Waiting for Him (Waiting Series Book 3) (2 page)

Chapter Two

Garrett

     
Ever since Shelby left my office this morning, I've been thinking about what she could possibly need to speak with me about. The two of us have exchanged only a handful of words since Jeff punched me, back in the fall. I’ve completely distanced myself from her. I made my feelings for her clear, and she still wanted to be with Jeff, so my hands are tied. I don't want to be a part of some “love triangle.” If she wants to be with me, she knows where to find me. Even though she sought me out this morning, I didn't get the impression that she wanted to rekindle our relationship. She seemed stressed out when she was in my office. I couldn't help but feel the desire to put her at ease. However, I forced myself to resist the urge. It's no longer my place to take care of her and if I'm honest with myself, I did a shitty job of protecting her when it was my responsibility. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and if I had the opportunity to be with her again, I know I would be a much better boyfriend than I was before.

***

      I'm sitting on Shelby's couch waiting for her to bring me some water and it feels so surreal. Her living room looks eerily similar to how it did three years ago...except for the giant portrait of her and Jeff that's hanging on the wall. That photo is a well-needed reminder that I'm not here to rekindle things with her. I need to focus on protecting my heart from her and keep my distance. I've recently begun feeling better about how unresolved things remained between us and I even slept with someone else. I consider having sex with someone other than Shelby, to be a step in the right direction. For years, I barely looked at any other women because she was all I could think of. Even though the sex I had with this other woman was mediocre at best, I'm hoping it helps me gain some objectivity where Shelby is concerned. Maybe it's a step toward the closure I deserve and still want.

      Shelby hands me a glass of ice water before she takes a seat on the same couch as me. She keeps a full cushion of space between us as she angles her body toward me. I take a sip of the cool drink and then place it on top of the coaster on her coffee table.
Their coffee table, Garrett,
I remind myself. My palm is damp from the outside of the glass so I wipe it on the leg of my black dress pants as inconspicuously as possible before I glance at Shelby. She's staring at me with a “deer in the headlights” expression on her face.

      “Come on, it can't be that bad, Shelby,” I say trying to prod her into beginning what I can only imagine will be a strained conversation between us. Her eyes never leave mine as I see her inhale a large breath.

      “There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'm just going to come right out and say it. I'm pregnant.”
What? Did I just hear her correctly?

      “Congratulations, you and Jeff must be excited,” I say trying to be diplomatic.

      “I'm pregnant,” she repeats, “and you might be the father.”
WHAT?
I'm literally dumbstruck by what she's told me. Thoughts are racing madly through my head at what feels like warp speed. I can't seem to grasp onto a single one long enough to verbalize it. Finally, Shelby takes pity on me and prompts me with a question.

      “Don't you have anything to say, Garrett?” She nervously watches me. One coherent thought shines like a beacon in my mind.

      “How is this possible?” I ask incredulously as I feel my whole body break out in a cold sweat.

      “What do you mean, how is this possible? We had sex, and you didn’t wear a condom..”
I haven't done so much as breath on her for over five months now, this kid can't be mine.

      “Shelby, that was months ago, how can the baby be mine?”

      “I'm a little more than five months along.” My heart literally feels like it drops out of my chest cavity and into the pit of my stomach. A wave of nausea passes over me as I come to grips with the blow she just dealt me.
What a bitch.
I can feel the anger taking over each and every fiber of my being.
How could she keep this from me?

      “
Why am I just learning about this now? Were you planning on keeping it from me forever?” The volume of my voice increases with each word that I spit out at her. I want to grab onto her and shake her like a rag doll. Shake some common sense and compassion into her.
How can she be such a cold and heartless bitch? Do I own culpability in making her this way?

      “I wasn't going to keep it from you, Garrett. I had to tell Jeff first, and I didn't know how to do that.” She shakes her head as a tear slowly slides down her pink-tinged cheek.
Wow.
I actually find myself feeling sympathetic toward Jeff. The poor bastard has been thinking this baby is his for the past five months and then she dropped the bombshell on him that it might be mine. I think I prefer not knowing until now, rather than being in his shoes.

“His due date is at the beginning of July. We can find out who the father is then.”

He? I'm having a son. Woah, hold up there,
I caution myself. This baby only has a fifty percent chance of being my son.
Our son.
I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit that part of me would love nothing more than having a baby with Shelby. I used to dream about what our family would look like, but I thought the likelihood of it happening was null and void. How am I going to keep myself from getting my hopes up during the next four months and what does this mean for Shelby and I?

      “How does Jeff feel about all of this and how long has he known for?” I cross my arms over my chest in a futile act of self-preservation. Nothing will protect me from the probability of getting hurt in this situation. I’m not sure that I can see anyone coming out of this on the winning side of things as far as being in a relationship with Shelby goes.

      “He’s understandably hurt, and he’s taking some time to figure things out.”

      “What does that mean for your relationship?” I ask, and I know that I’m pushing my luck by asking questions that really aren’t my concern, but for some reason, she doesn’t have the poor reaction I expected.

      “He said we’re over and he moved out. I don’t think he’ll change his mind. I guess if the baby turns out to be his we may find a way to work things out, but I’m not holding out much hope for a reconciliation. He was devastated when I told him and rightly so.”                                                                                
    
  
I sincerely hope this baby is mine. Having a son at the end of this next four months would be the best thing that could happen to me. I love kids and every time I’m with my niece I feel a powerful sense of longing to have a child of my own. Being a father would be the greatest gift I could ever receive. Second to that would be having Shelby by my side, but at this point, I think that might just be a pipe dream. It’s not something that’ll ever happen, and I’m finally at the point where I’m okay with that. There has to be a woman out there that I can spend the rest of my days with and not compare everything she does to Shelby.

Chapter Three

Jeff

     
It’s been two days since Shelby completely annihilated my life with her confession. My mind is still whirling around trying to make sense of all that’s happened. I’m astounded that she’s been keeping all of this from me for more than five months now. How can you pull the wool over someone’s eyes for so long, especially when it’s the person you’re planning on spending the rest of your life with? This whole scenario makes me feel as though I don’t even know her.

     
Who is Shelby Tyler? S
he certainly isn’t the same girl that I fell in love with all those years ago. I don’t know where the old version of her has disappeared to, and at this point so much damage has been done to our relationship, I’m not sure how we’d be able to salvage it.
How would I ever be able to trust
her again?
I don’t want to play second best to Garrett for the rest of my life. Feeling like you’re never first with the one you love most is emotionally painful.
Is being with her worth the tradeoff
of not knowing if I’m the man she really wants to be with?

      I’ve been staying with Lee since I left our apartment. He’s a great friend to me, and I know that I’m welcome to remain here as long as I need to. The thing is, I’d prefer to be alone at this point and quietly brood while I work things out in my head. I need to start looking for my own place. It’ll be strange to be living on my own again after sharing an apartment with Shelby, but I’m sure in due time I’ll learn to enjoy it. I’ve never had a chance to live on my own. Lee and I were roommates in college and then I moved in with Shelby. I know it will be a big adjustment for me to have so much solitary time, but I think I need some alone time to work out everything that’s happened. I need to figure out how I’m going to spend the rest of my life without Shelby by my side. I never imagined this scenario when I would picture our future together. I thought we were rock solid and that nothing could break us apart. Little did I know what the future had in store for me. Fate must be having a good laugh at my expense right now.

      I’m glad the weekend is finally here. It was all I could do to make it through the past two days at work. I tried to lose myself in my patient’s treatment, but my mind kept drifting back to Shelby and how much her betrayal has destroyed me. I feel like I’m only a partially functioning person right now. I’m running at a fifty percent capacity, and even that might be a stretch. I feel like a shell of myself and I don’t like it at all.

      I’m experiencing a lot of anger toward Shelby at this point, and I don’t know what to do to lessen it. I’m not sure how all of these negative emotions I’m experiencing will ever go away. I resent her for betraying me and I’m not ready to forgive her yet. Maybe someday…maybe not.

      I’m concerned that if this baby is mine, I won’t be able to comfortably co-parent with her. It would be tough to be around her all the time and not be with her and yet at the same time, I also feel as though I can’t bear to be near her. It’s a catch twenty-two, and it sucks.

***

      It’s Saturday night, and Lee has forced me to come out to the local bar that’s just down the street from his apartment. If it were up to me, I would have planted my depressed ass on his couch for the night and drowned my sorrows while watching ESPN. It’s probably a good thing he left me no choice. Sitting home and feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to help my situation at all. I might as well take advantage of this distraction and forget about my troubles for a few hours.

      We’re sitting at the long, well-polished bar with Greyson and Aiden, Shelby’s twin brothers. We’ve become good friends over the past few years, and we get together for a few beers every month or so. I’m not sure how they ended up here tonight since I had nothing to do with it. I can only surmise that Lee orchestrated the whole thing. As much as it sucks that they’re related to Shelby, I’m fine with them hanging with us. The two of them are always entertaining, especially Aiden. He’s one of the funniest guys I know and he always has great stories to share. Greyson is a great guy, but he’s decidedly more serious. Shelby says he’s “broody,” whatever that means.
God, I have to stop thinking about her.
I literally want to repeatedly bang my head on the bar until I knock her out of my thoughts forever.
If only it were that simple.
I grimace before I take a long pull of my beer.

      “So what’s seashell up to tonight?” Greyson asks me, and he stares at the enormous flat screen that’s showing a college football game.
DAMN.
I should have known it was only a matter
of time before they asked. I wait for a moment before I reply as I think about how I want to handle this. Part of me wants to act as though nothing’s wrong, but the other part of me knows it’s only a matter of time before they find out, so why bother hiding it?

      “I don’t know where she is,” I say, keeping my answer vague. Out of my periphery, I can see Greyson’s head swing around toward me, and I know if I looked over at him he would be sporting a giant scowl on his face. He’s the epitome of an overprotective brother, and I know he’s wondering why I have no idea where Shelby is.

      “Why the fuck don’t you know where my little sister is, Jeff?” I look to my right and confirm that he is indeed wearing a scowl on his face. I shake my head at this fucked up turn of events.
So
much for forgetting for a few hours…

      “I don’t know where your sister is because we’re no longer together.” I keep my reply short and to the point, hoping that he’ll let it go, but knowing that he won’t. Greyson is tenacious, and he won’t settle for anything less than the whole story.

      “Why did you guys break up?” His voice is deep and his enunciation of each word is slow.

      “I think you need to have this conversation with your sister, not me,” I reply as I take a large gulp of my beer while wishing I was drinking tequila or whiskey instead.

      “Well, my sister’s not here, so I’m asking you.” His huge hand loudly slaps the bar for effect, and I wonder how many guys that hand has actually knocked out. His knuckles are large and calloused, and I know that he’s worked hard to get them in that condition. You can walk into the gym where he trains at any given moment and find Grey sitting on the mats, punching a large stone. As crazy as it sounds, I’ve seen it with my own eyes on many occasions.