Waking the Bear (Shifter Wars) (19 page)

Was this penance?

It surely felt like it.

He came to the stream and dragged the lion through it and up the embankment on the other side. Running wasn’t possible and darkness fell over the forest. Though he could see better in bear form, the rain and now fog made visibility really low and Griff slowed his pace. He stopped to rest for a moment, panting and wishing he’d never agreed to bring Evers to the cave. No, he had to do it. For Amy, for his future cubs, for Elijah. Most of all, for himself.

He moved again, over downed trees and through the deep glades on the way to the cave. He remembered the day he’d found Evers’s parents, and how he’d scented on them immediately. He’d known they were lions, but he hadn’t cared. He tried to help them. No prejudice in him then—why had that all changed? Evers had lived his whole life angry because of something that wasn’t true. Griff had acted on something stemming from the same thing.

The murder wasn’t self-defense.

He was pissed, plain and simple. He could’ve kept Amy safe from Evers if he’d tried. The fact was, he wanted Evers dead at that moment, and that kind of anger was unacceptable. How could he even face his mate with blood on his hands? Tears streamed down his bear cheeks. He couldn’t keep her safe and he couldn’t control his anger. Maybe he wasn’t even worthy of having a mate.

* * *

By the time he got to the cave, every muscle in his body ached. Barely a thought formed besides “get Evers to the lake.” He’d never been so tired. Bone-deep, soul-deep, exhausted.

His feet didn’t register walking through the first two rooms of the cave or dragging Evers to the shore of the lake. With no lantern, even his bear eyes could only see a shadow of the water. Still and dark, it spread before him in what appeared to be an endless pool of black.

What was he supposed to do next? He’d brought Evers. Where was Shoshannah?

He dropped the lion and drank from the lake, letting the water wash over his mouth and cleanse the bad taste away. He drank, gulped at the lake. When he’d had his fill, and Shoshannah didn’t appear, he sat on his haunches to wait. Surely she’d come tell him what to do next. He waited, the silence deafening in his ears.

Hadn’t she said something about taking Evers into the lake? He tried to remember.

“You must bring his body to the lake.” The whisper came from nowhere and everywhere at once, inside him and outside.

He rose up and tugged Evers into the water and paddled into the lake with him, letting the warm, healing water release the tension from his muscles.

The water began bubbling around the lion and Griff backed away. A dim green light lit below the water and swirled like a mini maelstrom, the lion’s body moving along with it. Griff paddled farther from the light and bubbling water.

A column of water shot into the air, green at first, then pure white. Evers’s body disappeared and in its place, a wispy creature in the shape of a lion, made purely of smoke. The creature dashed through the air, jumping and spinning as if it had been released from captivity.

Griff stared, his mouth wide. Would the apparition attack him now?

Suddenly, a larger lion padded out into the air. Somehow, Griff knew it was Evers’s father. He’d been buried in the Cave of Whispers after he couldn’t be revived. Then, a lioness, small-boned and icy, appeared. Evers’s mother. She, too, had been buried in the catacombs. Father and mother nuzzled Evers and Griff felt love and peace throughout the cavern.

All was right again. Better than before. Evers, as dark as his heart was, had also been cleansed and he’d moved on to the beyond.

The smoke lions froze over the lake, and then shattered into a million crystals of white that dissipated almost immediately.

Once again, the cave was silent.

Evers was at peace.

Griff had done his duty.

Feeling rested and rejuvenated, Griff swam to shore. Whatever he was supposed to have done, he must have done it. Shoshannah was right; he did feel better now. He held no ill will against Evers anymore, and it was like a huge weight had been taken from his back.

He climbed out of the lake and shook the water from his fur. He’d no longer carry a darkness in his heart. He’d washed it away.

Now, he needed to go find his mate and convince her to stay with him.

Chapter Nineteen

“I’m not staying.” Amy stomped onto the cabin porch and fumbled to unlock the door with the key she kept hidden in the window box. “This place, these mountains, are messed up. Wild animals and even wilder people. Craziness.”

“Please,” Derek said. “You need to give Griff a chance to explain things. It will all make sense once he does.”

Powell walked up beside her. “I promise, it will. We haven’t lied to you, have we?”

“We helped you get home.” Derek flanked her other side. “Please, wait on Griff to get here before you do anything rash.”

Amy closed her eyes. How much more crazy could she take in one day? Evers had tried to hurt her—and Griff had taken her into a lake. She didn’t remember anything in between. Either she was losing her mind, or these people were drugging her, or...something.

“Rash, like killing someone?” She rolled her eyes at Powell. “Or turning myself into a monkey or something?” She glanced at Derek. “What exactly do you expect me to do?”

She began to cry. Her head was pounding. Griff had killed a man. He’d admitted it. And in pretty much the same conversation, he’d told her he loved her. What kind of crazy was that?

“Everything will be okay.” Powell put his hand on her shoulder and she tensed. “You need to hear Griff out. Please.”

She wiped her tears away and shivered. Her clothes, still damp from being in the lake, were sticking to her in all the wrong places, and the blanket Powell had given her barely kept her warm. She wasn’t going to let them see her cry. “Why? He killed someone. That isn’t okay.”

Derek spoke softly. “No, it isn’t. But sometimes, there are reasons. Please, let us stay with you until Griff gets here. Then, let him explain. After that, if you want to go, I’m sure he will let you.”

“Let me?” Amy turned the knob and pushed into the cabin. “I don’t need him to let me do anything. I’ll do what I want.”

“Bad choice of words,” Derek called from the porch. “May we come in?”

Amy thought about it. These men hadn’t done anything wrong. They’d helped her find her way home. They’d been nice to her and maybe they’d answer some of her questions about seeing Evers turn into a lion.

Which wasn’t possible. Had she hit her head? Not that she remembered.

“Fine. Come in.” She left the door open and headed on in to the little cabin, flipping on the lamps and lights as she went. She dumped the blanket on the floor. “I’m not sure I’ll be waiting to talk to Griff.”

“He really cares about you.” Derek sat down on the couch.

Powell closed the door. “He does. He’s told us.”

“Yeah, so he says.”

He said he loved me. How can that be, after only knowing me a short time?

She went into the kitchen to wash her hands. The day had been so messed up. She didn’t see any way to recover from it.

Griff Martin was a confusing man. Yes, she was attracted to him. Yes, she had even grown to care about him in the short time she’d known him. But love? She wasn’t sure about that.

How could she have a relationship with a murderer? Why weren’t Powell and Derek calling the police? Why wasn’t she? She soaped up her hands and let the sink faucet run over them. Maybe she should talk to Griff one more time. Then pack her stuff and get out.

She obviously didn’t belong in the mountains.

She dried her hands on the towel and set it on the counter. What she’d really like was a long hot bath and some time to think. She pushed her hair behind her ears.

How long would it take Griff to get to the cabin? It couldn’t take much longer than it took her—he knew the way. Maybe he’d gone by his house first. She looked down at her damp clothes. If she didn’t change, she was bound to get sick.

She headed into the living room. “I’m going to change clothes.” She passed right by Derek and Powell. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“We’ll be right here.” Derek leaned back on the couch.

“Mind if I make some coffee?” Powell asked.

“Help yourself.” Amy continued down the hall and into her bedroom. She closed the bedroom door and leaned against it.

How had things gone so badly so quickly? Just last night, she’d been in Griff’s arms, making love and talking about their lives. She even thought they might have a bit of a future together, if only for a couple months.

Hot tears filled her eyes again and she wiped at them. She hated when tears fell, but she couldn’t help it. At least she was alone this time. She locked the door and kicked off her muddy shoes. She hadn’t even noticed how muddy they were. The floors were probably filthy. She stripped off her socks, then her jeans and the rest of her clothes.

Too bad she didn’t have time to take a shower. She didn’t even want to look in the mirror to see what a mess her hair must be after being out in the rain and then in the lake. She pulled on clean clothes, with warm socks and sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt.

“I should at least wash my face,” she whispered.

She slipped out of her bedroom and into the bathroom. She pulled out a washcloth and turned on the sink faucet. She blinked at her reflection in the mirror. Where was the woman who worked at ADvert, handling dozens of accounts at once and bringing in multi-million-dollar deals to the agency at least twice a year? The face that stared back at her in the mirror looked nothing like the put-together woman that had arrived at the cabin, not that long ago.

She laughed. The irony. When she’d arrived, she thought she was worn down and needing a break. She thought the cabin was going to save her. Rejuvenate her. Yet, somehow, things had gotten worse. More complicated than ever. Instead of one man to worry about, she now had two. Darren was barely out of her life and now Griff took up a large part of it. She ran the washcloth under the warm water then wrung it out.

She washed her face, holding the cloth against her eyes. The heat and steam felt so amazing as it penetrated her skin. She turned off the water and dropped the cloth into the hamper. She’d face Griff and find out what the hell was going on. She deserved that.

One way or another, she’d get to the bottom of what was going on.

She headed back into the living room, more determined than before. She could handle Griff.

“Did you paint this?” Derek held up a landscape she’d mostly finished. “It’s pretty nice. Love the trees. Oaks, mostly.”

“Yeah, I started that last week. It’s not finished.” Amy took the painting from him and set it back on the easel. “Wish I had more time to paint.”

“I know exactly where that view is.” Powell sipped on a cup of coffee. “You captured it perfectly. Even the light hitting the rocks is exactly the way it is at mid-morning. You’re really talented.”

The sting of a blush crept up her cheeks and she turned away. “Thanks. It’s really just a pre-painting. So I could get a feel for what the final painting would be.”

“I hope you’ll decide to stay.” Derek walked to look out the window into the darkness. “Once you talk to Griff.”

“Not likely.” Amy crossed her arms. “There’s something you can help me with, though.”

“Anything.” Derek turned toward her, stroking his beard, his eyes alight with amusement. “What do you need?”

She walked closer. “I want the truth.”

“Of course.”

“We always tell the truth,” Powell said.

“Explain to me how Evers turned into a mountain lion. While you’re at it, tell me why every time I see a mountain lion, there are bears nearby.”

Derek and Powell looked at each other. Amy could have sworn that Derek’s face drained of color.

“Well?” She tapped her foot. “He did change, didn’t he? How is that possible?”

“I... I...” Derek stuttered.

“I think you need to talk to Griff about that, Amy.” Powell’s voice wavered and he didn’t meet her gaze.

A knock sounded at the door.

“There he is.” Derek rushed to the door.

“Thank the gods he made it.” Powell joined Derek.

“Perfect timing.” Derek grabbed the doorknob.

Amy turned in time to see Derek open the door. Griff stood on the porch, his broad shoulders filling out a red shirt, tucked into deep blue jeans. He was more than handsome. He had saved her. Now it was time to listen to what he had to say.

“We’ll see you, Amy.” Powell was out the door in a flash. He stuck his head back in. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“Yeah,” Derek said. “We’ll let you and Griff have your talk in private. See you soon.”

He disappeared out the door. Griff remained on the porch. “May I come in, Amy? We need to talk.”

Amy’s mouth went dry and her palms slicked with sweat. She cleared her throat. “Yes. We do need to talk.”

Chapter Twenty

Griff turned to Powell and Derek. “Thank you for helping her get back, and for watching over her until I got here.”

“Of course,” Derek said. “We’ll go to Elijah and tell him what happened.”

“Thank you.” Griff looked down. “Tell him also that I have done what Shoshannah asked of me, and that Evers is at peace now. I’ll call him later. Right now, I have to take care of Amy.”

“Will do.” Powell headed down the porch steps.

Derek nodded then followed Powell off the porch and out into the yard.

Griff turned back to the doorway. He entered the cabin and closed the door behind him. His home, now home to his mate. Only he and his mate were not together. This was not going to be easy. He’d tell the truth and see what happened. That was all he could do.

“Thank you for letting me explain.” He tried to take Amy in his arms but she backed away. He gulped. If he lost her, he’d have nothing to live for. Now that he had a taste of having a mate, he knew he needed her in his life.

She crossed her arms. “I want answers.”

“Yes.” He sighed. “You deserve them.”

“Is Evers really dead? Did you kill him?” Her voice quavered.

“Yes.” Griff looked away. “Unfortunately, he is.” How was she going to take this news? The first time, she didn’t take it well at all. Why did he think it would be any different now?

“What happened?”

Griff paced. “He tried to kill you. He dragged you off into the forest, do you remember that much?” He glanced up at her.

“Yes. We were trying to get away from the rockslide.” She paused, and wiped at a lone tear. “I don’t remember... Oh my god... He threatened to rape me.”

Griff fisted his hands, wanted to reach out and wipe her tears but realizing she needed her space right now. “Yes. And he would have, too, if we hadn’t found him in time. He had beaten you pretty badly and you were lying in the grass...”

She scowled and held her head in her hands. “He hit me.” She looked at Griff. “In the face.” More tears fell. “It was awful.”

Griff nodded, trying to bite back the anger that was trying to return. “You were seriously hurt. Internal injuries. Broken nose. When we first found you, we thought you were dead. You were lying in the wet grass in the meadow.”

“I don’t remember any of this. When who found me?” She wiped at the tears with her shirtsleeve. “I don’t remember any of this. I’m losing my mind. Evers is dead. How do I know you are telling me the truth now?”

“Amy.” Griff used his firm and hopefully truthful-sounding voice without raising the volume. “Let’s go through this together. You aren’t losing your mind. Today has been an awful day, but we survived.”

“Why can’t I remember it all?”

“You were out. From pain or injury, I don’t know.” Griff scratched his head and continued pacing. “As for who, it was me, Derek and Powell. Didn’t they tell you they were there? A few other rangers were there, too.”

“They wanted me to wait for you to tell me what happened. So all of them saw you kill Evers?”

Griff shook his head. “I found him first.” The circles under her eyes and the mud in her hair reminded him of just how close he’d come to losing her. If only she’d let him hold her. He could take away some of the stress and pain she was feeling.

“What else do you want to know?” He had to take care of her.

“What happened next? I want to know everything up till the moment in the lake.” She rubbed her nose.

“Can we sit down?” Griff pointed to the couch.

“Yeah. Wanna cup of coffee? Already have some brewed.”

“That would be great. I’m exhausted.” Griff sighed. “I’ll help.”

She poured the coffee in silence. Griff peeked at Amy while he stirred his sugar into his cup. His mate. The urge to take her in his arms overwhelmed him. She’d already rebuffed him. What if he’d screwed up everything? He set the spoon on the counter and reached for her hand.

She let his hand rest on hers for a moment and he savored the warmth. It gave him the strength he needed to continue. Then she pulled away. “Let’s go talk. I need answers, Griff. Today was messed up and I don’t know how I’m going to get past this.”

“It was. I’m sorry. I screwed up. Let’s go in the living room.”

Well, it was a start. She hadn’t pulled away immediately. That was promising, right? He needed to be patient. He knew she was strong but the events of the day were enough to rattle the strongest.

Hell, he was an emotional wreck.

They sat on the couch facing each other, Amy sipping her coffee. Griff looked around the little cabin, remembering the day he’d first met her. He’d thought it a bad idea to rent to her. He also remembered Charlotte running through the kitchen, her high-pitched squeals of laughter echoing through the small place.

Amy set her cup on the coffee table. “Well? Let’s hear it.” She sat up on the edge of the seat, like she was perched for a quick getaway. “What happened next?”

What he wouldn’t give to shampoo the mud from her hair, then brush it till it dried. As much as he’d thought he didn’t want a mate, he realized what he really didn’t want was to lose his mate. Like he’d lost his parents and sister.

Loss was what he was afraid of. Right now, he had to fight for what he wanted.

“We followed Evers as he took you into the forest. We had to go around the rockslide, so it took us a little longer to get into the deep woods. By the time I found you, you were injured and passed out. Evers saw me and immediately attacked.”

“And you fought back?”

“Of course. It was a hard fight. I was angry. He had hurt you, and he’s wanted revenge against me since his parents died. He said cruel things, and I... I just lost it.”

She leaned forward. “What do you mean?”

“I was so angry, I lost control. I fought hard. Harder than I’ve ever fought—I was so mad. I kept on fighting until he was dead.” Griff looked away. “I know it was wrong. At that moment, it was a lifetime of anger rolled into one moment, and topped with his violence toward you. I couldn’t take it. I snapped.”

“Oh, Griff, that’s horrible.” Amy put her hand over her mouth. “Did Powell and Derek try to stop you?”

“No, they showed up just after the fight. At that moment, our main concern was getting you help. I also had wounds. So at the time, we didn’t think about the repercussions of what had happened. I was afraid you were dying.”

“So you took me to a lake.” Amy smirked. “I don’t mean to be snarky, but I don’t think I had internal injuries. Otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here drinking coffee.”

Griff inhaled. “There’s a lot more going on than you know.” He took a sip of his coffee. “I’m not really sure where to start.”

“The beginning?”

“Yeah. It’s a long story. Can I ask you to trust me?”

“What do you mean? Trust you about what? I wouldn’t even let you in here if I didn’t trust you somewhat.”

“I know. This is different.” Griff looked around the little cabin. Maybe someday this would be theirs, but tonight, he needed to talk to his mate in a more neutral space. Not one that reminded him of Evers or his own family. “Come with me to my cabin. I’ll fix us dinner. You can take a bath while I’m cooking, if you want. This is going to be a long conversation and I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

“So...trust you not to poison me?” Amy smiled.

Griff could tell she was nervous. Who could blame her? He was nervous, too. He was going to have to tell her about being a bear and that was going to make a difference in whether or not she accepted him.

“No, silly. Trust me by giving me some time to explain everything. I promise I’ll tell you everything. The truth. All of it. I just need a bit of time to figure out where to begin and how to tell you the whole thing without it sounding like crazyland. After last night, surely you know I would never hurt you.”

She nodded.

He touched her chin and lifted it so that he looked right into her eyes. “We’re good together, Amy Francis. I’ve known since the day I met you that we’re meant to be together and last night...well, that just confirmed everything. Please, let’s go back to my place and I’ll fix you dinner and tell you everything. I have something to show you, too.”

Amy moved his hand from her face but continued to watch him. “I want to believe you. With all my heart, I want to. I do think we might have something special, but you’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”

“I know.”

“Let me get a change of clothes. I’ll take you up on that offer of using your bathtub. And dinner, too. I expect you to tell me everything, or I’m packing my stuff and heading to Atlanta. Tonight.”

“I understand. Thank you.”

“Let me get my stuff. Wait here.”

Griff watched her walk toward the bedroom. He was going to get his chance to explain. He had to make it count. How was he going to explain shifters and cave spirits and magic healing waters to someone who had never heard of any of it? She might think he was insane. He’d have to do his best.

He’d have to show her his bear.

That thought scared him. What if she thought he was scary? Or ugly? What if she couldn’t love a shifter? Doubt flooded his mind and the urge to flee gripped him.

Then, in his subconscious, he heard Elijah’s voice.
Grandchildren.
He’d heard about his grandchildren in the Cave of Whispers. Maybe things would turn out okay, or maybe Shoshannah was playing a cruel trick on them both.

Amy came out of the bedroom with a small gym bag. “Let’s go.” She pulled the bag up on her shoulder. “The more I think about a bath, the more I like the idea. Wash off that lake water. Then, I’ll be ready to talk.”

Griff stood and motioned to the door. “After you.”