VITTORIO'S WOMAN (The Vittorio Series) (5 page)

He’d tried to drive her away by pretending to be attracted to her, and when that didn’t work, he reverted back to being an impossible ogre.
  She could deal with a Simon who snarled and snapped at her; it hurt a lot less than having him kiss her knowing it meant nothing at all.  It was also easier to keep the longing out of her voice when he was being so difficult because his antagonistic comments demanded sharp responses that masked how she really felt for him.

Simon resented that his efforts to chase her off had been to no avail, though she suspected he also respected her for not backing down.
  And as much as he grumbled about the rigorous exercises she put him through each day, she could also tell he was relieved they were slowly reversing the muscle deterioration in his legs.  He was eating regularly and had gained back some of the weight he’d lost, and Lilly’s insistence that he spend some time outdoors each day had brought color back to his face. 

He’d been having trouble sleeping the past few nights, but that was understandable because tomorrow he would be taking the helicopter to the mainland to have his eyes checked.
  Tomorrow could make or break him, and Lilly’s heart ached for the pain of uncertainty he was going through right now.

Rolling onto her side, Lilly closed her eyes and willed herself to fall asleep.
  She wouldn’t be going with him tomorrow, but it was still going to be along day because she knew she’d spend the entire time pacing the floors until she heard from Milana about Simon’s condition.  The chances were excellent that his sight wouldn’t be impaired at all, but there was always the possibility, however slight, that he would be totally blind.  Simon would need her to be strong and she couldn’t very well be at her best with only a few hours of sleep. 

Lilly burrowed beneath the covers and was just starting to drift off when something jerked her back into a full wakeful state.
  It was impossible that any noise from within the house could have woken her because the rooms were virtually soundproof.  It was one of the things she enjoyed most about the nights here because the only sounds that ever invaded her room were the ones she invited by opening her balcony doors.  But she’d left them closed tonight and it wasn’t likely that the soothing sound of ocean waves curling to shore would have roused her.  She lay there for several minutes before she heard it; the unmistakable baritone of Simon’s voice calling out her name. 

Lilly threw back the covers and rushed into Simon’s room, terrified that he might have fallen out of bed and hurt himself.
  To her enormous relief, she could see his shadowed form still safely settled in the middle of the bed where she’d left him before going to her own room earlier that night.  Guided by the moonlight filtering in through the open balcony doors, Lilly made her way to his side and leaned over him.

“I’m here,” she said softly.
 

“Lilly?”
 he croaked.  “Is it time to get up already?”

“No, no it’s not.
  I thought…I’m sorry I woke you.  I thought I heard you calling for me.”  There was a moment of silence before his hand snaked across the bed to cover hers.

“Perhaps I did.
  My head hurt.  I had trouble falling asleep, but I guess I must have finally slept because I was dreaming of you.”

Lilly smiled into the darkness.
  “Do I dare ask what the dream was about?”

Simon laughed softly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
  “Nothing that would make you blush,
cara mia
.  We were in the gardens and you disappeared down one of the paths so I called out for you to come back.”

He didn’t tell her that he’d been unable to follow her because his wheelchair got stuck in the moist soil, or the overwhelming feeling of panic that had engulfed him when she didn’t return.
  He could hear her light-hearted laughter floating back to him but it was getting further and further away and Simon had been struck with the numbing fear he would lose her forever.  He’d struggled out of his chair and fallen flat on his face, his fingers clawing at the ground, dragging the dead weight of his body forward inch by inch in a desperate attempt to follow her.  He knew he would never reach her, just as he knew he would never give up trying, and that’s when he’d cried out her name.

“How is your head, does it still hurt?”

“It is tension I expect.  Foolish of me to worry over things I cannot control, is it not?”

“Everything will be fine, Simon, I just know it will.”

“I wish I was as confident, maybe then my head would not pound so incessantly.”

“Would you like me to get you some aspirin?”

“No drugs,” he said firmly, “it will go away by itself.”

“Maybe I can help.
  It’s something my mother used to do when I had migraines.  Would you let me try?”

“No drugs?”

“No drugs.”  Lilly eased her hand from beneath his then crawled up on the bed beside him and propped a pillow against the head board and leaned back.  “Roll on your side and put your head in my lap.”

“This does not sound like the cure for a headache,” Simon teased.

“Just do it,” she ordered.  “And if you don’t want your fingers broken, I suggest you keep your hands from wandering.”

He turned on his side, reaching beneath the covers to adjust the position of his legs before nestling his head on the softness of Lilly’s thighs.
  He felt her fingertips slowly sift through his hair, breathing a sigh of sheer contentment when she repeated the motion over and over.  Whether it was her gentle caresses or simply the comfort of having his body curled into Lilly’s warmth, Simon didn’t know, but within minutes the throbbing headache that had plagued him half the night dulled and then dissipated altogether.

He should have told her, should have let her go back to her own bed, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
  A few more minutes, he silently vowed, a few more minutes and then he would let her go.  That was the last thing he remembered before sleep overtook him.

 
                                                              ***

Lilly woke with a start when she heard the light tap on her bedroom door.
  Breakfast.  Luisa always left their breakfast outside Simon’s door so Lilly could eat with him out on his balcony.  Still groggy from the lack of sleep from the night before, she was reluctant to get up.  But if Luisa had already left their trays, it meant she’d overslept and would have to hurry to get Simon up and dressed before it got cold.  She stared at the door for several minutes, trying to grasp an elusive thought when it suddenly dawned on her that it was always Simon’s room that Luisa brought the meals to.  And if that was Simon’s door she was staring at, then that meant…

“Good morning,
mio bello
,” Simon’s deep voice sounded behind her, “I trust you slept as well as I did.”

“Oh, God,” Lilly groaned in pure mortification.
  “Simon, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” 

She tried to sit up, fully intending to flee to the safety of her own room as quickly as possible, but Simon apparently had other ideas.
  Before she’d even shoved the blankets aside, he pulled her back down, pinning her to his chest with an iron grip.  Fighting him wasn’t an option; she was locked too tightly in his arms to move more than a fraction of an inch.  Even if she hadn’t been, Lilly had gone far too long without the feel of his lips on hers and didn’t have the will to resist.  She would hate herself later, there was no question about that, but right now she was too busy devouring his mouth to give it much thought.

“Breakfast,” she rasped hoarsely when he let her up for air, “it’s getting cold.”

“That is not what I hunger for,
mi amore
.” 

Simon drew her head back down and ground his mouth into hers, the heat of desire inflamed by the soft rolling moan that caught and held in her throat.
  He couldn’t get enough of her; couldn’t kiss her enough, touch her enough, love her enough.  He pulled her more firmly against him, needing more than anything to prove to Lilly that he was still a man, that he still had the ability to satisfy her sexually even if he was limited to only a few positions. 

“I want you,” Simon whispered, “more than I have ever wanted any woman in my life.”
  He feathered kisses down the side of her face and back up again.  “Make love to me, Lilly.  Give back to me what fate has taken away.  Make me whole again, make me
feel
again.”   

Lilly trembled in his arms.
  “Simon, you don’t know what you’re asking.  I can’t…oh, please don’t look so unhappy, this is difficult enough.”

“Why can’t you?”
 he demanded sharply.  “Is it because I am a…”  Lilly’s fingers pressed against his lips.

“Don’t say it, don’t even think it.
  You know I want you too, it’s just that…” 
I love you and you’ll only end up breaking my heart
.  “You’re my patient, Simon.  Surely you can see how wrong it would be.”

“Then kissing me like this is wrong too,
cara
?”

“Yes, and I shouldn’t have done it.”

“But you did,” he reasoned softly, “and since you have already committed one transgression, why not another?”

Lilly’s lip twitched in amusement.
  “You make it sound almost reasonable.”

Simon’s hand glided down her spine, past the small of her back and settled possessively on the curve of her bottom.
  “You want me,” he pulled her more firmly against his erection, “and you can feel how much I want you.  How can it be wrong to fulfill each other’s desires?”

“What about my job, my responsibilities?”

“If that is all that stands between us, then I have the perfect solution.”

“What…”
  Lilly’s train of thought was momentarily derailed when Simon slipped his roving hand beneath her nightie to caress her bare thigh.  “What is this perfect solution of yours?”

“It is so simple,” he whispered against her lips.
  “All I have to do…is fire you.”

“You can’t fire me, Simon.”

“I can and I will,” he
was adamant.  “I need you, Lilly, and if that is the only way I can have you, I will do it.”

“But if you fire me, there wouldn’t be any reason for me to stay here.
  No,” she shook her head, “I’ve never done a one night stand and I don’t intend to start now.”

“I am not asking for just one night with you,
cara mia
.”

“Then what are you asking for, Simon, that I become your live-in lover?”

“Why not?”

“For one thing, I can’t just give up your therapy.
  We’ve made so much progress…”

Simon’s face hardened.
  “What progress is that?  I am just as helpless now as when you first came here.”

“You were
never
helpless, and how can you say there’s been no progress?  Your muscle tone is better, your general overall health is better, and your disposition has certainly undergone a dramatic face lift over the past week.”

“For all the good it has done, I still cannot walk.”

“Give it time,” she pleaded, “you
will
walk again, I just know it.” 

Simon’s arms dropped to his sides.
  “So that is why you are rejecting me.  You do not see me as a man because my legs do not work. 
Dio
, what was I thinking?”

Lilly rolled away from him and sat up.
  She couldn’t bear to see him like this, couldn’t tolerate knowing she was the cause of his pain, but what could she do?  She had no experience with men, had never gone past kissing and a little fondling.  What could she possibly offer a man like Simon who dated models and socialites that knew how to please him in bed?  She would bore him to tears and the affair would end before it even had the chance to begin.  And then what?  She couldn’t just leave without doing everything in her power to get him back on his feet.

Lilly glanced back at him, her heart wrenching at the grim look on his face.
  It was the same expression he’d worn when she walked into his room that first day. 
Hope
.  Hope was the key to healing a wounded heart, the gift that Lilly had always been able to give her patients.  But she hadn’t given Simon hope just now, instead she’d snatched it away, and somehow she knew what she did in the next few minutes would either breathe new life into him or shatter his life forever.  She wouldn’t let him down, but neither could she let herself down.  A slow smile spread across Lilly’s face.  As Simon had so aptly pointed out, it was so simple.

“Send Gaetano up to help me dress,” he said brusquely when Lilly shifted away from him and climbed out of bed.

Let her go
, he commanded himself.  He didn’t need her, he didn’t need anyone.  So what if her kisses set him on fire or the scent of her skin drove him half wild with desire?  Let her go, and the memories of those kisses would fade in time.  He would forget the way his heart leapt whenever she touched him, the same heart that now felt as if it was being ripped from his chest.  Time would erase the sound of her laughter and he would be grateful for it because once she was gone he didn’t want to remember anything about her.  That’s what Simon told himself, and that’s what he believed right up to the moment he heard her walking away.

“Lilly, do not…”
  No, he wouldn’t give in to the panic welling up inside him.  “Do not forget to send for Gaetano.”

He turned his head away, steeling himself against the pain he knew would come once she walked out the door.
  He waited in breathless agony for the sound of her retreating footsteps, clenching his teeth to keep himself from calling out and begging her to stay.  When the soft patter of bare feet against the hardwood floor finally came, Simon’s brows drew together in confusion.  Why was she heading for the door leading to the hallway instead of going to her own room?  He listened intently, hope blooming like the first flower of spring when he heard the soft click as she locked the door and returned to his bedside.

“I have an idea,” Lilly said as she pulled her nightgown over her head and let it flutter to the floor.
  “You can rehire me…after we make love.”

Simon’s breath caught his throat.
  He knew what that soft rustling meant, knew that she was standing there in nothing but the lacy panties he’d discovered when his hand had traveled up her silky thigh only moments ago.  Another soft rustling made him groan out loud for he could only imagine what she looked like now that she’d shimmied out of the tiny scrap of lace. 

He lay there as still as a statue, afraid to do or say anything that might induce her to change her mind.
  But when she came to him, when the heat of her body chased away the chill that had settled in his bones and her kisses sent a throbbing ache to his groin that begged for release, Simon couldn’t contain himself any longer.

“
Mio amore, mia vita
,” he murmured with mounting passion, “do you know what you do to me?”  He took her hand and pressed a kiss to the palm then brought it to his chest.  “Feel how my madly my heart beats for you,
cara
.”

Lilly closed her eyes for a moment, the slamming rhythm of her own heart matching the thunderous pounding beneath her fingertips.
  She drew her hand away and brought her mouth to the very same spot, letting her lips linger to savor the taste of his skin before she brought them back to his mouth.  A hungry growl rumbled deep in his throat and Lilly drew back in surprise when the muscles in her abdomen clenched in fierce response.

“What is it,
cara
?”

“Nothing, it’s just…I feel strange.”

“Strange?”  Simon reached out and pulled her down on top of him.  “Tell me how you feel now, Lilly.  Do you still feel strange?”

“Oh
, yes,” she purred as his hands began a slow exploration of her body.  “I’ve never felt this way before.  It’s like…like when you take a shot of whiskey and it warms you from the inside out.”  She squirmed against him, loving the way his firm muscles felt against the softness of her own body.  “I want…I want to touch you Simon,” she said in a hoarse whisper. 

Air hissed from his lungs.
  “
Si, mio tesoro
.  My darling, touch me.”

Emboldened by the desperate need in his voice, Lilly sat up and straddled his thighs, noting with a great deal of satisfaction that Simon’s breathing had become decidedly ragged.
  She splayed her fingers across his chest, enthralled by the soft tufts of hair that trailed from his pectoral muscles to his ribbed abs; a trail she followed with slow, sweeping motions until it was no longer good enough just to touch him.  She wanted to take him inside of her and put an end to this aching need, to experience the joy of becoming part of him. 

Lilly leaned forward intending to kiss Simon and was instantly assaulted by a series of violent tremors when the shift in her position brought the sensitive flesh between her thighs up against his rigid length.
  Intense waves of pleasure rolled over her, through her, and for a few mind shattering minutes Lilly was powerless to do anything but ride the glorious sensations to the end. 

Embarrassment quickly followed on the heels of elation; surely it wasn’t normal to climax before they’d even made love!
  She was disappointed in herself for having lost control, and Simon obviously shared that emotion because he was delivering a long string of muttered Italian phrases and looking rather grim at the moment.

Wanting nothing more than to race back to her room and hide under the covers for the rest of her life
, and certain Simon would be happy to let her go, Lilly attempted to move off of him.  But Simon would have nothing of it, easily restraining her by keeping his hands planted firmly on each hip.  She grew even more anxious when his hands slid up her ribs and glided around to cup her breasts. 

He had to know she’d already climaxed so why was he still trying to arouse her instead of taking his own pleasure?
  She’d ruined it for both of them because there was no way he could get her as hot as she’d…oh!  Lilly drew in a sharp breath when his thumbs raked over the peaks of her breasts.  She could feel them grow taut, beading into hard pebbles as a soft electrical current wound a path downwards and coiled in the depths of her abdomen. 

“Simon,” she gasped as the throbbing need began to escalate.
  “Simon, tell me what to do.” 

Desperation tinged her voice but she didn’t care, she didn’t care about anything except reaching that same blissful state she’d been in only moments ago.
  She squirmed against him, frustrated that she couldn’t seem to find any relief in spite of the immense pleasure she was deriving from his industrious hands. 

“Easy,
cara
,” he crooned, “I will take care of you.”

Simon let his hands drop to her waist, the trembling of her slender body nearly driving him over the edge.
  Gritting his teeth, he lifted her up just enough to position himself then slowly eased her back down.  Lilly’s body resisted the invasion for several agonizing moments before  finally opening up enough for him to inch his way into her heated warmth.  Her inner muscles clenched around him, so excruciatingly tight that Simon immediately abandoned all hope of lasting more than few minutes.  Gripping Lilly’s hips, he lifted her up then brought her down hard, an animalistic growl rumbling deep in his chest as the sexual pleasure of being inside of her engulfed him. 

There had been many women in his life, in his bed, but none of them had even come close to making him feel the way Lilly did.
  Again and again he lifted her up, drove her back down, as if he could somehow brand her body with his if he could only bury himself deep enough.  Lilly was
his
, she belonged to him, and any memories she had of other men would be erased by the power of his love making, he would see to that. 
Mio Dio
, he thought feverishly,
had any man ever loved a woman as much as he loved Lilly?
 

“Simon, please,” she cried out raggedly.
  “It’s too much, it…
oh, God
,” she moaned as the heavy coiling inside of her tightened.

It was time to release her, time to release them both from this sweet agony.
  If only he could have rolled her beneath him and surged into her incredible heat until she was writhing in ecstasy and panting for breath.  He wanted to see her creamy skin flushed with color, watch as those beautiful blue eyes of hers grew dazed from his amorous love making.  He’d never been anything but confident in his ability to please a woman before, but now as he lay there unable to do anything but blindly guide Lilly, he worried if it was as amazing for her as it was for him. 

As quickly as that disconcerting thought entered his head
, it was snatched away by the sudden change in rhythm.  Apparently the inhibitions Lilly experienced when she’d first taken him inside of her had been lost in her quest to find fulfillment.  Simon forgot all about his need to maintain control over his lover, forgot everything but the mounting excitement as her hips rose and fell, moving faster and faster until he thought he would die from the sheer pleasure of it. 

His heart thundered in his chest, he could barely draw in a quick breath before it was taken away again, and the scorching heat that was burning inside of him threatened to consume him altogether.
  Simon ground out her name between clenched teeth as the first devastating wave hit him, only vaguely aware that Lilly had called out his name at the same time.  For several mind-numbing seconds his entire body went rigid as a board before a series of spasms ripped through him. 

It was like being caught in a tidal wave
, and for all his years of experience and the countless women he had taken to bed, it was the first time Simon had ever felt completely helpless.  He had no control, none whatsoever.  It was Lilly who controlled everything now; with each rocking motion she controlled his body, her soft throaty moans captivating his heart, his mind, his soul.  And then she climaxed; her liquid heat enveloping him, triggering his own shuddering release along with a rush of emotion so strong it mule kicked him square in the chest. 

Simon wound his arms around Lilly and pulled her mouth down onto his.
  Her lips were soft and warm and she kissed him back with such tenderness it tugged at his heart, but there was something different, something not quite right about it too.  It was only when he drew her closer and deepened the kiss that he realized what was wrong.  Simon cupped her face in his hands, frowning at the moisture on her cheeks. 

“
Cara
,” he said with alarm, “why are you crying?”

A maelstrom of emotions rushed at
Lilly from all sides; guilt, remorse, fear, happiness, love, and a deep feminine satisfaction that only stirred up the pot of jumbled emotions even more.  How could she tell him why she was crying when she couldn’t even explain it herself?  The only thing she knew for certain at that moment was she loved Simon Vittorio more than life itself and that she would wither into nothingness when it came time to leave him.