Waiting for You (5 page)

And then radio silence.

Audrey suddenly had the urge to throw her phone across the room, then she remembered in time that her grandpa was still asleep a few feet away.

Her neck muscles constricted from the tension the call brought her. She was thirty years old and still invisible to her parents.

It was a warm morning and she already had on yoga shorts and a tank top. She needed a walk. No way was she getting any more sleep after that phone call.

She quickly scribbled a note for her grandpa and stuck it on the fridge before quietly letting herself out.

The beach was a short drive away and when Audrey arrived, the sun was just rising, basking the sky in its ruminant glow. Audrey had forgotten the beauty of nature and she now wished she had her camera with her. This would make a beautiful moment to capture. The different hues constantly changing.

Inhaling a deep salty breath the fragrance seeped deep into her lungs. It was the first step to cleansing her bad mood and it was working. Audrey walked down the concrete stairs, her flip flops hooked between her fingers. The minute her feet touched the cool, pale sand she began to relax. She tried to remember the last time she had walked on sea sand and came up blank.

The beach was secluded this early in the morning except for a lone figure Audrey could make out far in the distance bobbing in and out of the water. The person was so deep in that she couldn’t make out who it was, which suited her fine. She needed this time for her own peace and calm.

The sand was cool as her body stretched into a few yoga poses, releasing her stiff muscles.

Yoga always brought her calm. Mostly because it was such torture on her core muscles that her mind went blank of everything else.

She eased into it, doing the familiar downward facing dog, feeling the stretch in her arms and shoulders. Upward facing dog stretched out her back and hips.

The crashing waves were a perfect crescendo to her calming state, the cool morning breeze a welcome brush on her warming skin. The solitude was calming.

An hour later and Audrey’s muscles were crying in protest as she supported her upper body against her elbows in the crow position. It was the ultimate test of core strength and it left her feeling invigorated as she calmed down and came into a relaxation position with herself seated, back straight, legs folded beneath her and hands on her knees.

Breathing in, any remaining remnants of stress began to wash out of her. She opened her eyes and smiled to herself just before she saw a dark figure approaching.

Squinting at the now bright morning sun, she took in the drenched body of a rock solid man. Her pulse picked up as the familiar sense of trepidation kicked in. Audrey refused to give in to her rising panic. She sat braced, ready to deal with the approaching stranger.

She eyed him suspiciously against the sun’s glare on the sparkling ocean. He had a hard chest that led to fine muscular ripples on his abdomen, even more defined as he walked towards her with purpose. Her gaze slid from his abs and further down to reveal his unbelievably toned hip lines shaping a sexy V oblique that disappeared into his black board shorts that were riding so low on his hips as to almost be indecent. His strong muscular legs reached Audrey and she was forced to look all the way up again and into the face of Adam.

A small sense of relief filled her.

She must have been stroking out. That was it. That was the only explanation for drooling over Adam Parker when she was clearly on a man fast.

He towel dried his dark hair and the man became even sexier. How was that even possible?

“Hey,” he greeted, his green eyes searching her tentatively.

The specimen before Audrey was simply decadent. The years had been really good to him, turning a solid boy’s body into a ripped male masterpiece. He was too beautiful to look at.

“Hey,” she parroted, noncommittally, glancing away from him.

“Mind if I sit?”

She shrugged her shoulders and he sat down beside her, the towel slung loosely around his neck. He finger combed his short hair, leaving it tousled and soft where it was longer at the top.

“Shaping up to be a beautiful day.”

“Hmm.”

“What brings you out this early?”

She turned to stare into his emerald eyes and try as she might, she couldn’t channel the anger toward him. She surprised herself by saying, “My mom.”

“Oh yeah? I haven’t seen her in years. Is she still so… high strung?”

Audrey managed a small chuckle. “That’s putting it mildly. I get a wake-up call that’s her gazetting her brilliance to me,” she explained. “No,
hi daughter, how are you?
She just prattles on about how important she is in God knows where.”

Adam smiled and gazed into Audrey’s eyes. “How
are
you, Audrey?”

Audrey sighed, surprised by Adam’s question and more taken aback by the softness of his tone. Nobody really asked her that. Her confession to Emma was as good as it got though. She wasn’t open to any more Oprah moments. Besides, she was relaxed and peaceful, she didn’t want to damper her mood. “I’m fine. Weird being back after so long but I’m fine.” She held her breath and waited for him to ask her why she was back, yet Adam just stared out into the sparkling, azure ocean.

“Was that you out there the whole time?” she gestured to the water.

“Guilty.”

“I didn’t know you were such a strong swimmer. You were fighting the waves for hours.”

Adam glanced sideways at Audrey, his single dimple denting his cheek, “You don’t know a lot about me, Aud.”

“I guess you’re right. Is that from your Navy training?” she asked. “Your ability to swim that long and hard?” Why was she engaging him?

Adam nodded. “I feel safest in the ocean. Best way to clear my head is to be buried under the heavy water.”

She wanted to ask him if he had something on his mind but dismissed it; it was something too personal to ask Adam. “How long have you been back?”

His eyes darkened. “Too long.”

Crystal Valley could do that to you. They sat in silence for a while and Audrey couldn’t decide whether it was amiable or not.

“When did you take up yoga?” he asked, breaking the stillness.

“What makes you think I didn’t always do it?”

“Because I knew you way back when and you were not a yoga type of girl.” He smiled a genuine smile and his eyes crinkled at the edges, only adding to his endearment.

Audrey was more shocked that he knew things about her. He was hardly around. When did he have time to figure things about her? “Stalker much?” Somehow, she didn’t feel unnerved or scared with Adam.

Oh God, his smile is distracting.

“Maybe I was, a little bit but only back then. You’re in the clear now.”

She scrunched her brows at him. “Why? ‘Cause I’m so detestable now?”

“Because you’re married now.”

*****

Adam didn’t know where this conversation was headed or why he was even on this path. He’d just seen Audrey in some painful looking yoga pose and the closer he had gotten to her the more ease had settled within him, despite her frostiness in their past encounters.

She had appeared calm and relaxed and smoking hot in those small fitted shorts and tank top. Her olive skin was smooth in the morning light and with her hair piled atop her head in a knot, her neck long and slender was enticing. Adam was like a moth to the flame.

Now, as he regarded her face, he could have sworn he saw her eyes flash with something. It happened so suddenly he couldn’t pin it down and she cleared her countenance as quick appeared.

“Right,” she said, nodding. She raised her knees to her chest and rested her chin atop them.

Something wasn’t right but he didn’t think she would appreciate him asking about it. His senses were on high alert with her body language speaking volumes.

He didn’t think she would be open to his prodding though. It was the first time he hadn’t been iced out by her so instead, he opted to change the topic altogether.

“So, your grandma’s garden looks good. She would be proud of the work you did.”

Her brow furrowed and he mentally kicked himself. Was he going to get anything right today??

“Thank you,” she said softly, “it’s the one thing I could do to make me feel close to her.”

Adam nodded, understanding the sentiment. On a day like today and what it represented, he didn’t want to do anything that reminded him of his dad.

“I’m sorry to hear about your dad.” The genuine sadness reflected in her chocolate eyes.

Adam felt like he was punched in the gut. It was the last thing he thought would come of his topic change. Having Audrey say it out loud just made it real. The reality of this day. Fuck.

He clenched his jaw and stood up, not wanting to lose it in front of Audrey. “I gotta go. I’ll see you around.”

With that he walked brusquely across the sand up toward his beach house on the rocks. He needed a new resolve.

Chapter 5

L
ater that day Audrey found herself wandering through the house, not really knowing what to do with her time. Every corner was polished and sparkling, the garden was over flowing with blooms, and lunch was cooked so there wasn’t anything for her to actually do.

She sat on the bed in her old room and eyed her suitcase, the one carrying her expensive camera and equipment. A sad tug poked pulled at her chest. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. Photography had been her passion all through her youth. It had taken on a new perspective when she had studied arts in college and molded the craft to a new height. Her eyes mastered vision for beauty, seeing lines and patterns, color and dimensions when others didn’t. Audrey had lost herself, on more than one occasion, in hours of taking photos. She’d been so good at it that some of her pieces had actually been sold.

She’d saved up every cent of her sales, planning on taking a world tour but had settled on getting married young instead. Sure, Michael had taken her to some places in the early years but that had been more her accompanying him on business trips rather than them taking a vacation and travelling.

She sighed, tired of feeling sorry for herself. She had neglected her craft and that was on her. And when it had counted, her photos had actually saved her.

A year ago, when things between her and Michael had reached an all-time low, she’d contemplated divorce so many times but how could she challenge a man like Michael? He was wealthy and well connected. She only had her grandpa to lean on, her parents, too involved in saving the rest of the world that they couldn’t see their only child struggling. He’d started to imprison her in their mansion often hiding her car keys. The car she damn well owned! They were childless, pet-less and often servant-less which made for a very quiet home. Audrey often thought she was losing her mind, the silence was deafening.

When she did leave the house it was only for him to drop her off at the country club to mingle with the wives of his business partners. The snooty, judgmental women who always made Audrey feel insignificant. Audrey had become a pawn in Michael’s life. To the outside world she had made it big in Manhattan in reality, she was less than what she was when she left Crystal Valley. She dressed the part and smiled the part but she had lost touch of who she was.

The day she had escorted him to the Country Club for some event or other, Audrey had snuck in her camera in her large purse. She’d been desperate to reconnect to a semblance of her old life – to anything that gave her existence. She’d shot a few pictures of the lush blooming gardens at the estate and had lost track of where she was going, she was merely following the path her lens took her.

She’d walked so far back to the end of the estate where she had found Michael talking to some men that were clearly not part of the club’s membership. It was a mystery how they got in, they were unmistakably street thugs. She had been concerned that he was in the process of being abducted but then he shook hands with one of the leather clad thugs and Audrey’s radar had gone off. Instinctively she had zoomed her lens in and had snapped picture after picture. To her shock, drugs and money were exchanged. She’d even photographed as she watched Michael snorting a line of cocaine.

What happened to the man she had married? Or had she not seen this person all along?

She had mulled over the photographs she’d taken for a while until she had found a way to contact the DEA, not even certain it would amount to anything. It was difficult with no phone access but she had found a way and then she had snuck into Michael’s office one night while he was showering and she quickly emailed the proof to her contact.

It was a stroke of luck that they were actually investigating Michael for a similar charge. What she had no clue of was that he was one of the major players in a drug ring. Her misfortune was that she had not completely deleted the files from Michael’s computer. And when he had discovered what she had done…

Audrey closed her eyes, not wanting to remember the shouting. The violence. The paralyzing fear and then the absolute darkness.

When the cops swooped in and audits were conducted, she was told that, in fact, they were nearly broke – all their wealth came from drug money. Audrey had felt sick to her stomach that day. She had taken her car and her few belongings that
she
owned and she had run.

Now, she stared at the camera bag, unsure how to proceed with the craft. Her fingers craved to feel its weight and texture, fiddling unconsciously with the attachments that she had grown so accustomed to.

She didn’t feel inspired. She needed something to do. Free time was bad for her mind.

Grandpa Joe had gone out into town. The silence of an empty house still made her uneasy but she was never truly alone when she could hear the birds outside or the neighbor’s lawn mower running.

She found herself staring up at the trap door to the attic-the only room in the house that she hadn’t gone through. She pulled the ladder down and ascended into the dusty room, locating the single light switch near the entrance and flicking it on. Thankfully the swinging bulb actually worked. The small room illuminated from the pale yellow light and Audrey studied the pile of boxes in the corner. All covered with a thick layer of dust. The rickety looking shelves against the far back wall were slightly askew and filled with old trinkets. Waving her hands in front of her face to clear out the dust motes, she walked to the single window and cranked it open, having to give it a hefty shove into submission.

The warm air was welcome in the musty room.

She peeked into a few boxes and noticed odd items like old curtains, some ornaments that appeared as though they survived the nuclear holocaust days, a few old prom dresses of hers that needed to be burned at the stake but nothing of real value. She came upon a trunk which she recognized.

It was the box that used to be kept in her room as a child where she had stored all her most precious belongings. She swept her hand across it, swiping off a mountain of dust, causing her to sneeze.

She sat on a wooden crate beside the trunk as she lifted the lid.

A smile curved her lips as she fingered the soft blanket she had cherished in her youth. The blanket her grandma had embroidered her name into, making it special just for Audrey. She placed it on her lap, letting the soft fabric touch her skin, giving her a sense of homey comfort. Audrey dug some more and found a few old birthday cards, some local concert tickets, and a pair of gorgeous gold heels. Her laugh echoed in the quiet dusty room. Her very first pair of class. It had a high pencil heel with a platform giving it height in front. She had loved those shoes. Audrey kicked off her sandals and slipped on the heels. Yip, they still fit beautifully. She kept them on, liking how they made her feel, connected to the old Audrey.

Digging in deeper, her discovery included the scrapbook she and Emma had put together in their senior year. She opened the first page and found the two of them, probably seven years old, front teeth missing and arms wrapped around each other with wide smiles. Audrey touched the photo and smiled at the youthful happiness. The next page revealed them a little older doing cartwheels in her grandpa’s back yard, another of them lounging by Emma’s pool sipping mock-tails and wearing bikinis and fancy sunglasses trying their best to guise themselves like sophisticated actresses. She flipped through a few more pages and Audrey recalled the days she and Emma had spent as teens with their friends. Frivolous moments captured their youthful innocence. It made Audrey happy.

The next few pages showed pictures she had taken herself and it reminded her exactly of why she enjoyed the art. There were some silly photos like one of Emma in the distance with her back to Audrey and Audrey holding up a strawberry to reflect a “butt”, another of Emma with a full cartoon face drawn on the back of her hand which she used to cover her face, her mouth making weird poses. It looked ridiculous and Audrey found herself laughing at the memories.

Something within Audrey stirred and she could feel the familiar itch to get back out with her camera.

She turned the last page and a brown envelope fell out. She picked it up and opened the flap, pulled out a short stack of photographs she had long forgotten about. Snap shots of Adam.

She flipped through them as she recalled the stolen moments she had captured. Moments when he was in his own yard, laughing with a friend, or when he was on his cell phone, deep in thought or working on the car with his dad, heads bowed together in concentration. She squinted closer and took in the carefree young boy he was and compared it to the man he had become. He was different now, harder almost. Not just physically but emotionally, too. He appeared happy and laughing on the outside but she saw the differences, as though life had been hard on him.

She noticed the expression that had flashed in his green eyes earlier when she had mentioned his dad and how quickly he had rushed off. She had been confused at first but the more she thought of it she realized it must be a sore topic for him. Thinking of the loss of his dad made her think of her grandma. And all over again, her heart was sad.

The door opened and closed downstairs, signaling her grandpa had returned.

“
Filho
?” he called out. “Are you home?”

“I’m up in the attic grandpa,” she replied

A moment later the older man climbed up the ladder and eyed her out, a half smile creasing his lips. “Find anything interesting?”

“Just some of my old things,” she replied, holding up the now closed scrapbook.

“Maybe it’s time we cleaned out this place. I’m an old man and don’t have much need for these stored things. Your grandma, bless her soul, she was a bit of a hoarder.”

It took her an hour to drag a few boxes out and pack them into her small car. She quickly washed her face and changed out of her dusty clothes before heading into town. At the last minute she grabbed her camera,
just in case.

After dropping off the boxes for donation, she found herself driving inland towards denser fields, only to realize she had arrived at the cemetery. It had been a few years but she still remembered where her grandma’s grave lay. She walked through the pathway of overhanging trees, taking in the too many tombstones. Families that died together, the tiny graves of babies and children; parents and siblings. Audrey felt the weight of sadness that lingered in a place like this.

Audrey found her grandma’s tombstone, nestled under a large oak tree. She knelt down and touched the marble, reading the epitaph.
Beloved Wife, mother, grandmother
. Audrey’s throat squeezed and the prickling of tears behind her eyes burned as took a steadying breath. “Hi Grandma,” she began. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come visit you.” She swallowed hard. “Grandpa is ok, a little older but you know him, strong as an ox.” Audrey smiled. “I miss you. So much sometimes that it hurts. I wish you were here to guide me and tell me how to pick up the pieces. You probably already know this but New York didn’t work out as I expected. I feel so defeated, Grandma.” A single tear slipped down her cheek and she hastily brushed it off. “I feel like I let you down.”

A breeze rustled the leaves in the trees and swept across her cheek. Audrey could almost pretend it was her grandma reaching out.

“I wish I had stayed with Grandpa longer after you died. He misses you so.”

She remained awhile, talking to her grandma in spirit and reflecting on their moments together. By the time she was ready to leave, the sun was lowering in the sky. She started to make her way back when she noticed a figure crouched a distance away. The figure had his back to her but she could swear it was Adam, somehow in tuned to the man’s presence no matter where they were. She approached with caution as she took in his hunched shoulders, muscles tensed as he stared at a tombstone. She followed his gaze to read the date listed below. Today’s date.

Oh, Adam
. It hit her then, why he had gotten so cagey earlier at the beach when she mentioned his dad. Today was the anniversary of his death.

She crushed a twig beneath her foot and Adam spun around. The look in his eyes was alert and ready for combat but they softened when he saw it was her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” she started.

“It’s fine,” he stated, somewhat aloof. “I was just leaving.”

“No, please don’t, not on my account.” She didn’t know what to say to him. The man whom she had shared so intimately with years ago and who stood before her now, practically a stranger. She took a breath. “Your dad was a great man Adam. Taken too soon in life but he left his mark on the world. He certainly did with me.”

“Thank you,” he said roughly, not quite meeting her eyes.

She nodded in response then shuffled back on the path to the exit.

She got to the car and lifted her camera just as she heard Adam behind her.

“You still into that?” he asked, his voice gruff but not sounding as distant as he did earlier.

“Sometimes. It’s been awhile but I’m looking for some inspiration.”

“There’s a great spot out by Mountain Point, best views and the setting sun will get you some decent shots. It’s not a commonly known spot. Secretly hidden, very few locals even know about it.”

“Oh, that sounds great, thanks. Can you tell me how to get there?”

He stared at her for a beat, as though he were mulling something over before he spoke. “Follow me, I’ll take you there.”

Audrey was a little surprised and before she could protest, Adam was in his truck and she was following. Fifteen minutes later he led her off the road, through a short dirt path and they parked off in a small clearing. She stepped out and soaked in the beauty.

They were surrounded by a canopy of lush green trees, flowers of every color sprouting through hidden nooks, crannies and crevices. She heard the sound of rushing water and as she stepped a few feet ahead she could see a clear brook with large rocks that led to what she was sure would be a magnificent waterfall up ahead.