Authors: Jane Vernon
“£96.37 please” the checkout operator repeats in a bored voice. I pay for the shopping and then struggle through town with the bags to the taxi rank, feeling really guilty. As I get near the taxi rank, I see an old man rattling a collection tin for the RNLI.
“Hello” I say as I walk up to him and put a twenty pound note in the tin. I walk off with a little RNLI sticker proudly stuck on my designer jacket, feeling slightly better about the huge amount of money I’ve just spent on nice food.
I get the taxi to drop me off near the house gates and as I walk up to them, I can’t help but feel apprehensive. I hope I can remember the code. Unhappy visions of me sitting with my bags near the gates waiting for Adam and ending up eating most of the organic bread I’ve bought go through my mind as I approach the keypad with some trepidation. Here goes. I carefully type in the number and the gates swing open. Hurray! I hurry through with my bags, walk up to the house and manage to get the door open. I can hear the burglar alarm starting to beep so I hurry up to the keypad and manage to switch it off okay thank God. I don’t really want Adam to come home to a house surrounded by a SWAT team with helicopters and me with my face down in the gravel with twenty guns pointing at my head. I go through to the kitchen to put everything away and am now feeling quite peckish so I make myself a nice cheese and onion crisp sandwich, grab an apple and the raspberries and walk through into the living room. I’ll eat my lunch and then I think I’ll read my book for a while. This is the life!
* * * *
“Oh thanks,” Adam says later as I give him back the money I didn’t spend. “You could have kept the rest you know – I don’t mind”.
“No – it’s yours!” I protest as we go into the kitchen.
“If you insist” Adam says, “Now – lets have a look what you’ve bought” he says and opens the fridge. “Sea bass - my favourite!” he says, picking up the packet and putting it down again. “And what’s this?” he asks, pulling out a couple of packages and reading the label, “Ooh great – seafood salad and noodles! And steak and mackerel as well! Yum! What are we eating tonight then Gail?” he asks.
“I thought we’d have the sea bass if that’s alright,” I say, getting a couple of pans out of the cupboard “along with the seafood salad and the noodles?”
“Great!” Adam replies.
We cook dinner and then go through into the dining room. As we begin to eat, my mind turns again to going back to work on Monday. I really don’t want to go back.
“This is really nice Gail,” Adam says, taking a huge mouthful of salad. “What’s the matter? You look really down. Don’t you like it?”
“No it’s not the fish” I reply, “The fish is great. I can’t believe that it’s Friday already. I’ve got to go back to work on Monday and I‘m not looking forward to it at all”.
Adam looks at me. “Don’t work then,” he says.
Puzzled, I put my knife and fork down and frown at him. “How do you mean?” I ask.
“Pack it in” Adam replies, between mouthfuls of food. “Leave”.
“I can’t do that! What would I live on?” I say.
“I’ll look after you,” he says simply.
I gape at him as my heart starts to race. “
You’ll
look after me?” I repeat, amazed. “What – pay for everything?”
“Yeah” Adam says and smiles his dazzling smile at me.
“I can’t do that Adam” I say shaking my head, “It doesn’t seem right”.
“Why not?” he asks.
“Well…” I reply, trying to think of what to say, “Relying on you all the time – I mean – can you afford to look after me as well as yourself?”
Adam raises his eyebrows and then smiles at me. “I think we’ll manage,” he says laughing.
“I don’t know Adam” I say, “I mean I’ve always earned my own money. I don’t want to feel like every time I need something – you know, like if I need shampoo or something - I’ve got to keep coming to you and asking for £1.57 or whatever”.
Adam considers this for a moment. “I see what you mean. Tell you what,” he says, finishing his meal and putting his knife and fork together on the plate, “What about if I transfer a few grand into your account every month? That way you can get what you want whenever you need to can’t you?”
My fish seems to get stuck in my throat. “A few grand?” I repeat hoarsely. God! I only earn just over a grand and a half a month after tax and that I’ve had to work bloody hard for. “You’d – you do that?” I ask in disbelief.
“Yeah – is that alright?” Adam asks.
I swallow my food with difficulty. “That’s fine,” I say hastily.
“…And of course I will see to all the bills and stuff” Adam continues, “So you don’t have to worry about any of those – just your own stuff really.”
“Are you sure that’s okay? You’d do that for me?” I ask in wonderment. “Just pay for everything?”
“Yeah why not?” Adam asks smiling. “I really would like you to pack it in Gail – it’s not what you want to do anyway with your life is it?”
“No it’s not” I admit. “But...”
“But what Gail? It would be a lot easier to see you as well, because we do not have to work round your shifts as well as all my matches”.
“I can see what you are saying” I reply smiling, “But what will I do all day?”
“Well, you could go in the swimming pool or the gym or – I don’t know - go shopping, get a dog - whatever you like really” Adam says, shrugging his shoulders. “I just want you to be here with me and I think it would be lovely to come home from training and you be here. So what do you say?”
I don’t say anything for a moment; I just look at him and smile. What did I do to deserve you in a past life? I think to myself. Must have been something bloody brilliant. What – not work and still have more money? Fantastic!
“Okay” I reply.
“Great!” Adam says beaming at me. “Just think - four weeks and then you will be out of there. No more stress! You can sit and write out your notice while I go and put these plates in the dishwasher. I’ll get you some paper and an envelope”. He disappears for a moment then comes back with a sheet of thick creamy coloured paper, a matching envelope and beautiful fountain pen.
“There you go Gail. I’ll just go and take these plates away” and he goes into the kitchen as I pick up the pen. My hands are shaking slightly. Oh my gosh – I can’t believe I am going to leave my job! And have all that money to spend each month!
Yesss!!!! Now – what to put in this letter? I can’t really put:
Dear Personnel
I am handing my notice in because:
I have met a wonderful gorgeous man who has changed my life.
He also earns shed loads and needs someone to spend it for him.
Yours sincerely
Gail Auden
Hmmm. Can’t put that, even though it’s kind of the truth. What about:
Dear Personnel
I am leaving this job because it’s crap.
Yours sincerely
Gail Auden
No. Tempting though. I know what to put and I sit and write my letter out:
Dear Personnel
I am writing to give four weeks notice of my intention to leave the employment of Delightful Plastics as of the date of this letter.
Yours sincerely
Gail Auden
Yes that’s fine. I’ll just write the envelope then I think the champagne beckons. I’m leaving! I’m leaving my job! Hurray!
Adam gives me a lift to work early on Monday morning. I unfasten my seatbelt and put my bag over my shoulder, my letter of resignation clutched tightly in my hand.
“Have a good day and good luck with handing that in,” Adam says as he kisses me goodbye.
“Thanks,” I reply, “I’ll give you a ring later if you like, to let you know how it went”.
“Yeah – please do” Adam says and kisses me again.
“Adam – I’m going to have to go otherwise I will be late for work” I say reluctantly.
“I know, I know,” he says grinning and I move to get out of the car. “Anyway – just think Gail – only a few more weeks and then it will all be over”. I smile as I close the car door and wave as Adam drives off.
I hurry to the entrance and go straight into the Ladies loo. There’s no one in and I stand near the washbasins for a moment, looking at the envelope I’m holding in my hands. Suddenly I feel very nervous. Am I doing the right thing by leaving? I know it’s only a job and it’s not a job that I like very much. I know also though, that my job isn’t the worst job in the world and there are a lot worse jobs you could do for a living – I know all that. But it isn’t for me. This is just something I fell into as I needed to earn some money and it seemed the right thing to do at the time.
But, I think as I tap the envelope against my palm, it is a job I can do and have done well for the last four years. It is my own money I’m earning and spending. To not work at all? To depend on a guy giving me money to spend? Is that really what I want? Will I like having to depend on Adam I wonder? What happens if he gets fed up with
me? What about being independent, earning your own money and not having to rely on a man like women have had to for hundreds of years? I suppose the difference is, is that I can always get another job if things didn’t work out – in the past women simply didn’t have that choice. “That’s right Gail – think positive!” I say aloud to myself.
My mobile phone bleeps and I rest my letter on the very edge of the washbasin unit while I take my mobile out of my bag. It’s a text from Adam:
Good luck today and can’t wait to see you tonight! Love You AX
I look at the text message and then out of the corner of my eye see the diamonds in my bracelet sparkle prettily under the hideous
strip lighting. What the
hell
am I doing? I can’t believe I am even having this debate with myself – am I mad??!! What – not having to go to work at all? Sharing my life with a lovely bloke like Adam? Who said he would look after you? And I even have to
think
about handing my notice in? I must be bloody crackers! I put my mobile phone back in my bag, pick up my letter of resignation and stride out into the corridor. I’m going to tell Alex first – before I hand my resignation in. I shall miss her. God knows what she will say when I tell her.
“You’re leaving?” Alex says, aghast. “Oh no! Why? Have you got another job? You never said you were applying for other jobs!”
“No I’ve not got another job” I say uncomfortably, “Adam – well – he’s – he...” I fumble for the right words, “Well, he said he would look after me”.
“Adam is going to look after you?” Alex repeats, “How do you mean? Are you not going to work at all?”
“Well – no as he earns loads - enough to look after us both”.
Alex gapes at me. “Oh my God! So this is it then? You’re gonna leave! Oh no! I can’t blame you really, I mean who wouldn’t leave? Not have to get up for work every day? No money worries? Oh my God!” She comes round to my desk and hugs me. “You are so lucky!” she says, “What am I going to do without you to talk to every day?”
“Stop it Alex!” I say smiling, yet I can feel my eyes prickling with tears, “I’m going to miss you as well – we’ll still meet up though and go out and stuff” I add, “And I’ve got to work my notice, so I will be here for a few weeks more yet!”
“What’s that?” a voice says from across the room and we look round to see Jill who works with us coming over. “Are you leaving us Gail?” she asks. “You’ve just come back!”
“I know!” I reply smiling as Mark and Brenda walk in.
“Guess what guys? Gail is leaving us!” Jill calls across to them and they also come over to my desk.
“You aren’t are you?” Mark says, looking surprised.
“’Fraid so!” I say and nod.
“Yes – she’s going to be a lady of leisure aren’t you Gail?” Alex says, beaming at me.
“Well - yes” I say and blush.
“How do you mean?” Brenda asks sharply.
“Well she’s got Adam now hasn’t she?” Alex says.
“Oh it must be marvellous to have a super rich fabulous boyfriend” Brenda says, “Bet you think you are above the rest of us now don’t you Gail?” she adds in a sneering tone.
I stare at her. “What?” I say.
“Joke” Brenda says hastily as the supervisor walks in and she, Mark and Jill quickly go back to their desks.
“Good morning” the supervisor says to everyone and goes into the little kitchen to make a drink.
Alex looks at me and then at Brenda’s retreating back with raised eyebrows. “She’s jealous” she says quietly. “You know she likes him and now you’re leaving as well - I think she’s a bit envious”.
“She was probably just a bit surprised that’s all, that I’m leaving,” I say casually. I’m not really bothered what Brenda thinks anyway.
“Hmmm” Alex
murmurs a sceptical look on her face.
“Speaking of which, I’d better go and speak to the supervisor” I say and, picking up my mug go into the kitchen. “Can I speak to you for a moment?” I ask him.