Voice of the Heart (36 page)

Watching him intently, Katharine now recognized and with a sense of dismay, that Kim’s anger was not going to dissipate as rapidly as she had anticipated. He had never acted in this manner before, when she had adroitly sidestepped him, slithering out of his embraces, laughing lightly, reproving him, but sweetly so, making plausible excuses. She asked herself if Kim was going to become a problem in the way the others had been a problem, and her heart
dropped. She did not relish the idea of having to fight him off physically, which inevitably became ugly and unpleasant. In the past she had always been able to deal with him without affronting him. In her own way Katharine loved Kim, and she had set her heart on marrying him. She was fully aware that she could not afford to hurt him again, not like this, and perhaps lose him in the process, simply because she baulked at lovemaking.

Her eyes rested on him. He looked so handsome in his Anglo-Saxon way, with his pleasant, open and sensitive face and fine eyes and fair hair. Perhaps it was his very English-ness, as well as his refinement and his aristocratic bearing, that was so appealing.

‘Kim…’ she began in her silkiest voice.

‘Yes?’ he responded frostily.

She ignored the tone and gave him a look guaranteed to warm the hardest of hearts. ‘We have tomorrow, darling. I’ll be feeling better by then and—’

‘We don’t have tomorrow,’ he told her peremptorily. ‘I haven’t had a chance to tell you, but I’m afraid my father has cancelled the dinner.’

Surprise registered in Katharine’s eyes and she stared at him. ‘Oh!’ she said after a pause, and then, most carefully, ‘Might I ask the reason why?’ She had not considered the Earl to be an obstacle and this announcement momentarily threw her off balance.

‘The old man had a call from the bailiff at Langley, earlier this evening. Some pipes have burst and ruined parts of the panelling in the Widow’s Gallery where a lot of the family portraits by Gainsborough, Lely and Romney hang. Fortunately, none of the paintings has been damaged, but my father is worried the leak might have spread to other areas underneath the panelling. Areas not visible. We have to get to Langley as quickly as possible. We’re leaving for Yorkshire at the crack of dawn.’

‘Oh Kim, I am sorry! Really and truly,’ Katharine said
with absolute sincerity. ‘It must be awfully worrying for your father… and you, too, of course. How awful.’ Disappointed though she was, she forced a smile on to her face. And then she admitted the truth, as she said, ‘I thought perhaps your father didn’t like me, didn’t approve of me.’ Her voice, low and quiet, sounded so plaintive and she was gazing at Kim with such a woebegone expression in her eyes, he was suddenly unable to sustain his anger. His rage fell away as swiftly as it had attacked him.

‘Don’t be a silly goose. He thinks you’re smashing. And so do I. I suppose that’s the root of the problem.’ Kim gave her a gentle smile, quickly replaced by a shamefaced look, and there was an echo of con triteness as he added, ‘Sorry I was so cross. It’s well… as I said, I do adore you, and you’ve kept me at arm’s length for ages.’ He attempted a cheery laugh, not very successfully. ‘Come to think of it, you were much more… responsive, shall we say, when we first met. I expect that’s why I became so furious tonight. You are very baffling, you know.’

Katharine did not answer immediately. She sought a way to appease him further, make amends and bind him to her. Why not tell him the truth. Instantly she changed her mind. Partial truths were infinitely more appropriate, so much easier to deal with, and by everyone. She patted the sofa. ‘Please, Kim, come here. I’d like to explain about tonight. At least try.’

He sat down beside her, and she took his hand in hers, stroking it, playing with his strong fingers absently. ‘I adore you too, you know, as I’ve tried to tell you in different ways lately. And because I care about you, I can’t play games with you. Lead you on, tease you, get you all excited and then turn you down. I think that would be cruel and provocative. That’s why I’ve kept you at a distance.’ She draped her arms around his neck, lightly, loosely, and stared deeply into his eyes. Then she kissed him on the lips, a long slow kiss that was equally as passionate as any he had given her. She drew
away and touched his cheek. ‘But despite my strong feelings, I do want to be sure about us and our deepest emotions before taking that last step. I’m not promiscuous, Kim.’

‘Oh, gosh, Katharine, I never thought you were!’ he protested fiercely.

‘My being chaste with you is as difficult for me as it is for you, Kim,’ she told him, bending the truth. ‘When you became so angry a little while ago I couldn’t stand it. I… I…’ Katharine broke off dramatically and dropped her head, and when she raised it tears were welling in her eyes and glistening on her black lashes. ‘I couldn’t bear to lose you, darling. It would break my heart.’ She took a deep breath. The tears spilled over and trickled down her cheeks in little rivulets. ‘So if you still want to… now… I mean… ‘She moved closer to him, pressing her body invitingly against his and kissed him deeply, her hands playing with the tendrils of hair on the back of his neck.

Kim was astonished at her sudden reversal, but before he could sort things out in his head, he felt himself being carried along with her, staggered yet again by the extraordinary sexual power she had over him. His heart was hammering, blood rushed up into his face and he was aroused and losing control. And then, just as he was about to sweep her up in his arms and carry her into the bedroom, some deep-rooted instinct told him to resist this impulse.

Gently, and with a great deal of effort, he extracted himself. He held her away from him, his hands firm on her arms. ‘No,’ he said, his voice gruff. ‘You’re only trying to please me. I want it the way you want it. When it’s exactly right for you. When you feel ready. It has to be perfect between us, Katharine…’ He looked down into her face, upturned to his and awash with sweetness and innocence, and his heart tightened. He said impetuously, ‘And that will only be when we’re married.’ He had surprised himself. He had not intended to propose just yet, but now that he had, he was glad. It struck him then that Katharine had always been
different from the other women he had known, because she was extra special and important to him. Undoubtedly this was the real reason why he had always treated her so… so… reverently.

Katharine’s heart seemed to soar at his words. For a moment she was speechless, and she simply stared into his eyes, her own still sparkling with tears.

Kim lifted his hand and wiped her cheeks with the tips of his fingers, first one and then the other. ‘There, I’ve said it. Now you know how much I care.’ He smiled a little lopsidedly. ‘I’m in love with you, Katharine.’ His eyes remained on her face. And he waited.

‘I love you, too,’ she whispered finally.

‘And you will marry me, won’t you, darling?’ he asked anxiously, taking her hands in his.

‘Yes,’ Katharine murmured, her eyes sparkling. ‘I want to very much, Kim.’ She bit her lip and said hesitantly, ‘But I also want us to be very sure about each other.’

‘I am sure! Aren’t you?’ he cried nervously.

She nodded, her face radiant. ‘Oh yes, I’m pretty sure I’m sure.’

Kim relaxed. ‘I’ll have to speak to the old man, before we get engaged.’

‘Don’t! At least, not yet.’

‘Why ever not? You said you’d marry me, and I think he ought to be told of my very serious intentions, our intentions!’ he exclaimed excitedly.

‘Yes, he should,’ she agreed, adding in that same beguiling voice, ‘However, perhaps it’s wiser not to spring it on him for the moment. I feel he ought to get better acquainted with me, just as we should get to know each other a bit more intimately—’

‘Splendid idea!’ he cut in, laughing, and breaking the tension between them.

Katharine laughed too. ‘I didn’t mean it that way, you wolf! Look, Kim, we’ve only been dating a few months and
a lot of that time you’ve been in Yorkshire. Let’s wait a while before we announce our engagement. Let’s keep our feelings a secret for the moment. Our secret. Promise?’

‘Can’t I tell Francesca?’

Katharine shook her head.

‘All right, I promise.’ He sounded reluctant.

‘How long will you be in Yorkshire this time?’ she asked, adopting her plaintive little girl’s voice and widening her eyes prettily.

‘A few weeks. Which reminds me, getting back to the cancelled dinner. Father is going to ’phone you tomorrow, some time late morning, to apologize, and also to invite you to Langley for a weekend. You will come, won’t you? I think you should see where you’re going to live, and in the not too distant future if I get my way.’

‘Oh yes, Kim! Of course. I’d love it. When does he want me to come for the visit?’

‘Oh any time in the next month. Actually, he’s going to invite Victor and Nicholas Latimer to join us at the same time. He rather liked them, Victor especially. Doris Aster-nan will be there, and the old man wants to make it a nice, jolly weekend house party. Gus will be able to drive you up together on a Saturday night after the play. Just as you suggested to Victor, if you remember.’

‘Yes,’ Katharine replied in a subdued tone. ‘How kind of your father.’

‘Then it’s settled.’ Kim took her in his arms and held her close to him, stroking her hair. He lifted her face and kissed her, but pulled away after one kiss, suddenly brimming with laughter. ‘I think you’d better throw me out, before I forget I’m a gentleman, and take you up on that tempting offer you made me a few minutes ago.’

***

Perhaps any other young woman would have agreed at once to become engaged to Kim. He was young, attractive and intrinsically a kind and loving person. He had position, a title
in his own right, and was heir to one of the oldest earldoms in England. In short, he was enormously eligible.

But not Katharine. She was far too intelligent and clever and calculating to rush into the engagement without being assured of the Earl’s blessing. She knew instinctively that, whatever Kim’s feelings, the Earl’s total acceptance of her was crucial. Without his approval, consent, and co-operation, there would be no wedding, of that there was no doubt in her mind. Her shrewdness had prompted the suggestion that the Earl become better acquainted with her. She was confident she could charm him, win him over to her side with the greatest of ease, and in the shortest possible time. However, she was also aware that the engagement of the Earl’s only son and heir would be an occasion for celebration and thus entail all manner of social obligations. Distractions of this nature she could not afford at this time. First she must make the film. That was her most vital priority. And so she had demurred, but she did not believe she was taking a gamble. Katharine was eminently sure of herself, and doubly sure of her place in Kim’s affections.

Now, as she sat relaxing in the bath, she smiled. She had not even considered it a gamble when she had offered herself to him a short while ago. She had enough psychological insight into Kim to understand that his sense of honour and decency would ultimately prevent him from accepting her proposition. Very simply put, his conscience would not permit him to take advantage of a virginal girl. The way she had presented it, with tears and hesitancy, had ensured the outcome. She would never have made the offer if she had believed otherwise.

She lifted a shapely leg and rested her foot on the tap, regarding the pink-painted toenail reflectively. It
is
better to wait a while before announcing our engagement, and later on I’ll convince Kim that I should continue my acting career. Even if he objects at first, I’ll manage to persuade him. Kim will do anything I want, he loves me so much. She smiled
again, filled with happiness, and slipped farther down into the water, so that it lapped around her aching neck and shoulders. She made her body go limp, relaxing completely, and closed her eyes, and the wheels turned endlessly in her head.

It had been an incredible day. Even memorable in one sense, because of Kim’s proposal of marriage. Quite involuntarily she thought of her father. How would he react when he discovered she had married an Englishman and a tided one at that? He hated her, so he wouldn’t care. Inwardly she laughed cynically. But he hated the Sassenachs more, and so he would be furious. How he ranted and raved about the English and what they had done to Ireland. She had grown sick and tired of hearing about the ‘ould sod’ during her childhood, the Potato Famine and the cruelty and the injustices. As if he knew anything about the Potato Famine. It had been long before his time, and anyway he had been born in Chicago. Yes, her father would be irate on principle. The thought of his anger pleased her for she was not without spite where he was concerned.

Well, her life was going to be very different soon, with her success and her fame and her money and her title. And Kim of course. A wonderful life. What a terrible mess Terry has made of
his
life, she thought with a rush of sadness. But she was going to save him. She would soon straighten him out and get his life organized. He would agree to make the film. He had no option really, because of his terrible financial problems.

Hilary
. She was the crux of the matter, not only with Terry but with Mark as well. If she agreed to design the costumes, and there was no reason why she shouldn’t jump at the chance, she could undoubtedly be persuaded to exercise her influence over Mark, to prevail upon him to direct
Wuthering Heights
. Katharine wished she had thought of Hilary Pierce before. If she had, Mark might have been signed up already, and she would have avoided all those
sleepless nights worrying about the right approach to make to him. He adored his wife, who was twenty-two years his junior, and would do anything for her. In turn, Hilary would do anything for Terry.

But would she?

This last possibility had not previously occurred to Katharine and she sat up in the bath with a start. Essen dally, her schemes revolved around the assumption that Hilary still cared for Terry. But did she really? Estelle had said Hilary had drooled over Terry all night at the Standish party several months ago. Naturally she still cares, Katharine reassured herself. What woman could resist the opportunity to help a former lover save his career and extricate himself from the clutches of another female, in this instance Alexa Garrett, who was very beautiful and consequently a threat to most women. It was too tempting by far. But I’ll have to have a very serious talk with Hilary, explain everything to her, so that she understands all the ramifications, Katharine added to herself. Understands that Mark is the vital factor, that he must agree to be the director, otherwise Victor might not sign her as the costume designer.