Waiting for Romeo (7 page)

A sudden and invigorating breeze snaps me out of the heated moment. Pulling back, my heart pounds as I try to regain my wits. Logan rests his forehead against mine while he calms his breathing.

“You wanted to talk?” I murmur, shyly. I think to myself how I will stupidly have to admit that Bryn is right in her assertion: I have no self-control when he’s near.

He smiles and stands, taking both my hands in his.

“I need you to say it.” He gazes at me, earnestly.

“Um. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I say, truthfully.

“You’ll take me back.”

“Oh, Logan. I can’t. Not now.”

“When? Tomorrow? Next week? A month? I’m not going anywhere I just need to know. I need to know you’ll take me back.”

I swallow. “I told you. I need some time. I don’t know how long or when. I had serious trust issues before and well, now, I don’t know. How can I trust you?”

“I’m sorry, baby.” He leans and kisses me again. His lips are warm and gentle as his tongue slips into my mouth again. For a short moment, I return the kiss and then pull away.

“Logan, don’t.” I whisper.

“Don’t what?”

“Please. I know what you’re doing. I’m like putty in your hands when you kiss me. Bryn is right I should get a restraining order.”

He laughs. “And you think that would really prevent me from coming after you?”

I shake my head. “If we are really meant to get back together then you’ll give me
time
.”

“Okay.” He says as he strokes his chin, deep in thought.

“Okay?”

“Yes. If that’s what you want. I told you: I will wait. Of course, I hope I won’t have to wait long but I’ll wait.”

“Why do I feel like you’re up to something?”

He smiles. “I’ve already told you how I feel about you. I’ve laid it all out on the table. So, as much as I want you back… the bottom line is that
you
need to want me. I want you to want me.”

Leaning forward he caresses the side of my face and then takes my chin in his hand. He rubs his thumb gently across my lower lip, sending shivers down my spine. In that moment there’s no doubt my body wants him; craves his touch. Certainly, it’s only my mind that needs convincing.

I sigh.

“But I do need to know one thing.”

“I told you…I don’t know how long.”

He shakes his head. “Are you or are you not dating him?”

I know I need to be honest with him. Besides he probably already heard about New Year’s.

“We kissed, but that’s it. We’re not dating.” I confess, guiltily.

He frowns. “You kissed him after he tried to attack you that night on the dance floor?”

“Don’t even start with me about what I should and shouldn’t be doing. Sure, I kissed him but at least I wasn’t dating someone else and there were no lap dances involved.” I huff.

He takes a breath. “Fair enough.”

“I didn’t do it to get back at you if that’s what your insinuating.” I say, angrily.

“You said it, not me. But no, I wasn’t saying it like that.” He pauses a minute and continues. “Do you
want
him?” He looks at me cautiously.

“No. I don’t. He’s a friend.”

He closes his eyes and a look of relief sweeps across his face.

“If he’s your friend, you need to stop sending him mixed messages.”

I give him an incredulous look. “Pot, kettle, black.”

“I have nothing to do with her now. Yes, I said we were friends before and I meant it. But she crossed the line and our friendship is done. So what I’m really trying to say is if you really think of him as just a friend you need to let him in on that little secret. Frankly, I think he’s got it bad for you. I can’t say I blame him, but he needs to know there’s no shot if you truly feel that way.”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, that’s how I truly feel about him.”

“Thank God.” He smiles.

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE ONE GOOD THING about having sleeping issues is that I am most always up at the crack of dawn. The house is quiet, although I can’t say the same about last night. Bryn refused to sleep at Josh’s place because she didn’t want to leave me alone. I’m not sure if she was more worried about my safety in our recently burglarized house or on the off chance Logan might make an unannounced visit. I’m leaning towards the latter.

Despite my pleas I would survive on my own, Josh ended up spending the night here. I couldn’t sleep for my own reasons as well as my noisy neighbors…translation: old house, thin walls. But I did make myself quite productive. I emailed my dad to let him know all was well and followed with an email to Professor Milton. The substitute instructor for my Advanced Shakespeare class that I promised to assist while Professor Meyer is out on maternity leave.

With Bryn and Josh, still fast asleep I tiptoe down the stairs to head out for my morning run. A few minutes later, while I’m in the kitchen eating a yogurt, Bryn walks up behind me.

I jump. “What are you doing up so early?”

“I wanted to make sure everything was all right.”

“Everything is fine with me. What about you? You were pretty out of it after all those Red Bull drinks.”

“I’m still feeling the after effects. I have so much energy. Poor Josh didn’t stand a chance.” She raises her eyebrows up and down.

“I doubt he was complaining.” I smile.

“Anyway, I barely slept and I’m sure that’s why I woke up so early.”

“Why don’t you join me on my run?” I ask, teasingly because I know how much Bryn hates running.

“Um.
Not
that much energy.” She pauses. “But I wasn’t referring to whether or not you have a hangover.”

“Oh?” I ask, confused.

“What happened with Logan?”

“We didn’t get back together if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Phew. I know I sound like a broken record but you need time…and space…a lot of space.” She emphasizes the last words.

“That’s what I told him.”

“Hm. So, you just talked?”

“I know I can’t hide anything from you so just say it.”

“Say what?” She interrupts, but I have a funny feeling she knows where I’m headed with this. She continues, “I told you so?”

“Yes.” I roll my eyes.

“Ah, yes. I knew I shouldn’t have left you two alone.”

I shrug.

“But you aren’t back together?” She stares into my eyes like she’s a police interrogator.

I shake my head. “I told you that already.”

“Just making sure. Well, what did he have to say about your new boyfriend?”

“Yes. Thanks for that.”

“Surely, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She innocently teases, although I know she purposely dropped the boyfriend bomb on Logan last night.

“Troublemaker. You know you really do need to stop saying that. I know you think it would help me if I went out with him to get my mind off Logan, but it’s not fair to Tyler. I like Tyler. I like him a lot. But what I really need right now isn’t a boyfriend…or a restraining order…I need to be alone. I need to sort things out.”

“Tyler could help you
sort
things out.” She says in a thick Southern sexy, drawl.

I frown. “He’s not helping me sort things out and he’s not helping me with what you are implying when you say
sort
.”

“Okay. Okay. I get it. You do know he’s going to be crushed?”

“Crushed?”

“Yes. He thinks you two are dating regardless of what’s going on inside your head.”

“Seriously? Just because we kissed on New Year’s?”

“Sure…that and did you forget about our double date and your cozy sleepover?”

“Why do you have to make everything sound so sexual?” I ask, annoyed.

She shrugs. “Sex on the brain. I guess.”

“No doubt. But it wasn’t like that and you know it. It was all totally innocent. You make it sound so, so…” I trail off, searching for the words when Bryn chimes in.

“Like you’re actually dating.”

I frown. “No. I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Just let him down easy. That’s all I’m sayin’.”

“You’re serious about this?”

“Serious as a fart attack.”

I laugh out loud and when I finally come up for air I say, “Bryn, it’s a heart attack. As serious as a heart attack.”

THE SUN SHINES BRIGHTLY as I make my way out the front door, hoping to get my mind off my conversation with Bryn, at least temporarily. Despite my belief that Tyler and I are not dating, I know I will have to talk to him just to be certain we are both on the same page. I understand where Bryn is coming from. I know she thinks it would help to get my mind off Logan if I had a new boyfriend. Maybe it would help? But feeling Logan’s lips on me last night made me realize that giving Tyler any false hopes would be wrong…very wrong.

I run hard. My feet pound the pavement as I make my way down our street, across campus and towards the beach. It’s such a release to run, it’s like I’m literally escaping all my confused feelings, my troubled thoughts.

Just as I finally feel like my head is getting clear, I sense a car creep up behind me. Instead of glancing over my shoulder to look, I pick up the pace and turn down a side street. My ponytail bobs up and down more rapidly as I continue to run, refusing to look back. I wonder if it’s a figment of my imagination but at that moment the long, dark car pulls, slightly closer to me.

I glance in the direction and see it’s not just any long, dark car; it’s actually a stretch limousine.

I stop running just as the car pulls to the side of the road. The tinted glass window slowly opens, revealing the passenger.

“Bryn is right. You are everywhere.” I smile, slightly while I catch my breath.

“This is a nice surprise…always a pleasure to see you.” Logan smiles. I move closer to the window as Logan glances, quickly from me to the driver. “You remember, Stan.” Stan is the chauffeur who drove Logan and I back from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara after Thanksgiving Break. My last pleasant memory before everything went wrong.

“Lovely to see you again, Emilia.” Stan nods towards me. I quickly remember how much I liked him even with such a brief meeting. His warm eyes and smile make it easy.

“Nice to see you, too.” I feel Logan’s eyes on me as I smile at Stan. I turn to look back at Logan. He gently caresses my knuckles as I lean on the open window, the touch resonating through my body.

“A surprise?” I ask, his eyes penetrating mine. “Or is this your new routine…You drive around Santa Barbara in a limo at the crack of dawn looking to pick-up girls? Sunday mornings are probably slim pickings…you might want to try this on either a Friday or Saturday night…maybe more luck.” I smirk.

He chuckles. “No. This isn’t my new routine…just today and I’m only looking to
pick-up
you.”

I smile. “I’m not sure I’m buying that.”

“Believe what you want…I was going to call you but now I’ve conveniently run into you. We’re on our way to the airport to get my dad. He’s here for business for the day and he’s hoping you’ll join us for brunch.”

“He’s hoping?”

“Yes…and I am too but I figure that goes without saying. So can you come?”

I raise a speculative eyebrow at him. “You didn’t tell him we broke up…did you?”

“I thought…or should I say hoped…we would be back together by now.”

“Sounds like I keep disappointing you.”

“Not at all. But to be perfectly honest I always wanted you. You’re just making me desire you that much more. I don’t see that as disappointing.”

“By not giving into you so easily? You know I’m not playing games. I’m not trying to get you to chase me just to catch you. I’m not doing this to get you to want me more. I wouldn’t do that.” I say, flustered.

“I know that isn’t what you’re doing, but I’m just telling you that’s what’s happening. You might think I’m going to go away…I know Bryn hopes that, but it’s not happening…I won’t. Besides, why would I think you are trying to get me to chase you? You’ve already caught me. I was just foolish enough to let you slip through my fingers. I won’t let it happen again.”

My mouth goes dry and I think my heart melts right there beside the limousine, on the sidewalk.

“So, you’ll come to brunch?”

“Not today.” I say as difficult as it is to turn him down at this moment. I know it’s still too soon to jump back into his limo as well as a relationship with him for that matter. And, as cliché as it sounds I need to look before I leap.

“More time?” He looks crestfallen.

I nod. “Plus, I need to get ready for tomorrow too. I promised to help the substitute who is filling in for Professor Meyer while she’s out on maternity leave.”

“Your Shakespeare class?”

I nod.

“Be sure to let me know if I can help you with that…you know how much I enjoy Shakespeare’s bawdy sense of humor.”

I smile. “So, I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”

He takes my hand and tenderly kisses it. Suddenly I feel that familiar tingle and struggle not to visibly melt.

“I’m sure.” He smiles before I turn to continue on my run, using all my concentration not to look back for fear my legs might give out. I take a deep breath, gathering my senses, and head down the road.

When I make my way back towards our house, I find myself nearing the street where Tyler and Josh live. I know what I must do as much as I would love to avoid the whole dating subject. It’s now or never. I take a deep breath and jog up the stairs to the front door.

I knock, softly on the door. Maybe my knock is a bit too soft, but I wait for a minute or so before I turn to leave. I’m kicking myself for chickening out but I have always hated confrontations. I avoid them at all costs. I would much rather hide out in a cave or if a cave isn’t in close proximity, I’ve been known to hide out in a library. If it means keeping people like Sebastian or Seraphina away from me, well then, I’m all for taking cover.

Since Tyler is the polar opposite of Sebastian and Seraphina, my avoidance is a bit different. The bottom line is I just don’t want to hurt him. I don’t believe what Bryn says. I don’t think he thinks we are dating. But I need to make it clear to him without disappointing him. Looking back on our New Year’s kiss, I know now it was a mistake.

I guiltily, sneak back down the stairs, reasoning with myself that he’s just not home and I will talk to him later. Just as I step off the last step, and I’m about to run home, the front door opens.

“Hi there. Are you looking for me?”

I inhale and turn around. “Hi.” I smile, slightly. Why do I feel like I’ve been caught doing something wrong?

“Just running by and you thought you’d stop by?” He asks and grins.

I walk back up the stairs to where he stands.

I laugh, nervously. “Sort of.”

“You want to come in? Can I get you some water? Red Bull?”

I smile. “No. I’ll leave the Red Bull to Bryn. By the way, you were great last night.”

“Thanks. I know you were a bit distracted.”

I look away from his stare, embarrassed. Obviously he saw me with Logan and more than likely he saw me leave with him.

“Um. Sorry.” I say as I sit down on the top step.

He sits down beside me and playfully squeezes my knee.

“I shouldn’t have said that. I’m the one who is sorry.”

I shake my head. “No. It’s okay.” I turn to face him.

“Why do I have the funny feeling you’re about to give me the let’s-be-friends speech?”

I chew on my lower lip, anxiously. “It’s not like that but…” I start to say but he interrupts.

“That doesn’t sound too promising.” He turns so we are face to face.

I sigh.

“You don’t have to tell me. I already know…it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you still have feelings for him. Am I right?”

I blink a couple times, deep in thought, searching for the right answer. “He hurt me, really hurt me. I finally feel like I’m moving on, but I just need time. I need to figure things out.”

“So, are you dating him again?” He asks, confused.

“No.”

“But you don’t want to jump back into another relationship,
with me
?” Now, it’s his turn to look anxious.

“Don’t say it like that.” I give him a reassuring smile. “Tyler, I like you. I like you a lot, but right now I don’t want to jump back into a relationship with
anyone
. Does that make sense?”

“Sure. I know it’s none of my business and I’ll probably regret telling you this, but…” He pauses, looking lost in thought.

“Go on.” I say, curiously.

“I think Logan is a dick for what he did to you. But I also know he’s miserable without you.”

I look at him, perplexed by his words and even more so by his motive for telling me this. But before I can reply, he answers what I’m thinking.

“I know because I overheard him in the water, talking to Sam.”

I gaze at him puzzled. “Why would you tell me this?”

“You know I’m crazy about you. I wish you felt as strongly about me as you do for him. If I could change that…I would, but unfortunately I have no control over it.” He pauses and smiles, slightly. “The bottom line, Emilia, is that I want you to be happy.”

“Um. I don’t know what to say.” I murmur.

“Just know I’m here for you. If you ever want to talk or
whatever
.” His lips curl up, slyly.

“
Whatever?
” I smile, knowingly at him.

“Wishful thinking on my part.” He smiles and stands.

“Tyler…” I reach my hand up towards him.

“Yes?” He takes my hand and pulls me up so I stand facing him.

“Thanks.” I say, as I reach up and kiss him on the cheek before I turn to run, leaving him behind.

AFTER BRIEFING BRYN on my surprisingly eventful run, I plop down on my bed with my new iPad. While I refused to look at my emails for the past month, I now find I have accumulated over a thousand.
Ugh
.

Glancing through them, I find the majority is junk, mostly stores promoting holiday sales. After I delete most of those, except for some that I forward on to Bryn…the perpetual shopper with or without a sale, I move on to the rest of my mail.