Villain School (7 page)

“There's a switch?” Wolf asked.

Beside him, Dodge pulled out the blueprint,
examined it for a moment, then pointed at the paper and said, “Oh yeah!”

When he saw our faces he added, “Oh. Sorry.”

“Okay, boys. Off to bed now!” said Stiltskin.

We thanked him and ran all the way back to our rooms, grateful to have gotten off so easily.

“What was that all about?” I asked Dodge as soon as the door closed behind us. Wolf had gone back to his own room.

“Sorry, I didn't see there was a switch until Stiltskin pointed it out,” he said, pulling off his boots.

“No, I mean before that.”

“Before?” he asked, changing into his pajamas. What? Villains can't wear pajamas?

“All that poking around in Ileana's room.” I put on my own PJs.

“Oh.” He looked away from me. “I just thought since we were there, I might as well snoop a little.”

“And? Did you find anything?”

“Um, just this,” he said, holding out a book and grinning.

“What's that?” I asked, taking the book from him. It was Ileana's diary.

“Wicked!” I said. We flipped through and read a few pages. When we couldn't keep our eyes open any longer, we fell asleep.

When I woke up, Dodge was gone. I figured I must've overslept again. Quickly, I dressed and dashed down to the cafeteria cave. Ileana was already there eating breakfast, and Wolf was in line getting his, but I didn't see Dodge.

“Well?” Ileana asked as Wolf and I sat down next to her.

“What?” I asked.

The princess glared at me. She was wearing pink today and stuck out like a flamingo in a litter of cat-a-bats. Nobody would dare tease her, though. After she'd hexed a few bullies, most of the kids had learned Ileana was not a villain to mess with.

“Oh. I'm sorry for breaking into your room,” I said, shoving a big spoonful of Dreary-Os into my mouth.

“I thought villains didn't apologize,” Wolf said with a smile.

“Shut it.” I jabbed him with my elbow and grinned.

“I wasn't looking for an apology. I was looking for a certain stolen item. So?” asked Ileana.

I sighed and reached into my cloak and handed Ileana her diary back. She looked surprised, took it, and said, “Where is it, Rune?”

“Where's what?” I asked, confused.

I started to think she was really mad at me or something. I exchanged glances with Wolf, but his ears
were standing straight up and his doggy eyes were round and clueless.

“You
know
what!” she leaned forward, her blond curls falling over her shoulders as she poked me in the chest with her finger.

“No, I don't!”

“Oh, I suppose it was just a coincidence that you broke into my room last night, and now Master Dreadthorn's crystal just
happens
to be missing? It's not funny, Rune!”

Wolf and I exchanged another confused glance.

“But—but we didn't take it!” I said.

“That's right,” Wolf said. “You were talking to us the whole time we were there.”

The princess narrowed her eyes at us.

Wolf flinched away and began lapping noisily at his milk.

I tried to look innocent. And even though I
was
innocent, I felt like I looked guilty. Then I realized trying to look
too
innocent might just make me look guiltier. I started to squirm and sweat a little.

“You look guilty,” Ileana said.

Cat-a-bats!

“I knew you were a villain,” Ileana said, getting up to dump her breakfast tray, “but I didn't know you were a jerk, too! And to think I was trying to help you!”

“Hey, wait!” I said, but Ileana just stuck her tongue out at me and stormed off to class.

“Did you take the crystal?” I asked. “Come on. Fess up.”

“Not me,” Wolf Junior said. “I was with you the whole time. How'd you snag her diary?”

“I didn't. Dodge did,” I said.

“He must've taken the crystal, too.”

“Yeah!” I said. “Where is he, anyway?” I looked around the cave, but Dodge was nowhere to be found.

“I haven't seen him,” said Wolf.

“Great. Ileana left. Jez is gone. We can't find Dodge. Who else could go missing?”

“Attention, students,” a familiar fake British accent came over the intercom. “I'm dreadfully sorry to announce that Master Dreadthorn cannot be found. If anyone knows anything about his whereabouts, please report it to your new principal, me, Mistress Morgana. I will be taking over command of the school for Master Dreadthorn until he can be located.”

“What!” I shouted.

“She's behind this. I don't know how or what's going on, but I know she did something,” I said.

Wolf and I left the cafeteria cave in a daze. I wanted to find Dodge, to ask him about whether he'd stolen the crystal ball from the princess's room. And why. Not that I didn't approve, but I was
not
going to take the blame for it. More importantly, though, I wanted to know why my dad was missing and why Mistress Morgana was suddenly taking over the school.

“Morgana?” asked Wolf. “What do you think she did? Buried your dad in a shallow grave?”

“I wouldn't put it past her. Something is going on. I can almost piece it together. Something about Morgana and my dad's crystal ball and Dodge VonDoe.
VonDoe.
”

Something about his name was nagging me, but I
didn't know why. Just then Ileana almost ran us over in the hallway.

“Rune! I'm so glad I found you! Did you hear the announcement?”

“Duh,” I said. “So, you're forgiving me now or what?”

Princesses are so flighty.

“It was Dodge!” she said, pulling out a newsparchment. I recognized it as the one we'd all been reading, the one with Doctor Do-Good on the front page.

“Yeah, I think so, too. Although why he stole the crystal, I don't know. Morgana did tell him to be more villainous while he was here, and—”

“No, you numbskull!” She smacked me on the head with the newsparchment.

A couple of troll Crooks walked by and looked at us funny and Ileana lowered her voice.

“We have to talk,” she said. “Somewhere private. Just us. Not Dodge. Meet me in the Prophecy Cave after next class!”

Then she dashed off down the hallway.

“What was that all about?” Wolf asked.

“Guess we'll find out after next class,” I said, wondering why we didn't just skip class and talk now.

Wolf left, and I was just wrestling with the idea of going and confronting Morgana myself when I was nearly run over by another girl.

“What is up with—Jez!” I said. I couldn't believe it.
There she was standing right in front of me. She looked kind of crumpled, like maybe she'd slept in her clothes. She was even paler than usual and she seemed a bit frantic.

“Rune!” she said, grabbing my shoulders. “I'm so glad I found you. Listen, we have to talk. There isn't much time. If she finds me—Hey! Where are you going?”

I had sidestepped Jezebel and was making my way down the hall to class.

“Rune? Rune!”

“I'm not talking to you,” I said.

“Why not?” Jez asked, following me.

“Oh, I don't know. Let's see. Maybe because you just left without even telling me. I had to find out from my allies that you were gone. I was the last to know, and I should've been the first villain you told.”

“I'm sorry, Rune. I did try to tell you. Don't you remember? After the party in the Prophecy Cave? But you didn't give me a chance.”

“You had lots of time before then!”

“I know. I just … I didn't want … It was—” She looked to me for help, but I just folded my arms across my chest and glared at her.

“Oh, fine!” she huffed. There was a tiny
pop
as Jezebel turned into a bat and flew away.

I felt kind of bad. Not that I hurt her feelings or
anything, just, you know, that we didn't get to talk—because I had lots of insults that I didn't even get to use.

A half hour later, I was in Spelling class with Stiltskin, but my mind was on other things. I couldn't stop wondering what had happened to my dad. And Dodge. I almost wished I'd listened to Jezebel. What if she had something important to tell me?

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the classcave door. A burly man in a black hood stepped in. I recognized him as one of Morgana's headsmen.

“Yes?” wheezed Mr. Stiltskin.

The headsman pointed at me with his meaty fist.

“Rune, you're excused,” said Stiltskin.

I gulped. Gathering my books, I shoved them into my pack and warily followed the beefy headsman to my dad's study. When we got there, another monstrous man in a black hood was standing to one side of the door. The headsman who'd collected me from class knocked, then stood to the other side. I had just enough time to think they looked like oversized bookends before the door opened and out stepped Mistress Morgana, followed by a cloud of toxic perfume.

“Rune Drexler, come in,” she said, wiggling one of her long red fingernails.

I followed her inside, and the door closed behind me. As she rounded my dad's desk, I couldn't help
noticing how weird it felt to see her sitting in his place. I glanced around the room looking for some kind of clue as to where my dad might be. Everything looked the same as always. Well, mostly. In the glass case, the fake crystal ball Ileana had conjured was gone. There was another empty space in a dusty corner where Tabs usually slept. I wondered what had happened to the little cat-a-bat.

“So?” Morgana asked, pulling my attention back to her.

She was lounging in my dad's chair, fixing me with her green gaze.

“So, what?” I asked, crossing my arms defiantly. Sure, she was kind of scary, but I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of showing fear.

“What have you done with Master Dreadthorn?”

“Me?” I asked. “I was going to ask you the same question.”

“Oh, come, come, Rune! I know you've hated him for years. It's so obvious that you and your little friends have finally plotted to get rid of him.”

“Whatever,” I said. “This is your doing. You're behind all this.”

“I think you'll have a hard time proving it,” she said with an evil grin.

Ooh. Mistress Morgana was one wicked villain. I
could almost like her if she hadn't taken over my dad's school and tried to kill me last semester and … No. Never mind. I really could never like her.

“Where is Dracula's daughter? The one you call Countess Jezebel?” she asked suddenly.

“Jez?”

I remembered how frazzled Jez had looked when we'd run into each other in the hallway. She seemed scared. What had happened at Mistress Morgana's school? Was Jezebel in trouble? I decided even though I was mad at the countess, I wasn't about to betray her to the witch.

“How should I know?” I asked. “I thought she was at your snobby school.”

“Oh, but
this
is my school now, Rune. Mistress Morgana's School for Wayward Villains. Has a nice ring, don't you think?”

“No.”

“It will grow on you. I promise. Now back to class,” she said, waving me away like I was some serving boy.

“Oh, and Rune,” she said when I'd reached the door. “Don't try anything clever. I'm the Master of this school now.”

I glared at her a moment, before dashing off. I was late for my meeting with Ileana and Wolf, and we had a lot to talk about. When I got to the Great Clock, I
checked to be sure no one was looking. Then I pressed the eye of the ugly little monster that triggered the secret door. Soon I'd lit a torch and was walking down the spiral steps to the Prophecy Cave.

Princess Ileana and Wolf Junior were already there waiting for me.

“You're late,” said Ileana, tapping her pink slipper impatiently. She had her arms crossed and was holding a newsparchment in one hand.

“I got dragged into Morgana's office so she could gloat at me,” I said.

“You did?” asked Wolf, shivering from head to tail. “Lucky she let you out alive.”

“Tell me about it,” I said.

“Have you seen Dodge?” Ileana asked.

“No, he's missing. My dad is missing. Something is definitely going on,” I said.

“I know,” said Ileana. “Take a look at this.”

Wolf and I leaned closer as Ileana spread the news-parchment on the floor. There was the article again, the one about Doctor Do-Good and his son, Deven.

“So what?” Wolf asked.

“Notice anything?” asked Ileana.

We reread the article.

“It says something about Doctor Do-Good's son failing a Quest to overthrow Morgana,” Wolf said.

“Right. Now look at this. See anything else?” Ileana flipped to the photo of Doctor Do-Good and his son wearing their hero masks.

“Uh, the kid's smile is freakishly white, but other than that …,” I said.

“Look here,” said the princess.

She picked up a rock and scratched a name into the cave floor:

Deven Do-Good.

“Great job, Ileana. Resourceful use of a rock as a writing tool. Excellent penmanship. You get an A-plus for being completely useless,” I said. I was being kind of mean, but I didn't care. I was still ticked off about Morgana's snooty attitude.

Ileana glared at me and said, “Look again, Rune.”

The princess began crossing out the letters in Do-Good's name one by one and rearranging them until she'd formed a new name:

Dodge VonDoe.

“No way!” Wolf and I said at the same time.

I looked at the newsparchment again, examining the photo of Deven Do-Good more closely this time.

“See it?” Ileana asked, pointing to a tiny scar above the boy's eyebrow. “I noticed it right after breakfast. I'd gone back to my room to look again for the crystal. I felt bad yelling at you and thought maybe I'd just
misplaced it. This newsparchment was under my bed, and I don't know. Something just clicked.”