Walk a Straight Line (18 page)

In a hurry last night, Keith had left his cell phone in its charger. Michael must have been blowing up his phone. He glanced at the clock. It was a little past seven a.m.

He had done well on his word and had made love to Gina throughout the night. He'd left her satiated and asleep. Michael had been the sole reason he'd torn himself from the comfort of her arms.

What was he going to tell his brother? Now that the light of day was setting in, Keith was experiencing second thoughts. He felt guilt that bore down on his shoulders.

He'd never done anything like this before in his life. But he had done it. He had betrayed his very own flesh and blood.

Michael would be beyond hurt, of that there was no doubt. Eventually, his brother might find it in his heart to forgive him, but Keith didn't know if he'd be able to forgive himself.

He looked at the picture he had on the mantle of both he and his brother. He studied the picture intensely. Michael had such a look of absolute love and trust on his face, and he had destroyed that.

Keith bent his head. He reached into his back pocket and took out a picture of Gina that he'd swiped earlier from her coffee table. They had shared an unforgettable night. He looked back and forth between both pictures, indecisive and unsure. “What do I do?”

He loved Gina, of that there was no doubt. She was like water to him. He just had to have her. But what was the price he had to pay?

He felt an urgent need to call his brother. Just to hear his voice. He called Michael's cell phone. It was ringing. Someone answered his telephone.

There was so much chaos on the other end that it took a few minutes for Keith to decipher what was being said. He finally made out that the other person on the end was saying something about a bad accident . . . “A man was driving . . . he crashed into a stop sign . . . was now unconscious . . . Long Island Jewish . . .”

Keith put the pieces together in his mind.
Oh my God! Michael!

He speed dialed Gina and told her what happened. He then called his mother in Atlanta. She would be on the next flight.

It took a half hour to get from his house to the emergency room at Long Island Jewish. Frantic with worry, he cursed himself with every filthy name that he could think of. If his brother died, he knew that he would never be able to live with himself. He prayed and begged God to spare Michael's life.

 

 

When Geraldine “Gerry” Ward entered Michael's hospital room, Keith's arms were wrapped around Gina.

“Keith!”

Keith tensed, recognizing the voice. He broke contact with Gina.
“Mom!”
Then in two swift strides, he ran over to his mother and picked her up and swung her in a huge embrace. She released all her fright with two great sobs before regaining her composure.

Gina retrieved some tissues for Keith's mother, handed them to her, and went over to the window to give them a moment together.

“How is he?” Geraldine asked with a shaky voice.

“He's better than he looks,” Keith said. “At least that's what the doctor told us. But come meet Gina.”

Keith led his mother over to Gina and performed the necessary introductions. His mother took stock of the other woman.

“I wish that when we had finally met, it would have been under better circumstances,” Gerry entreated, putting her hand out.

“Me too,” Gina responded tearfully.

Gerry turned toward Michael and cried, “He looks horrible. His face is so puffy that I barely recognize him.”

“I know, Mom. Michael's been unconscious since they brought him in and has remained in that state. It's been five hours. The doctors said that he had suffered a tremendous blow to his head because he had not been wearing a seat belt.”

Michael was always a safe driver but must have been too consumed with losing Gina to think straight.

Keith left his mother's side and went to stand by the window. Guilt whipped him. He didn't think he could continue living if his brother died. It would be his fault. He'd let his feelings for Gina block out all rational thought and behavior, and he was about to pay a huge price.

He saw Gina left the room and excused himself to join her. His long legs moved with speed to catch up to her. He hugged her tightly, knowing that she was the only other person who could truly understand the torturous emotions raging through his body.

Gina and Keith consoled each other and went into an empty room away from prying eyes and ears. They sat on the bed. Memories assailed them at the same time. Keith stifled a curse word and moved away to lean against the wall, burying his head in his hands.

“I . . .” Gina began. Keith turned to look at her. She stopped and closed her eyes. Then she continued, as tears streamed down her face, “I feel so . . . so . . . On my way here, I couldn't help it. I had to pull over to the side of the road to vomit.”

In two strides, Keith was in front of her. He fell to the floor and placed his head in Gina's lap. He felt her place one of her hands on his head and another stroked his cheek in comfort. “I can't lose him,” he wailed. He released his pain and soaked Gina's denim skirt with his tears.

“I know,” Gina soothed. “Keith, listen to me.” She gently lifted his head and made him look at her. Again, she closed her eyes. Keith knew it was because she couldn't look at his guilt-ridden face and bleak eyes, for they reflected the emotions she faced. “It never happened,” she whispered. “Do you hear me?”

He shook his head, not understanding. “What are you saying?”

“It never happened,” Gina's eyes popped open and pinned him with their intensity. She frantically commanded, “Say it.”

Keith looked at the woman that he loved. How could he begin to deny what he felt for her in his heart? “I love you,” he said.

“I know you do,” Gina replied. She grabbed his face in her hands to capture his attention. “But look what happened. Look what happened. Ugh!” Abruptly, she released him.

He knew that Gina was right. Michael was possibly on his deathbed. It wasn't the time for selfishness. It was time for sacrifice. He hung his head in defeat. Then Keith rose to his knees and cradled Gina's face in his hands. “How can you ask me to do this?” he whispered. “How can you ask me to deny what's in my very core?” He sobbed, but didn't wait for an answer. Instead, he kissed her with passion, telling her good-bye.

Their tears flowed, but this time it was for the love that they knew that they could never have. Not now. A life hung in the balance.

Keith gathered the courage to pull away. His heart ached as if it were being ripped out of his chest. But he knew that it was for the best. He was audacious to even kiss her at a time like this.

Michael needed Gina. She would pull him back to consciousness. He was sure of it. “It never happened,” Keith repeated her words, letting her know that he would go along with her demand. Heart-wrenching pain inflicted his very soul.

Gina nodded and stood. She brushed at her skirt and pulled at her white blouse to smooth out the wrinkles. Without another word, she exited into the hall. This time, Keith let her go.

He remained where he was until his mother found him. He felt broken and bruised and sore. He'd just fought the battle of his life, and he'd lost. “Keith, what is it?” she asked. Holding his raw emotions at bay, he snatched his mother and cradled himself in her arms. For a brief moment, he savored the comfort only a mother could give before releasing her to give her a shaky smile.

“There's more going on here, isn't there? I see distress written all over your face. Michael will be all right,” Gerry soothed. “God's not ready for him yet.” She looked around. “Where did Gina go? I thought she was with you.”

He knew that she had seen the two of them embracing when she first entered the room. His mother had put two and two together. Keith looked at his mother with a wide stare. He knew that she knew, but she didn't mention it. Thank God she had obviously decided to take pity on him and let things rest.

It never happened . . . It never happened . . .
Keith echoed that sentiment over and over in his mind. He would keep doing it until his heart believed it.

 

 

Gina ran into the ladies' room and into one of the stalls. She had barely locked the door before the dam loosed and the tears exploded. She cried and cried. She cried for Michael. She cried for Keith. Mostly, she cried for herself. She had finally known love, only to lose it in a twist of fate. Yet, she knew that she'd made the right decision. This way, she would always be able to live with herself.

She pulled herself together and returned to Michael's bedside. She took his hands into hers. “Michael Ward, this is not the way to get me to forgive you,” Gina reprimanded. “Almost killing yourself... I am so mad at you.” Then she belied her words by sniffling. “Oh, Michael, I love you,” she said. “I love you, I love you. Did you hear me? Don't you dare
die.
”

She turned around to look at Keith, having heard the door open. “I'm sorry,” Gina said. There was no way he hadn't heard her telling Michael that she loved him.

Keith swiped at his eyes. “Don't be,” he urged. Then he changed the subject. “My mother went to get some coffee. Do you want anything?”

“No,” Gina answered, shaking her head. “Thank you. But I couldn't swallow anything right now.”

“Gina,” he said, “I feel tacky saying this right now, but . . .”

She tensed but waited for him to go on.

“I'm sorry about a lot of things, but I'm not sorry about the way that I feel. For just a brief moment, I was allowed to rediscover love, and for that, I will
never
be sorry.”

His words stayed with her.

All through the night, Gina tossed and turned on the couch in the waiting area, pondering his departing comment. At about four o'clock in the morning, she decided to use the complimentary phone provided in the room to check her messages since her cell had long died.

There were three from Colleen. Gina made a mental note to call her back as soon as possible. She just couldn't leave Michael's side yet. She hung up the phone and returned to Michael's room.

Keith and his mom were engaged in deep discussion. His mother was urging him to leave and to take Gina home.

“I'll be all right.” Gerry waved her hands to ward off any more objections from her son. “Take Gina home so she can shower and change. Make sure she eats something as well. Then get yourself a shower. You two need some rest. Come back in a couple of hours. If anything changes, I'll call.”

“Come on. There's no use arguing with my mother once she's made up her mind.” Without realizing it, Keith took Gina's hand, and they left the room. He led her out to the parking lot and opened his car door for her. Dazed, Gina let him take over because she was exhausted and hunger pangs bit at her stomach.

When he pulled up to her house, she remembered what had happened between them just hours ago. “Oh, God,” Gina cried. She put her fist in her mouth to contain her emotions. “It's all coming back to me. While we were . . . were . . . He was probably on his way here. This is all my fault.”

Keith gripped her shoulders. “Gina! Stop it.” He commanded forcefully. “This was not your fault. It wasn't my fault either.”

Gina's expression showed that she did not believe him at all.

Keith reminded her, “Let's not forget about Michael's part in all this, okay? He deceived you by not telling you about Karen. That's why you were not with him.”

He could see that he was not getting through to her. Gina was too consumed with self-recrimination to think rationally. “Listen, stop blaming yourself. If you want to blame anybody, blame me. I never should have said anything to you about how I feel . . . I should have left you alone.”

“No.”
Gina said.

Keith released her. The two looked at each other. There was no use denying it. The love they shared was still a strong force.

“I'm glad you didn't leave me alone,” Gina murmured. “How else could I have ever known what—” She stopped, regained her composure, and with an emphatic shake of the head, stated, “It never happened.”

Keith cursed. “Yes, it did.” He grabbed Gina and kissed her until she responded. Her body curved into his. Having proven his point, Keith pushed her away from him. “Say anything you want, Gina,” he huffed, “but don't say that. It did happen, and it was . . . I don't even have the right word for how good it was. But I'm not going to stand here and let you dismiss it.”

“How could you?” Gina asked. “How could you say this to me while your brother could be on his deathbed?”

“Because it's true,” Keith insisted. “It's the
truth
. We can't run from the truth.”

“Tell me,” she pleaded, “what do you want me to do?”

“I don't expect you and me to ever be—not anymore. But I don't ever want you to regret what happened between us, and I don't want you to forget it either.”

“So, what do you want?” She held her hand out with confusion.

“I don't know,” Keith said, emitting a huge sigh. “I heard you tell Michael that you loved him, and I'm okay with that. I can even understand if you stay with him after all this because that's the type of woman that you are. I just don't want . . .”

“I won't ever forget what we shared, and I know how I feel about you,” Gina said softly. “But considering a man almost lost his life because of me, I feel I owe Michael this. I've got to give him another chance.”