to me. Plus, you look like … well ... you. I got a little carried away and I’m sorry. Again … just … thanks for being decent about it.”

My mouth seemed powered by a motor. A bunch of other awkward apologies dribbled from my lips before Jase finally cocked his head, shot me a devastatingly sexy smile, and put his hands on my shoulders. Fire seemed to shoot from his fingertips and set my nerve endings ablaze. It took everything in me not to do just what I did last night and reach up to kiss him. Luckily, I had more sense than before and kept my feet firmly planted on the ground.

“Devin,” he said after taking a deep breath. “Relax. We’re on the same page. We’re also both fully consenting adults. I’m not going to stand here and pretend I really,
really
didn’t mind kissing you. But I’m a sensible man and I’m not looking to screw anything up here either. We had a moment. It’s cool. Let’s not talk it to death.”

“Right.” I took an awkward step backward and out of Jase’s arms. I wanted nothing more than to slide right back into them. Shit. This was worse than I thought. “And again, thank you for not being a dick.”

“Not a problem. I don’t always succeed at that so I’ll take it as the true compliment I know it was.”

I crossed my arms in front of me and gave him a weak smile. “I don’t do that a lot, you know.”

“Give compliments? Well, then I
really
appreciate it.”

“No. No. I mean … I don’t throw myself at guys a lot. I mean ever. It’s just, well, a complication I don’t need. You know? I just didn’t want to give you the impression that I’m something other than what I am.”

Jase leaned against the desk. His look was half amusement, half smolder, and all infuriating. He crossed his arms in front of him and made little figure eights with his head as I kept on talking. God. This wasn’t
me.
This guy had me all tied up in knots. Maybe the stress of club business was getting to me more than I realized.

“Devin,” he said, finally putting his palm up in a stopping gesture. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“When’s the last time you took a day off?”

The room grew so silent I swear I could hear myself blinking. “A day off? I don’t. I run this place.”

“Not even on Sundays?”

“I … what? I’m not proud of it, but I don’t really go to church, Jase.”

He smiled. “I’m not asking about your religious preferences, Devin. I’m asking about your mental health. I think you’re letting this place drive you into the ground. Now that we’ve established what we
can’t
be to each other, I was kind of hoping maybe we could be friends. I’m thinking you could use some. And
as
your friend, I think you’re wound a little tight. That’s all I’m saying.”

I opened my mouth to say something but felt the build of another rush of words that would make his head spin again. I clamped my mouth shut and pursed my lips together. The second I did it, he laughed.

“What?” I didn’t like being mocked.

He broke into a full-throated laugh that sent vibrating heat straight through me. God, I loved the sound of it. Wicked and dark like strong whiskey. When I blinked, my mind flashed to a vision of Jase standing in front of me stark naked and pulling me close.

“I’m not laughing at you,” he said, putting a hand up in surrender. “Honest. I’m not. I like you like this. It’s a side I’m guessing you don’t show to too many people. Off guard. Not in control.”

“Yeah? Well, I don’t like it one bit. I’m sorry. Again. Can we just go back to twenty-four hours ago? You work for me. You’re good at your job. We’re friendly but I don’t need any more friends, Jase.”

His face fell, and I instantly regretted sounding bitchy. I had no choice. I had to figure out a way to put the toothpaste back in the tube as far as my relationship with him. There couldn’t
be
a relationship with him. Every warning bell in me clanged loud along with the simmering desire he brought out in me.

“All right, then,” he finally said, pushing himself up off the edge of the desk. He towered over me again. His face was kind but held a twinkle of mischief at the creased corners of those pirate eyes of his. “And I promise not to try and kiss you again.”

“Thank you,” I said, even though we both knew I was the one who started it last night. “I appreciate your professionalism and I’ll make sure to keep mine in check too.”

Something dark flashed in his eyes. Just like last night, he made a move to leave the room but stopped himself. He took a step forward, invading my personal space in the most delicious way. “Well, that’s probably a good idea. But just so you know, it’s not just professionalism keeping me from kissing you again.”

“Oh?”

He shot me that rakish smile and leaned in close. “Oh, it’s a little bit of that. But it’s more knowing that if there’s a next time, we won’t just stop at kissing.”

Electricity shot through me and heated my core. I gasped and clamped my mouth shut again as he gave me a wink and turned to leave.