Walking on Sunshine (15 page)

“I know I wouldn't part with my collection.” Garret thought again that they had more in common than what he'd first thought.

“Well, obviously music is in your blood, Garret. I've been told that you're an amazing musician.”

“Would you like to sit in on a session sometime?”

Mattie stopped in her tracks and put her hand on his arm. “Really? Oh my gosh, I would just love it!”

“Then you shall,” Garret said, and he had to wonder if she touched him because of the lessons from the other night or if she simply wanted to have the physical contact. That thought reminded him that she was interested in Colby, not him. They were friends, not lovers, and that status wasn't likely to change. But that realization didn't keep Garret from wishing that instead of going to Sully's they could stay at her cabin, sit in front of the fireplace, and listen to her record collection. “I'll have to take you to the Groove in Nashville,” he said.

“The used record store?” she asked with raised eyebrows. “I've been longing to go there!”

“There are quite a few shops around town. We could take a little tour if you'd like.”

“I would like that a lot. But I have to warn you that you'll have to drag me out of the store. When I'm browsing through records I get in a zone and have to look at everything,” she said, and gave his arm a squeeze.

“Well, then that'll make two of us,” Garret said. “So closing the shops down won't be a problem,” he promised, and when she smiled it took everything in his power not to pull her into his arms for a much needed kiss. He felt such a connection to her on so many unexpected levels, making him want to know everything about Mattie Mayfield. He also knew that it was going to be difficult to even look at another woman tonight . . . and even harder to see her dancing in the arms of another man.

Let the Sun Shine In

M
ATTIE WISHED TH
AT THEY COULD FORGO
THE EVENING
at Sully's and spend the night at her cabin spinning records and talking. And now that she was walking toward the other side of the cabin with the master suite, Mattie felt her heart start knocking against her ribs. If she was honest she wanted to do much more than talk. But she couldn't be honest, because giving in to her feelings would mean ruining the night and risking their friendship.

“This is my bedroom,” Mattie announced. She was going for a breezy tone as she waved her arm in an arc, but her voice decided to betray her and come out husky and suggestive. She also realized that her hand was pointed directly at the queen-sized wrought-iron bed that she'd painted white. The down-filled comforter was accented by plump satin and lace pillows in various shapes and sizes. The antique vanity, accessories, and dresser were all white as well, giving the room an ethereal look and feel that she found soothing.

“This is simply gorgeous,” Garret commented as he looked at the bed. “It looks like you sleep on a fluffy cloud.”

“It's the only room I wanted finished in drywall so I could paint the walls white. So you like it?” She was surprised at how much she wanted his approval.

“Yes, except you can't eat Cheetos in bed,” Garret answered, making her laugh.

“True.” But then again if she had him in her bed she wouldn't waste time eating snacks. Warmth filled her face at the thought and she turned around from the bed so fast that she nearly spun in a complete circle. She led him to the master bath located behind pocket doors that popped open when tugged. From the pristine tile floor to the antique linens neatly draped on a three-tiered rack, the entire room also gleamed in pure white accented with a smattering of cream trim here and there.

“So, what do you think?” Mattie watched him take in the large antique claw-foot bathtub perched on a large square pedestal at the back of the room.

“Wow,” Garret said, and walked over to the tub. He ran his hand over the smooth curved edge. “This is just brilliant. So, do you take long bubble baths and have candles lit all around?” He looked over at the white wicker stand topped with several fat, stubby candles, all of which were slightly burned down. The light scent of vanilla filled the air.

“When I get the time I take a long soak and read. But most days I use the shower in the smaller bathroom across the hall.” She pointed in that direction.

“Pity not to get to take long soaks more often.” Garret shook his head and continued to look at the tub, making Mattie wonder if he was picturing her with her hair pinned up while taking a sexy bubble bath. Then again maybe he just thought the old-fashioned tub was cool. Mattie had a sudden vision of the two of them in the tub together and had to take a sip of her cold beer in an effort to cool off.

Garret turned and gave her a long look. The spacious bathroom suddenly seemed to shrink to the size of a closet. “Ah, Mattie . . .” He shook his head slowly. “I knew I was right.”

“What?” Mattie asked, trying to sound feisty, but the doggone breathless thing happened again. She cleared her throat and took a sip of beer to try to hide the hot thoughts that started flashing into her head. Washing his hair; soaping his back.

Oh, and then slowly sliding her wet body against his, rocking against him while the water and bubbles surrounded them like a warm, fragrant cocoon. Pretty soon she was going to melt into a puddle that could slide right down the drain.

“You're a hopeless romantic,” Garret stated softly. He reached over and picked up a lock of her hair just briefly and then smiled.

“So, did you expect a rifle over the hearth and deer heads on the walls?” she tried to joke.

“No.” Garret didn't crack a smile but simply shook his head. “And I'm guessing nobody really sees this side of you.”

She lifted one shoulder. “Of course my family comes over, but they think I did all this by looking at magazines. My brothers actually poke fun at my white bedroom, and boy, they complained when I bought the tub at an estate sale last year. That thing weighs a ton and they grumbled the whole time they carried it in here,” she said.

“But this is who you really are,” he said, and when she glanced away he reached over and tilted her cheek back to face him.

“Yeah,” she answered in a barely there voice. “I like pretty things.”

“Me too,” he said, and let his gaze lower to her mouth.

Mattie's heart raced when she realized that he wanted to kiss her. Or at least he seemed to be thinking about it. But then again maybe this was part of the game they were supposed to be playing. But for her the game was becoming all too real. “And you're not that badass person that you tried to sell to the entire world, are you, Garret?”

“No.”

“Then who are you?”

“Well, now.” He tilted his head to the side. “I dunno, really. I suppose I'm just now trying to figure that part out. Rather silly to be living a life that's a lie, don't you think?”

“Yes. Incredibly silly.” Mattie longed to reach over and rub her thumb over the tawny stubble on his chin and then cup her palms against his cheeks. What would happen if she was honest and told him of her deepening feelings for him? But was she really falling for Garret? Or were her feelings simply a tangled-up reaction to how much male attention he gave her? Attention that she'd craved as long as she could remember.

She was growing so weary of playing the role of the tomboy kid sister.

“Are you okay? Did I say something wrong, love?”

“Of course not.” Mattie gave him a smile that she hoped looked real. “I think I'm just a bit nervous showing up at Sully's all dressed up like this. I'm usually in jeans and a T-shirt with a logo on it.”

“You will turn heads, you know.”

“You are so good for my ego.”

“I'm only telling you the truth.”

Mattie allowed herself to lean in and give him a quick kiss on the cheek, but even that light touch ignited a hot sizzle of desire. In about one more second she would completely lose control and pull him into her arms for a long kiss instead of that unsatisfying peck on the cheek. Mattie shook her head, thinking that she always considered those ripping-clothes-off-each-other love scenes that she read about were pure fantasy. Oh, but she suddenly longed to tug Garret into her bedroom and shove him onto her bed. She'd push the pillows to the side in one fell swoop and make wild, crazy love to him until she fell back exhausted, unable to move. Mattie turned away before he might see in her eyes what she was thinking, but Garret reached out and took her hand.

“Why did you shake your head? I'm not just playing
the role, Mattie. When I give you a compliment, I'm sincere.”

Mattie inhaled a deep breath. He wasn't making her plight any easier.

“You believe me, right?”

“I do.” She shook her head and felt emotion well up in her throat.

“Good.” He gave her hand a squeeze but then fell silent.

“Let's go take our drinks outside onto the back deck and watch the sun sink low in the sky. What do you say?” She willed him to read her mind and take control, because if he did kiss her or,
dear God
,
want to make love to her she just might be powerless to stop him. She wanted to be in his arms more than she wanted to breathe.

But that would change everything in a heartbeat. The thought frightened her.

Still, she held her breath and waited.

Garret licked his bottom lip and paused long enough to give Mattie hope. “Mattie, I spent most of my adult life doing selfish things for all the wrong reasons. For the first time in my life I can look at myself in the mirror and not cringe at the memory of what I'd done the night before. And quite frankly sometimes I couldn't even recall what I'd done. I was reckless. Careless. The stories in the tabloids all held a grain of truth.”

“We've all done things we've regretted, Garret.”

“Yeah, but my bad behavior was on a regular basis and I got to the point where I didn't even care anymore. I was simply lost without any sense of direction. Mattie, I was so far gone that I was willing to get married simply to create a reality show.”

“
Was
, Garret. You're not that guy any longer. Give yourself some credit for making changes in your life.”

“Moving to this town and being around you has helped me become a better person. It feels good to do the right thing.”

“And what is the right thing that you think you're doing?” Mattie asked even though she was pretty sure of his answer.

“Do you want me to be honest?”

“Yes,” Mattie replied, even though she wasn't sure she wanted to hear his explanation.

Garret looked at her with serious eyes, and her heart took a plunge. This wasn't going to be good. “I want to pull you into my arms and kiss you senseless and then take you into that white bedroom and make sweet love to you all night long. I want to fall asleep in that big bed that looks like a cloud and wake up next to your beautiful face.”

Her heart sprang upward and bounced to its rightful place but beat wildly. “And would that be so wrong?”

“Yes.” Garret reached over and cupped her chin. “Because you're in love with someone else. Someone who is completely right for you. I came swooping in here and turned your orderly world upside down.”

“I think my orderly world needed a bit of shaking up.” Mattie wanted to tell him that she couldn't possibly be in love with Colby because she thought of Garret constantly. “In more ways than one.” Lately she'd been bored with fixing the same breakfasts and had been thinking about making some changes at the restaurant. But the locals loved it there, and change could chase people away. She didn't want to disappoint her older customers who came in every day. Her restaurant was more than just food and she knew it. “Change is scary, Garret, but can be a good thing in the end. You just have to be willing to embrace it. Look at the changes you're making.”

“I wouldn't be good for you, Mattie.”

“You can't know that.”

“I wouldn't want to hurt you or come between what you've wanted for so long.” He sighed. “I already have and I hate that.”

“Really? Well, sometimes you have to be like Rusty
and risk it for the biscuit.” She tried for a smile, but it trembled at the corners.

“That's just it. I don't want to steal you away and then break your heart. It's one of the few things I've been consistently good at.”

“That's all in the past! You're starting with a clean slate here in Cricket Creek.”

“Yes, but, Mattie, breaking your heart would shatter me as well.”

“Then you must already care,” she said with the hint of a challenge.

“I won't deny that.”

Mattie leaned against the edge of the pedestal sink for support. “I'm a big girl, Garret. Why don't you let me decide what risk I'm willing to take?”

Garret closed his eyes and swallowed. After taking a deep breath he looked at her. “Because we both know that you need to see where this thing with Colby will take you. He's more than taken notice of you, Mattie. You've wanted this for so long and I'm damn well not going to ruin it for you. That wasn't the plan.”

“But honestly, Garret, I would much rather stay here with you tonight.”

“And I would be powerless to keep my hands to myself.”

“I wouldn't want you to.”

He raised his hands to cradle the sides of his head. “God, you're killing me.”

“Then—”

“No.” He reached over and put a gentle fingertip to her lips. “I wouldn't feel right, Mattie. I know I'm different from any guy you've ever known. What happens when the novelty wears off?”

“Do you think I'm that shallow?” She felt a stab of hurt. “That you're like some shiny toy that I'll grow weary of and toss away?”

“No.
God no
. I think you're that innocent.”

“Innocent? Why? Because I'm from a small town? That's not fair.”

“No, I didn't mean it that way,” he said, clearly becoming frustrated. “You have this big heart and see the good in people.”

“And what's wrong with that?”

“Nothing! I'm just undeserving!”

“That's totally ridiculous!” Mattie sputtered, but she studied his face for a moment and she finally understood. “Are we still being honest?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

“This isn't about me at all. You're the one who's afraid, Garret.”

“Of hurting you? Yes.”

“No. Okay, yes, maybe. I'll give you that because I can see it in your eyes. But the real problem is that you truly believe that the novelty
will
wear off.”

“Okay, yes! I am. And then you'll wish you hadn't blown your chance with Colby. I won't . . . no,
can't
start a relationship with you until you know that you're not in love with
him
. That would be unfair to either of us.”

“So, let me get this straight. You're going to push me into the arms of another man?” Mattie felt tears well up in her eyes. “That's just . . . plain stupid.”

“Yeah, I do stupid really well.” Garret shoved his fingers through his hair. “Sometimes it seriously sucks to be me.” He gave her a wry smile and then reached over to cup her cheek once more. “I've seen the way you look at him, Mattie. You get this . . . this
dreamy
look on your face. And I remember how you defended him even when he tossed you into the damn river!”

Mattie shook her head, but she knew that Garret spoke the truth. She had to know or she would never have closure. It really wouldn't be fair to Garret. Would it? “So, what do we do now?”

“We go to Sully's and carry on with the plan,” he insisted in a rather sullen tone that tugged at her heart.