Waiting for Love (14 page)

A huge bed dominated the small hotel room. Since there was nowhere else to sit, Adam lowered himself to the corner of the bed, keeping his jacket strategically placed over his lap. “Hot in here,” he muttered.

“No such thing as air-conditioning in the hotels on this island.” She opened a window, sending a cool breeze billowing through the small space.

Abby sat next to him on the bed, kicked off her extremely high heels and crawled up to the pillows. “Are you going to write back to Sasha?”

“No.”

“Won’t you have to deal with her eventually? You live together, right?”

“Lived. Past tense.”

“What about all your stuff?”

“I’ve got my computers. That’s all I care about. I’ll send movers to get the rest.”

“And the business?”

“It’s all hers. They have to buy me out, which they’re in the process of doing, but beyond that, it’s a done deal. I don’t expect to ever see her again.”

“Since you insist on forcing your company on me, I’d much rather talk to your face than your back.”

“Sorry.” Adam turned to find her resting on her side, head propped on an upturned hand. The position did wondrous things for her cleavage. He forced his gaze off her chest and found her watching him with amusement and confusion mixed into her expression.

“Are you sad at the idea of never seeing her again?”

While Adam didn’t want to discuss Sasha, he was anxious to keep Abby talking so she wouldn’t kick him out and head back to the bar in search of trouble. “It’s funny. A week ago, the idea of never seeing her again would’ve been unimaginable. Now… Not so much. ”

“I know what you mean.”

“Do you think you’ll see Cal again?”

“He says it isn’t over, but for me it is.”

“So you talked to him?” Adam stretched out facedown on the bed but kept about six feet between them. All at once, that space seemed critical. The last thing either of them needed was an explosives-laden rebound with an old friend.

“He called earlier. Apparently, he didn’t see the note I left him. He wanted to know what we were doing for dinner.”

“Did you tell him about the note?”

She nodded, and her chin wobbled ever so slightly. “He was… He was more upset than I’d expected him to be. I didn’t think he’d care.”

“And he did.”

“Yes.”

“Are you sorry you left?”

“No! He might want to deny what’s going on with Candy, but I know what I saw, and I’m not playing second fiddle to her.
Candy
… Makes me gag just thinking about her.”

“Can I play devil’s advocate for a second here?”

She eyed him cautiously. “If you must.”

“Are you mad at her or at him?”

“Both of them. Her for coming on to him—obviously—when she knows he’s engaged, and him for acting oblivious to the whole thing.”

“Is it possible that he
is
oblivious?”

 “Maybe,” she conceded, “but if he is, I don’t want to be married to that, you know?”

“Makes sense.” Adam paused for a long moment. “Neither of us did anything to deserve what happened to us. We both tried our best to have healthy relationships that were screwed up by the actions of others.”

“That’s so true!” Her dark eyes sparkled with righteous indignation that was undone when she burped. Loudly. And then they both lost it, laughing so hard that the people in the next room pounded on the wall and yelled for them to shut up. That set off another round of quieter laughter.

When it was over, they lay on their backs, looking up at the ceiling, breathing hard.

Abby reached across the expanse of snowy-white linen and took his hand. “Thank you.”

He looked over at her, noting that her eyes sparkled now from laughter tears. “For what?”

“Making sure I didn’t do something I’d regret.”

“No problem. Sorry if I was a little heavy-handed about it.”

“That’s okay. But really, Adam,
six
kids? Are you out of your freaking mind?”

“Is that the best you’ve got?”

She bit back a smile. “You’re out of your fucking mind. Clearly.”

“There it is!” he said, ridiculously proud of her. “I didn’t mean to presume that I know you so well. I know you well enough, if that makes sense. You just broke up with the man you once planned to marry. I can’t see you jumping into bed with someone else the same day you left Cal.”

“And yet here we are,” she said with a smile that drew one from him, too.

“You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do, and you’re right. As much as I want to be that kind of girl, I need to take at least a day or two to recover from what happened with Cal before I start shopping for his replacement.”

The idea of her shopping for Cal’s replacement disturbed Adam for reasons he didn’t dare explore further. “What do you think you’ve been missing out on? What’s been so wrong that you want to become someone else entirely? There’s nothing wrong with who you are now.”

“That’s very sweet of you to say, but there’s lots of stuff wrong with me. I can’t keep making the same mistakes over and over and not try to learn
something
from them. You know?”

Adam’s heart beat fast as it dawned on him that she was still holding his hand, and he rather liked the way her soft hand felt wrapped around his. Neither of them seemed inclined to break the connection. He licked lips that had suddenly gone dry. “And you think jumping into bed with guys you don’t know will fix whatever’s wrong?”

“Maybe not, but at least I’ll have some fun while trying to figure out what’s next.”

“You never said what it is you think you’ve been missing out on.”

“I can’t tell you that. It’s too personal.”

“Maybe if you told someone and you talked it out a bit, you wouldn’t feel so determined to do something crazy and out of character.”

She surprised him when she jerked her hand free and sat up. “What is so wrong with going a little crazy? While you were off being crazy in the big city, I was playing house with your brother, who was so fixated on his precious career that he barely gave me a thought. While you were off sleeping with every woman in New York City, I was rebuilding my life and falling in love
again
with a man who I thought was all about me until I realized he’s actually all about someone else!
And you want to know what I’ve been missing out on?
”

Adam stared at her, completely bowled over by how drop-dead gorgeous she was when pissed off. 

“
What
are you staring at?”

“You. You’re quite something when you’re stirred up.”

“Fine, make fun of me. Whatever. Like this day hasn’t already sucked.” She flopped back down on the bed, defeat radiating from her.

Adam moved closer to her, drawn to her despite the many,
many
reasons why it was a very bad idea to be drawn to her, of all people. “I’m not making fun of you, Abby.” He brushed the hair back from her face. “Rather, I’m having seriously inappropriate thoughts about how gorgeous you must be when you’re turned on.”

A flush of color crept from her breasts to her face, settling in her cheeks. “Stop it,” she whispered. “You don’t think about me that way. Don’t act like you do.”

“I never have before,” Adam conceded. “You were my brother’s girl. Off limits.”

She ventured a tentative glance at him. “And now?”

“Now I find myself having inappropriate thoughts about you.”

“You feel sorry for me.”

“I only feel sorry that you’ve been disappointed. I don’t pity you, if that’s what you mean.”

“You don’t?”

Adam shook his head. “Do you pity me? I wouldn’t blame you if you did. What kind of man allows his girlfriend to steal his company right out from under him?”

“I don’t pity you either. And if I had to guess, I’d say the kind of man who lets that happen has stopped caring about her and the company if he’s here rather than there, fighting for what’s his.”

Her insight astounded him. That was it—exactly. It was what he’d failed to adequately convey to his father earlier. He just didn’t give a shit anymore. He still had all the talent and know-how that enabled him to build the company in the first place. No one could take that away from him. The company was replaceable, and so was Sasha. “You’re right,” he said, meeting her gaze. “You’re absolutely right. I couldn’t care less about the company or her. Not anymore.”

Abby’s smile lit up her face and warmed the places inside him that had gone cold after Sasha’s betrayal. “I feel better than I did,” she said. “Thanks.”

“Me, too. Thank
you
. And for the record, I didn’t sleep with
every
woman in New York City.”

Her sleepy eyes closed, and her lips formed a sweet smile. “Half of them, then.”

“I’ll give you that.”

Abby’s eyes flew open in shock that softened when she saw his teasing grin. “You McCarthy boys are too handsome for your own good. I bet you’ve had your share.”

“I guess,” he said with a shrug, pleased by the backhanded compliment.

“You probably know what you’re doing.” Her hand swooped up to cover her mouth. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

Adam studied her, trying to decide whether he dared to pursue it. His better judgment told him to let it go. Curiosity, however, won out over better judgment. “Do you mean in bed?”

Her complexion went from pleasingly peachy to blazing in the fraction of an instant as she looked away from him and nodded.

Adam’s mind raced as he pondered the implications of what she was saying. Had she been with men who didn’t know their way around in bed? Including his brother? He scrubbed that thought from his brain as soon as he had it. Not going there…

“I shouldn’t have said that,” she whispered.

“Tell me what you mean.”

She shook her head.

“Abby…”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

Moaning, she placed her hands over her face. “This is why I shouldn’t drink.
Ever
. My mouth gets ahead of my brain, and I say things that should never be uttered out loud.”

Adam was still stuck on the idea of her mouth getting ahead of her brain. It put some seriously salacious ideas in his head. With her hands over her eyes, he took advantage of the opportunity to stare at that sexy mouth without her knowing he was staring. “Come on… No judgment. I promise.”

“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

“It’s the new you.”

That drew a reluctant smile from her even as she kept her hands over her eyes. “I…I have trouble, you know…”

“Coming?”

“Cripes,” she sputtered. “Put it right out there, why don’t you?”

“We’re both adults, aren’t we?”

“If you say so.”

Adam laughed and pulled one of her hands clear of her face. Without releasing her hand, he said, “Why do you suppose that’s a problem for you?”

“I have my theories.”

“You have my full attention.”

She dropped her other hand and turned her head to look at him, her expression arrestingly lovely. “That’s it. That’s the issue. I never had their full attention. And without it…”

“It can’t happen for you.”

“Yes.” She got a faraway look in her eyes as she fixated on something over his shoulder. “Even when things were good with Cal, he was always getting called away or waiting for a baby to be born or dealing with a crisis at the clinic. In Texas, he was working and tending to his mother. We had to hurry and take advantage of whatever time we had, and hurrying doesn’t work for me.”

“Did they know?” Adam told himself not to think about the fact that one of the men she was talking about was his brother.

She shook her head. “I got very good at faking it.”

“Aw, shit, Abby.”

“Screwed up, huh? You have to swear you’ll never tell anyone, Adam. Promise me.”

“I promise.”

“Not even Grant.”

“
Especially
not Grant.”

They shared a smile that made Adam a tiny bit grateful for Sasha’s betrayal. Without it, he wouldn’t be having this unexpectedly special moment with this adorably sweet and surprisingly sexy woman. “I was always so concerned about hurting their feelings that I faked it rather than let them think they weren’t satisfying me.”

“Have you ever, you know, by yourself?”

“Ugh, I think I just
died
of embarrassment.”

“Have you?”

“Yes!”

“So you know you can.”

“
Yes
.”

“Interesting.”

“What does
that
mean?”

“At least I get now why you’ve got meaningless sex on your bucket list.”

“Exactly.”

“Except…”

“What?”

“You had genuine feelings for Grant and Cal, but couldn’t get there. What makes you think it’ll be better with someone you don’t care about?”

Her big brown eyes flooded with tears that made Adam feel like an ass for asking the question. 

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I have to
try
. Don’t you see that? If I don’t try, how will I find something better?”

Since Adam didn’t have a good answer to that question, he didn’t say anything. He stared up at the ceiling for a long time, and when he looked over at her again, he saw that she’d dozed off with tears staining her cheeks. Those tear streaks made him sad.

The cell phone peeking out of her hip pocket caught his attention.

Moving slowly and carefully—and without taking the time to change his mind or consider the ethical consequences of what he was about to do—he withdrew the phone without waking her. Luckily it wasn’t password protected, which he’d have to talk to her about at some point. He accessed the settings and programmed it so he could check her location at any given time. 

Even though his conscience strongly objected, he’d made a decision during the enlightening hour he’d spent with her. If anyone was going to help her go a little crazy this summer—in bed and out—it was going to be him. Now he just had to convince her to let him while making sure his brother never, ever found out about it.

Owen got Holden changed, fed and settled in his crib. The little guy looked up at him with big, trusting eyes that made Owen weak in the knees with love. After helping to raise his six younger siblings, he’d never pictured himself acting like a dad to someone else’s kid. But now he couldn’t imagine life without the little guy.