Vicious Circles (17 page)

“But this whole act with Col in upset him – I could tel . And then the hickey…”

“Bite mark,” I corrected.

She rol ed her eyes. “Whatever. Wel , tel me the truth, Bailey – did you sleep with him?” I wouldn’t lie. I had to tel her the truth and get it out of the way. There was no way in hel we’d be able to fix our friendship if I lied to her. “Yes, I did.” She scowled and flopped back into the sofa. She pinched the bridge of her nose as if stopping it from bleeding. “Does Spencer know?” I snorted. “I’d think you’d know that before me.”

She opened her eyes and glared. “That’s not funny.”

“Didn’t mean it to be,” I said in a firm voice. “I don’t know if he knows. I just figured if he did, he would have told you. He’s obviously been confiding in you.”

“He hasn’t mentioned it,” she said.

“Both me and Col in agreed that he shouldn’t know right now,” I said.

“I’m not tel ing him,” she snapped.

I softened. “You real y love him, don’t you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said and ducked her head. “Not now.” I chuckled and gained a confused look from Morgan. “Irelyn thought you were in love with Col in. She even convinced me you were.” She straightened as her brows dipped over her eyes. “You thought I was in love with Col in?” I nodded. She scooted to the edge of the sofa as understanding then hurt flamed in her eyes. “And you stil slept with him?”

My heart freaked and pounded furiously as though trying to knock some sense into me. It needn’t have worried – I realized how stupid I was to open my mouth. “Hey, I didn’t know you were in love with him – Irelyn told me the next day.” Her lips pul ed into a thoughtful frown as she slowly nodded. “So, that was the first time?”

“I…” I said as I gawked at her open-mouthed.

“But you slept with him the night before Steffi’s party, didn’t you? When you bit him.” She cocked her head and waited for my answer.

I blew a long breath of air. “Yeah.”

She jumped to her feet. “Damn it, Bailey. How could you do that?”

“Hang on,” I said as I, too, stood. “You don’t love him – you just said so.”

“That is total y beside the point! You didn’t know that. You thought I was in love with him and you still slept with him! How could you do that?” My head was spinning wild circles. I could see exactly what she meant but then I couldn’t. I was at a total loss for words and at a loss for what to do. “Morg…”

“Save it!” she screamed as she stormed across the room. “Just…ugh!” She jerked the door open and let it slam behind her.

I sank into the chair, my hangover headache reappearing with a vengeance. What the hel was I going to do now?

Chapter Thirteen

I mul ed the argument with Morgan for the next few days - especial y while I sat in the lifeguard chair and watched over the pool. Yes, I knew I had been wrong to sleep with Col in when I thought Morgan was in love with him but she was blowing things entirely out of proportion.

I tried to sort things out and find a place to put them al so maybe I could be better prepared when I next had the chance to speak to her, but I was failing miserably.

And Morgan was total y avoiding me. She came and went while I was gone and didn’t sleep in her bed. I wasn’t sure where she was staying and I couldn’t even cal Irelyn to ask if she knew.

Life was definitely a bitch.

And to top it al off, I hadn’t heard from Col in since he'd cal ed Monday night to see how I was feeling and if things were better with Morgan. I’d given him an edited version of the argument – doing what I could to keep him from feeling like he needed to be involved. But once that conversation had ended, it was like he’d dropped off the face of the earth. Maybe he was tired of al the drama. I certainly was.

I was grateful for Otis’s company for I’d have been extremely lonely in that condo by myself. I rained affection on him and took him with me wherever I went. He seemed to be the only friend I had left.

Thursday afternoon, I took Otis to the local dog park and watched him romp with the other dogs while I enjoyed the shade of a huge oak tree.

My eyes glazed over as I stared out into the enclosure and contemplated – again –

what to do. I briefly entertained the notion of cal ing Spencer and sitting him down for a nice little chat. Maybe if I straightened things out with him – gave him a little closure – maybe he’d take Morgan out.

I bent to rest my elbows on my knees and cradled my head in my hands. I couldn’t force Spencer to love Morgan any more than I could force Col in to love me. What a sad, sil y, pathetic mess this whole situation had become. What the hel was going on, anyway?

I sat back to tick points off my finger, not caring if the other dog lovers thought me strange. They could al bite my ass.

The first tick was Morgan. She loved Spencer. But, enter second tick, Spencer loved me. Then, thirdly, me – I loved Col in. And fourth, Col in. He loved Tori.

Possibly. I wasn’t total y sure about that at al . How could he wil ingly sleep with me if he loved another? Col in didn’t work that way. At least, I didn’t think so. Maybe he didn’t love me, but I was beginning to wonder if he loved Tori.

I groaned and grabbed the leash that I’d dropped to the bench beside me. I wasn’t solving anything here at al . I whistled for Otis and smiled when he lifted his head, pricked his ears, and happily loped over to me. I clipped the leash on his col ar and led him out of the fence. He trotted beside me as we made our way back to the condo.

***

Morgan was once again sitting on the sofa when we returned. I nearly fel back out the door – almost as if she was some kind of spirit that had come to haunt me – but I managed to compose myself and unclip Otis. He ran to her and she greeted him warmly. I hung the leash on the handle of the coat closet, kicked off my flip flops, and sank to my favorite chair. “What’s up, Morgan?” I asked in a cool voice.

“Haven’t seen you al week.”

“I’ve been around,” she said, straightening as she watched Otis trot to the kitchen for a drink.

“Around where?” I inquired.

“I’m moving out, Bailey,” she said stiffly. “I’m renting an apartment above the bookstore.” I blanched as my insides iced over and briefly stopped the flow of blood to my brain. I scrambled to think – to speak. “What?” was al I could manage.

“I’m leaving,” she said, her confidence growing at the lack of mine. “I’ve already moved a lot of my things and I just came back to get the rest and to let you know.”

“That’s real y crappy,” I said. Her astonished eyes grew as she gaped at me. My voice returned and I wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to use it. “We have an argument and you just up and leave? You run? Why not stick around and try to settle it, huh?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” she muttered.

“So make me,” I demanded. “Make me understand. Don’t be a coward, Morgan –

you’re better than that.” She shook her head. “No, I am the coward. I’m not like you.”

“Don’t start that,” I said.

“I’m not starting anything. This is more about me than it is about you.” Her words made no sense whatsoever. “That’s sort of funny, Morg, when just the other day you were screaming at me for being a whore.”

“No!” she said as she covered her mouth. “No. I didn’t say that.”

“Whatever. That’s neither here or there. Why are you moving? The truth.”

“I told you – you wouldn’t understand,” she insisted.

The door opened and Irelyn stepped shyly inside. She flashed me a weak smile as she shut the door and shifted nervously from foot to foot.

“Hey, Irelyn,” I said in a sarcastical y cheerful voice. “Come in and join the fray.”

“Fray?” she asked as a crease furrowed her brow. “What’s going on here?”

“Morgan is leaving,” I said sweeping my hand toward the sofa in a grand gesture.

“She no longer sees fit to live with me. Apparently she can’t stand the sight of me anymore.”

“That’s not true,” Morgan objected. “It’s just that…wel …it’s hard to live here now.”

“Why?” Irelyn asked as she sat gingerly next to Morgan. “What’s the matter?” Morgan nibbled on her lip and laced her fingers together on her lap. She crossed her ankles, uncrossed them, and then crossed them again.

She glanced at Irelyn then dropped her eyes. “It’s personal.”

“And we’re al friends here,” Irelyn said, wrapping an arm around Morgan’s shoulders. “Tel us.”

“I don’t fit in with you two,” Morgan blurted.

I bolted upright, ready to rage. What the hel was she thinking? “What?”

“Hang on, Bailey,” Irelyn said, holding up a hand. She turned to Morgan and gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. “What do you mean you don’t fit in?” Morgan shook Irelyn’s arm off and stood so she could pace, wringing her hands the entire time. A flush invaded her face and made her look so innocent and vulnerable it actual y tugged at my heart.

“You two are so different from me,” she explained lamely. “I’m not like you. I don’t…

do the things you two do.”

“What the hel is that supposed to mean?” I demanded.

“I don’t mean it in a bad way,” she said. “I just don’t relax the way you do.”

“So, because Bailey and I have…wel , we’ve engaged in sex without being in a proper relationship, that makes you total y different from us?” Irelyn said. I could see the struggle on her face to remain calm.

“Something like that,” she mumbled. “You two have so much in common.”

“So what you’re saying is that Irelyn and I are a couple of whores and you’re not,” I said, angry.

“Bailey,” Irelyn said, shooting me a look.

I ignored it. I was stil mad at her, too, and even though Morgan lumped me and Irelyn together, it didn’t automatical y make us best friends again. “No, Irelyn, I want her to explain. Maybe we’re not as moral as she is but that doesn’t make us bad people.”

“Bailey,” Morgan said, astounded. “How can you stand there and say that?”

“Easy,” I snorted as I narrowed my eyes and took a few steps toward her. “I opened my mouth and let the words fal out.” But Morgan didn’t back down. She jabbed a finger at me. “See? That’s what I mean. You don’t care about my feelings at al .”

“Of course I do,” I said, my loose grip on composure slipping through my fingers.

“Do you know how much guilt I’ve eaten because of you?”

“Apparently not enough,” Morgan spit back, final y realizing she had a spine. “You slept with Col in after you found out I was in love with him.

Wel , supposedly in love with him.”

“Oh, damn,” Irelyn cursed, massaging her forehead. She lifted her eyes to meet mine. “You told her?” I shrugged. “She figured it out. But relax, she’s in love with Spencer – not Col in.” Irelyn’s eyes grew to the size of hubcaps. “Real y? Oh wow. I didn’t see that. Wel , that makes things easier.”

“The hel it does,” Morgan argued. “Don’t you see, Irelyn? You two thought I was in love with Col in and Bailey stil slept with him. After she found out that I was supposedly in love with him! She didn’t care how I’d feel. She gave no thought to me whatsoever.”

“But, Morgan,” Irelyn said. “Okay, I can sort of see what you’re saying, but what does it matter now? You don’t love Col in.”

“It’s the principle of the thing. What if I had been in love with Col in? Can you imagine how I’d feel? Betrayed by my best friend.”

“She’s in love with him, too!” Irelyn exclaimed. “And I know what it’s like. I know how hard it is to deny those feelings. They make you unable to resist. You just want to be with him al the time – no matter who gets hurt. That love is so strong that you’l move heaven and earth to be with him.” I had to grin at Irelyn – she final y got it.

She final y had some sense knocked into her blonde head and realized that I felt for Col in like she did Lucas. Oh, I was stil angry with her but she was trying to apologize to me in a way she knew I would approve – I hated sappy make up scenes.

“I knew you’d take her side,” Morgan snipped. “I just knew it. You two always have it so easy – beautiful Irelyn and sexy Bailey who have men fal ing at their feet. You two can laugh and bond over al this while plain, quiet Morgan sits in the corner and laps it al up knowing it wil never happen to her. But you two don’t care. No, not at al

. But when you need someone to talk to or someone to listen to you vent, then you cal dependable Morgan who wil listen and try to offer advice. But do you take it?

Hel no! Because Morgan’s advice is moral and you two would rather deal with it in your own way.”

She drew a long, hard breath, her body shuddering. I could see the tears gathering in her eyes and sure enough, a couple tumbled to her cheeks. My heart ached for her.

“I don’t fit in,” she said, her voice quite a few octaves lower. She swiped angrily at her tears and picked up the bag she’d placed near the door.

She slipped the strap over her shoulder. “I’m sorry.” She walked out before Irelyn or I could think to stop her.

“What…” Irelyn stammered. “What the hel just happened here?”

“Got me,” I said as I got up to go the kitchen. I grabbed two bottles of water and returned to the living room. I handed one to Irelyn before I sat in my chair and twisted off the top. “She’s a little emotional.”

“What happened?” Irelyn asked. She fiddled with the cap of her bottle but didn’t remove it. The bottle shook slightly in her hands.

“She told me that she wasn’t in love with Col in that she was, in fact, in love with Spencer.” I paused to gauge Irelyn’s reaction and I wasn’t disappointed. “And, Spencer’s been talking to her. I guess she must have said something about the two of them and he told her that he couldn’t be with her because of me.”

“Damn,” Irelyn muttered. “Damn.”

“Yeah,” I shrugged like I didn’t care when in fact I actual y did. A little too much.

“Then, when she gril ed me about Col in I admitted everything.

But, I let it slip that we thought she was in love with Col in and she went bal istic when she found out I'd slept with him after the fact.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Irelyn said.

“So, I get the Worst Friend of the Year award,” I said.

“Bailey,” Irelyn pleaded. “No. I should get that. I’m real y sorry about the other day.