Virtues of War (30 page)

He turned to look at her. She didn’t back away, but let his face be close to hers. His gaze softened.

“Katja… about last night…”

She suddenly realized how much she wanted to kiss him. How much she wanted to slip into his strong arms and lose herself in his warmth.

“Yes?”

His eyes were haunted, and she felt her heart begin to sink.

“Look… last night shouldn’t have happened.” He dropped his head and sighed. “I’m sorry. I was feeling all messed up and… I made a mistake.”

Her stomach clenched. She realized after a moment that her mouth was hanging open. A thousand things to say flashed through her mind.

“What?” she said.

“Katja, I think you’re beautiful and smart and I’m sorry that I’ve busted up our professional relationship. But I’m marrying someone else—this shouldn’t have happened.”

Her urge to kiss him had turned into an urge to punch him as hard as she could. But she resisted.

“So what am I?” she demanded. “A squeeze toy? You’re feeling all messed up, and I’m just a little treat to make you feel better?” She was as angry at herself as she was with him. She knew better than this. It was her own damn fault for having let herself fall for a guy in uniform.

He still hadn’t come up with anything worthwhile to say.

The door slid open, and Breeze strode in. “All right, Captain, let’s get—” She stopped in her tracks as her eyes fell on Katja. “Hi.” Breeze’s usual smile slid into place. “I didn’t know we were having a staff meeting.”

Thomas leaned back in his chair. “Katja and I were just going over some potential intelligence.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I stopped by then.” Breeze sidled over and placed a hand on Katja’s shoulder. “I’m so glad that everything was sorted out. I still can’t believe what a brave thing you did.”

“Yeah, you’re one crazy chick, Ops,” Thomas said.

She tried to smile, but the whole situation suddenly seemed unreal. Thomas and Breeze were both smiling at her, but neither looked quite themselves. Despite the fact that she had arrived at the cabin first, she somehow felt…

As if she was interrupting something.

“How did you know the captain was in here?” she asked.

Breeze’s face displayed nothing but friendly rapport, except for the slight flicker of her eyes up and to the left.

“Interestingly enough, I’d asked him to go over the last few minutes of
Rapier
’s log before we… took the pods and left. We decided it would be best to look at the data directly from
Rapier
’s computer, and our cabin is bigger than his.” She glanced around with her most disarming, self-deprecating expression. “Too bad I’m such a poor housekeeper.”

“Actually, I think what Ops was showing me is more relevant,” Thomas said. “Maybe you should have a look at this.”

Katja kept her expression neutral, but obligingly replayed the logs from
Astrid
, explaining her thought processes. Breeze nodded thoughtfully at the suggestion of a secret Centauri jump gate—an idea which she had angrily dismissed when it had been suggested by Jack.

After twenty minutes of discussion, they agreed that the data and Katja’s theory should be taken to Astral Intelligence. Less than a minute after that, Thomas said his goodbyes and left the ship, followed shortly thereafter by Breeze—who didn’t bother to clean up her crap.

Katja was left to haul her kit bag off
Rapier
, suddenly feeling very tired and wanting to sleep again.

B
reeze eased down into the chair with a long sigh. She was alone in the small conference room and she allowed herself a little outward moment of frustration.

She still had trouble believing what she was going to do. Good work in the Astral Force should be acknowledged, she knew, but not when it was the result of stupid decisions and dumb luck. Especially when it was Katja’s dumb luck.

Breeze honestly couldn’t believe how that crazy butch was still alive. She flashed up the screens built into the table next to every seat, and displayed her report summary on each. No point in fighting it—she began composing herself for the ordeal.

The door swished open to allow Katja to enter, and she rose from her chair, her trained smile spreading easily and without conscious effort. Commander Vici was right behind her. Neither looked too friendly, but that had never stopped Breeze before.

“Hi, Katja,” she said. “You look great. Totally recovered.” Katja gave her an odd look, a cross between suspicion and appreciation.

“Thanks.”

Commander Vici sat down. “Is this the final report, Lieutenant?”

Breeze resumed her seat. “The summary is displayed, ma’am. You can access the full report at the top of the page.”

The three women sat in silence for a moment, neither of the other two looking at Breeze. She didn’t mind too much—talking to these she-apes was about as much fun as sitting through a lecture on the merits of combining your house and life insurance.

Thankfully, it wasn’t long before the rest of the attendees arrived, and Breeze gave warm words of welcome in turn to Thomas, Brigade Colonel Korolev, and finally Commodore Chandler. She noticed immediately that there was some sort of weird tension between Thomas and Katja—they didn’t greet each other, and while they glanced at each other, neither would meet the other’s eye. The men made a few moments of small talk—apparently Thomas’s fiancée was Chandler’s goddaughter, she noted with interest—then at last she was able to start.

She sat up straight and gave a professional smile. The men all smiled back.

“Sirs, ma’am, it’s a great pleasure today to give my final report on the actions of
Rapier
’s strike team after abandoning ship during the Battle of Laika. The summary is before you on your screen, but I think it’s no surprise to any of us that Lieutenant Emmes and her team are to be commended for their heroic actions.”

She’d been practicing this speech so much for the past day that she could actually say it with enthusiasm that sounded real.

“After ensuring the safety of the Fleet members of
Rapier
, Lieutenant Emmes and her team flew in an unarmed, unarmored spacecraft through heavy fire, snuck on board a Centauri battle cruiser and proceeded to cause so much internal damage that the enemy ship was forced to retreat from the battle. It was eventually abandoned by its surviving crew.

“A careful reconstruction of the overall Battle of Laika has revealed that the withdrawal of the Centauri battle cruiser from the fight turned the tide and gave Expeditionary Force 15 the chance to fend off the Centauri aggression and withdraw with only limited casualties.”

She looked around the table, trying to gauge the reactions. Chandler, Korolev, and Vici were all nodding. Thomas kept his eyes down. Katja kept her eyes on Breeze, her expression grim.

“The report recommends that Lieutenant Emmes be nominated for the Star of Courage, and that every member of her strike team who boarded the enemy vessel be nominated for the Medal of Bravery. The pilot of their ship is recommended for the Military Medal.”

Katja’s eyes widened slightly. She dropped her gaze as her cheeks reddened.

Vici and Korolev exchanged a glance. Chandler leaned forward and glared.

“I thought there was talk about the Terran Cross, and the Star of Courage for her troopers. Did I miss a memo, Lieutenant Brisebois?”

She’d hoped he’d forgotten, actually, but it was nothing a little well-placed referencing couldn’t solve. She put on her best look of painful regret.

“Sir, personally I couldn’t agree more.” She smiled at Katja. “If it was up to me, I’d say the Cross of Valor itself.” She brought up the pained expression again. “Unfortunately, when recommendations for medals are made, it’s imperative that we keep to the clear standards set in precedent. It’s so easy to get emotional when we have the good fortune to witness true heroism, but the Astral Force has a long history of heroism against which each act has to be weighed.”

“I suppose you did a thorough comparison, Lieutenant?” Vici asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” Breeze replied. “In the full report I’ve included three examples each of recent winners of the three medals that were considered. Please review them and compare with the actions in this current report. I think you’ll find that Lieutenant Emmes is eminently worthy of the Star of Courage.”

Vici stared at her screen for a few moments.

“Some of these are twenty years old.”

Breeze nodded. “I think it speaks volumes about the prestige these medals hold when you see how rarely they’re awarded.”

“And this one’s from the Army.”

“Again, to find relevant examples I had to go outside the Astral Force.” That, and she was very curious to see the reaction when Katja read the name of the example she’d dug up.

It was Korolev who noticed first.

“Banner Leader Gunther Friedrich Emmes, Terran Cross.” He turned to look at Katja. “Is he related to you, Lieutenant?”

Breeze watched carefully. Katja’s eyes narrowed as soon as the Army was mentioned, and the color fled her face when she heard the name.

“He’s my father,” she said quietly.

Chandler was still frowning. “Well, we’ll have to review this. Lieutenant Brisebois, take Lieutenant Emmes outside. We’ll call you back in a few minutes.”

“Yes, sir.” She rose and rounded the table, following Katja out into the flats. It was very quiet, and Katja seemed happy to keep it that way.

“I wondered if that was your father when I was doing the research,” Breeze said with a friendly smile. “You never talk very much about him, but he must be your idol.”

Katja looked up, dark eyes peering through pale eyebrows, but it was a long moment before she replied.

“He’s a very accomplished soldier.”

“I’m sure he’ll be very proud of you,” Breeze said. It was like twisting the knife, and she knew it. “He’s a storm banner leader now, isn’t he?”

Katja nodded.

“What he must have thought when you joined the Astral Force.” But Breeze knew better. She’d only seen Katja drunk twice—once on the fast-attack course and once in the star lounge. Both times the subject of her father had come out—along with his hatred of officers and her choice of career.

She pressed her advantage. “I know the Army has some strange ideas about officers. Isn’t it true that they don’t have any? Don’t they all start as stormtroopers, and go up from there? What did he think about you going officer?”

Katja was turning red. Amazing how easy it was to wind somebody up, given the proper ammunition.

“Anyway, let’s hope we can get home soon, so you can tell him face to face what happened.”

Katja’s lips were tight. “Yeah.”

There was another moment of silence. Katja folded her arms and stared at the deck.

“Thomas has certainly been looking tired lately, hasn’t he?” Breeze said. “I wonder if he’s been sleeping well.”

“How the hell would I know?”

That was a stronger reaction than expected. Had she uncovered something? “I was just asking. I know you two sometimes spend off-time together.”

Katja reddened again. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She sounded more defensive than angry.

Interesting
, Breeze thought. “Well, like that time we all met up for drinks at the star lounge.” She smiled. “That seems like so long ago now, doesn’t it?”

After a moment, Katja replied.

“How’s your boyfriend Jack?” she asked.

That caught her off guard. But she quickly regrouped.

“He’s a nice kid,” she said. “But there’s nothing between us. A shame about his injuries, though.”

“I guess the last time we saw him was when he gave us a lift back from
Kristiansand
.”

“I think you’re right.”

“After you gave your briefing to a packed house—about the battle. It was impressive how you told the tale.” Katja paused, then continued. “Maybe I’ll have the chance to write a report concerning your conduct at the Battle of Laika. You know, return the favor.”

Suddenly the conversation was taking an uncomfortable turn.

“I’d be honored,” Breeze said, “but I really didn’t do much.”

“I know.”

Breeze glanced at the door to the conference room. What was taking them so long?

“I’m just happy,” Katja continued, “that you were able to get to safety so quickly. It’s horrible to think of you being in danger.” She was about as subtle as a bull in a china shop, but annoying enough that Breeze couldn’t think of a decent retort.

“At least I made it back with everyone still alive,” she said finally. “How many dead did you leave behind?” She cringed at her own lack of style, but her words had the desired effect.

“Fuck you.” Katja’s fists clenched.

Breeze stepped back out of arm’s reach, feeling her composure returning. She forced herself to smile.

“I’ve told you, honey—you’re not my type.”

Katja’s face wrinkled in disgust as she turned away. Then the door to the conference room finally opened. Thomas beckoned them both to enter. Breeze let Katja lead, not trusting enough to turn her back on an enraged trooper. Once inside, they took their seats. Surprisingly, it was Korolev who spoke.

“Lieutenant Emmes, I’m sorry that you’ve had to be aware of this discussion. Usually recipients are simply told of their honor, and are left ignorant of any discussions that lie behind it. This was handled poorly.”

His eyes never left Katja, but Breeze felt Vici’s glare pass over her.

“Since we have no ability to confer with Astral High Command,” he continued, “we—the acting commanders of EF 15, together with your commanding officer and your troop commander—have decided to award you the field decoration of the Astral Star. Sergeant Chang is awarded the Star of Courage, the members of your strike team who boarded the enemy vessel are awarded the Medal of Bravery, and your pilot the Military Medal.”

He stood. Everyone followed his lead.

“Congratulations, Lieutenant Emmes.”

She shook his outstretched hand firmly, but Breeze could see that she was still bothered by their exchange in the passageway.
Good
, she thought. That helped make up for suffering the indignity of watching this self-righteous psychopath get a medal. Behind her smile, Breeze prayed that the EF got back to Terra soon. This military was one fucked-up organization and she wanted out.