“By this time, my parents realized that what they had done was destroying life. They refused to continue working for Matthew when he asked for more biological weapons. So on my fifth birthday, he broke down the door to my house. He shot my father, but gave my mother another chance. She was holding me, and when she refused to help him, he pulled the trigger. I remember him pointing the gun at me, but he lowered it and picked me up instead. He left with me in his arms, still holding the gun. That’s when I started hating him more than anything.
“As a result, he couldn’t have his life lengthened anymore, so he had to speed up his search for an heir. He took me in as a candidate.
“At first, I didn’t understand what was happening. Soldiers and babysitters followed me around, but there was no one my own age. I was isolated from everyone. Every two weeks, I was taken to a hospital for tests and surgery. I was also trained to shoot guns and fight. When I was old enough to run away, I would roam buildings for hours. That’s how I found you.
“You were always asleep in the same room, dressed in the same white gown, with the heart monitor recording the same rhythm. I didn’t understand, but it fascinated me. Sitting on the other side of your glass door became my favorite place in the world. I tried to talk to you, but you never moved. I would tell you everything, from reciting stories or reading you books, to my dreams and what had happened day by day.
“Matthew quickly caught on and beat me for visiting you, but making him angry made me happy, so I didn’t care. It gave me more to talk to you about, and you would listen.
“After one of the surgeries, my eyes became violet like yours. After another surgery, I could recognize footsteps across the hallways. And another one allowed me to catch things before they fell. In the beginning it was scary, then cool, and then annoying. I couldn’t hear my own thoughts with my brain overworking nonstop.
“With time, I learned what was happening. You were my prototype. Whatever perfect, supernatural capability you had was researched, improved, and put into me. I hated it. I couldn’t let anesthesiologists put me to sleep, because I didn’t want to wake up with more voices in my head, counting every second, measuring every distance, recording every conversation. Matthew came up with the bright idea of performing the surgeries when I was asleep in my room, until I decided to force myself to become an insomniac. With the previous surgeries, I didn’t need much sleep, but he turned to surgery without anesthetics, and I quickly gave in.
“Finally, my blood was drained and replaced with yours, which had been slightly modified. That was the last procedure planned. Matthew gave me two days to recover then set the final test: prototype against product. I refused. I had spent years waiting for you to wake up; the years you don’t remember, those that were stolen from you. There was no way I would shoot you for Matthew’s pleasure.
“He tried to persuade me by telling me that I didn’t know you, but I had told you all of my secrets and wanted to hear your dreams. I wanted to know what one could dream about for years without having seen the world. When he ran out of patience, he locked my wrists to a chair. A needle was forced into my neck, and I crashed. When I woke up, I had this scar on my hand.
“Matthew said the ‘M’ stood for our names, and it would help me make the right decisions. Bullshit. It was the program. I might have been drugged, but after having been dehumanized into a robot, I could record conversations in my sleep, even when unconscious. Yes, Alex, I know you kissed my neck the day before my birthday. And I remember you arguing with Sam when I fainted because of the three blood transfusions. And no, my blood does not transfer any of Matthew’s procedures into whoever receives it.” Maxime paused, as if waiting for me to say something, but I was speechless.
He continued, “Anyway, like you, I ran away when I was about to turn fourteen. I met David in the forest, who was hunting with his father. My hand hadn’t healed yet, so they asked me what had happened. I told them everything, and they explained that I would have to keep everything a secret. I guess that’s why David wasn’t too fond of you at first. Last time he had met someone from Tamizeh—me—it only caused him a lot of trouble. Nevertheless, they took me to Megan, who was told half the story so she could counteract the program, but she wasn’t able to. The attempted cures made my differences more obvious, causing my eyes to change colors.
“David’s family took me in and years passed. His parents were killed, he became engaged, Alice was shot, and together we built The Shadows.
“Ever since I understood the program, I knew we needed you, because you’re the only one with the skill level and means to defeat Matthew. So David planned on getting you here. That’s why we would sneak onto H.S.H.S. sometimes. I knew you’d end up there sooner or later. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the full truth before. Yes, I was there when Matthew had briefly told you of his plans, but I wasn’t there only looking for intel. David and I would go to H.S.H.S. once a month to see if you had arrived. I guess we got incredibly lucky that day. Hearing the sirens go off at H.S.H.S. was music to our ears. I guess you know the rest of the story.”
I had so many questions running through my mind. I was upset for having been lied to and used like a tool, nothing more, but at the same time I pitied Maxime’s life. I wasn’t sure how to react, but words formed on my lips and I let them slip out, unaware of what I was asking for. “Do you know who my parents are?” I wasn’t even sure if it was a valid question or not, but I needed to ask. I couldn’t fully imagine my family, or at least I couldn’t put faces to the silhouettes I’d dreamt of. I pictured my mother with long, black curls and my father with short, coal-colored hair. They both had purple eyes, but my mother’s, for some strange reason, had a strong tint of blue.
“No, but your brother . . .” Maxime hesitated.
I was shocked. I had a sibling. I had a brother. I couldn’t imagine it. “What’s his name?” I wanted to meet him. I wanted to know everything about him. I wanted to see him, talk to him, be with him.
“Sam is your brother. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you now, but it was to protect both of you. He knows who you are, that you’re related, but I had asked him to stay quiet. I’m really sorry.” Maxime spoke faster and laid his warm hand on my thigh. “You should talk to him now. I’ll call for him, unless you’d rather not.”
My world had shattered. Nothing made any sense.
I finally spoke, “Why can’t Matthew use you again?”
“The program isn’t as efficient as planned, and I won’t be submissive to him. The attempts to cure me only divided his chances of being able to reuse me. He needs you, so be extremely careful of what he does to try to control you.”
My knees were weak. He spoke of his situation like a disease, not technology. I loved him, but I felt betrayed and expended. My loyalty was slightly wavering.
“Do you still trust me?” Maxime asked hesitantly.
I pulled my fingers through his hair and kissed him. He was intoxicating, and I couldn’t quit him. One of his hands gently caressed my neck. He became tense and pushed me back after a second.
“I’m sorry,” Maxime whispered, clutching his head.
“I trust you,” I tried to reassure him.
“Maybe you shouldn’t.”
“Maybe you should learn to trust yourself.” I was mad for what he had said. If I couldn’t trust him, I had nothing.
He stood and pressed his hand on the side of my head, fondling my cheek. I closed my eyes, absorbing his gentle gestures. He slowly leaned in and kissed me. His lips were soft and moist. I forgot where I was and escaped from reality. He picked me up and sat me on the examination table with his lips still on mine. He pounded against the wall with his fists, then launched himself back. Although his eyes were masked, his agony was apparent.
“I’m sorry. I can’t.” Maxime wouldn’t face me. He took shallower breaths as his breathing became faster. I stood up to help him, but he yelled at me to stay back. I froze in silence as my heart turned to ice-cold stone.
Sam marched in and looked at us weirdly. I couldn’t believe I was looking at my brother. My eyes wouldn’t leave him; I couldn’t blink. I scanned him from head to toe, noticing his square jaw outlined with a small scar, hardly visible beneath his chin. He had long fingers that I hadn’t paid any attention to before, and a natural side part that allowed his few curls to reach his ears. The scar across his eyebrow framed his beautiful eyes.
“Andrew, I came to see how you were doing. Megan ran into me and told me what had happened. We’re still working on getting Ryan stable, Alex. I’m truly sorry.”
“Thank you,” we replied simultaneously, and then waited for someone to break the silence.
“Alex, could you please give us two minutes? Please wait outside,” Maxime said.
I stepped outside and leaned against the cabin. People rushed by, but everything sounded calm. I wasn’t too sure of what was real or not, and I didn’t understand what was happening. The only thing I was certain of was that I loved Maxime, but I was angry with him for having kept so many secrets from me. Although he had told me a lot about my past, I felt no different; it didn’t feel real. On the other hand, I didn’t know how to act around Sam, my newfound brother.
“You have a lot to talk about,” Maxime said as he made his way out without seeing, knowing the premises by heart.
“Does David know?” I asked.
“Yes, he knows everything. He’s my left and right brain. I can’t keep anything from him, but no one else is to know. You have about ten minutes. Sam really needs to get back to the injured. I’m sorry; I know the timing is terrible. I’ll wait here.”
He held the door open for me, and I stepped inside. My heart was blowing up like a tight balloon.
“So you know?” Sam asked.
“Yes. How long have you known?”
“I had assumed you were a girl when you first arrived, and I was certain after your incident with Keith and Orion. The scan I took gave it away. When I spoke to Maxime, he filled in the holes.”
“Do you know who our parents are?”
“No, sorry,” Sam looked away. He lied; it was clear, but he had his reasons, and I wasn’t about to question them.
“So what’s your story? How did you end up here?” I wanted to know everything about him.
“Born in Tamizeh, and my interest in medicine wasn’t appreciated by Matthew, so I was able to run away before I was given the C.I. Pill. I joined Maria when I was seven. What do you remember?”
“Nothing, but Andrew filled me in.”
“Did he say anything about himself?”
“His life story. You knew?”
“I knew him in the Community. Our parents and his were friends, but I didn’t see them much and don’t remember them. We didn’t speak until we met up here. Maxime asked me not say anything about you or myself. I didn’t mean to leave you on your own. I had only seen you once, in the hospital, when you were born. I’m really sorry. I didn’t know what Matthew was going to do. I—”
“It’s okay. I understand. Who else knows of your origins?”
“No one. Your lie is mine. I also said that I was an orphan. Ironic, no?”
I smiled.
Maxime suddenly entered.“Ryan is conscious if you’d like to see him. We’re still hoping for the best.” His tone was grave and full of remorse and grief.
“He’s stable?” Sam sounded surprised.
Maxime shook his head. We all headed toward Ryan’s cabin.
Ryan lay motionless with tubes wrapped around his limbs and needles sticking out of every vein. A mask was gently placed on his mouth and nose to help him breathe. Bandages and wound dressings covered his head and arms. White covers came up to his chin, hiding his fatal wound. He slowly opened his tired eyes as we approached. He managed a weak smile.
I delicately took his small hand in mine as I kissed his forehead. Ryan muttered something through his mask, but it was inaudible. Sam removed the mask, and the words were repeated with dying energy: “How’s Kayla?”
I assumed Kayla was the young girl I had found by his side. “You were a hero; you saved her,” I said.
“I tried to be like you,” Ryan whispered and closed his eyes to recuperate some strength. My eyes swelled with tears.
Suddenly what had been a constant, rhythmic beep became a loud, piercing cry. I jumped back, and Sam started giving Ryan chest compressions, attempting to start his small, frail heart again. I held my breath. Ryan couldn’t die. He was too young, a hero, my friend.
“I’m sorry,” Sam said sadly after some time.
I buried my face in Maxime’s chest and broke into tears. I wanted to scream, to kill Matthew. Ryan should have lived. He shouldn’t have met death, so young and innocent. He shouldn’t have experienced war. He hadn’t done anything to deserve this.
Maxime held me and ran his fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. He then guided me out as I wiped away my tears. I was the cause of Ryan’s death and couldn’t redeem myself.
“You need some rest,” Maxime said as we walked back to his cabin. We opened the door, then headed inside toward the bed. We lay down together, facing each other.
“I wish I could see your eyes,” I muttered as I stroked his soft cheek.
“I wish I could see you,” Maxime answered and then kissed me.
He put his warm hand on my right shoulder, and I twitched in pain. I turned my back to him, and he wrapped his arm over my waist and pressed his hand on my heart. His chest was against my spine, keeping me tepid and synchronizing our heartbeats and breathing. He kissed my neck, and I told him how much I loved him. Sleep quickly took over, and I fell into a fairytale where death never threatened the innocent, where Ryan smiled, where Matthew didn’t exist, where Maxime and I were one.
“Maxime, I mean, Andrew, it’s David . . .” Sam said out of breath.
I felt a pipe nailed through my heart. Please, no, it couldn’t be David.
Maxime and I raced out behind Sam. David was lying on the ground, bleeding from everywhere. Red stained everything around him. His chest rapidly inflated and deflated as he fought for air. He was fully conscious and looked at us lovingly as he motioned weakly for us to approach him. It was obvious that neither Sam nor Megan could help him—only a miracle could, and David knew it.