Wandering Girl (4 page)

MY ATTITUDE

In the morning I got up and did my usual jobs. When I went in to breakfast, she came and told me she was going into town. I was to clean all the party stuff away. I could sense she wasn't happy with me. The feeling was mutual!

While she was in town she was going to ring the priest up at the mission to tell him of my behaviour as somehow or other she couldn't quite get through to me. I wasn't doing what she wanted me to do. As far as my work went I was all right, but my attitude towards her... she supposed I was very ignorant.

When she left I sort of shrugged my shoulders. If there was any ignorance, I felt it was on her part, but in those days it was wiser if you didn't say anything. I went about cleaning up the breakfast dishes, then I started in the party room. What a mess that was! It took me all morning to clean and polish, as a lot of drinks had been spilt on the carpet and furniture. They were stained terrible, so I had to do a double cleaning job. Then I went out to the shed to where she kept her wood.

Before leaving she had ordered me to chop wood and stack the wood boxes up full. When I reached the wood shed, which was near the chook yard, I found the unsplit logs piled right up to the roof. They weren't easy to get at but I pulled some down, got the axe out from under an old bench, and chopped away at the wood, letting all my frustrations out.

One of her sons was out in a lounge chair, relaxing and reading the paper under a shady tree. It was Robert, the younger one, who seemed more friendly than the rest of them. He did at least answer me when I had to speak to him. That morning I could feel his eyes on me so I sort of got behind the door a little bit, as I felt shame, bending down and picking up wood in front of him. He must have sensed it too! When I was ready to go into the lounge room with an armload of wood, he beckoned me over to him.

I dropped the wood I was holding and went over to him in a very embarrassed state, wondering what he wanted? I put my head down in a bashful way. He told me he was going to town. Would I go in and polish his shoes?

I didn't even look at him, glad for the chance to get away. I took off to the shoe stand to clean his shoes. When I finished that I had to place them just outside his bedroom door. Robert was inside and must have heard me. He poked his head out of the doorway, telling me to clean his room up while he was in town. I nodded my head and went on my way down the passage.

In a way I was glad that I would be on my own. I started collecting up the wood again, sort of keeping myself busy until Robert was ready to go. I made sure he could see me working, just in case he met his mother in town. He could let her know that I was toiling very hard when he left.

All the same I couldn't wait for him to go as I was dying to raid the fridge and have a good feed, then have a bash at the old piano.

I had learnt to play mainly by teaching myself at the mission. We had singing lessons every Saturday afternoon with Sister Anneburg. She taught us mostly hymns and folk songs - fifty of us at a time gathered around the piano in the dining room.

When the nuns weren't around to stop us, we girls used to slip into the dining room for some practise. That was one good thing about kitchen duties - you could sneak off to the piano. If the nuns were at their prayers we could have as long as two hours to ourselves having fun and making lots of noise.

I heard the car start up. I waited back in the shed for awhile then heard Robert drive off and I jumped with glee. Cautiously I checked everything out, then went into the kitchen and helped myself to cold meat and salads.

After I cleaned up I felt very good and at ease. I went into the room where the piano was. I made sure to sit at the window, where I could see down the driveway. Thinking, “This will fix the old girl”, I played songs and sang to my heart's content for most of the afternoon. If she could have seen me she would have had a fit!

Then I took a break. I sat back and looked around the room, trying to remember if all my jobs were done, as it was getting late. I got up from the piano and polished all the keys to make sure my fingerprints were not on them.

Then I found an old photo album in her chest of drawers, so I sat back in her rocking chair and browsed through the book. One thing I loved was dwelling on the past of times gone by, of people and places. There seemed to me to be some enchantment about photos and things.

There were photographs of her wedding and of her family when they were younger. So stern and resolute in their looks and dress - even the children looked that way. I had to giggle a bit as the kids looked so funny, especially the boys in their big baggy shorts and braces. And crew cut hair. Little did I realize that's how all of us used to look as kids, even more so, as their clothes were in fashion, while ours were way out of fashion.

As I got up to put the book back I happened to glance down the road. I saw her just getting back into her car after opening the gate. Extremely nervous, I quickly pushed the chair back, checked to see that all was in order, then went out the door quick as a flash, ran to her garden hose, switched it on and made out I was hard at work watering her garden.

I heard the garage door slam. She came around to where I was and told me she had a long talk with the priest at the mission, and if my attitude towards her didn't change I wouldn't be allowed back later on for my holidays. Then she told me to go and collect her shopping from the car and take it into the kitchen.

I was to put all the groceries away and take her personal shopping and put that on her bed, then I was to go out and collect the eggs as it was getting late. After that I was to set the table for two. She told me not to worry about getting anything to eat for her and her husband. They would have a light meal of salad and cold meat which she was going to prepare herself. I could have a poached egg - and not to worry about anything else as her sons were dining out.

While I was eating my poached egg, she came out of the dining room to pick some mail up from the cupboard next to me. Before she went back, she told me that she was going back into town the next day and would I bake a couple of legs of lamb because the last one seemed to have gone down rather quick, which was unusual. Her sons must be eating very well.

I nearly choked on my last bite of bread. I picked up my tin mug and gulped down some tea, hoping I did not show any signs of being the culprit.

FIRST PAY

As time went by I was getting used to the place and its surroundings. Mrs Bigelow went into town quite a lot, which I didn't mind as I felt quite at ease doing things at my own pace. Strangely enough I was getting used to her and her ways too. I could control my emotions, and not tie myself up with remorseful feelings.

I think her being away all day helped a lot, as I didn't feel so uptight. I used to get very lonely, but I could put up with the loneliness rather than have her around, treating me like a robot.

Whenever she said anything to me it was like water off a duck's back. I thought the only way to beat her was to give her back some of her own medicine.

One certain day Mrs Bigelow came to me while I was out in the laundry washing and scrubbing away on the old scrubbing board. She stated that I had been with her over three months, and this day was Friday, which meant she would take me into town that afternoon, as she was going to pay me for my work. I got very excited, thanked her and told her that it was nice of her.

When she disappeared back into the house, I lost all interest in the washing, just got it out of the sink and hung it up quickly on the line. I went back into the laundry, then looked back and saw all the soap running from the clothes. The lawn looked like it was snowing.

So I got the water hose which was nearby, and hosed the clothes and lawn till all the evidence of soap was gone, then I was off to my room to get ready.

I grabbed my toiletries and had a wash, soaked my head with water, had a quick wipe over with my towel, then went to get dressed. I put on my Sunday best clothes that I used to wear in the mission. Sunday, the nuns considered this day a holy day, a special day, something important to do with their Catholic religion. All usual activities used to cease and we had to dress up in our Good Clothes.

So on this occasion I put on my green pleated skirt, which came down to the ankles, my white blouse with green embroidery around the collar, that matched up with my skirt, got the comb and ran it through my hair. I put on a pair of pale yellow shoes which looked as if they had seen better days, then ran out to where she was waiting in the car.

I opened the front door, apologized for keeping her waiting, then sat down beside her in the front seat. She look at me in a most disdainful way. Her hands went out towards me in a striking manner, shooing me out of the car. I got the fright of my life, my nerves being in a dreadful state. I thought a spider or lizard was on the seat with us, as she was acting like she was shooing a chook out of her car.

I jumped out of the car, tripped over and landed in her garden in the most embarrassing state. My skirt was up near my head. I got up quickly and pulled it down, very ashamed that she had seen my bloomers.

I didn't know what to do, I just stood there motionless while she was wiping down the front seat of the car where I had been sitting. When she finished she told me to go and dry my hair properly as it was still dripping, then to come back and sit in the back seat of the car - as she never allowed her slaves to sit with her in the front. I went back to my room. I didn't feel like going to town after that episode.

In town, I felt strange as I'd never seen so many people pushing here and there. She told me she was going to the bank, and I was to wait for her in the car till she came back with the money.

I felt nervous sitting there in the car, with people going up and down. It all seemed so frightening. So I got out of the car and ran behind Mrs Bigelow. When she got to the front door of the bank I was right beside her, smiling.

She was just about to scold me, when her angry face turned into smiles. One of her friends came up and said, “Hello” to her. I stood there feeling good, as she couldn't speak to me but had to continue her conversation with her friend. Then she excused herself and explained she was taking me, her dark helper, into the bank and she would catch up with her later on.

So we went into the bank. I was really terrified as I went up to the counter with her. There were faces, faces everywhere staring!

The man came to the counter and said, “May I help you, Mrs Bigelow?” She explained to him that she would like to draw some money out and also that she would like me to open a bank account, so when I came into town next time I could come and get my own money out. She asked the man to fix my business up first. While he went away to get my book and attend to the details, she gave me a fortnight's wages, four pounds.

With trembling hands I folded it up real small and put it in my bra. She told me I wasn't being lady-like and to get myself a purse. 1 was wishing that the man would hurry up as I wanted to get out of the place.

At last the man came back. He asked Mrs Bigelow for all the information. She told him she owed me two month's wages, which was sixteen pounds. She handed him the money to put in the book - then all of a sudden he asked me what my name was?