Waiting to Exhale (25 page)

"No," Robin moaned.

"What do you mean, 4No'?" Gloria said.

"I don't even believe this."

"What?" Savannah asked.

Robin dropped her head.

"Which one is it?" Gloria said; she'd been through this before.

"Michael."

"So what's the big deal?" Savannah asked, looking toward the entrance. All she saw was a pudgy, light-skinned man with a nice- looking sister by his side. "That's Michael?"

"Yes, and who the hell is that standing next to him is what I wanna know." Robin's face was now pulsating. She couldn't believe this shit. "He's supposed to be so in love with me, and here it hasn't even been a whole week since I fired him and he's already out in public with another woman?"

"Take it easy," Savannah said.

"Don't do anything stupid," Gloria said. "You're the one who gave him the ax, so try to act civilized. Whatever you do, don't embarrass yourself, and especially us."

"I'm not Bernadine, so don't even think it. That little fat fuck."

Michael had to walk by their table in order to get into the room. When he saw Robin, he smiled and said hello. She didn't say anything. He said, "How are you?" to Gloria and Savannah, and kept on walking. Robin looked as if she was ready to detonate when Bernadine flopped down in the chair, sweating and out of breath. "Girl, did you see Michael?" she said.

"What do you think?" Robin said.

"I just asked. You get what you pay for," she said. "I'm having a good time. How about you guys? You haven't danced yet? The music is jumping. You guys should be dancing. Shit."

"We know that," Savannah said. "But we're waiting for somebody to ask us."

"Don't wait for your ship to come in. Swim out to it!"

None of them could believe this was Bernadine. When did she come out of that cocoon she'd been hiding in all these years? Bernadine had never been a real party girl, but she was turning the place out tonight. She sprang back up. "I need to freshen my makeup. I really needed this," she said, as she walked away. "I swear I did."

Robin sat there as if she was in a trance. Finally, somebody asked Savannah to dance. She didn't care what he looked like at this point, and when she got on the dance floor, she still didn't care. Everything about him was average: height, looks, weight. She didn't look at him until he asked her name, and when he asked her what she did for a living, she told him and, out of courtesy, asked him about his work. When he said he was a mortician, Savannah wanted to crack up. She immediately thought she smelled embalming fluid and was glad she didn't have to hold his hands. They danced through Bobby Brown's "Every Little Step," and that's when she saw Robin come out on the floor with a below-average type, and Bernadine was right behind her, holding Herbert's hand. Gloria, who would not walk through that door at all tonight (and really didn't care), was busy thinking about two things: the fact that she was missing Cagney &Lacey for this bullshit and whether or not Tarik would have his behind in the house by nine o'clock.

Michael was on the other side of the room, dancing with his date. Robin almost broke her neck trying to find him in the crowd, but sh
e w
as unsuccessful. After the song ended, the three women went back to their table and sat down. They ordered another drink and took their time drinking it. Every now and then, Gloria and Savannah watched Robin scoping the full room, looking for signs of Michael, who in fact had sat down at a table in the dance room. Although they were right in the center of things, no one acknowledged them. An occasional man walking by gave them a nod or a half-smile and kept walking. This was not fun.

"How long does this thing last?" Gloria asked.

"Why?" Bernadine asked. "Are you bored already?"

"You know it. And I'm going home."

"Me too," Robin said. "This is dead."

"It's only dead because you haven't met anybody and you got your feelings hurt tonight. Can't you be satisfied having a little fun and let it go at that? For once in your life. You don't always have to meet somebody, Robin."

"Shut up, Bernadine, would you? I've got a ton of paperwork waiting on my desk for me in the morning. I had no intention of staying out late anyway."

"It's not even nine o'clock. What about you, Savannah? Are you ready to leave too?"

"I'm with Robin."

"You guys are nothing but a bunch of deadbeats, I swear. Go on. Go. I'm not ready to leave yet. I came here to relax and have fun, and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

"Then do your thing," Robin said. "You ready, Savannah?"

"I'm ready," she said.

Robin didn't have to ask Gloria. She was already heading toward the door. When the three of them got there, the same man who had greeted them popped out from behind the partition. "Leaving so soon?"

"We have to get up early," Robin said.

"I heard that," he said. "Try to make it back on Friday. It's going to be even better. But we need sisters like you three here to make it that way."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Robin mumbled, as they walked out into the graveled parking lot. Gloria said good night, got in her car, and took off, leaving a cloud of dust.

"Is this how folks party here?" Savannah asked Robin when they were seated in the car.

"It could be worse," she said, and turned on the lights.

"You're kidding."

"I can't believe Michael, girl. I can't."

"Well, let it go," Savannah said. "Just let it go."

"That's what I thought I was doing, but you want to know what's weird?"

"What?"

"I'm jealous! I can't even believe this shit."

"I can. You always want what you can't have."

"But I had it!"

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, you never know how good something is until somebody else has it."

"Remember, you're the one who put him on hold, and all men don't have call waiting, honey."

"Obviously. Anyway, I don't want to talk about him. Did you check out Miss Ginger Rogers tonight?"

"You mean Bernie?"

"Who else? I've never seen her like this."

"Like what?"

"Didn't you see how she was flirting with that married man? He was the only person she danced with."

"So what? All she did was dance."

"I don't know," Robin sighed.

"Well, you know what they say."

"About what?"

"About getting divorced."

"Honey, I have no experience in that department, thank you very much," Robin said, and finally started the car up.

"Well, they say that some people grieve when they're going through it, and grief can manifest itself in a whole lot of different ways."

"You mean like flirting with somebody's else's husband and dancing it away?"

"Sort of. Bernadine's going through some heavy-duty changes. You know that."

"Yeah, I do," Robin said, and headed toward Tempe. "John was a three-hundred-sixty-degree asshole. A Virgo, honey. A perfectionist from the word go."

"So you didn't like him, either?"

"He was a selfish egomaniac, and she should've divorced him a long time ago."

"Well, I hope the whole thing is over soon."

"I know one thing: if a man of mine ever left me for a white girl, I'd blow him to kingdom come. Simple as that."

"I'd probably do something, but I don't know about killing anybody. Maybe cut his dick off-something he could remember," she said, laughing. "But seriously, Bernie's always been kind of passive. Right after they moved out here, she told me she was helping John get his computer business started and everything, and once it got going she was supposed to start her own catering business, and-"

"Where is her catering business, thank you very much?"

"I know."

"I just hope she gets her share out of this deal," Robin said. "Because he really screwed her. And Eddie Murphy wants to know why women want half."

They rode in silence for a few miles.

"You know what? I hate black men who run to white women," Robin said.

"I don't hate them," Savannah said. "But what kills me more than anything is they usually pick the homeliest ones they can find and the ones who don't have shit going for them."

"I hate the fact that they think white girls epitomize beauty and femininity."

"I hear you," Savannah said. "But you know what?"

"What?"

"It doesn't bother me all that much."

"And why not?"

"Because I think people have a right to love who they want to. Who am I to judge?"

"Yeah, but if our men keep running to white women, what does that leave us?"

"When you get right down to it, there really aren't that many who've crossed over. I think we just notice it more because we're black and female." "So?"

"So I don't hold it against them. If a black man wants a white woman, that's his business. I've got too many other things to worry about. Like I hope Phoenix isn't going to be a repeat of Denver."

"Why, was Denver boring too?"

"For a while it was all right, but there weren't very many interesting places to go, and I'm sort of past the bar and club scene, and plus, you never meet anybody when you go to these places. What happened tonight?"

"Nothing."

"That's my point."

"I met Russell at a club," Robin said.

"And look what it got you."

"Come to think of it, I've met quite a few men at clubs."

"Have you married any of them?"

"Shut up, girl."

"You know why I really stopped hanging out at clubs?"

"Why?"

"Because I hate it when men look at me like they know I'm there looking for a man."

"Why?"

"Because it's true. I'm also tired of going everywhere with women."

"Well, to hell with you too, Savannah."

"You know what I'm saying."

"Yeah," she said. "I know exactly what you're saying."

When Robin pulled up in front of Savannah's complex, she started laughing. "What's so funny?" Savannah asked her.

"Everything," she said.

"No, for real, what?"

"I don't know. I don't think I'll be satisfied until I get Russell, even though in my heart I know he's a dog. I just can't seem to get him out of my system. I'm probably living in a fantasy world or something. I like Michael, but I don't want him. Plus, I need t
o m ake more money, but I don't even know what my chances are of finding a better job in this town. You ever feel confused?"

"Of course. Everybody does, Robin. Hell, I'm wondering if I made the right move by coming here. I gave up a fifty-thousand- dollar-a-year job for a thirty-eight-thousand-dollar job-and that's before taxes. I don't know how I'm going to keep taking care of my mama if in the next six months I don't get a promotion or find another area to move into at this station."

"Where's your mama?"

"In Pittsburgh."

"Is that where you're from originally?"

"Yep."

"You got sisters and brothers?"

"One sister, two brothers."

"I don't have any," Robin said. "Why can't they help out?"

"It's a long story. They've got their own families, and money is tight everywhere."

"You don't have to tell me."

"Anyway, my mama is basically dependent on me. I got her a nice two-bedroom apartment and was thinking about buying her a little car, but I can forget about that for a while. I'm hoping to meet a nice man at the earliest possible convenience, but if tonight was any indication of what I'm in for, I'm in the same boat I was in in Denver."

"Yeah, well, it sounds like we have a few things in common, girlfriend."

"I wish we didn't have those things," Savannah said, and bent over and kissed Robin on the cheek. "See you later," she said. "And thanks for driving."

"Wait," Robin said. "Didn't you say you wanted to join a health club?"

"Yeah," Savannah said, holding the door handle.

"What about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow sounds good."

"Then why don't you meet me at Desert Fitness after work. About five-thirtyish. I'll call and tell them you're my guest. It's here in Tempe, and they're in the yellow pages. See you, girl. It's been a real blast."

When Savannah opened her front door, Yasmine was waiting. "Hi, baby," she said, and, dropping her purse on the floor, picked up the cat. "Mama had a dreadful time tonight. I think Phoenix is as dead as Denver. And speaking of dead, guess what, Yasmine? I met a mortician tonight. Yes, I did. And guess what else? We're giving Phoenix a year. If nothing exciting happens to us by next year this time, we're outta here." Yasmine looked at her as if she could care less, and licked Savannah on the face. "I mean that shit," she said, and went to wash off her makeup.