Violet Path (36 page)

The first question was addressed to Anton regarding what he believed to be the most efficient way to destroy Matthew and Tamizeh. I was shocked by how frank the question was, but I envied it—I knew all of my Community’s strengths and weaknesses, while Anton didn’t know what he was talking about. His careless answer ate me up inside, but I remained quiet.

I waited for over an hour, falling asleep, without one question addressed to me until someone had collected the courage. “Alex, how could you betray and take advantage of The Shadows to work for a sadistic dictator who destroys everything?”

I sank in my seat. I didn’t stand a chance with the question. I couldn’t explain my whole life in a matter of minutes and try to justify my choices. The question had targeted me perfectly, and I sat there dumbfounded for a few minutes, replaying the question in disbelief.

“I–I’m against Matthew as much as you are. I am not working for him. I didn’t betray The Shadows. I’m trying to help. I might have taken advantage of what was offered, but not for the reasons you claim. I warned The Shadows of Matthew’s attack. I’m on your side. I trust you to make the right decision. I trust you will see that the accusations are nothing more but words. I am only a traitor to Matthew. I never betrayed The Shadows.” I couldn’t seem to find the right words and was only digging my own grave. Soldiers rolled their eyes as I tried to defend myself, but it was useless.

There were more questions for my opponents, but I only received accusations. I wanted to disappear into the air, vanish. I did not belong here.

Slowly, the crowd diffused, and we left to get lunch and aid the injured. We ate quickly. Sam had to perform surgery on a soldier who had just walked in with an open fracture to the arm and a torn-up hip. It had been a miracle that he had made it to Oaks Valley. More soldiers trickled in with worse injuries. I couldn’t look at them. They were the proof that I was failing at eliminating Matthew.

We got a five-minute warning for our final challenge. Nick, David, Anton, and Jason changed uniforms, but didn’t wear their armor. I did not have a choice of what to wear, so I slowly made my way to the arena. I felt trapped with the horde surrounding me, observing me, judging me. We were going to have man-to-man physical combat, and everyone seemed excited.

I was first against Jason. I didn’t want to hurt him, so I let him attack. I was hit a few times before I pinned him to the white, feathery ground. He looked up at me and smiled, although his eyes revealed discontent and resentment. The throng didn’t appreciate my victory, but I hadn’t expected a different reaction.

Nick went down easily, but he didn’t even put up a fight. I had waited for him to strike, but he refused, so I had tripped him. He didn’t bother to try to beat me and gave in. I felt as if I had stolen the win, but I could only accept it.

Anton was different. He wanted to draw my blood, crush my bones, and skin me alive. He threw himself onto me in a rage. We punched, kicked, spun, and rolled. I kicked his stomach, and he flew back into the crowd, who immediately helped him to his feet. The arena expanded as soldiers took steps back to give us more space. Anton launched himself into the air to pin me down. I quickly pushed him off, and we exchanged strikes at close range. We started to wrestle, and I was able to throw him back when he let go of my shoulders. He kicked my sternum, and I went flying into the mass of soldiers, then hit the frozen ground. My spine felt like it had shattered, and my head whipped back onto the hardening ice. I turned onto my stomach in pain, whimpering as tears trickled down my cheeks. I hadn’t taken such a strong hit in a long time, and it had cost me.

Anton pulled me up by my hair and threw me into a tree. He threw a wild punch, and I just barely caught his wrist, twisted it with all the energy I had, and he fell to his knees. Anton kicked my knee, and I collapsed onto the ice once more. Before he could attack again, I heard a yell ordering us to stop.

Sam stepped forward from the crowd. In my heart I thanked him deeply for having saved me from another hit.

“I ask for a break,” Sam pleaded.

Enraged, Anton pushed Sam, cursing at him. Sam didn’t react until Anton ceased shouting.

“If not a break, then forfeit,” continued Sam. “Alex’s victory.”

Anton was furious and attempted to strike Sam, who easily blocked the attack.

“The rules are clear. When one is gravely injured, the other must stand down to ensure their comrade’s health before continuing. Alex cannot even stand unaided.” Sam was helping me, saving me.

“Comrade? Health? She could have spoken for herself. She shouldn’t be standing. Let her fight her own battles.”

“Simply give me the time to heal her, sir. That’s all I ask.”

“That’s outrageous!”

“Then forfeit.”

“You’re out of line soldier!”

“He’s right, Anton. You know the rules, and the consequences for not following them is forfeit.” David stepped up to the plate.

“You’re defending her? Your brother isn’t here because of her!”

“No, he’s not here because of Matthew, and you could have prevented the attack.”

“So you’re defending her, the enemy, simply because I didn’t take her word for granted? You’re not truly supporting her; you’re just against me. I’m sorry your brother isn’t here, but he brought her to The Shadows. It’s his fault.”

“No, it’s not!” David took an aggressive step toward Anton, but quickly paused. He looked at me as I struggled to pull myself up. “Fifteen minutes to heal her, or forfeit.” David held all the authority for those few minutes. Anton shot me an icy glare. He then stormed off cursing.

Sam and David helped lift me to my feet. I thanked them and took a deep breath, trying to exhale the pain before attempting to move. I almost fell when I tried to walk, so they supported me from both sides as we headed to Sam’s cabin. My spine was burning like a thousand heated needles were being pressed into my back.

“What hurts?” Sam asked.

“Everything,” I muttered, looking up to the sky for relief, but nothing came.

“The good news is that you’re not paralyzed if you can feel your legs; the bad news is that you have a serious spinal injury.” Sam lifted me to take the pressure off my legs.

“I could’ve figured that out! With a twig embedded in her back, it’s obvious. You’re the doctor, so fix it,” David sounded panicky.

I suddenly felt dizzy. I couldn’t imagine a stick sticking out of my back, but the agony proved that it was there. Sam told me not to think about it, but that was impossible. I went rigid, not wanting to worsen the wound, and I couldn’t bear the idea of the branch being embedded in my skin.

When we arrived at the cabin, David helped me lay on Sam’s bed facedown. Without a word, Sam got a pair of scissors and cut the back of my shirt. David helped clean the blood as Sam injected local anesthetics into my spine. The cold water burned as it mixed with the warm blood. Although they were gentle, it hurt, and I clenched my jaw to refrain from moaning as tears streamed down my cheeks. My back started to go numb, and Sam started to pull the stick out. I could feel my pulse in my stomach. Although the pain had evaporated with the drugs, I could feel the sliding of the wood as it was being pulled from my body, and I felt sick to my stomach at the thought. I gripped the sheets, trying to overpower the weird sensation that sprang up and down my spine.

“Alex! Are you all right?” Nick ran in. He looked at me for a split second before redirecting the question to Sam, who nodded and reassured us that I would be up and going in a matter of minutes. He assured me that someone would bring me a clean shirt, then ran off.

After Sam had finished, the wound was fully healed, and I slipped my shirt on as I thanked him, although I was also grateful that the S.S. Pill allowed me to recuperate so quickly. I ran back to the arena as Sam followed closely behind, patronizing me to be careful, but I shut his voice out of my head.

Anton was already waiting for me inside the ring, pacing and furious. He stared me down, but I stood straight, trying to appear strong and hiding my fear. Before resuming the fight, Sam helped me roll up my sleeves and wrapped my wrists again. Anton bowed, I mirrored him, and we started.

As I lifted my head, Anton attempted to punch me, but I moved aside. I blocked his kick with my forearms and waited patiently as he backed off to catch his breath. I wanted to tire him out before finishing him off. He hadn’t showed any mercy, so I didn’t feel compelled to do so either. Anton lunged, striking right, left, up, down, slowly, quickly, making himself unpredictable. I kept up with his every move, but with difficulty. As his frustration grew, he got sloppy. I cornered him bit by bit. His eyes gave away his fear of defeat, which only made me stronger. I hit his shoulder and knees so that he fell. I stood by him, waiting for a final stand, but none came. He looked up with his piercing eyes. His hate for me was too strong, untamed, and I couldn’t fight it.

I lifted my heavy feet and marched off with my head hanging. I wasn’t proud of anything. I had gained nothing from what I had done. Winning against Anton only made The Shadows dislike me more.

I found a quiet spot, leaned against a tree, and allowed my mind to drift off. I had to forget Matthew, Maxime, Anton, my Community . . . I couldn’t hold it all in anymore. I needed to get away and just let go. I heard the crunching of boots over the snow, then a soft tap on my shoulder.

“Alex, sir . . . um, ma’am . . . you’re supposed to face David now,” said Brandon. Although we had never spoken much, we had a silent mutual agreement that we were allies. He helped me up and escorted me back to the arena.

David smiled as we started. It was chaos. A fist to the left, a foot to the right, a high jump, a low duck, a spin, a throw . . . we were everywhere. I enjoyed the challenge. We were dancing. After blocking and dodging, he finally bent over to catch his breath, and I put my elbow against his neck to signal that the fight was over. I had won.

We went our separate ways after thanking each other for the adrenaline rush. Nick caught up to me, and I followed him back to his cabin.

His cabin was almost empty. It had a small, thin mattress in the corner of the room, a staff and two guns with ammunition in the other corner, and a change of clothes across from the door. The same blue light that had illuminated my room floated in his.

As he asked me to sit down, I realized that I didn’t have a reason for being here any longer. He read my expression and quickly did his best to explain.

“I know you pretty well now. I know that you’re very stubborn and don’t give up. I don’t care what you’re going to say, just listen. Do not try to free Andrew. It won’t work. Forget him. I know you’ve been thinking of a plan, but stop.” He paced in front of me as I recoiled from his sharp words. I couldn’t forget Maxime. I jumped to my feet, but Nick grabbed my arm.

“Listen! I don’t care how much you love that guy, you stay put! Here! No one can escape Matthew’s prison, and you know it. You’ll only get Andrew killed and yourself imprisoned,” he said.

“I ran away. I escaped.”

“That was when you only had your neck on the line, but now you have Andrew’s, The Shadows, and Maria as well. You’re running for leader. You need to think for others. Their lives are in your hands.”

I hated him for being right, but he had to be wrong. I needed to fix my mistakes and free Maxime.

I tried to pull away, but Nick didn’t let go. In a rage, I spun and kicked him. I hadn’t meant to hurt him; it had just happened. I couldn’t bring myself to help him up. I was too embarrassed and ashamed. I watched him slowly stand with his hand on his chest, gasping for air.

“Alex, I’m sorry. I understand your frustration and maybe I deserved that kick, but you need to control yourself. Think before you act. What would Matthew’s army do to what’s left of The Shadows after you break into his prison? I don’t care how or what you need to do to let go of Andrew. Kick me again if you’d like. You need to let it out, but I’m begging you not to go. You can’t handle the consequences.”

I couldn’t look at him after what I had done. I hated that Nick took the blame for my actions and pitied me. Maxime had once told me that he would destroy The Shadows if it saved my life.

“Please,” Nick repeated and took another step in my direction.

“You know how much I hate it when you’re right, and I wish I could prove you wrong,” I muttered, still avoiding his eyes. I was too frustrated to stay and ran off. He didn’t understand. No one did. I had to let out my anger, but it wasn’t their fault, it was mine.

As soon as I was alone in the forest, I punched a tree as hard as I could. It hurt, but I did it again and again and again, as tears streamed down my cheeks. Instead of hesitating after every blow, I felt drawn into it. I didn’t think, just hit. I started to kick as well, just letting go of all of my energy. Small drops of blood mixed with the melting snow at my feet. The more I hit, the more the target became clearer and took on Matthew’s shape. I screamed. The feeling of being strangled and suffocated suddenly floated away and I felt drained of everything.

“Alex!” Nick screamed.

I froze. Reflecting upon what I had just done, I felt stupid, immature, embarrassed, and I regretted it. I couldn’t face him.

“Are you all right?” he asked hesitantly.

I nodded and quickly hid my bleeding fists.

“Anton just took away your right to make a speech,” he said sincerely, as if he had forgotten what had happened a few minutes ago. “Because you’re a girl and the . . . enemy.”

Without another word, I stormed off toward the arena.

The speeches were about to start, and a huge mass of soldiers assembled. I felt tiny and insignificant, lost in the vast crowd. Regardless of my right being taken away, I sat with the other candidates. Everyone on stage was given a small sphere that was attached to the back of their necks to work like a microphone. We were all introduced, but I was cut off from the world. Their voices resonated in the still, dry winter, enchanting me, making me sleepy.

Simon walked onto the stage. “As you all know, Alexia is here. Yes, she is from the Community, but she is not one of them. She is one of us. Due to some of our outdated laws, she does not have the permission to give a speech; therefore, I feel the need to find equality and I’ll do my best to deliver one in her name. Why you are all so prejudicial with her, I understand, but it is not justified. You all know that she never chose her identity, so do not hold it against her. On the other hand, believe it or not, she has been doing her best, which is much more than expected, to help you all. Not only had she warned us of Matthew’s attack, but she is also willing to help us in destroying him. She knows him better than any of us combined. You all recall the last time a woman had military power in our village, and I understand your fear. Maria was named after her, because we still acknowledge she was important to our survival. Yes, she brought us into the Battle of Seven, and died then, but Maria also kept our village’s location a secret from Matthew. You may not be willing to listen to Alexia, so I ask you to listen to me and trust me. She has never harmed you. Thank you,” Simon’s deep voice echoed in the silence. I was shocked.