Virtually in Love (22 page)

I waved as they drove off in a cloud of fumes. There was one more goose honk, and then the yellow car disappeared around the corner, and I could finally relax.

What was wrong with me? This was supposed to be an exciting, romantic night for me and Trevor. So why was I suddenly obsessing over my friends' date instead of my own?

Maybe because it could have been me,
I thought before I could stop myself.
I could be in that car right now instead of Vanessa.

That thought made me feel like the worst, most hateful, and petty friend in the world. How could I be jealous of my two favorite people? It had been my idea for them to go to the dance together, and now here I was wishing I'd never mentioned it.

It was getting a little chilly, so I went back inside to wait for Trevor. The house was still and silent, which made my mood drop even further. Pulling out my phone, I brought up Trevor's band's version of “True Romance” and cranked up the volume, humming along.

But for once, the magic of the song didn't work. Every time I tried to picture myself slow dancing with Trevor, I kept imagining my arms holding someone else.

Kaz.

“Oh no!” I said aloud, my voice echoing through the quiet house. “I think I've made a huge mistake!”

My heart pounded as I tried to tell myself it was nerves talking or anticipation or just a plain old psychotic break.

But no. I couldn't deny the truth any longer. I was sitting here waiting for Trevor . . . and wishing I were with Kaz instead.

At that moment I heard a loud backfire from outside, and when I stepped to the window, Jon's car was pulling to the curb in front of my house.

I gulped. What in the world was I supposed to do now?

Chapter
Eighteen

W
hen I swung open the
front door, Jon was right there. “Gotta use the john,” he muttered with a scowl. “Where is it?”

“Uh, come right in.” I stepped back to let him pass. “The bathroom's down that hall past the stairs.”

His only response was a grunt as he took off in that direction. Trevor came in behind his cousin, looking apologetic.

“Sorry about Jon,” he said. “He and his girlfriend had a huge fight on the phone right before we left the reunion. He's not in the best mood.”

“I can tell.” I tried to sound normal, but it wasn't easy. My mind was still spinning with the revelation that had just hit me. How was I supposed to act now that I knew I was going to the dance with the wrong guy?

Then again how could I do anything else? Trevor had come all the way here just for me. I couldn't just blow him off now.

Besides, there was no point thinking about what this night might have been like if I were with Kaz. Because he was at the dance with my other best friend. And I wasn't about to do anything to hurt Vanessa, especially if she was starting to have feelings for Kaz too. I wouldn't do that to her—to either of them.

You had your chance,
that evil little voice inside of me piped up.
It could've been you. But you blew it.

Good point, evil little voice
. Taking a deep breath, I managed to shoot Trevor what I hoped was a pleasant and relatively sane smile. “Want to sit down while we wait for Jon?”

“Sure.” He followed me into the living room. For the first time, I noticed he looked amazing in a dark suit jacket over jeans and a concert T-shirt.
Very rock 'n' roll,
Kaz might have said. For a second I felt a shiver of the old feelings creep back.

But that wasn't real. It was just a fantasy, like the song I'd thought was predicting my future. Kaz? Now that was real. Or it could be if it wasn't already too late.

“So,” Trevor said after what I realized was an awkwardly long moment of silence. He was sitting on the edge of the sofa holding his cell phone, tossing it back and forth from one hand to the other. “This should be fun. The dance, I mean.”

“Yeah.” I glanced toward the hall, wishing Jon would hurry up.

Trevor seemed to be thinking the same thing. “I'll go see what's keeping him,” he said. “Be right back.”

Dropping his phone onto the coffee table, he took off. I leaned back in my chair, feeling oddly drained, even though the evening hadn't even started yet. How the heck was I going to pull this off? How was I going to smile and flirt and dance with Trevor, when all I could think about was Kaz?

Before I could figure it out, Trevor's phone rang. It only took a second to recognize the tune—a recent hit called “Fun Girl.” Curious in spite of myself, I leaned forward so I could see the readout. It was a call from someone named Z.

Zoe, I realized. I glanced toward the hall, wondering if Trevor would want me to answer it. Before I could decide, he hurried in and grabbed the phone himself, glancing at the display.

“Zoe?” he said, answering. “Hang on a sec, okay?”

He lowered the phone and smiled at me. “Jon's on his phone in your bathroom,” he said. “He's fighting with Shelly again, I think.” He held up his own phone. “Mind if I take this while we wait?”

“Go ahead.” I wandered out into the hall to give him some privacy. Twenty-four hours ago I probably would have been fighting back jealousy at a call from Zoe. And maybe I would have been right to feel that way. Because looking back, it was pretty obvious he thought she was something special. And maybe not just in a talented-drummer kind of way.

It was weird to realize I didn't care. So what if Trevor and Zoe liked each other? More power to them. Maybe they'd end up being the perfect couple.

Like me and Kaz . . .

Suddenly Trevor's voice grew loud enough to carry into the hallway. “I can't do it, seriously,” he exclaimed. “I told you, she asked me to this, like, two weeks ago, and if I bag out now . . .” There was a pause. I crept closer to the doorway, unable to resist listening. “Look, don't be like that, Zoe,” he said after a moment, his voice softening. “You know it's not like that. When I get back . . .” Another pause. “Look, I can't help it. I'm sure they'll want us again, right? Anyway, I have to go. I'll text you later.”

I scooted across to the front door, pretending to be looking out the little window beside it when he emerged into the foyer. “Everything okay?” I asked.

“Sure.” He looked troubled. “I mean, yeah, definitely. It turns out they want us at that club I was telling you about.”

“The Scene?” I exclaimed. “Really? That's amazing, Trevor! Congratulations.”

“Yeah.” He didn't look happy. “The thing is, there was a cancellation tonight. They wanted us to step in for the ten-o'clock show.”

“Tonight?”

“Uh-huh.” He slumped against the wall, staring at his phone. “Talk about bad timing . . . .”

Yeah. Or was it?

“Hold on,” I said. “Ten o'clock? But it's barely seven now.”

“Yeah. So?” He shrugged.

“So you could still make it.” Crossing the foyer in two big strides, I grabbed his hand. “You can't pass up this break, Trev. And it sounds like Jon's not in the mood for the dance anyway. Why not see if he can run you back there right now?”

“What?” He stared at me, perplexed. “But your dance—I can't bail on you, Chloe. That wouldn't be cool.”

“Who needs moonlight and red roses and fancy dinners anyway?” I said. “I'd rather just order random food at the diner with . . .”

My voice trailed off with a wince as I thought about Kaz. If Trevor hadn't come to town at just the right—or wrong?—time, I'd probably be at the dance with Kaz right now. And suddenly I knew that's what I really wanted. To be
with
Kaz.

Trevor furrowed his eyebrows, waiting for me to finish, but instead I quickly blurted out, “Seriously, I don't mind. This week has been fun, Trevor. It's been great getting to know you again after all these years, and I hope we'll totally stay friends from now on. But . . .”

“Hang on.” He tilted his head, staring at me. “Are you . . . breaking up with me?”

“I don't know.” I shrugged sheepishly. “Maybe. I mean, were we even officially going out?”

“I don't know.” He looked more confused than ever. “I never really thought about it, I guess.”

Typical guy,
I thought with a tiny smile. “Well, I have,” I told him. “And the thing is, I think we're better as friends. Especially since I think there might be someone else you like for real.”

He frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Zoe. Duh.” I rolled my eyes. “Could you possibly talk about her even more, dude? Anyone can tell you're twitterpated.”

“Twitter-what?” He was still frowning. “Anyway, Zoe and I are just friends. Nothing more.”

“I know, I know, you keep telling me that.” I poked him in the chest. “Face it, Trev. She's your Yoko.”

He looked alarmed. “No way! I won't let this break up the band.”

I laughed. “Way to be Mr. Literal. I just mean I think it makes more sense for you to be with someone, you know, in the same area code. And for me, too.”

“Oh.” He still looked wary for a second. Then his expression cleared. “Wait. Is this about that guy?”

“What guy?”

“Your buddy Kaz.” He took a step closer. “I could tell he was into you.”

“Maybe he used to be,” I said softly, thinking about him and Vanessa at the dance. “I'm not so sure anymore.” I forced a smile. “But never mind that—you'll need to hit the road now if you're going to make that show. I mean, I know it's totally rock 'n' roll to show up late, but there are limits.”

He stared at me, his expression wavering between excitement and uncertainty. At that moment Jon crashed into the room.

“Women,” he spat out. “They suck.” Glancing at me, he added, “No offense.”

“Does this mean you're not going to the dance?” I asked him.

He just shrugged. “I can still drop you two off, I guess,” he muttered sourly.

I smiled at Trevor. “I have a better idea . . . .”

Five minutes later they were gone. Trevor had thanked me about eleventy zillion times in those five minutes, still seeming a little shell-shocked.

But he'd get over it by the time he made it back to his own town. I was sure of it. Would he and Zoe end up together? Yeah, I was pretty sure of that, too.

So where did that leave me?

Chapter
Nineteen

I
'm not sure how long
I wandered around my house trying to figure out what to do next. Should I still go to the dance? It was tempting. But I didn't want to be at the center of some pity party.

Still, I couldn't just not show up, either. Digging my cell phone out of my purse, I clicked open a group text to Kaz and Vanessa.

Then I stopped, not sure what to say. Especially when I pictured Kaz—sweet, goofy Kaz—asking me to the dance. And playing the oboe outside my window. And grinning hopefully as he waited for me to break his heart.

With a grimace, I deleted the group text. Instead I started a text to just Vanessa.

Probably won't make the dance after all. Tell u more later. Have fun!

I added a smiley emoji at the end and then clicked send. Then I waited, sure Vanessa would text back immediately with follow-up questions. But a minute or two passed, and my phone stayed silent.

Finally I shrugged and tossed the phone aside. Maybe Vanessa was having such a good time with Kaz that she'd turned off her phone. Or maybe it was sitting in her purse in a dark corner somewhere while the two of them danced the night away, wrapped in each other's arms . . . .

I squeezed my eyes shut, banishing the image. What was the point in torturing myself? Either Kaz and Vanessa would fall in love or they wouldn't. I wasn't going to interfere, even now that I'd finally woken up and realized Kaz and I had been the ones who were meant to be all along. If “meant to be” was even a thing, that is.