Wait for Me (3 page)

“Tonight, I think.” Ryan rubbed a hand over his forehead. “Julia’s gonna be pretty upset by this. Go by and see her, would ya? Your folks are at the house with her.”

“Yeah, sure thing. You might not be able to get a flight back into San Francisco.”

“I know. I’ll try Oakland or San Jose or Sacramento and drive. I want to get home.”

“Okay. Call me before you leave.”

“Will do. See ya.”

The water had stopped, and Monique’s voice was now louder as she sang with her sexy French accent.

Ryan closed his eyes and pressed the phone to his forehead. He didn’t want to be with her right now. A thousand thoughts and memories and feelings were flooding through him, and none of them were things he wanted to share with her.

She was an attractive woman and he enjoyed her company when it was convenient, but he had no desire to get to know her hopes and dreams. And he certainly didn’t want to share his with her. Or cry about his past. If there were two things he never discussed with anyone, they were his wife and daughter.

He turned back to the TV and clicked it off just as she stepped into the room. She wore a much-too-small towel wrapped around her curvaceous body, her wet, fire-red hair dripping down her back. A wicked smile spread across her lips.

“
Mon cher
.” She crossed the floor, her brick red-painted toes looking oddly like blood splatters on the plush, white carpet. “
Je me suis ennuyé de vous
.”

He knew enough French to know she was trying to lure him back into bed. He pulled away from her suffocating embrace. “I gotta go.”

She batted her long, exotic eyelashes and stuck out her swollen bottom lip in a sexy little pout she’d perfected over the years. “
Non-sens
. You said they aren’t even expecting you until after lunch.
N’était pas par le passé assez
. I want you again.”

Her English was good, but she always slathered on the accent when she was trying to seduce him. He headed for the bathroom. “Yeah, well, as tempting as that is, I have to get to the office.”

She followed, and when she rounded the corner, her eyes narrowed to see him already in his slacks.

“
Bien
,” she sighed in defeat. “I’ll just have to wait for you to get back tonight.” A bright red nail trailed down his bare chest and hovered at the top button of his slacks. Her eyes tipped up seductively to meet his.

He knew that look. And he knew she was going to be royally pissed in just a minute. “I’m not staying tonight. I have to fly home.”

Her arms crossed over her breasts—breasts just a little too perfect, ones she’d never admit having work done to. “
Merde
. You said you’d be in town a few days!”

“And I planned on it, but something came up. It’s family stuff. I have to get back.”

She threw up her hands and marched back into the bedroom. “
Fils de chienne!
”

He also knew enough French to know when she was swearing at him. He followed as he buttoned his shirt. “Look, I’ll make it up to you the next time you’re in California.”

“I don’t plan to be in California anytime soon. I’m here now,
dammit!
”

“I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just bad timing.” He reached for her hand, knowing he was being a dick, trying to soften at least a little of the blow. “Cut me some slack, okay?”

“
Hybride
, you don’t deserve it.” But she smiled when she said it. “Just this once. And I’ll expect you to make it up to me three-fold, mon cher.”

He kissed her cheek. She liked men. He wasn’t special. He also knew she’d find someone else to hang out with after he left, and it didn’t bother him in the least.

“Thanks.” He dropped to the end of the bed and reached for his shoes, itching to finish up his work and get home as soon as he could. “You’re a gem, Monique.”

***

Ryan pulled the car into the drive of his Sausalito house around seven a.m. the next morning, jet-lagged and exhausted. Getting home had proved to be more of a nightmare than he’d expected. Flights into SFO had been rerouted or canceled. Luckily, he’d managed to catch a red-eye into Sacramento, then picked up a rental car. As he grabbed his bags from the trunk, he steeled himself for what he’d find inside. He hadn’t had a chance to talk to Julia since the accident and he had no clue how she was reacting to it all.

Her bubbly laughter greeted him as he pushed the kitchen door open.

“Just roll the damn dice, would ya?” Mitch bellowed.

Julia giggled. “You’ll never beat me at this. I’m a pro.”

“There’s no such thing as a pro at Yahtzee. It’s pure luck.”

“No, it’s not. Yahtzee!” she shrieked as the dice settled. Mitch swore under his breath. “It’s skill, see, Uncle Mitch?”

“You’re not teaching my kid to swear, are ya?” Ryan forced a smile as he stepped through the door and glanced around the room. Julia looked up and grinned.

Mitch flashed the same deep dimple in his cheek he’d shared with his sister. “I save all the really bad words for when you aren’t around.”

“Hey, Dad!” Julia slipped off the chair and caught Ryan in a fierce hug. “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming back for a few more days.”

“I finished early and thought I’d just come home.” He dropped his bag on a chair and eased down so they were at eye level. Then he ran his finger down her button nose, the one that was just like Annie’s. Every time he looked at her, he saw her mother. His heart took one giant roll. “I missed you.”

She frowned, and those knowing eyes of hers swept over him. “You came back because you were worried about me, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, so sue me. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Dad, really. You shouldn’t worry so much. It’s not good for your health. Gives you ulcers and can reduce your life span, not to mention pack on the pounds. And you’re not getting any younger you know. You have to start thinking about your weight. Besides, I’m practically a grown-up. I can handle stuff.”

“The grown-up part remains to be seen.” He tried to hide the smile that wanted to creep up his face. “Where’d you learn about the effects of stress anyway?”

“At school. You know, that private institution you spend a fortune to send me to? I learn a lot at school.”

“Nice to know my money’s being put to good use.” He headed into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

“I’m on the brink of womanhood,” she said after him. “Lots of girls my age are already getting their periods.”

He choked on his water. “Please. It’s not even eight in the morning, I’m jet-lagged, and you’re only nine.”

“So?” She looked right at Mitch, who seemed to be enjoying the banter. “It’s right around the corner. You’re going to have to deal with it, Dad. And while I’m thinking of it, I need a bra. We should probably go shopping for one sometime soon. Maybe today.” She reached for the dice, then flashed a devilish grin his way. “I was thinking of getting one of those red lacy ones like the girls wear in your Maxim magazines.”

“God, help me,” he managed, heat creeping right up his face.

Mitch laughed and walked into the kitchen. He poured himself another cup of coffee then patted Ryan on the back. “Damn it all to hell if she’s not just like her mother.”

“Don’t I know it,” Ryan said as he eyed his daughter. She not only looked like Annie, she sounded just like her too. Same smart-ass attitude and dry sense of humor. His chest tightened as he remembered Annie’s quirky grin, the deep dimple in her cheek when she smiled. The way she could make him laugh no matter the situation.

“Are you okay, Daddy?” Julia’s smile faded. She only ever called him Daddy when she was worried about him. The rest of the time it was Dad or more lately, just “hey, you”.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I am now.”

“Good. Me too. I’m gonna go up and get dressed.” She slipped off the chair again and crossed to him. When he eased down, she pulled him in for a tight hug and kissed his cheek. “I’m glad you’re home. I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you, babe.” On a long breath, he watched her head out of the room and up the back stairs. He didn’t need to worry about her so much, but he did. Truth was, she was way more together most of the time than he was. She’d had to grow up much too fast over the past five years. No nine-year-old should have to worry about her father’s state of mind day in and day out, but Julia did.

He raked a hand through his already disheveled hair. “Son of a bitch, she’s growing up way too fast.”

Mitch grinned. “Yeah, I know. You’re gonna be in a world of hurt in a couple of years.”

“I know.” Ryan rubbed a hand over his chest, trying to ease the knot growing there. “Maxim? Where the hell did that come from?” He shook his head. “It scares the crap out of me. Thank God you’re here to shelter some of the blow.”

“Don’t look at me, buddy. I’m not a parent. I reserve the right to turn a blind eye to issues dealing with puberty and sex. I deflect all that crap back to you.”

Ryan grimaced again. “Don’t mention the words puberty and sex in the same sentence with my baby girl.”

Mitch rummaged through the kitchen cupboards, searching for God only knew what. “Where are Kathy and Roger?” Ryan asked, watching him.

“We sent them off to get breakfast. Mom’s been a little…stressed…since the crash yesterday. Too hard for her to deal with. I don’t know that she’s ever gonna get on a plane again. She may just be stuck here for good.”

“God help us,” Ryan muttered. He loved his in-laws, and he appreciated that they flew down from Seattle whenever he needed help with Julia, but a man had limits.

Mitch found a box of Froot Loops in the pantry. “Hot damn!” He leaned back against the counter and fished out a handful of cereal. “I haven’t had this stuff since I was a kid.”

Ryan glanced at the box. “That’s probably from when you were a kid. I don’t remember buying that.”

“All those preservatives? It can’t go bad.” He propped himself up on the counter.

Sinking into a chair at the kitchen table while Mitch munched on stale cereal, Ryan massaged his aching forehead. A tension headache was settling right behind his eyes—the result of no sleep, too much traveling and stress on top of it.

“You look like shit, you know,” Mitch muttered.

“Tell me something I don’t already know.” He hadn’t shaved, he was still in the same clothes he’d worn yesterday, and he felt like he’d been on an emotional roller coaster the last few hours.

“Monique must have worked you over pretty good.”

“About took my head off when I told her I was leaving so soon.”

“I like her. You get tired of her, you pass her on to me.”

Ryan chuckled. “She wouldn’t go for you. She’s not into the outdoorsy type.”

Mitch glanced down at the worn jeans and dirty hiking boots he was wearing. “Are you saying I’m not classy?”

Ryan looked at his brother-in-law. Mitch needed a haircut, his light, brown curly hair was brushing his collar, and the goatee he was experimenting with looked downright pathetic. “I’m saying you don’t have enough class in your left pinky for her.”

“And you do?”

“No, I don’t. But she hasn’t figured that out yet.” He pressed his fingers against his temples. “She’s just using me for sex. One of these days, she’ll figure out I’m a son of a bitch and she’ll drop me on my ass.”

Mitch laughed. “Can’t argue with you there.”

Rising, Ryan stifled a yawn. “You gonna stick around?”

“Yeah, for awhile. At least until Mom and Dad get back.”

“Good. I’m gonna crash.” He patted Mitch on the shoulder as he walked by. “Thanks, buddy.”

“Sure thing.”

Ryan stalked up the kitchen stairs, paused halfway, and glanced back. Just when they were all starting to get on with their lives, Annie’s absence was slamming back into them, this recent crash reminding them what they’d lost. Whether Mitch or Julia wanted to admit it, it had hit them all hard, bringing back memories from five years ago.

He rubbed his aching head and continued up the stairs. Memories swirled through his mind as he flopped down onto the bed in his room. That last day—dropping her off at the airport that morning, kissing her good-bye, rubbing a hand over her flat belly and smiling at the secret she’d told him the night before, leaning in and taking one last whiff of her sweet lilac scent.

He’d give anything for one more hour with her.

His eyes slid shut. Tears he didn’t realize were still there stung his eyes. He had trouble conjuring up her face these days. She was ingrained in his heart and soul forever, but that image was slowly fading from his memory, the edges turning fuzzy. Even her voice, that husky siren voice of hers that had always tugged at something deep in his soul, was hard to bring up now.

He swiped a hand over the burning pain in his chest. Part of him wished like hell it would just go away. The other part was holding on like it was his last lifeline. He’d already lost her once. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing what little of her he had left.

Chapter Three

“Knock, knock.”

Kate glanced up from her desk and smiled at the face in her doorway. The first smile she’d felt in days…maybe weeks. As she leaned back in her chair, late afternoon sunlight spilled through the windows of her fourteenth-floor office at McKellen Publishing, bathing her in warmth. “Hey, Tom.”

Tom Adams, her managing editor, dropped into the chair across from her. “Looks like you’re getting settled in.”

She looked over her cramped office. Stacks of journals sat against one wall. A half-empty box was pushed up against the bookshelf. She’d managed to set out a few pictures of Reed, a chunk of conglomerate, an obsidian rock she’d picked up hiking a few months back. Papers littered her desk, and framed art leaned against the wall, waiting to be hung. “Trying to. Not making much progress, I’m afraid.”

“How’s the article coming?” He reached for the glass paperweight shaped like a frog that sat on the corner of her desk. Reed had given it to her for Mother’s Day last spring, during his frog stage. Resting an ankle on his opposite knee, Tom passed the paperweight from hand to hand.