Authors: Diane Mannino
“Of course not. Since when do you need to ask permission to go to the bathroom? You’re in a weird mood today.” She laughs and then heads to the register.
I laugh back, a bit shakily. “Yeah, probably that time of the month.”
When I get to the bathroom, I close the door behind me and pull out the envelope from my back pocket. I take a deep breath. Frowning, I stand still, staring at the envelope. I know whatever it is it isn’t good. My heart pounds as I hear Bryn’s voice in my head: ‘she’s a psycho bitch and she’s full of shit’.
What’s she up to? I know I should wait and open this with either Logan or Bryn. I have a bad feeling about it, but my curiosity always gets the better of me and I quickly tear it open.
I pull out two pieces of paper. The first is a note that reads in loopy cursive: it happened over Thanksgiving break. I feel overwhelmingly hot as I fight back the bile rising in my throat. The next piece of paper is a black and white photo. It’s a sonogram. I can clearly see the head, the facial profile, and the spine of a baby. A wave of nausea rises and the only thing I’m thankful for at this moment is the nearby toilet as I vomit, violently into it.
Looking into the mirror over the sink, I stuff the envelope back in my pocket then splash some cold water on my face. Shit. I fight the tears surfacing in my eyes when there’s a soft knock on the door.
“Emilia, are you okay?” Rosemary calls.
I swallow. “Um. I feel a bit sick…bad cramps.” I hate myself for lying to her, but I just can’t talk about this right now. Could it be true? I remember Logan seeing her over Thanksgiving break when he was in New York. It was the one night he got home really late and he said he was out with friends…she was one of them. Holy Crap.
“Can I get you something, sweetheart?” She asks, softly.
“No, but I think I should go home. I feel like I need to lie down.” I murmur as I open the bathroom door.
“Sure…go and rest.” She says as she looks at me warily.
THE TEARS START TO FLOW as I start to walk home and I’m thankful I can hide them behind my dark sunglasses. I don’t know if it’s true, but how or why would anyone make something like that up? I know she’s crazy and obsessed with Logan, but the part about being with him over Thanksgiving Break is a fact and I strongly doubt she’s aware that I know this to be true. I wrack my brain trying to remember what Logan said about that night.
I take some deep breaths and gather my wits about me as I approach our house when I suddenly feel like someone is watching me. Shit. I’m by myself and Sebastian is out there, somewhere, with a gun. I glance over both my shoulders and pick up my pace. Could this day get any worse?
When I get home, I quickly unlock the door, step into the house and slam the door behind me. Just as I slam the door, I turn around and bump directly into Bryn and Chloe, who are standing right in the entryway.
“We saw you coming down the street. First of all, why are you out walking by yourself?” Bryn asks and Chloe looks at her with a confused expression. I’m reminded that she doesn’t know about Sebastian and that whole other mess.
“Um. I left work early. I don’t feel so great.” I mutter.
“Well, we’ll get to you walking alone later, but we need to talk.” She says.
I take off my glasses, stuff them in my purse and toss it on the nearby table. Trying to avoid eye contact for fear they might know I’ve been crying, I quickly walk around them and head towards the stairs.
“She already knows.” Bryn says, quietly to Chloe. “Emilia, what happened? I know you’ve been crying and I can probably guess why, but you have to realize she’s full of shit. Where’s Logan? I’m sure he’s pissed.”
“What? How do you know?” I stop in my tracks.
She nods in Chloe’s direction. “Chloe overheard Seraphina talking to a friend in the student union this morning.” Bryn looks at Chloe to let her explain.
“I went into Starbucks to get a latte and they were in there. I never go to that Starbucks on the weekend, but I had to meet someone to drop off some notes and was desperate for a coffee fix. Anyway, I’m in line ordering and Seraphina and her friend walk in and get in line.” She’s says, rapidly and takes a second to catch her breath.
“You’re never up before noon.” I mutter.
“I know, right? It was probably right around that time.” She explains. “Why?”
“She came into Spyder about an hour ago so I was wondering if this was before or after that.” I walk towards the living room, kick off my shoes and sit on the couch. I think I need to sit down for the rest of this conversation.
Bryn and Chloe follow me. Bryn sits beside me on the couch with her feet curled up underneath her and Chloe sits on the adjacent chair.
“Fuck. She came into Spyder.” Bryn puts her hand on my knee. “I wish I was there so I could have cunt punted her.” She says and I know she’s trying to lighten the mood.
I smile at her slightly. “I actually thought about that.”
“Chloe, finish telling her your story.” Bryn looks at Chloe.
“There’s not much to tell. The two hos get in line and they start talking really loudly. And, I mean
really
loudly. I think it’s really obvious they’re just putting on a show. But it’s crowded in there and it’s fairly quiet…everyone is kind of nursing their Friday night hangovers…so they’ve got everyone’s attention. Even if you didn’t want to listen to their shit, you couldn’t help it because they are practically telling everyone to listen to them. You know?”
Both Bryn and I nod. “Yes, Chloe, just tell her what they said.”
“I will. I’m just trying to set the mood. They’re in line talking about what their going to order which seems totally innocent, but then Seraphina says she has to really watch what she puts into her body now because she’s quote, ‘eating for two.’ Well, of course now they have everyone’s attention.”
“Oh, God.” I say, quietly.
Bryn scoots closer to me on the couch. “She’s full of shit, Emilia. I totally understand you being upset. I know I would be too, but she’s full of it.”
I swallow. “What else did she say, Chloe?”
“Her friend asked if she talked to Logan about it and she said she hadn’t because she’s worried he might not be happy about it since he’s sort of seeing someone else. What a fucking piece of work she is! Oh sure, my ass, he’s sort of seeing someone else. She knows perfectly well that most of the school thinks you and Logan are engaged. I’m sure people heard that and realized she’s making this all up.” Chloe throws her hands up in the air, dramatically.
I sit in silence for a minute.
“Emilia, what is it?” Bryn asks.
“I don’t know. I want to think she’s full of shit, but maybe it’s true. First of all, I can’t imagine someone making something like this up and second of all, she claims it happened over Thanksgiving break.” I exhale.
“Thanksgiving break? Why does that matter?” Bryn asks as she stares into my eyes.
“I know for a fact that they saw each other over Thanksgiving break. They were both in New York. Logan and I were emailing each other and one email he sent was at like two or three in the morning.” I say, quietly.
“And?” Bryn says.
“I asked him about it and he was out with a group of friends. One of those friends was Seraphina.” I say and I’m surprised that I don’t sound shaky.
“Oh, Em…that doesn’t mean anything. Just so you know, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you calmly about this if I didn’t truly think she was making this all up. We knew she was up to something, she’s a total psycho bitch and she kept saying all those cryptic things to you. We knew it was just a matter of time…right? So, now she’s going around telling people she’s pregnant. What a moron on top of being a bitch! I don’t know what she thinks she’s going to gain from this. She probably should have stuck with boiling a bunny…maybe she’d get more attention that way?” Bryn shakes her head.
“I hope you’re right.” I pause a second. “She might get what she wants…maybe Logan will feel so sorry for her and take her back.”
“Take her back? They were never really together in the first place…right? Emilia, you’re getting yourself all worked up about nothing.”
I shrug.
“Did you say she came by the store you work at?” Chloe chimes in.
I nod as I lean forward and pull the envelope out of my back pocket. “She gave me this.” I hand it to Bryn and Chloe quickly moves from her chair to beside Bryn on the sofa.
They open it and pull out the note with the sonogram. I watch as both their mouths drop open. “Motherfucker.” Bryn seethes just as there’s a knock on the front door.
Bryn gets up and opens the door while Chloe remains with me on the couch. Her hand rests on my knee.
“Is Emilia here? I went to meet her after work and Rosemary said she left early.” Logan says, urgently. I can hear the worry in his voice.
“She’s here.” Bryn waves in the direction of the living room.
CHAPTER THIRTY
LOGAN’S EYES ARE IMMEDIATELY ON MINE. I stand as he moves towards me swiftly and wraps his arms around me, pulling me tight against him.
I glance over his shoulder and see Bryn wave Chloe over, giving us time alone.
“I was so worried about you.” He breathes in my hair. “I know something happened. Please tell me.” He leans back and his eyes burn into mine.
I move, silently towards the sofa and sit back down. A second later, Logan sits beside me, we are face to face.
He takes my hands in his. “Emilia, talk to me. I know something happened with Seraphina.”
My eyes stare at his and he answers my question before I can ask it.
“I know it has to do with her because Rosemary said you were quite upset after in Rosemary’s words ‘a girl with big tits came into the store and talked to you’. She couldn’t remember her name but she said it was something like ‘Slytherin’.”
I laugh. Slytherin is one of the houses in
Harry Potter
. It’s the home to the students who are mostly Dark Wizards…the evil and cunning ones. Voldemort as well as many of his Death Eaters are from this house.
“Aptly named.” I smile. “She’s really not far off the mark.”
“Agreed.” Logan smiles. “I’m glad you’re smiling.” He pauses and caresses my face. “I can tell you’ve been crying. What happened?”
Instead of telling him, I hand him the envelope that she gave me. I watch his expression change when he opens it and looks at the two pieces of paper. His concerned look vanishes and is quickly replaced with one of anger and annoyance.
He runs his hand through his hair. “This is bullshit. Emilia, you know that, don’t you?”
“I…I thought maybe, but I can’t imagine someone making something like this up and you did see her over Thanksgiving Break. You told me.” I sigh.
“I’ve had it with her shit!” Logan snaps.
I jump because I’ve never heard him so angry. My stomach further knots and I wonder for a second if I should head to the bathroom.
He starts to stand and I blink up at him, nervously.
“Where are you going?” I ask, panicked.
“I’m going to tell her to stop with this fucking shit. This is…” He holds the sonogram and the note in his hand and waves it in the air. “This is fucking insane! It’s seriously fucked up.”
I grab onto his hand, tugging him back towards me. “Please, Logan. Don’t go. I’m sure that’s what she wants. She wants you. You go to her…regardless of you being pissed at her…she’s getting what she wants. Besides, I can’t bear the thought of you being with her…even if it’s just to chew her out.” I gaze up at him.
He breathes. I’m caught off guard when he suddenly scoops me up into his arms then sits back on the couch, holding me tight against him. “I just want her to know that she can’t do this…this is unacceptable.” He shakes his head and his arms slide around me, pulling me closer.
I can feel his eyes on me, but I can’t look up at him.
“Emilia, look at me. You’re
really
going to believe her over me?” He asks, quietly, but there’s an underlying tone of annoyance in his voice.
“Don’t be annoyed with me.” I say, angrily.
“Baby, I’m not annoyed
with you
…far from it. But you won’t look at me and I can tell you’re upset.”
I swallow and finally look up into his eyes. “How can you be sure? She has a goddamn sonogram. What the fuck should I think, Logan?”
“You should think she’s crazy and your boyfriend is telling you the truth.” He says, firmly.
“But you told me you saw her over Thanksgiving break, it’s not possible?” I ask so softly that I’m not even sure he can hear my words.
He takes my face in his hands and stares into my eyes. “Exactly, I
saw
her.” He pauses and strokes the side of my face with his hand. “Emilia, I told you I went to a bar with a group of friends from different boarding schools and Seraphina was only there because she was one of their friends. I didn’t invite her and I certainly did not have sex with her. It was a large group of people and I barely saw her.”
“But she obviously has it bad for you…you don’t share any of those feelings?” I ask, nervously.
“I love you, Emilia. I’m yours…yours forever. You know that…I wish you wouldn’t let her make you doubt that. It’s like you said earlier when I was about to leave, track her down and tell her to fuck off, that’s what she wants. She wants you to doubt my love for you. Doesn’t that make sense?” He kisses my forehead.
“I love you, too, Logan, but…” I start to say and he interrupts me.
“No buts. This is the part where you’re supposed to nod or say ‘yes, Logan, you’re exactly right’.” He smiles, warmly.
“I suppose that makes sense.” I smile, slightly.
“It’s really the only thing that makes sense. She can’t possibly think I’m going to believe she’s pregnant. I’m sure she’s hoping you believe it. But the bottom line is she wants you to doubt my love for you. Her deranged mind somehow thinks that if you doubt it then you’ll leave.” He sighs.
“Slytherin?” I giggle. “I like that.”
“I’m sorry she came in the store and did that to you.” He shakes his head. “I understand you getting upset, but you really shouldn’t have walked home by yourself. You put yourself in danger. When I got to the store to meet you and Rosemary told me you left; I felt like the ground had dropped out from under me. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” He says, softly.
“Logan, I feel the same way about you.” I look into his eyes. “That’s why I didn’t want you to go after her…I don’t trust her…obviously, she’s not right in the head and then there’s Sebastian.” I sigh.
“You’re sure you don’t want to leave tonight?” He whispers.
“I do, but I can’t.”
“It’s been a shitty day.” He murmurs and kisses me softly on the lips.
“It has.” I breathe. “We still have tonight…do you have any ideas on how we could make up for such a shitty day?” I smile, knowingly at him.
He cups my face with his hands again. “I think I can come up with a few.”
IT’S NOT MY RUNNING, HOMEWORK, AND CLASSES that make my brain feel sluggish and uncooperative. It’s the exhausting stress of avoiding gun-toting and sonogram-wielding psychopaths every corner I turn. There’s also the additional concern I have that they would harm Logan, Bryn or someone else close to my heart. I push the thought to the back of my mind.
Instead of confronting Seraphina, Logan, thankfully, although a bit unwillingly, avoids her at all cost. Despite her attempts to approach him by showing up at his condo and even knocking on his door, he refuses to speak to her. I know he prefers to tell her to go to hell then give her the silent treatment, but after begging him repeatedly he finally relents.
Most of the campus is already emptied out as finals are slowly winding down. It’s surprising how your outlook completely changes on studying and exams when you’ve got other life-threatening worries on your mind. Definitely under different circumstances, it would be a welcome change. This is the first trimester where I don’t really give a damn about exams. I just want to get the week over with and get the hell out of dodge. Carpe diem comes to mind almost daily as I count the days down leading up to our day of departure which is now just one day away.
Bryn’s Spring Break changed drastically when I put a kink in her girls-gone-wild plans and decided to head to New York with Logan. Her rowdy rager is now a couples’ retreat with Chloe, Josh and Tyler. The foursome are hitting the road this afternoon and heading up the coast to Sonoma.
It’s Friday morning, Logan, Chloe, and I will be taking our last exam: Shakespeare. Bryn’s romantic getaway could start a lot sooner but she’s staying to watch one of my biggest track meets. I’ve been training for it for the last couple months and my dad is even driving up for the day to cheer me on.
“Bryn, it’s really sweet you want to stay and cheer me on, but it’s totally not necessary.” I say as I grab a yogurt from the refrigerator.
“I know it’s not necessary. I want to. Besides as much as I’m looking forward to getting away from here, I really don’t know what I’m going to do without you for an entire week.” She sighs. “You’re sure you and Logan don’t want to nix New York and join us.”
“It sounds fun, but Logan’s family is expecting us…I don’t think they’d think too highly of me if we changed our plans, especially at this point. Plus, I think it would be kind of awkward with Tyler and everything.”
“Tyler? What do you mean?” She scrunches her face at me and then continues. “You mean because he still has it bad for you?”
My mouth drops open. “What? No. He’s with Chloe.”
“Please. I know he’s into Chloe, but that doesn’t change his feelings for you. It’s obvious he’s still hung up on you.” Bryn pours herself another cup of coffee. “Then why do you think it would be awkward?”
I shrug. “Tyler and Logan get along fine now, but I just think it would be weird…a couples’ getaway is a lot different from all of us hanging out at a party or a bar drinking…does that make sense?”
“I think my reason makes more sense.” She laughs. “But I see what you’re saying. I still wish you were coming with us.”
I throw my empty yogurt in the trash. “I’m going to miss you too, girlfriend.” I smile at her. “But there’s definitely one thing I’m not going to miss.”
“I can probably guess…and I feel the same.” Bryn mutters.
“The drama.” I lift my backpack and throw it over my shoulder.
Bryn laughs. “Fuck. Yeah.”
IT’S ALMOST THREE O’CLOCK when we finish our last exam. One by one the students place their exam packets on Professor Milton’s desk and head out the door. Hearing audible hoots and hollers as my fellow classmates filter into the hallway, I quickly finish my last essay question. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Logan, who is obviously waiting patiently for me doodling a design in the lower corner of his paper.
“Pens down.” Professor Milton calls from the front of the room.
Chloe lets out a very dramatic sigh. “Holy crap. I’m glad that’s over with.” She turns to me as we gather our backpacks and head to the front of the room. “How about a celebratory cocktail?” She says, looking at me then Logan who is at my side.
I laugh. “Love to, Chloe, but I’ve got a race in about an hour.”
“Oh, that’s right. I’ll come cheer you on and bring a couple celebratory cocktails for you for when you’re done…to celebrate end of exams and for winning your race.” She beams at me.
I giggle at her enthusiasm. “Don’t jinx me.” I say and in the same moment my phone buzzes. I pull it out of my bag and read the recent text from my dad.
“Shit.” I mutter more to myself.
“What’s wrong?” Logan asks just as we are leaving our exams on the desk at the front of the lecture hall.
“It’s my dad. He’s about twenty minutes from here, but he got a flat tire. He came all this way and now he’ll probably miss the race.” I say, looking up at Logan.
“I’ll go get him.” Logan says.
“Are you sure? You don’t mind?” I ask.
“Of course not.” Logan says. “As long as Chloe doesn’t mind staying with you.” He says, looking towards Chloe.
“I don’t mind.” Chloe chimes in.
Professor Milton is just a couple feet away from us when he clears his throat, making us all look in his direction. “Miss King, may I speak to you, privately before you head out?”
“Sure.” I mutter. I try to not sound annoyed, but I need to change and get to the track. I reassure myself that it’ll be a quick conversation. I’m sure he just wants to thank me for all the work…all his work…I’ve done this trimester.
“If Chloe can hang out…I better go get your dad. Did he text you where he was?” Logan asks.
I reread the text from my dad. “He’s on the 101…right near the exit.”
“Okay.” Logan reaches one hand around my waist and then lowers his head and kisses me softly. “We’ll see you at the track, babe.”
“Thanks, Logan.” I smile back at him. Tomorrow we will be on a flight to New York. I. Can. Not. Wait. It’s all I can think as I watch him head out of the classroom to get my dad.
“I’ll meet you outside.” Chloe says. She looks at Professor Milton, whose back faces us, and then to me and lips: “Sucks to be you.”
I’m pinning my lips to keep from laughing when he turns towards me and the door slams shut just as Chloe heads out of the room. I glance up at the large clock above the whiteboard, it reads: 3:05. I hope this is quick.
“I know you’re in a hurry, but I just want to
personally
thank you for all your help this trimester.” He says “personally” and a chill runs down my spine.
He stares at me and I realize it’s the first time he has ever actually looked me in the eyes. I’ve wondered on a number of occasions if it’s his awkwardness and his lack of social skills that make him stare at the ground when he’s addressing people. It’s interesting to me that someone who doesn’t seem to like to talk to people would choose to be a teacher, but maybe he’s just an introvert. I know I’ve had quite a few teachers who are definitely introverts and are still amazing teachers. Milton definitely doesn’t fall into this category. But maybe Shakespeare isn’t his thing.
“You’re welcome.” I say, wondering if his eyes are really as green as they look or if he wears contacts.
“Do you have plans over Spring Break?” He asks as he steps a little closer to me and I find it odd he decides to be more social with me on his last day. I’m definitely looking forward to Professor Meyer’s return.
My eyes glance up at the clock again and I’m surprised it has only been another minute when it feels like more time has passed. “Um…actually I’m headed to New York tomorrow.” I smile at the thought.
“Oh, Spring in New York. That’s lovely.” His lips twitch into a small, peculiar smile and I wonder if an unpleasant thought comes to his mind about New York. “Are you traveling with your boyfriend?”
It’s really none of his business, but I chalk it up to him being a bit awkward as well as just trying to be nice about me helping him this trimester. Although I wish he’d just give me a Starbucks gift card and let me be on my way.
“Yes.” I pause a second and glance at the clock again. “I’m sorry, Professor Milton, but I have to get going…”