Waiting Period (17 page)

Yeah, its called mustard asshole.

Oh, theres a million variations. But nothing tonight. Tonight everything is cool. Just … just what? Cant sit still. Better walk it off … as much as possible anyway. Can always watch some dumbass television. That should help me sleep. Nice night for a walk, not too hot. Good idea. But just walk, no skipping and jumping up in the air and clicking my heels. And no bars and talks with bartenders. Yeah, a good walk will help. I/ll take a constitutional. Health and strength all the way.

Truly I say to you, I find no fault in this man. I rejoice and am exceedingly glad. Walk, my son, walk and feel the fresh refreshing breeze on your face. Whatever befalls you you will never be alone. Look … look now at the stars in the heavens, do they not seem brighter, if just by a little? The Blessings of the night are upon you my son. Truly I say to you you shall prosper in all your endeavors in my name.

Another day, another day. Yes indeed. And what do you have in store for me ‘day’? Will you tell me now or slowly feed it to me one breath at a time. Feel a little bit like Cyrano, but giants I can do without. Now the blonde that served me this morning … now thats a whole other matter. Oh is she delectable. Such musical movements … and not like a metronome … no indeed. Really fluid, as the saying goes. Time for a song and dance ala Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly. Maybe a little ‘Ive got the world on a string’ … yeah, sure do feel like that, but who needs the whole world? For now one lovely blonde will do. Should really check that out. Oh well, later for that. Time to check the web page. Cant wait any longer. Tantalized myself enough. A tap a click a click a tap and ……… Herrrrrrrrres Jimbo!!!! Baboom. Okay, we get to the end and …… yep there it is. Some people have already made the connection. Its amazing, they must spend hours every day searching for connections and posting information. But this is a little obvious. Anyway, god bless these people, wow … look at the speculations … conspiracy, conspiracy … the wrath of god, now thats a good one … Holy Mackerel! THE NIGGAS REVENGE. This is really sick … Sure have a lot of choices for responsibility: NAACP, Jackson, Farrakhan, SLC, SNCC, oh man, the list is endless. You know, this is just like the Kennedy killing: No one can believe that one little obscure misfit like Oswald could cause such a momentous event. Only in this case the event is not momentous, not in the Kennedy sense, and its something that really needed doing. But Im just me so it cant be a conspiracy. Wonder if I should suggest that on the web? No, no point. No tempting fate. No downloading info or even printing it. Just a little perusal from time to time, and never too long. Just long enough to make my little heart go pitter patter. Oh, this is so great. Its really starting to settle in … hes really dead. Big Jim Kinsey is dead and so is good ol boy Clyde. Damn! Cold stone dead in the market. Yowza, yowza, yowza, they done checked out an dont know if they has did any checkin in yet. Yeah, thats a good one, Whats your forwarding address? Paper burns and e-mail melts. Ha ha, thats good … yeah, I like that: What did you do with your sheet? Hey, maybe theyll wrap them in them? A few hundred years it may look like another shroud of Turin. That would really confuse posterity. What the hell, no reason they shouldnt be as confused as we are … Yeah, no need to try, theyll accomplish it all by themselves just as we did. E may equal MC2, but ignorance is truly bliss. Oh man, Ive got to stop spending all my time with this web page. Fun is fun, but theres still a lot to do, much that needs accomplishing. Aint that something, dont want to close, well … there you go Jimbo. Yeah, just like that hes gone. A click of the mouse and no more Big Jim. Period. Back to browsing the news. Damn, wish I could see what in the hell is nagging at me. Something, something, something … right in front of my nose and I cant see it … yet. Shit! Better cool it. Never see it this way and I/ll drive myself nuts. Okay, lets work for a few hours, eat dinner, and see what happens …

                                         Maybe a little walk around the block, slowly, on the way to the deli would be a good idea. Work went well. Always does when I dont think about it. Yeah, sure, but how do you not think about a white monkey? Just have to get my head involved in something else and it will come. Yeah, speaking of which I hope the redheads working tonight. Hey, thats a good one, red, white and blue. A blonde in the morning, a redhead in the evening, and Im blue … oh, am I blue over you. Perhaps thats the distraction I need. Best one at a time though. Want to do a thorough job. Always aim to please. Concentration, thats the key. Keep them coming back. But not too often, no need for greed. Just doing what I can to keep the old red, white and blue flying. Perhaps a soft landing is even better. Oh, Im sure they are soft … and cuddly. Thats important—ah, she is here. No wonder Im not all there, just look at the music. Better not sit at one of her tables, cant trust myself. Better to worship from afar than never to have worshipped at all.

Can I help you?

I

hope so sweetheart, you see—

Can I get you something to eat?

Oh … yes. I/ll have the brisket and a salad.

What kind of dressing would you like on your salad?

Italian.

You got it.

Ah, so I have … But isnt that always the way … you have everything except what you want at the moment? But I have no complaints. A little will of the wisp is flying around my awareness, but it will come in for a landing … Providence will see to that. Sooner or later I/ll see it.

Here you go, brisket, salad. Can I get you anything else? Something to drink?

No, no thanks. This is fine.

Yes, yes, this is fine … real fine the way she walks and … and whatever. Oh Red … Who the hell ever said theyd rather be dead than red? What madness. Red is the color of my true loves hair … hmmm the brisket really is pretty good. Salads not bad too. Funny how different dressings taste so different in various places. Same old bowl of shredded lettuce, but sometimes the Italian tastes like Irish sauce. Wonder if they have a particular dressing? Probably mayo and ketchup … with a touch of tabasco. No self-respecting Italian would call this dressing good, but if you forget what its supposed to be and accept it for what it is, a deli dressing, its not so bad. Its like canned spaghetti. Loved it when I was a kid. Nothing like real pasta, but if you forget that its not bad. But of course, you can never really forget whats real and whats a hopeless imitation. Like ol Jimbo. Cant forget he was just imitation people, a piece of detritus that was somehow scraped off the shoes of the fisherman or some ditch digger, and somehow got classified as a human being. World is filled with such insults to the human race. And theyre not all politicians either. Or televangelists. Or even teamsters. Why, some of my best friends are teamsters—wait a minute, lets not go that far. Those bastards … Have to pay more for a loaf of bread and a quart of milk … Oh well, time to take a short walk and get back to work.

                                        Jesus, pictures of the ‘Royal Family’ on the front page of the paper. What the hell is that all about? If they want to keep those parasites thats fine with me, but why clutter up our papers with stories about bonnie prince charlie and—wait a second … prince … prince … I almost got it. Somethings—of course, Machiavelli. Divide and conquer. Dont let the right hand know what the left is doing. Wait … wait a second … something is happening—ah, the fresh air is good … if you can consider it fresh. So, deception … divide and conquer … well, conquer in a limited sense. Certainly not going to ‘take’ anything. Royal Family. Why does that keep spinning in my head? Royal Family, Royal Family. What in the hell do they have to do with this? Royal pain in the ass. Who deceives who … whom? Why????What in the hell can this have to do with Royalty? Royal mess???? Royal screw up???? Royal, Royal … Cincinnati Royals … oh come on. Madness. Well, she is a nutcase … but nothing to do with me. No. Family. What family? Whose family? Family? Family????

     Family!!!! Somethings coming together—How in the hell did I get to the park? Oh well, sit on the bench under a tree. Hmmm, surprisingly quiet. Really pleasant. Just a few blocks from the house. Wonder why I never came here before. Nice and quiet too. Damn … birds and everything. Probably a lot of nests. Good trees for them … heavy foliage. Hide from predators. Protect their family. Seems like a lot of energy in nature goes into protecting the family … the klan. Yeah, some wear skirts, some wear sheets. Hey, wait a second. Thats right. Every one wants to protect the family … whatever or whoever you consider your family.

From the dumb street kids to the mafia. Its the family. Okay, okay. The family! Must be plenty of them. Special legislation, prosecutors, investigators, undercover agents, witness protection program, an entire legal sub-culture to combat an illegal sub-culture. Yeah, chirp away little birdies … or sing, as they used to say in the old gangster movies. Eddie G and Cagney never sang. They told the bulls where to shove it. Oh, its really starting to come together. Yeah, lets all sing like the birdies sing, tweet tweet … Sammy the Bull. Yeah, thats a good place to start. Probably take a while, but I/ll get all the info I need. I can really feel it happening. Its coming together. Must keep my mind open and just get the information. Leave the results in the hands of Providence. I/ll know what to do when the time is right. I always know … Well, better get back to work—no! Take it easy. Let it continue to gel. Yeah … tomorrows plenty of time. Just let it be … yeah, and present itself to me. Just as it always does.

Is it not joyous to see a man of faith? Indeed, every soul in the Universe rejoices and sings his praises. It takes but one man of faith to transform the world, and thus does my son transform this world of ego and mockery. Oh my faultless son, some day you will hear the Heavens sing, the very stars kneel at your feet. Yet you think not of these things, but only of the task at hand. Meditate well on the task, my son, all has already been given you. Continue to surrender to the task and your awareness will be illuminated at every step. You are the aurora borealis of my life.

Well, what do we have so far … a lot of families loosely connected and/or opposed … a lot of in-laws and outlaws … to coin a phrase. Plenty of rivalry in New York. And elsewhere. Advantage here is I dont want it to look like a normal death … yeah, except that killing each other is a normal death … if they dont kill themselves with cigarettes and espresso. Okay, lets get serious for a minute. The danger is to kill them without getting caught … by them or the police. However, I also have the advantage of not needing to be completely surreptitious. Its important it looks just like any other gangland killing … and god knows there are abundant examples to copy. Safest if done from a distance, but close enough for accuracy. Cant look like an accident. Must make them think another family did it. Havent had a good gang shoot-out for a long time. Before Im through theyll be knocking each other off like a free lunch, free lunch??? Where the hell did that come from? Okay, a jokes a joke, and a good laugh will heal anything, but I have to stay serious long enough to map this out. Now, New York is always the center of attention, so thats where I start. But need to know where else. Must have everything clearly organized and defined before I start. Imperative. Dont need too many cit—yeah … oh yeah, thats right. Important thing is that it looks like somebody is trying to take over the mob … hmmm … Oh shit, wait a minute. Maybe I dont need to concentrate only on the old wise guys. Yeah … Those crazy Russians are driving a lot of people nuts. Hit one … maybe two … wise guy places … yeah, sounds good, one or two of those and then a Russian ‘club’. Theyll be at each others throats. Yeah, theyre crazier than the Sicilians. Okay … lets see. I start with a ‘social club’, maybe even the one Gotta used to go to, and stir up a little trouble. Have to make them believe the Russians are behind it … Whats their favorite thing? Seems like just killing. There must be a method associated with them more than just a few shots in the head???? Yeah, but how would I do—No! Cant take that attitude. Cant start thinking I cant do this or cant do that. Establish the right way to do it and I/ll know how. So … Okay, they love to blow things up, be boom. But how—relax. Let it come. Well … wiring a car is out. Need to get too close … and its an old wise guy method. Also too neat. Russians are nuts. Theyd blow up a whole building to open a coconut. Want it to look unplanned. Like walking down the street and suddenly deciding to toss a hand-grenade. Real subtle. And obvious. Make it so they figure it has to be the fuckin Russians. Yeah, no kiss of death, no shots in the head and throat, and no last meal. Hey, hold the scintilla, I gotta take care of business here—Right, right. Serious. Okay, so they know its the Russians. The mob is better organized. Should have troops in the streets in minutes … hours. So, I start where???? Hey, I have to drop this for a while. Take a break and get something to eat. No rush. Easy does it. Dont go running around so fast I pass myself. Nice and easy …

… well …

I guess thats settled … at least for now. That should make it easy for the wise guys. After all, I do aim to please. Make it as easy as possible to … shall we say … make each others acquaintance. A club in Coney Island is blown up and they visit the Russians in Brighton Beach. Probably take a couple of days. Make sure they know whats happening. Then the Russians will be very perturbed. Who knows what those crazy bastards will do? When the timing is right … Mulberry St. Yeah … sounds good. Then move on. Yeah. Okay. Seems St Louis and New Orleans would be best. Logistics are difficult … yeah … but just seems like theyre the towns. Could lead to such wonderful chaos. Still a lot of work to do. Seems so slow: Month and this is as far as Ive gotten. Oh well, theyre not going anywhere. Best to be thorough. Will have to check those two towns out. Get most of what I need on Internet, but ultimately this is hands-on work. So the plot thickens and the plan hatches … Okay, time to find out how to make an explosive device … nice and small. Yeah … then a delivery system. One that keeps me out of harms way. A light charge. Of course. No need to be too devastating. Risk my neck. Need a substantial explosion, not monumental. Right. Well, that makes it easier. Well, just keep doing the footwork. It will all work out. Never spent so much time on the Net. Knew it was endless, but never checked it out like this. Okay, first things first. Explosives.                                                   … jesus krist, why do I read this shit? Get myself so pissed off … krist, these people are sick … and they make me sick. Got to learn not to read this stuff. Let myself get suckered into a headline and then the next thing I know Im out of my gourd. Screw the ignorant bastards. Okay … enough. Close it out. Whatever. Not going to allow myself to get so pissed off I lose track of my job. Back to the formulas for simple explosives, and not the reasons for blowing up the government … Yeah, that is pretty funny, yours truly the number one defender of the government. Actually nothing incongruous about that. The fact that I accepted the responsibility for freeing us veterans of a viper employed by the government doesnt mean I want to overthrow the government and kill innocent people. Jesus … more than 160 people. Not counting the trauma to the survivors. Kids suddenly without a parent, or parents, parents suddenly without children. My god, innocent little children, babes in arms … theres no words. Look at that, I click off the page and Im sitting here running these things through my head, over and over. Have to stop reaching for incidents to torture myself. Time to get working on this stuff. Should be able to put this all together without too much trouble. Few ingredients. Couple of pieces of wood. What about testing it? Hmmm … good question. Find some desolate area and use a very small amount might not sound any louder than a firecracker. But theres always the possibility it will attract unwanted attention. Unwanted??? any attention is unwanted. I dont know. Where can I go … where???? Plenty of densely wooded areas I can go to. Be unseen. Yeah, but anyone else there will be unseen. And god only knows the consequences. Suppose a fire starts. Last thing I want to do is destroy a woodland. Plus I might be seen. I dont know. Damn. Didnt think this part would be so difficult. Last time I just went ahead and used it and it turned out fine. But this is different …