Wake (7 page)

Janie waits an eternity for her sight to clear. For the feeling to come back. She sits up, frantic. She reaches for him.

Cabel is leaning over, his head in his hands.

He is shaking.

He turns to her, his face enraged.

His voice is raspy. “What the fuck is wrong with you!?”

Janie doesn’t know what to say.

His silent anger shakes the seats.

10:05 a.m.

Cabel doesn’t speak until they arrive in Stratford. And then all he says is a harsh “good luck.” He gets off the bus and heads for his hotel room.

Janie watches him go.

She closes her eyes, then opens them again, and follows the cheerleaders in the other direction to their room.

Once inside, they don’t acknowledge one another.

Janie’s quite good with that.

2:00 p.m.

The students meet in the lobby. Camelot starts in thirty minutes. Janie boards the bus, exhausted, and sits in the back row again.

Cabel doesn’t show up.

2:33 p.m.

The play begins. Janie excuses herself from her orchestra seat and finds a spot in the nearempty balcony. She sleeps soundly up there for three hours, awaking in the closing scene. She slips back down to the orchestra seats and follows the others back to the bus. 6:01 p.m.

The bus stops at Pizza Hut. They have one hour to eat before going back to the evening play.

Janie grabs a Personal Pan to go, eats it on the bus, and sleeps. Sleeps right through the play, in her backseat spot. Nobody seems to notice she didn’t get off the bus. 11:33 p.m.

The bus arrives, most kids exhausted, back at the hotel. Janie falls into bed. She is numb, but not from anyone’s dream. Not this time. She thinks about Cabel. Cries silently in her pillow in the dark room. The heat register hums loudly. Savannah, the captain of the women’s soccer team, collapses on the covers next to her. They don’t speak. They hover at the edges of their bed.

October 15, 2005, 1:04 a.m.–6:48 a.m.

Janie jumps from one dream to another.

Savannah dreams about making the U.S. women’s soccer team, and meeting the legendary Mia Hamm, even though she’s retired. Big surprise—this dream could totally be an episode of Hannah Montana. Just when Janie wonders if Savannah has even the slightest bit of depth to her, Savannah’s dream turns to Kyle, who sat in front of Janie on the bus. Interesting combo, there. Janie’s intrigued.

Until the switch to Melinda.

Melinda, no surprise, has a three-way sex party going on with Shay Wilder, who is in bed next to her, and with Carrie. The sex is normal at first, then unbelievably tacky, in Janie’s opinion. The bodies of Carrie and Shay are, to use a crass phrase, blown out of proportion. Janie manages for the first time in someone else’s dream to turn away. Janie counts it as a major victory.

And then there’s Shay.

Shay dreams about Cabel Strumheller.

A lot.

And in a lot of different ways.

By morning, Janie hates Shay with all her heart. And she has very dark circles under her eyes.

8:08 a.m.

Shay, Melinda, and Savannah head down to breakfast. The matinee is at 10:00.

“See you on the bus,” Janie says, even though she is starving. The other girls don’t bother to answer. Janie rolls her eyes.

She takes a shower, wraps a towel around her head, and falls back into the bed. She sets the alarm for noon. The bus will be back for the luggage, and the students who didn’t elect to take in a third play, at 1 p.m.

8:34 a.m.

Janie dreams for the second time in her life. She dreams that she is alone, drowning in a dark lake, and Cabel is on the shore with a rope, but he won’t throw it to her. She waves frantically to him, and he can’t see her. She slips under the water slowly. Under the water, she sees others like her. Babies, children, teens, adults. All of them floating just under the surface of the water, no one able to help.

It’s because they’re all dead.

Their eyes bulge.

She is screaming when the alarm goes off. Her towel has fallen off her head, and her hair is in tangles. She can’t see beyond it.

There is an urgent knock on the door.

And it’s him.

He’s holding a bag of food.

Looking mournful.

He pushes past her into the room, closes the door and locks it, takes her hand, and holds her. He is pleading. “I don’t understand,” he says. “I just don’t understand. Why did you do that to me?” He’s broken.

And so is she. “I can explain,” Janie says. And she buries her face in his shirt and cries.

“Just get me home.”

They fall on the bed, and they just hold each other quietly. That’s all they do.

And then, it’s time to go home.

2:00 p.m.

Janie and Cabel are in the back seats again. Carrie and Melinda sit in front of them. Across the aisle, Savannah and Kyle are making out. Janie reminds herself to start taking bets on these things.

In front of Savannah and Kyle is Shay, or at least her baggage. Shay appears to be furiously ignoring Janie. She tries to strike up a conversation with Cabel by sitting on the aisle floor, next to him. Cabel is cool and mildly disinterested.

This makes Shay try harder.

Carrie and Melinda turn around in their seats to chat. Cabel makes small talk and jokes, while Janie looks out the window. He slips his hand into hers. The other girls notice.

Carrie winks.

Melinda looks at Carrie with burning eyes.

Shay shifts in the aisle and leans against Cabel’s leg, batting her eyelashes madly. Frighteningly.

At the front of the bus, kids are roaming around and laughing, singing, chattering. Awake and buzzing. Janie slips into a grateful coma, her head propped against the window. 7:31 p.m.

They are back at Fieldridge High School. Cabel shakes Janie awake, gently. She sits up, wondering where she is. Cabel grins at her. “You made it,” he whispers. He gathers their bags and follows her off the bus. He walks with her to Carrie’s car.

“Come on, Cabel,” Carrie says. “Let me give you a ride, at least. Unless you want Shay to

—hey, here she comes now.” Carrie titters, her eyes dancing. Cabel’s eyes grow wide. He slips into the backseat of Carrie’s car without a word. “Get me outa here. Fuckin’ creepy cheerleaders.”

Carrie laughs. She pulls out of the parking lot and eases onto the road ahead of the pack, and turns to Cabel. “So where do you live?”

“Waverly. Two blocks straight east of your house. But I’ll walk from Janie’s, if you don’t mind. Janie has a superstition about my street.”

“What the hell?” Carrie snorts.

Janie laughs. “Nothing! Shut up, Cabe.”

Carrie pulls into her driveway. It’s cool outside. Crisp. The harvest moon shines orange on Ethel’s roof in the Hannagan driveway. Carrie grabs her things and yawns. “I’m turning in. Catch you guys later.” She clops to her front door and lets herself in, waving as she closes the screen door.

Janie takes her bag and waves to Carrie. She looks at Cabel. It feels awkward, now that they are in Janie’s front yard. They walk to her door. “Can you come in for a bit?” Janie asks, trying not to sound anxious.

“Sure,” he says, his voice relieved. “I, uh, figure we have some things to talk about. Are the

’rents home?”

“My mother’s probably passed out in her bedroom. That’s it, just me and her.”

“Cool,” he says, but he gives her an understanding look.

They go inside. There is no sign of Janie’s mother, except for an empty fifth of vodka on the kitchen counter and a sink full of dishes. Janie throws the bottle in the trash. “Sorry about the mess,” she says in a low voice. She is embarrassed. The house was spotless when she left it yesterday morning.

“Forget about it. We can clean it up later, if you want.”

Janie waves her hand at the living room. “Well. This is it,” she says.

“You sleep out here, huh?” He isn’t teasing.

“No, I have a bedroom. Come.” She shows him. It’s sparse and neat.

“Nice,” he says. He glances at the bed, and then abruptly turns around and they walk back to the living room.

“Hungry?”

“My stomach’s growling,” he says.

“Let me see if we have anything.” Janie searches the kitchen cupboards and refrigerator and comes up empty-handed. “Good grief,” she says finally. “I’m sorry.” She turns around.

“We got nothin’.”

He’s been watching her, she realizes.

“Maybe we could get a pizza.”

“Sounds good.”

“You want to go out?”

Janie sighs and scratches her head. “Not really.”

“Good. Let’s order delivery.”

Janie finds the number for Fred’s Pizza and Grinders and orders. “Thirty minutes.”

Cabel tosses a twenty-dollar bill on the coffee table and sits down.

“Cabe.”

“Yes.”

“What is that?”

“It’s twenty dollars, Hannagan.”

Janie sighs. “Let’s be truthful with each other here, mmmkay?”

“Of course. Our whole relationship is based on it. Right?” He’s smiling sardonically, and looks down.

She cringes as the words hang ominously in the room. “Look, I’m sorry,” she begins. “I have a lot of explaining to do. But I know you don’t have any more money to spare than I do. So how about I pay for this?”

“No. Next question.”

Janie sits down next to him. Shakes her head. “Fine,” she says, giving up. She draws her legs up under her and turns to face him.

“Okay,” she continues. “How did you get in the dream twice?”

He looks away, and then back to Janie.

“Well, let’s just jump right into it, then.”

“I guess.”

“All right…uh…I guess the answer is, I have No. Fucking. Clue. Oh, and just let me know when it’s my turn to ask a few questions. Because I’d like to know how the hell you. Got into. My dream. Hello.”

Janie blushes. “Some of your dreams are kind of great.”

“Oh, really.” Cabel leans forward and catches her chin. Catches her by surprise. He pulls her toward him and traces her cheekbone with his thumb. And then, he puts his lips on hers.

Janie falls into the kiss. She closes her eyes and slips her hand to his shoulder. They explore the kiss for a moment, sweetly. Cabel digs his fingers into her hair and he pulls her closer. But before it grows any stronger, Janie pulls away. She feels like her limbs are rubber.

“Shit,” she sputters. “You…you…”

He smiles lazily, his lips still wet. “Yes?”

“You kiss better than I imagined. Even in—”

He blinks. “No,” he says. “No, no, no. Don’t even tell me you’ve been there.”

She bites her lip. “Well, maybe if you stopped sleeping during study hall, I wouldn’t have a clue.”

“Good God!” he says. “Is nothing sacred? Sheesh.” He turns away, embarrassed. “Maybe you should start from the beginning.”

Janie sighs and leans back against the couch. It was like reliving the dreams. Again.

“The short version? I get sucked into people’s dreams. I can’t help it. I can’t stop it. It’s driving me crazy.”

He gives her a long look. “Okay, um, how? That’s just bizarre.”

“I don’t know.”

“Is this a recent thing?”

“No. The first one I remember, I was eight.”

“So, in that dream, my dream, where I’m standing behind you, watching myself…in…” He holds his head.

“Okay, so that’s how you see the dreams, right? Like I saw mine. While I was dreaming it. Ughh.” He rubs his temples.

“That was weird, huh,” Janie says softly. “I know this is all really weird. I’m sorry.”

There’s a knock at the door. Janie jumps up, relieved. She grabs the twenty and goes to answer it.

She sets the pizza and a two-liter of Pepsi on the coffee table and goes to the kitchen for a beer, glasses, napkins, and paper plates. She pours the Pepsi for Cabel and clips open the beer. She takes a sip as Cabel grabs some pizza.

“Now. Tell me what else you’ve seen in my dreams, before I get really paranoid.”

“Okay,” she says, suddenly feeling a bit shy. She takes another sip and begins. “We’re behind that shed or barn of some sort. Is that your backyard?”

He nods, chewing.

“Up until yesterday, I’ve seen you as the monster-man-thing”—she cringes, not sure what to name it—“that monster in the house—the kitchen. With the chair. That one was purely coincidental—I didn’t even know it was you, dreaming it. Not until later. It was sort of a drive-by thing.”

He closes his eyes, cringes, and sets his pizza down on the plate.

“That was you,” he says slowly. “I knew I’d seen your car before. I thought you were…

someone else.” He pauses, lost in thought. “The yard—oh, God—your so-called superstition. Damn. So—” He sits up, hands paused in midair, eyes closed. Thinking. Processing.

And then he turns and stares at her. “You could have totally crashed.”

“I didn’t think anybody saw me.”

“The headlights—your headlights. That’s what woke me up. They were shining in my window…. Jesus Christ, Janie.”

“Your bedroom window must have been open. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have happened. I think. I had no idea it was your house.”

He sits back, shaking his head slightly as he puts the pieces together. “Okay,” he says. “Get to the good part before I completely lose my appetite.”

“Behind the shed. You walk up to me. Touch my face. Kiss me. I kiss you back.”

He’s silent.

“That’s it,” she says.

He regards her carefully. “That’s it?”

“Yes. I swear. I mean, it was a good kiss, though.”

He nods, lost in thought. “Damn bell always rings then, doesn’t it.”

She smiles. “Yeah.” She pauses, wondering if she should mention the part where he asks her to help him, but he’s on to the next thing.

“So when I found you on the desk in the library a few weeks ago, and it took you a while to sit up…what was that? You weren’t asleep, were you.”

“No.”

“That was a bad one?”

“Yeah. Real bad.”

He puts his head in his hands and takes off his glasses. He rubs his eyes. “Jesus,” he says.

“I remember that one.” He keeps his head down, and Janie waits. “So that’s why you said…when I asked you if you had a bad dream,” he murmurs.

“I…I wanted to know if you knew I was there, watching. Even when people talk to me in their dreams, no one seems to remember that part. No one ever mentions it, anyway.”