Virtue & Vanity (32 page)

“Don’t bother, angel. I don’t need you to lie.” He looked at me tenderly and then smiled, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. “Besides, you make a terrible liar... But that’s just one of the many things I like about you.” My heart skipped a beat.
One of the many things he liked about me?

Stunned by his comment, I remained silent, deciding to take another bite of the delicious pancake and after that, the conversation went dead.

In a short while, we left that beautiful estate and headed back to the place that didn’t represent anything but bitter memories for the both of us. For a long time, I gazed out the window, wrapping my thoughts into the passing life of magnificent nature and then, I felt a familiar warm, electric shiver rush through me. Everything in me woke up as I realized that Sebastian gently entwined our fingers and held my hand. Gulping, I turned towards him with painful slowness and though his eyes were fixed on the road, it felt like he was piercing through me with the green lightning of his stare. I couldn’t help thinking that my hand fell into his with such incredible smoothness and a part of me wondered if he was the only man in the world who could evoke that flustering feeling of excitement. With a smile on his face, he pulled my hand towards him, lowering his lips on my knuckles and burning a beautiful memory with a small, ticklish kiss. Then, as if he could read my mind, he glanced at me, his eyes warm and trusting, observing me like I consumed the deepest part of his thoughts and the idea of it made me feel cherished and special. Everything seemed better, at the reach of our hands. We just had to be patient and wait for it. At that moment, it felt like someday, somewhere... we could actually build a home together.

Chapter Thirty-Six

The shiny, warm clarity of summer had been replaced by the cold, murky autumn sky and I observed as the golden leaves fell from the trees, leaving their branches naked and vulnerable for the merciless winter to come. Carried by the strength of the wind, the leaves flew away in a dance, taking away the playful spectrum of colors along with them. The monotonous picture of the once beautiful garden now seemed to be dark and gray. Startled by the approaching noise, I looked away from the depressing imagery on the outside and I was welcomed by a scowling voice.

“Isabelle, you’ve barely touched your food.” Anne expressed her worry when she found me lost in thoughts at a breakfast table.

“I’m just not that hungry,” I said quietly and forced a smile.

Anne smiled and looked at me like she was trying to decipher my thoughts. “I wonder if your sudden loss of appetite has anything to do with Sebastian’s absence.” She winked at me and I blushed.

I caught myself analyzing what she had told me and I was struck by the truth of her words. Sebastian had been gone for three days, and just like the bright summer had been replaced by the dampening fall, the colorful world he put me in went black and white again. The man whose presence used to be the last thing I desired suddenly wouldn’t leave my mind and this fresh revelation that I was becoming dependent on him left me bewildered.

“It’s alright, dear. You don’t have to say a thing, but I can tell that he’s warming up to your heart. I’m glad to see that he’s trying to make amends,” she said softly.

I swallowed and looked at her with a pinch of sadness. Even though I’d never told her, I felt she must have had a hunch about what happened between us and she knew how he used to treat me.

“Making amends is all he ever does lately,” I said in a whisper. “And he’s quite good at it,” I mumbled to myself.

A slight smile appeared on Anne’s lips and she rested her hand on my shoulder. “Sebastian can be quite charming when he wants to be. Be careful, because he just might steal your heart.” She meant it as a joke, but I didn’t find it funny for obvious reasons.

I swallowed my answer.
It’s too late to be careful.

Anne observed me suspiciously. She knew that things had changed, but as always, she didn’t comment on it. As kind as she was, she just continued clearing up the table and every now and then glanced at me with a kind expression on her face. I was really blessed to have her near and I couldn’t help but think that she was more attached to me than my own mother.

“Thank you, Anne,” I said when she was about to leave the room and she smiled at me warmly, letting me know she was aware I was thanking her for a lot more than clearing the table.

Defying, heavy rain started falling from the sullen sky, preventing me from going outside and I resigned my original idea to find something that would consume my restless thoughts for a while and instead, I headed towards my bedroom. When I walked past the media room, the memory of the painful conversation I had with Sebastian returned to taunt me. The sound of his voice when he presented me with the story I had written and demanded a happy ending for the characters consumed my mind again and I realized that my doubts since then had lessened and I started believing that my characters could have their happily ever after if they worked hard for it. Up until now, I’d had a huge writer’s block because I couldn’t think of anything the hero could do to redeem himself, but suddenly, I was bursting with inspiration and I had more than one idea of how he could try to amend for his actions. The fact that I had managed to find something that would distract me from thinking about my husband who was closing business deals in Paris while I spent lonely hours in that huge, empty house filled me with satisfaction and I couldn’t wait to start writing again.

Excited, I searched for the notebook that held one of my most prized possessions, and once I found it, a childish squeak left my throat, forcing me to laugh at myself for being so silly. Before I dived into the depressing world of my characters, which I wanted to change, I decided to return to the kitchen and prepare a cup of soothing chamomile tea. Another dear remembrance of Sebastian’s thoughtfulness filled me with the flustering feeling of anticipation again and I smiled to an empty room, being completely aware that once more, I missed my husband’s presence.

Hours went by quickly, and I wrote with so much enthusiasm that my thoughts seemed to be faster than my hand and the words that were stuck in my mind for so long seemed to have effortlessly spilled on the blank paper. The new concept of the story I had created filled me with happiness, and for the first time after starting to work on this novel, I felt like it was going in the right direction and I couldn’t help but feel proud about it. The hero decided to show that even though he had hurt the heroine and left her broken, he could derive enough strength for both of them and prove her that there was a way out of their bad situation. Every day, he would demonstrate patience and care for the heroine who had managed to work her way into his heart and with the small, but milestone-changing gestures, he slowly tried to work his way into hers. At first, she was confused by the attention he showered her with, and she was wary to accept his apology and believe in the honesty of his intentions, but eventually, his warmth had melted her mistrust and she yielded to him, even though she knew that by doing so, she would make herself vulnerable again, but it was a risk she was willing to take. Many obstacles still ruled and threatened the safety of their newfound world, but at least now, she was prepared to give him her trust and fight along with him.

Despite the fact that it was getting late and my eyes as well as my hands were getting tired, the excitement hadn’t subsided. The urge to keep on writing was overwhelming, and had it not been for the sudden knock on the door, I’m sure I would have fallen asleep with the pen in my hands and my head on the desk.

With reluctance, I put the notebook away and invited whoever was on the other side of the door to come inside. The door opened halfway and I was greeted with the sight of Annette partially leaning over the door, staring at me with a smile on her face. Even though I was tired, I was glad to see her, but her mysterious behavior left me baffled.

“Why don’t you come inside?” I asked in a light voice and she looked at me with strange excitement glowing from her eyes.

Confused, I started laughing because I didn’t know what she was hiding behind that door. Annette was slowly relaxing around me, but at times she still seemed to be tense in my presence.

“I have something for you,” she finally said in a controlled voice that hid her obvious thrill and she pulled a beautiful bouquet that consisted of simple, but breathtakingly beautiful red roses.

Unable to speak because I was taken aback by the sight in front of me, I remained gazing at Annette until I snapped out of my trance.

“You’ve bought me flowers?” I looked at her in surprise, while she shook her head at me, smiling in enigma.

“No, don’t worry.” She chuckled. “They have just been delivered and I have a good feeling about the identity of your secret admirer,” she said in a teasing voice while walking towards me.

In complete awe, I accepted the wonderful bundle of my favorite flowers and even though I knew who had sent them, I hesitated before reading the little card that was attached to the top of the bouquet. Instead, I closed my eyes, savoring the scent of alluring roses, and as my action evoked the image of Sebastian’s smiling face, my eyes tore open in surprise. I was daydreaming about this man. With obvious excitement, my hand reached for the note and I couldn’t help but smile when I read its touching content.

Sweet Isabelle,

Even when I’m miles away, somehow you still manage to

creep into my mind and keep me awake until the late hours of the night.

I secretly hope the roses will make you think of me,

like I think of you.

Greetings from the loneliest man in Paris

Shivering current rushed through my body when I read what was written on that card and my heart started beating in a fast rhythm while my cheeks blushed in the deepest shade of red, revealing my mesmerized state of mind.

“Are they from Sebastian?” Annette asked with excitement and curiosity.

“Yes, they are,” I whispered, still blushing from the overpowering reaction another one of his gestures evoked in me.

“They’re beautiful. I wish I had someone to buy me flowers.” Her voice was filled with longing.

I turned to look at her and something about her comment caught my attention, but I chose to dismiss it.

“I love roses. Especially the red ones,” I stated in a quiet voice.

“Me too.” She leaned over to inhale the scent that evaporated from the red petals.

“Another thing we have in common, then,” I commented with a slight smile as she stepped away.

For a moment she just stood there and then she started staring at me with a baffled look on her face. “Isabelle, I was wondering...” She hesitated to ask something delicate and I turned serious, already bracing myself to hear her uncomfortable question. “It’s just that, if your husband is so thoughtful then how come...” My nerves were getting the best of me and I thought the anticipation would kill me if she wouldn’t speak, but instead of saying what she wanted to say, she shrugged and regained her composure. “It doesn’t matter. Never mind.” She waved her hand and smiled, but I could tell she was still thinking about something that preoccupied her mind and I had an overwhelming feeling that that something was my marriage.

For a while, we remained silent, both of us trying to come up with something to say to break the awkwardness of the situation.

“Please, let me put them in the water for you.” Annette produced a shy smile and reached for the bouquet. I slowly handed it to her, still feeling weird about her sudden interest in Sebastian’s behavior towards me.

While she walked towards the vanity to get the ceramic vase and busied herself with creating a beautiful decoration, my mind was preoccupied with Sebastian’s warnings about Annette. Maybe I had judged her too easily. When she was done, she turned towards me with a light expression on her face and I sighed, scowling at myself for ever thinking this girl could have had bad intentions, but I just had to know.

“Annette, what did you want to ask me?” My voice was slow as I dragged out the question.

“Oh.” She exhaled in discomfort, making it obvious she hadn’t expected that I would insist on the matter. “Nothing. I...” She was stalling with her answer and it made me all the more suspicious, so I held my breath when she smiled and started talking. “I was just wondering how come he didn’t take you to Paris, but I’m sure he has a good reason,” she offered an explanation and her innocent answer had put my mind at ease.

I sighed with relief and smiled. I understood how she could wonder about that, but something told me there was more to it. Shaking off the bad thoughts, I head-strongly decided to ignore my intuition which always managed to make me doubt people’s intentions ever since my trust had been battered. In my mind, I kept repeating to myself that Annette was a kind person and someone who was becoming a friend. She wouldn’t betray me. Producing an inviting and light expression on my face, I smiled at her and it seemed to calm her down.

“Sebastian prefers I stay home while he travels on business. I’ve accompanied him once and it didn’t end too well,” I said, remembering our trip to Las Vegas and all the drama that went on there.

Annette chuckled. “Like I’ve said, I knew he had a good reason. It’s great to know that you’re always on his mind though.”

Her words made me wander off and for a moment and I was lost in deep thoughts. “Yes, it’s nice to know that,” I confirmed.

She sighed and took another short peek at the roses. “They truly are magnificent,” she whispered in awe and then looked at me with a spark of something I interpreted as a pinch of innocent jealousy. “Well, it’s getting late. I should get going. I have college tomorrow.” She yawned and now I was the one with a pinch of jealousy coming from my stare because I was reminded that she was leading the life I always dreamt of and while I was stuck on dreaming, she was busy with turning her plans into reality.

I brushed off the sad thoughts and swallowed a lump that was forming in my throat. “I understand. You should get your rest,” I said in a caring, soft voice.

“Thank you. You should go to sleep too. No offense, but you look really tired,” she teased me and it made me laugh.

I could only imagine the traces of exhaustion that were probably showing on my face after hours of writing. “None taken. I’m going to take a shower and call it a night,” I said in a sleepy voice.

Annette smiled and turned to leave, but then she stopped and turned back towards me with a slight blush on her face. “I’m sorry. I feel bad that I have to ask you this, but could I borrow a few books from the library? I need them for a project and I didn’t have enough time to get them myself. I hope it’s not inconvenient...”

“Annette!” She kept mumbling and I felt like I should stop her. “It’s okay,” I said in a reassuring voice and smiled. I didn’t know how Sebastian felt about the books being taken away from the library and I certainly wasn’t too happy about it myself, but I was glad to help. “Take whatever you need, but please return it before Sebastian arrives home.”