“I’m asking you to trust me, to do what you always do and focus on where you’re going - not where you are.”
My eyes raced back and forth as I struggled to find my direction. I knew Nathaniel believed what he was saying. It took everything I had, but I found a way to take control of my emotions by thinking of the way I felt when I was one with Landen. I focused on finding that feeling again, on repaying him for the grief that I’d brought to his soul once again. The thunder ended its protest, and the world grew silent as the skies reflected the grey gloom I felt.
Nathaniel looked up to the sky. “Can you keep your emotion here?” he asked sincerely.
“I’m only human...I’ll do my best,” I said in a low tone.
I felt the sympathy he had for me. He nodded his head in the direction of the water. I held my breath and stepped closer. When I looked into the gently flowing clear water, it was obvious why I felt Landen’s terror: my body was lying across the floor of the string. He was on his knees at my side, and Drake was at my other side. I watched as he screamed my name through his thoughts and words. As his hands rushed over every inch of my body, trying to find something to heal, I could see the energy he was pushing into me, feel his soul aching. I saw Drake stare at my closed eyes with an immense amount of empathy for me; I didn’t need to feel him to see the love he had for me. A jagged breath left my lips as I realized what I’d done to them: once again, they’d watched me die...the agony I was having to suppress was overpowering.
Drake slowly reached his hand for my chest and covered my heart; it was as if he could sense that it was breaking and he wanted to end the pain. Tears pooled in my eyes, but I fought them back, fearing that they’d evoke rain - and the rain would disturb the clear water that was projecting the ones who gave me a reason to live in the first place. As Landen picked up my limp body and began to run, I jogged along the water’s edge, refusing to lose sight of him. I felt Nathaniel eagerly follow me.
Landen didn’t run to Pelhan’s; he ran to Esterious. He knew my father was there, that everyone that could possibly help me was there.
Chapter Fifteen
Landen raced through the passage to the palace and down the hallway that led to Perodine’s study. Drake screamed for Alamos as they ran. The servants they passed scattered to find help for them. When Landen reached the study, he found August and Perodine hovering over the scrolls. When Perodine’s eyes saw my body, grief exploded inside of her, then adrenaline seemed to kick in.
“Take her to the water – run!” she screamed.
Landen raced past them and carefully weaved through the doorway. Once in the observatory, he rushed to the pool and threw himself over the edge, holding on to my body for dear life. Once my medallion, my necklace touched the water, it turned to pure white; it almost looked like Landen was holding me in a pool of milk.
His fear of losing me was clear in his shattered composure. Drake crashed into the water next, and when he reached Landen and my body, he began to flow the water over my face. Perodine dove in the water and reached for my body; she had to struggle to get Landen to release me. Alamos was seconds behind Perodine, then my father made it to my side. Brady and Marc rushed the door of the observatory and dove in the water, then struggled to hold back Landen and Drake as August pushed past them to help Perodine and Alamos.
Landen fought against Brady’s grip. “Let me go! Tell me what’s wrong so I can heal her! Jason, SPEAK to me!” I knew Landen had the power to easily push Brady away, but his emotions had made him weak; he was falling apart.
My father looked back at Landen. “Her body is perfect; that’s not what’s wrong,” he said in a horrified tone.
“Then what’s wrong?!” Drake screamed.
“Are you sure she’s not meditating? Should you have moved her?!” Brady asked, finally losing his grip on Landen. Landen dove though the water and wrapped his arms around my waist, then buried his face in my neck. I could feel his agony, his anger.
Alamos waded to the side of the pool, and August followed with the intent to help bring anything that would save me there. Perodine reached for my necklace, which was floating to the surface, and pushed it beneath the water; at that moment, the water became so white that it lit the gray stone walls.
“She isn’t mediating; her soul is here, but it’s fading,” she said to the room.
Everyone froze, and the heavy weight of silence filled the room. Drake stopped his struggle against Marc’s hold and fell to his knees in the water.
I hadn’t noticed, but by following the images in the water, Nathaniel and I had almost reached the base of the mountain. I looked up at him, stunned, too scared to show any emotion; instead, I stood speechless, staring at his innocent face, trying to understand where I was – where these images were. It felt as if my sanity were escaping me. He stepped forward and pulled my stiff body to his. I felt his compassion, and I couldn’t hold back my sea of emotions. I squeezed him, and as the tears fell, the rain began. When the anger for the demon I was chasing surfaced, the wind whipped around us - and when my mind replayed the image of Landen holding my vacant body surfaced, thunder exploded above us.
“That was then; we haven’t reached now – and you still have control over what will be,” Nathaniel said to me as he pulled me closer.
I focused on what will be: me spending the rest of my life begging Landen to forgive me for putting him through this.
Nathaniel put his arm around me and began to lead me closer to the base of the mountain, where I could see an opening in its flawless gray stone. Nathaniel was leading me into a cave, and as we walked, I watched Alamos roll a table with glass sides into the observatory. He was greeted with immediate protest, most aggressively from Drake, who knew instantly what the box’s purpose was. Landen was consumed with grief, but when he felt Drake’s obvious anger and denial, he focused on what Alamos was doing and began to protest just as loudly, if not louder than Drake.
The box was just like the one Alamos had placed Adonia in – his daughter that he’d preserved. In his grief, he’d thought that if my soul took her body, he’d have us both once again, and me and Drake would have a way to be together.
My stomach started to turn as the thought of my body being trapped in time consumed me. My father and August played the part of the peacemakers, convincing Drake and Landen to allow my body to just lay on the satin white pillow, for them to cover my cold body with a silk sheet to keep me warm. The glass sides remained down, and servants brought in stools and placed them beside me for Drake and Landen. A podium was brought in for Alamos. He then placed a large book across the aged wood and began to read random passages from it.
Just when the room seemed to agree with the trepidation, Dane walked in. He looked at my body, which was growing paler each moment, then looked at Drake. “What did you do to her?” Dane asked in an angry tone.
Drake had his head down on the pillow next to my body; once he heard Dane’s voice, his head shot up, then he charged across the room at him. Dane was slammed into the wall with Drake’s energy seconds before Drake actually reached him. Once he did, Drake held his arm across his neck with the look of pure hatred burning in his dark eyes. “Where...were...you?” Drake growled through his teeth.
Landen never looked up from my body. Brady and Marc tried to pull Drake off Dane, but Drake’s energy casually pushed them back.
“Tell me! The almighty protector of Willow! Where...were...you?!” Drake said again.
Dane didn’t answer; he just stared back with the same, if not more, hatred. Alamos cautiously walked to Drake, looked over Dane carefully, then let his hand rest on Drake’s shoulder. “This will not bring her back. I would even advise that it’s making what’s left of her soul weak,” Alamos said in a voice just above a whisper.
Drake’s jaw tightened, then he grabbed Dane’s shirt and pulled him to the doorway that led to the study and pushed him through. “If you pass this threshold, I’ll kill you before anyone has the notion to stop me!”
As Drake made his threat, everyone looked at Landen, only to find him unconcerned about the well-being of Dane. Drake turned to Alamos and pointed to his podium, telling him to get to work. Perodine and August looked at each other, then made their way to the study. Drake let his body release some of the tension that had bound him before he walked back to my body’s side.
“I don’t know what to do,” Marc said, looking at Brady.
Landen never looked up when he answered. “Make sure everyone else is still safe. Find Chrispin, bring him here.”
Brady walked over to Landen and let his hand rest on his shoulder to offer some comfort before he and Marc left. Alamos was now the only one left with Drake and Landen, and he began scrambling through the pages of his tattered book, speaking random phrases in an array of different languages.
Nathaniel and I had now reached the cave, and the only difference in the reflection I was seeing was the darkness from the open ceiling of the observatory. I looked up at him and said, “The present isn’t any better. I need to go. How do I go?”
Nathaniel looked at the water, then back to me. “I don’t think your time is here yet.”
His lack of concern for the pain I was bringing to my family infuriated me. “Do you not see what I’ve done?!” I shouted.
His sympathy immediately rose. “No, I cannot see your life. We only see our own, but it’s not time.”
I looked at the water again, to my ghostly, pale body, to the glass sure to encase me. “Would you tell me if it was already too late?” I asked, prepared to judge his intent and emotion, desperately trying to grasp reality - fearing I’d gone mad.
Suddenly, I felt every emotion I was feeling rushing back to me, then I heard, “It’s never too late to begin again,” from an angelic voice.
As I slowly looked to the opening of the cave, rage and jealousy immediately consumed me. The night we destroyed the original looking glass, the night I faced the worst image I’d ever seen suddenly came rushing back to me. The beautiful girl, the one who pulled Landen’s lips to hers, was standing there. My emotion was reflected in the atmosphere as the wind howled and thunder crashed.
“You,” I said with an angry growl. “You’ve trapped me here so you can take Landen!” I stepped forward and threw a wall of energy at her, but she blocked the force and pushed it back to me. We then both stepped closer, holding a calm expression, both feeling uncontrollable rage and jealousy.
“You’re the devil!” I screamed. As the images of the people who were trapped came to me, lightning exploded in the opening behind her.
“I am
not
the devil – I’m
you
!” she yelled over the roaring thunder.
I furrowed my eyebrows as rage came across my face. “You locked him in a shield and made him think I was you – how dare you put us through that?!”
She stepped forward, showing strength equal to mine. “ I saved him,” she said calmly.
I felt her trying to calm both me and her, but the image of her kissing Landen was too strong in my mind, “You couldn’t have just stood there? No, you had to kiss him, look adoringly at him while I watched!”
She looked at the water, then to me. She tilted her head slightly. “How many times have you kissed another?” she asked.
As guilt washed over me, I let my energy fall. “That’s not fair. Most of the times, I didn’t even know who I was – and the others, they never meant anything. I only love one.”
“As do I,” she said, letting her wall of energy fall.
Confusion consumed me. This couldn’t be Aella; she didn’t look like me at all. “Who are you?”
Nathaniel stepped cautiously between us and faced me. “ Aella,” he answered.
I shook my head no. “Do twins not look alike?” I asked as I glanced at the water, to Landen laying his head at my side; at that moment, I couldn’t care less about discovering that I was right, that there was another that should love Drake.
“Likeness is in the eye of the beholder,” Nathaniel said quietly.
“He’ll never believe you,” I whispered, thinking of Drake, feeling hopeless. As I took in that emotion, the air grew frigid and snow drifted through the opening of the cave.
“When his time comes, when he stands before his soul mate, no one will need to convince him. For now, you must fill that void,” Nathaniel said with sympathy.
“When? Are you crazy? The time is
now
!” I yelled with the thunder that roared with my emotions.
Aella shook her head no.
“What more do you want?! Have you not been watching? Do you not understand?” I said as angry tears washed down my face.
“I understand that I’m a reflection of what you need to see right now. I understand that you’re blind to the power within your soul – at war with your mind,” Aella said.
“You know what? Forget it. I’m going now. I can’t stand here and know that I’m hurting them this way,” I said, turning to go to the water.
Instantly, Nathaniel’s fear grew, and he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. “It’s not time,” he whispered.
“You said you couldn’t see what I see; tell me how you know,” I demanded through gritted teeth, knowing he believed the emotion he was portraying.
“Trust me,” Nathaniel said as he struggled against my energy.