Virgo's Vice (6 page)

“And no lunch,” Rodriguez adds. “I say we search for the closest McDonalds. I could use a Big Mac right now.”

Everyone laughs, but it makes me hungry.

“We think we found water,” Sam says, pointing. “I mean, it’s more like a dirty puddle, but maybe a couple of us should go back there and carry some in the two pots.” She glances at Trip.

“Oh, sure.” He gets his pot and hands it to her. So now we have a one quart pot and a larger one gallon pot.

The beer hardly touches sides and I know from experience it will only make us thirstier in the end. But it was nice of the Old Man to think of it, and to include us, even if it wasn’t champagne.

“I’ll go with you,” Kelli says, moving awkwardly on her stilettos.

“I’ll start a fire,” exec Faith volunteers, staring at Andy.

He gets the flint out of his pocket. “I’ll help you.”

I pan the camera over to the nurse, Maria, who is already binding Rodriguez’s ankle, while Henry Grant waits nearby for her to dress the wound on his head. Mark moves to my side. “You should film the women fetching water. I’ll cover things here.”

I’m a little nervous of heading out into the long grass again, but I need to pee real bad and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold it. “Come on, Jake.”

Chapter 7

Mark pointed the camera at the attorney. “We need to figure out what to do about a shelter,” he said.

“Right,” Billy and Trip both agreed.

“What do you suggest?” Jared asked Rodriguez, who was still having his ankle bound. “You said you have construction experience.”

“Like I said, get some of those saplings over there. As straight and long as you can find them. Bring them here.”

The cowboy picked up the axe, and Trip picked up a machete. “I should help you guys,” Mark said. “There was supposed to be camping gear and food for us but it seems like we’re gonna have to survive like all of you.”

“Bummer. When is the boss man coming back?” Jared asked, pushing his black-rimmed glasses back up his nose.

“Three days. In the meantime, you’re stuck with us in your camp,” Mark said. “Unless the Assistant Producer shows up with some other crew members.”

“I’m not gonna complain,” the cowboy says. “That Lexie is hot. Have you worked with her long?” He had reached a sapling and had started hacking away at it. It fell with a loud crash and a thud.

“And the redhead,” Jared added. “She’s hotter than July, man.”

“Three years,” Mark said. “I’ve been working with Lexie for three years.”

“Is she single?” Billy cleaned off some of the leaves and small branches.

Jared held the sapling for him.

“Didn’t you dudes hear me? Kelli, the teacher. Hot or not?”

Mark grinned at Jared. “Yeah. She’s hot.” He turned his gaze to Billy. “Lexie hasn’t had a serious boyfriend since I’ve known her. She’s been on one or two dates here and there, but nothing that has lasted. I think there was some sort of major problem with the last one. She arrived at work in a bad way.”

“Bad way?” Billy said.

“Yeah, she was a bundle of nerves and I caught her crying a couple of times, but she wouldn’t talk about it.”

“Well, maybe that’ll be good information. Time will tell.” Billy nodded at Mark. “You can have the redhead,” he said to Jared. “I’ll take Lexie any time over her.”

“Just go easy on her, man,” Mark said. “She’s kind of sensitive.” He hoped she wouldn’t have one of her panic attacks while she was out here. He had warned her that she might have problems, but she had said she wanted to do this as some sort of therapy to help stop those episodes. Now the Old Man had dropped them in the crap and he wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle it. She was okay with things if she knew they were coming. It was the unexpected stuff that seemed to push her over the edge. He thought again about the interaction she’d had with Trip.

“Don’t worry about Lexie. I respect women and I won’t do anything to upset her. At least I’ll try not to.”

Jared trimmed the leaves and branches off two saplings and started dragging them toward the camping area.

“You married?” Jared said to Mark.

“Yeah. Two kids. I’m not complaining. Married life is pretty okay.” Mark set his camera down where it could film without him carrying it and grabbed the next couple of saplings.

I’m getting desperate. I can’t have a meltdown out here. For one thing, I don’t think anyone will care. “Can you hold this?” I almost throw my camera at Kelli the redhead. “I have to, um, pee.” I feel myself going red. I hate that there’s no latrine or anything, but I can’t hold it any longer. I hold on to Jake’s collar to make certain he comes with me to the thick clump of bushes, and I make sure nobody can see me before I unfasten my jeans with a hammering heart.

When I take the camera back, Kelli and Eve each take turns behind the bushes. I feel kind of good inside that I was the one to do it first. Like some kind of peeing pioneer. Me, Lexie King, who has never even been camping. I could still do with something to calm me, but the crisis is over.

The tall model, Lela, and the skinny accountant, Faith, have opted not to join us on this expedition, even though they were keen to scout for water earlier.

“We’re gonna have to make an area for the latrines,” Sam says.

“I’ll second that,” I say.

“I think that’s what the shovels are for,” Eve agrees.

If the Old Man had stayed and brought the rest of the film crew we would’ve had them and I wouldn’t have had to go behind some bushes.

“Yes,” Kelli yells. “Water.”

I’m amazed that she’s managed to get all this way on those very fancy high heels down the rough path. She’s stumbled a few times and one time she actually fell on her ass, but she made it without getting badly injured.

We stand at the top of a fairly steep bank and stare down at the pool of water, which is green and has lumps of something floating in it. Animal hoof prints and droppings are scattered around the edge. It reminds me we are in Africa and that there are wild animals around, even though we haven’t seen any yet. I glance around, trying not to show how nervous I am, and follow the others down the bank to the water.

Jake wades in and laps the disgusting water up greedily.

“I don’t think I can drink this,” I say, wrinkling my nose at the putrid smell. “Isn’t there any place not too far away where we could find better water?”

“I have an idea,” Eve says. “If we dig over there, in the sand, maybe we’ll get some cleaner water. Sand is like a filter. I’ll go back and get a shovel.”

I sit on a grassy patch and set my camera down. Kelli sinks down beside me. “She’s brave,” I say. “I don’t know if I’d want to take off on my own, and I have Jake.”

“Yeah, but you’re not playing the game and she’s here to win,” Kelli says. “If you want to win the game you have to be prepared to do just about anything.”

“Except go naked, I— Jake!” He’s standing beside me shaking the water off himself. I jump up and swipe at my clothes.

The other girls laugh and I know I’m blushing again. “Yeah, when I entered to be a contestant in this show a friend told me to try out for that
Naked and Afraid
show on TV, but that’s not for me,” Sam says. “I’ll keep my clothes on, thank you.”

“I know. Most of them don’t last the twenty-one days anyhow,” Kelli says. But I bet they get paid a lot to take off their clothes like that.” She kicks off her shoes and examines her feet. “Blisters.”

I stare at them. “Those have to be real painful. How are you gonna get back to camp?”

“Ouch.” She touches one of the blisters. “I don’t know. Maybe you’ll have to carry me.” She laughs.

Sam drops down beside us and snorts. “So, you camera guys are gonna have to rough it with us,” she says with a smirk.

“I know, “I reply. “It kind of sucks. We didn’t even bring any survival items.”

“Do you have other clothes?” She’s staring at the muddy brown spots that Jake has just plastered all over my jeans.

“Yeah. I have two complete changes of clothing. I’m lucky in that way.” I don’t tell her I also have toothpaste, soap and lotion, and even some wet wipes.

“And your shoes are good.” Kelli stares at them wistfully. “I wonder what kind of a shelter the boys are making,” she says. “If I have to sleep beside one of the men, I know which one I would choose.”

I feel my eyebrows go up.

“The lawyer. Andy. How about you? Do you think he’s hot?”

“Him and the cowboy,” I mutter.

“Yeah, I think he’s taken with you,” Kelli says.

“W—What makes you say that?” I stammer.

Kelli smiles. “The way he stares at you with those beautiful green eyes.”

I glance across at Sam again. “I’m here to win the game,” she says. “Men complicate matters and I plan to keep my distance.”

Kelli ignores her. “And Jared. He’s got a nice body.” She giggles. “Not to mention the camera guy. His name’s Mark, isn’t it?”

“He’s married,” I say quickly. “Happily married.” I think about Mark’s family. And now we have no sat phone, so he can’t even call them.

“What about Trip?” Sam asks.

I don’t say anything because I can’t think of anything good to say about him. My jaw clamps and I force myself to take deep breaths, but I don’t really succeed in shaking off the bad feeling.

“There’s something about him that I don’t like,” Kelli says. “What is an entrepreneur and world explorer? I mean, what does he really do?”

He’s a disgusting monster.
I want to say it out loud, but I can’t.

“He’s okay. Kind of handsome in a rugged sort of way.” Sam pulls a grass stem apart and sticks it in her mouth. It smells sweet. “Rodriguez and the black dude are too old, though. They won’t keep up. I mean, I’m thirty-one and I thought I’d be one of the oldest. And I don’t know how Maria is gonna survive when it gets tough. Didn’t she say she was forty-seven?”

And Trip is fifty, but you’ll never know that.
“Maybe if she can’t carry on she’ll give you her shoes,” I say to Kelli with a chuckle.

“It’s not a laughing matter.” Kelli examines the underside of one of her shoes. “I think I’m gonna have to cut the heels off.”

“I can help with that. My knife.” Sam slips it out of her belt, where it’s hanging in a holster. It’s about twelve inches long with a brown bone handle and there are a few serrations, but the blade is mostly smooth. I can see it’s sharp. She holds out her hand for a shoe.

Kelli yanks one off her foot and stares at it. “I’m not sure exactly where you should cut.”

Sam stretches her legs out, takes the shoe from her, and sets it down on her knee. She examines it for a few seconds, and holds the knife poised over it. She raises an eyebrow at Kelli.

Kelli shrugs and blows out air. “I . . . I guess that you would. Yes. They’re no use to me like that.” She draws one of her feet up and rubs her heel.

“They must have cost a lot of dough,” I say.

Sam starts sawing at the heel about an inch from the sole of the shoe. It comes off cleanly and I realize the knife is real sharp.

“You’d better believe it,” Kelli says.

Sam hands the shoe back to Kelli, who slips it on and stands up. She stomps around on it gingerly.

“Yeah,” she says eventually. “It’s a lot better. You cut it at about the right place the way you left the little heel.” She drops down on the flattened grass beside Sam, and hands the other shoe to her. I don’t even know how she can walk with those blisters. One of them has burst and it’s been bleeding.

Eve gets back with the shovel and we all slide down the bank on the well-worn dirt tracks into the dry river bed sand. Eve kicks off her sandals and heads upstream from the dirty pool. She pushes the blade into the sand and starts to dig, and pretty soon sweat is pouring down her face.

“I’ll take over,” I say. “You look hot.” I undo my shoelaces and pull off my pink Nike’s and peel off my sweaty purple socks and stuff them inside the shoes. I roll my jeans up as much as I can, wishing I had brought shorts. The sand is soft, and it feels nice under my feet and between my toes. It’s warm on the top and cool underneath. The hole we’re digging keeps caving in and filling up again with sand. I make it wider and dig for a while in silence. When I get too hot, I hand the shovel to Kelli. My hands are sweaty and I wipe them on my jeans. Sweat is running into my eyes and I swat at the little no-see-ums flying in front of my face. I’m starting to wonder if there is any water down beneath the sand. I’m so thirsty I could almost drink from the yukky, stagnant pool. If only I was a dog.

I pick up my camera to film Kelli digging.

Jake has been running around and charging every which way, and I get a nice clip of him running back to me. He pushes his nose against my leg and I reach down with one hand to stroke his head. Why are dogs’ ears so soft and silky?

“I wonder if the guys are gonna have the shelter made in time for tonight,” Eve says. “When I went back to get the shovel they hadn’t started. They were still cutting down trees.”

Sam hauls herself up, dusts off her shorts, and takes over the grunt work.

“I don’t think we’ll get much sleep if we have to lie on the ground out in the open.” I wince. I’d be a lot happier driving home in the traffic with a cold soda and lots of ice in the cup-holder beside me right about now. Even being stuck in the L.A. traffic would be better than this.

“Come and see,” Sam shouts.