Waiting for Rain (18 page)

I stalked around the room excitedly as I assimilated what I’d just been told. “
That’s
the reason he keeps changing his number. He told me he kept getting harassed by some really persistent telesales people. I should have known better. And the other thing I don’t understand is why someone isn’t coming after you rather than him. You’re the one Tammy’s diddling, for God’s sake.”

Lucas sighed, not taking the bait. “This isn’t really about me and Tammy being together. And he knows I’d take him on and beat him to a pulp in a heartbeat. It’s about him thinking Toby split them up and whatever else he has against Toby in that tiny brain of his. Toby said you’d get all upset. That’s why he hasn’t told you.”

“But the two of you sit and talk about it like old buddies, though.” I turned and spat the words at him, my fear and frustration getting the better of me. “You two have had this whole bromance going and just left me out of what’s going on. I have a right to know about it, Lucas. Toby’s mine, not yours.”

“I didn’t think I belonged to anybody, actually,” were the quiet words from the doorway. Toby stood there, Tammy wide-eyed at his side. His face was set, his jaw tense.

I waved a hand. “Semantics, you know what I mean. Tammy, did you know what was going on, that your ex has threatened to beat him up?”

Tammy moved into the room. Her expression was slightly threatening as she looked at Lucas. He met her gaze calmly. She looked exasperated. “No, I didn’t.” Tammy swung around to look at Toby, who’d moved forward and was watching me with a strange expression on his face. “Toby, why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Because it’s nobody’s business but my own,” he said. “I can take care of myself. I’m not going to worry about it until something happens. Neil’s a coward. He’s highly unlikely to make good on any of his threats.” His face darkened, and I wondered what threats had been made. “And don’t blame Lucas, either of you. I asked him to keep it quiet.” His voice was wry. “Although it seems like the cat is now out of the proverbial bag.”

Lucas shook his head. “I’m sorry. But I’m not good at keeping secrets.”

Toby nodded, smiling. “I noticed.”

I stared at my lover fiercely. “Toby, are you taking this seriously? You know Neil’s background. He’s a bloody bully, and he and those mates of his are known for causing trouble.” I moved over to my boyfriend as he watched me carefully. “The last thing I need is you getting bloody beaten up.” My voice caught.

He smiled at me sympathetically. “Rain, nothing’s going to happen. I’m careful, I watch out for myself, I promise. It’s not the first time this has happened to me.”

I looked into those green eyes, with their golden flecks. “Maybe you should tell the police you’re getting threats.”

He snorted loudly. “No fucking way.”

“I agree with Rain.” Tammy took Toby’s arm. “Let them know about it. Maybe Sergeant Webber can have a word with Neil. Tell him to back off.”

Toby laughed cynically. “Tell Sergeant Davey Webber that a gay man is getting threats from a man whose dad said policeman knows personally and is very thick with? I think not. That will just makes things worse. Webber isn’t a fan of mine.” His voice hardened.

I looked at him in disbelief. “You pissed off the police?”

He moved away from me and didn’t answer. His voice was harsh when he finally replied. “Suffice it to say he isn’t a fan of fags. The police are supposed to be nonjudgmental, but I can assure you he isn’t.” He swung around, a look of impatience on his face, his mood suddenly dark. “Now can we leave this alone, please? You’re all making too much of this, which is the reason I didn’t bloody tell anyone in the first place.” He looked threateningly at Lucas and moved over to the doorway. “Now I need to get back to work. Suddenly I’m not in the mood to shoot the breeze anymore. Rain, your sandwich is in the kitchen if you want anything to eat.”

He disappeared out the doorway. I stared after him, aghast. I’d never seen him in such a strop. I made to go after him.

Tammy stopped me. “Rain, when he gets like this it’s best to leave him alone. He has a real mean streak, and he’s bloody stubborn.” I nodded. She knew him better than I did.

Why is that starting to bother me so much?

“Do you know what the story is with this Webber guy?”

She shook her head, looking puzzled. “No, he’s never mentioned it before. I didn’t know they had a history.”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I’ll give him a while to cool down, then go talk to him. He has some bug up his arse, that’s for sure.”

Tammy nodded quietly. “Rain, he’s right. About it not being the first time this has happened to him. Growing up in foster care, he had a pretty rough time. He got beaten up regularly, and Toby just doesn’t know when to back down. You’ve seen that. I can’t tell you the number of times he ended up in hospital or licking his wounds because he has this need to stand up for himself. And the last home he was in, well, you know what happened there.” Her voice went quiet.

I looked at her, my heart heavy. “No, I don’t, actually. He’s never mentioned it.” I thought I had secrets, but Toby took the cake.

She looked wary. “Well, then I’m not going to tell you about it. It’s for him to do that.”

“Christ, do I even know this man at all?” I heard the frustration in my voice.

Tammy reached out and patted my face. “You’ve only known him three months. I’ve lived with him for almost four years and probably had more drunken nights out with him than you have.” She smiled slightly. “It’s amazing what you can get out of Toby when he drinks tequila.”

I hadn’t even known that. He’d never drunk tequila with me.

Lucas moved over to Tammy and reached out, drawing her into his arms. She snuggled in, looking at him in sheer adoration. I needed to get out of there before all this loving activity made me feel even worse. I went to look for Toby, and found him sitting out in the garden, on a bench under the trees. He was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. His face was white, and he looked haunted. I sat down beside him and kept quiet, watching the people milling about the garden, sitting on the lawns and enjoying the August sunshine. He was still, his body tense. I waited.

Finally, he shifted and looked around at me. “I wish people would let me decide what’s best for me. I’m not a bloody kid anymore.”

“We worry about you, Toby.” I leaned back against the bench and stretched my legs out in front of me. “You can’t fault us for doing that.”

“I’ve been on my own since I was fifteen, Rain. I’ve done things you probably wouldn’t even think I was capable of. I can look after myself.” His voice was even, but there was a hint of something in there, something that sounded so defeated I wanted to pull him into my arms and hug him tightly. But that wouldn’t have been a good idea. His whole body language screamed “Don’t touch me.” It was very unnerving and so unlike Toby.

“So you keep telling me,” I remarked. “So, tell me what happened with you and this Webber guy.”

He waved dismissively. “It’s an old story. We had a bit of a falling out, and we ended up pretty averse to each other.”

“I gathered that already. I meant tell me the story, not the result.”

He huffed impatiently. “Christ, you can be such a nag.” He was quiet. Once again I waited. Finally, he spoke. “Before I came to work here, I was at a hotel in Lincoln. My boss was a guy called Landon Murphy. He was a bloody awful man, a real bully, and an absolute pig to everyone. And he had a thing for me. His desire wasn’t returned, I can promise you. Plus, he was married and so in the closet he should have lived there. I’d already decided to leave when it happened.”

“What happened?” I watched his face, saw the discomfort in his eyes.

“One night I was working late in the kitchen, doing a stock take. He came on to me, groping and trying to get my pants open. I didn’t like it. He got physical, I got physical, and I bashed him with a copper-bottomed saucepan and shattered his collarbone. It was self-defense, but he made it out to look as if I’d come on to him, and when he’d rejected me, I’d got abusive. No one believed the story that it had been the other way around.” He huffed in anger. “The man was a paragon of virtue in his community, even to the point of going to church every Sunday. And it didn’t help that Davey Webber was one of his mates and, at that time, the sergeant at the police station in Lincoln who was called out to the scene.” He stopped, his hands clenching and unclenching. I listened to him with a sense of helplessness, unable to kiss this one better.

“I was taken down to the police station and spent the night in there before being bailed the next morning. Webber did everything he could to make my life a misery while I was in that cell. He didn’t like my ‘lifestyle choices.’” He snorted bitterly. “Luckily I had a good lawyer who believed me and wouldn’t let go. Finally, all the charges were dropped. I think Landon was worried that undue focus on him might open a can of worms about his sexuality, so he was happy to cooperate. The man bloody smirked when everyone told him what a prince he was to let the poor fag boy off.” He snorted. “I was fired, and that was when I came here. Simon knew about it, but he still took me in. He’d heard the stories about Landon as well. He believed me….” His voice faltered when he mentioned Simon. I felt a slight ache in my chest. He looked at me stonily. “There. Now you know.”

“And now Davey Webber is sergeant here in Stamford.” I nodded, understanding his reluctance to go to the police.

“Yes. He’ll have no sympathy, and I have no desire for everything that happened in Lincoln to follow me here. As long as I keep my nose clean, he doesn’t bother me.” His tone was flat.

“Toby, what happened at the house you left when you were fifteen?” I hadn’t meant to bring this up now, but my mouth ran away with me. I wasn’t prepared for the look of pain that crossed his face as he leapt to his feet in agitation.

“Has Tammy been blabbing her mouth off again? Christ, I should never have told her any of that story. That’ll be the last time I get drunk with her around.” He looked at me stony-faced. “Rain, that’s in the past. I don’t dwell on it. I try and move forward. You don’t make it easier wanting to know all the shit that happened to me. So just give it a rest, please.”

He stormed off toward the open lounge doors, and I watched him go. I felt drained. The morning had started with a blowjob and ended with a blowup. I stood up to go back to the Canterbury. I needed to let him cool down and get over whatever it was that was making him so upset.

Chapter 11

Toby

I
SLAMMED
the door to my apartment, locking it. I wanted no unwelcome visitors. I was shaking with both irritation and frustration. I knew everyone had meant well, but sometimes it got too much when everyone wanted to try and help. The phone calls from Neil and his cronies had gotten to me more than I wanted to admit. The whispered threats, the disgusting things they said, the constant barrage of insults—all of them I’d heard one way or another before, and I was heartily sick of it. I’d changed my mobile phone number twice, but still the threatening voices found me. So, I couldn’t be bothered to change it again. Instead I no longer answered it, preferring to call people back.

I slumped down onto the bed, lying back, my hands behind my head. I had a few more minutes before I was due back on shift. Perhaps I could do some deep breathing and try to calm down. I’d left my last foster home at age fifteen, and the circumstances were something I wasn’t proud about. Rain thought he had something to be ashamed of? I snorted. I think I might win hands down on some of the things I’d done.

I was staring up at an uneven dirty patch on the ceiling, wondering whether it looked like an elephant with a raised trunk or a pair of balls with an erect penis, when there was a knock at my door. I ignored it. The knock came again. I hoped whoever it was would go away.

“Toby?” It was Tammy. I lay there quietly, hoping she’d leave.

“Toby, you tosser, open this bloody door and let me in.” Her voice was loud, and I winced. She wouldn’t be above making a scene if I didn’t let her in.

I snarled, standing up to open the door. “What? I’m on my break. Can’t everyone leave me alone just for a bloody few minutes?”

She pushed past me. “I need to talk to you.” I shut the door and waited. She turned to me, and I was horrified to see the tears welling in her eyes. She looked at me with such despair that I couldn’t bear it.

I reached over, pulling her to me. I was a sucker for crying men and women. “Hell, Tammy, is everything all right, sweetie? I’m sorry I was such a bastard earlier, but I was just feeling a little stressed.”

“It’s all my fault,” she sobbed. “I should have listened to you and not got involved with Neil. Now he thinks you’re the one who made me break up with him, and you’re in danger.”

I smiled. “Tam, I’m not in danger. Neil’s a bully, that’s all. And it isn’t your fault, darling. He’s disliked me from day one because he and his dad are thick with that guy, Landon, that I clobbered in Lincoln, and he’s just looking for an excuse.”

Her face was pale. “And now Lucas might be in trouble too, all because of me. I don’t know what to do. Lucas says he’s not worried, just like you he can handle himself, but I’m really scared, Toby. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

“I pity the bugger who takes on Lucas,” I said drily. “He has a black belt in karate, and they’ll have to get up very early to get close to him.” I smiled. “I almost hope they try.”

She looked up at as she sniffled. “I didn’t know that. That makes me feel better.” She looked turned on about the fact Lucas did karate, and I grinned. I thought I’d just increased his chances of getting lucky. “Still, Neil’s being such a complete prat. There has to be something we can do.”

I shook my head, moving away to get tissues from the bathroom. “It’ll blow over,” I called out as I unwound toilet paper. I had no more tissues. They’d all been used in post-sex cleanup operations between me and Rain the other night.

I came out and offered the toilet paper to her. She blew her nose loudly. I kissed her forehead. “Better?”