Waiting in the Wings (30 page)

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Authors: Melissa Brayden

Tags: #Fiction, #Lesbian

BOOK: Waiting in the Wings
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I looked back at her with mock gratitude. “Thank you, your highness. Now, might I interest you in some wine? There’s a bottle of red in the cabinet.”

“I’ll take a glass, yeah.”

I poured the glasses and we moved into the small living room. The temperature had dropped outside so I took the liberty of starting a small fire in the fireplace. As I turned back to Adrienne sitting on the couch, I smiled because she looked completely cozy. Her feet were tucked underneath her and she cradled her wine glass in both hands as if to warm it. I took a seat on the other end of the couch and relaxed. It had been a long day, and though it had been fun, it was nice to just veg a little.

We sat in silence for a while, entranced by the fire and lost in the way it danced. It was Adrienne who spoke finally. “I never told you, but I loved
Tenth Avenue
. It showed a whole different side of you, Jenna. I was proud of you for making it.”

“Thank you,” I said. “It’s strange admitting this, but I wondered what you’d think of it, if you ever saw it, that is. I used to do that sometimes, try to figure out what you’d think of things. Then I’d realize what I was doing and get angry at myself. Stupid, I know.” I got up and walked across the room toward the fire, staring into it, embarrassed by what I’d confessed.

“It’s not stupid at all,” she said. “We were important to each other. I think that’s only normal. It is comforting to hear I wasn’t the only one thinking about us, and I did…think about us.”

I turned around, perplexed. “I wouldn’t have guessed that. In fact, I was sure you didn’t.”

“Why would you think that? That’s ridiculous.”

Here we go.
The feelings I’d kept under lock and key for several years were bubbling to the surface with renewed vigor. “Because you were the one who walked away. When I asked you to wait for me, to make it work between us, you said no.” My voice sounded angry. I didn’t want it to, but it did. “For you to do that, to be
able
to do that, told me everything I needed to know about where you stood. So, no, I didn’t presume you spent much time thinking about me after that day.”

Adrienne sighed and shook her head in frustration. “You still don’t get it. It had nothing to do with how I felt about you, Jenna. I was crazy about you. But it killed me to know you weren’t willing to

sacrifice a job for me. Yes, you offered me a small role in your life, but it felt cheap.” She looked at the floor and her voice softened. “I felt unimportant, like you were trying to fit me in, and I was
tired
of feeling unimportant to the people I cared about. Do you know what that’s like? For once, I wanted to matter most. And it hurt too much when you made it clear I didn’t.”

I considered this. I thought of the way Adrienne’s parents had treated her since she was a child and realized how my actions might have seemed similar in her eyes. This new understanding of how she must have felt washed over me in a painful rush and I felt an ache in my chest when I looked at her. “Listen to me very carefully. I would never have wanted you to feel that way. There was no one who mattered more to me than
you
did. I’m so sorry if I didn’t make that clear.” There were tears gathering in her eyes as I spoke. “I took the job because I was young and stupid and so driven toward my goal that sometimes I could only see two feet in front of me. Then when you never asked me not to go, I took that as a sign that you weren’t all in. If I’d thought you were—”

“Would it have changed anything?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I can’t speak for that girl from four years ago and I don’t want to. I can tell you that I know who I am now and I see a lot of things I would do differently. For what it’s worth, Adrienne, I’m so sorry.”

She shook her head. “It’s not just on you. We both made a lot of mistakes. I should have been more understanding of how big a chance you had in front of you.”

I nodded my head and we sat in silence as I reflected on all that

had gone wrong.

She stood up, shaking herself out of it with a smile. “Ancient history, right? If it’s okay with you, I think I’m going to call it a night. Guest room this time.”

She started to go and I decided it was now or never. I mustered every ounce of my courage and spoke to her retreating form. “You know, it’s hard getting over someone in the public eye. I did my best to avoid photos of you in magazines, and keep images of you off my TV screen.” She turned around, a questioning look on her face.

I pushed forward. “It was hard, but eventually I did it, and moved on with my life. Then the film happened. Working with you was so different than I thought it would be. It was you again. Not the face in the photos, but rather the girl I used to know who loved cookies and ice cream late at night and has to beat everyone at bowling. Only this time our connection was reestablished slowly, and I feel like I’ve gotten to know you in this whole new way.” I shook my head ready to make the final leap. “You’re all I think about, Adrienne. You’re all I want to think about.” She didn’t say anything. In fact, there was very little expression on her face and I felt a deep sense of dread for what I’d just revealed. “What am I doing?” I whispered mostly to myself, as I turned back to the fire. I felt exposed and fragile, and wished deeply that I’d kept my mouth shut.

Adrienne set her wine glass on the end table. “Um, I don’t know what to say to that. What I can tell you is that for years I did a lot of what you just described. I wondered what you were doing, what your life was like, who you were seeing. But that felt wrong.” She slowly closed the distance between us as she continued. “I made myself turn off my thoughts of you because I was angry and hurt by how it all ended. But as I stand here now, I want so badly to believe what you’re telling me because I don’t want to ignore the feelings I have for you anymore. I’m tired of doing that.”

She stood in front of me. “If you don’t want this, tell me to stop now.” Ever so slowly, she brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. I inhaled at the touch. She took my wine glass from my hand and placed it on the mantle. “Or now.” She brought her forehead to mine and we stood there for few moments, breathing the same air, our bodies less than an inch apart. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest. “Last chance,” she whispered, meeting my eyes before her gaze dropped, settling decidedly on my mouth. She dipped her head slowly and brushed my lips with hers, feather light. She pulled back and looked at me, nervous. Adrienne had made the first move and now she was looking to me for reassurance. The unabashed need I saw in her eyes mirrored my own.

If she needed reassurance, I could give it to her. I moved my hands into her hair and pulled her lips to mine, devouring her mouth.

She kissed me back, giving as much as she was getting. Her mouth was hot and incredibly demanding in a good way. It was as if I couldn’t get enough. Her tongue was a wondrous thing that traveled the inside of my lips and beyond with skilled precision. My body seared on the inside and my stomach tightened. I wondered how I could have lived without this for so damn long. Her hands were on my hips now, pulling me firmly against her body. I reached around and cupped her buttocks, pulling her closer still. Adrienne whimpered into my mouth and moved her hands under my shirt, up my spine. I hissed in a breath at her warm touch on my bare skin. My head was spinning and I could scarcely think, my body aching with urgent arousal. Each touch was amazing and torturous at the same time. I rocked my hips against Adrienne as she kissed, sucked, and licked the expanse of my neck. I couldn’t take much more. “Stop, stop, stop,” I managed. “I’m dying here.”

Adrienne rested her heated forehead against my neck, catching her breath. “Where’s your room?” she asked, lifting her head and looking at me, her eyes dark, lustful.

Wordlessly, I took her hand and walked her there, not bothering to turn on a light as we entered the bedroom. The illumination from the hallway was enough to maneuver by.

We stood facing each other next to the bed, our pace now noticeably measured. Adrienne put her arms around my neck and our bodies came together once again. Her mouth close to my ear, she whispered achingly, “I’ve never wanted anything in my life more than I want you right now.” She claimed my mouth with a tender, searching kiss and pulled away, taking two steps back. With her eyes never leaving mine, she unzipped the sundress and let it fall to the floor. “If you keep looking at me like that, I’m not going to be able to get through this.”

“I don’t think I could stop if I wanted to. God, you make me feel so many things,” I said shakily, running my hand through my hair.

She took one step toward me, undoing the clasp on her bra as she walked. Her breasts seemed fuller than I remembered and my hands longed to touch her. Next, she hooked her thumbs into the waistband of the panties she wore and slid them off.

I closed the distance between us, kissing her neck and cupping each breast, feeling the weight of them in my hands. I rolled her nipples between my thumb and forefingers, squeezing softy and then with more pressure. Adrienne tossed her head back, moaning softly and digging her fingernails into my shoulders. I found her mouth again and pulled her bottom lip gently with my teeth as I kissed her, all the while walking us backward to the bed.

Adrienne sat, her hands moving to my jeans. “Off,” she breathed and unzipped them, easing the denim down my legs. I pulled my tank top over my head and my bra joined it shortly on the floor. Adrienne kissed the skin below my naval before sliding the cotton briefs I wore off my body. I stepped out of them and watched as she ran her flattened palms down my stomach. She leaned back onto the bed, gently pulling me with her. I braced myself above on my forearms, savoring the anticipation. Finally, I lowered myself on top of her, our bodies now touching fully and completely with no barriers between us. I closed my eyes as my skin met hers. It was a feeling like no other.

“Oh my God,” she breathed, holding my hair back so she could see my face.

I nodded my head slightly. “I know.”

Adrienne brought my face down to hers and took her time kissing my chin, followed by my eyelids and forehead before covering my mouth with hers. The kiss moved from sweet to intense in a matter of seconds. Adrienne rolled us over, positioning herself on top. She moved down my body, taking my breast into her mouth. I gasped for air as her teeth skated across my nipple before taking the whole thing into her mouth. She sucked gently and increased pressure, driving me absolutely wild. I was vaguely aware of my hips moving against her, searching, reaching. Reacting, she readjusted, placing her thigh between my legs, moving it firmly against me. Her hips straddled my leg. She continued her exploration of my breasts as our bodies settled into a rhythm. When she felt me pick up speed and strain desperately to get closer to her, she pulled her leg away and reached between us, tracing the inside of my thigh with one finger.

“Jesus,” I whispered, covering my eyes.

“Nope,” she replied. “Try again.”

The torture continued as she moved to my other thigh, delicately teasing and stroking the skin there. Next, she moved her hand through the curls at the base of my thighs, lightly touching, massaging.

“Adrienne…” I pleaded, unable to handle much more. I’d never been this aroused in my life.

In response, she explored further, her fingers finally landing where I needed them most. My hips began to rock against her hand, my body on the brink of absolute explosion. I’d been with a lot of women in the past few years, but nothing ever came close to this, to what Adrienne was able to elicit in me. She slipped one finger easily inside, pulled it back out again and returned it, this time adding a second. Little shockwaves of pleasure traveled through my body with each thrust. She continued the motion causing a deep stirring in my stomach and an intense warmth that radiated downward. I opened my eyes and met hers. She held my gaze as her thumb pressed firmly against my clit, finally sending me into an orgasm that eclipsed all others. My body, mind, and soul were now joined with Adrienne in every way possible, and I struggled to maintain a coherent thought. My body convulsed and I know I called out as unadulterated pleasure rocketed through my system. My breathing was ragged and my body pulsed with the last of the remaining shockwaves. Adrienne crawled up my body and laid herself half on top of me, her face next to mine. She stroked my cheek and kissed the side of my temple tenderly. She rolled onto her back, and stared up at the ceiling. “That was incredible, different than I remembered. Better, if that’s even possible.”

“What is this thing?” I wondered aloud.

She pushed herself up on her elbow and looked down at me. “I don’t know. But after all this time, it only feels stronger. Jenna, I look at you across a room and I melt, and when I see you looking back at me the way you sometimes do and I feel this need for you. It’s like I—”

I captured her mouth with mine, silencing her, simply because I couldn’t stand to go another minute without touching her the way I wanted to. With one hand on her shoulder I pushed her softly onto

her back and rolled on top of her. Knowing she would already be ready for me, I reached a hand in between us and cupped her tightly. A ragged gasp escaped from Adrienne’s lips and she pushed her cheek against the pillow, her nails now digging into my back. She held on tight as I began to slowly stroke her slickness. I brushed my fingers across her clit ever so lightly, offering just enough and moving away. I wasn’t satisfied with this level of intimacy, however. I needed more. I kissed my way down her body, dwelling for a few moments on her breasts, knowing how sensitive they were. She gripped the sheet beneath her, her hips moving rhythmically against my still exploring hand.

As I moved past her stomach, I stopped, stunned at what I saw. I hadn’t noticed it earlier, perhaps because the lights were dim, but there on Adrienne’s hip was a small unassuming tattoo in the form of a Superman logo. I shook my head slightly in disbelief, taken back to our first date on the boardwalk—how new it had been between us back then. I kissed the small expanse of skin in reverence. The discovery only fueled my passion. I continued my quest down her body and as my mouth finally settled firmly on its destination, I heard her whimper softly. My tongue delicately tasted before increasing pressure and pulling her more fully into my mouth. I felt Adrienne’s hands in my hair, caressing but also pulling me desperately closer. I pushed my fingers into her center, pumping slowly at first and then increasing speed, all the while sucking harder. It didn’t take long before she tumbled over the edge, crying out and nearly pushing off the bed. I held on to her hips tightly as she rode out the final waves of pleasure, her body glistening, stunning.

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