Wandering Off the Path (9 page)

A future where she was only half living. Only half the person she was now.

A future without Wolf.

Wolf watched the man leave, the door slamming behind him. His heart still pounded from Abigail’s avowal. His fists still clenched tight at his sides, ready to defend her from any attack.

He’d seen the longing in Hunter’s eyes as he’d looked at Abigail. The same bone-deep need pulled at his own heart when he stared down at those amber eyes, though his emotion was requited. The sunset-haired beauty, with her soft heart and fiery nature, could attract any man’s devotion. It had only taken Wolf moments to decide he wanted this woman, her curiosity tempting him to such a drastic response.

That same longing that had filled Hunter’s eyes had turned to anger in a moment. If he hadn’t been there, who knew what might have happened. Hunter might have even hit her. Wolf’s stomach twisted at the thought. If he had, Wolf wasn’t sure what he would have done, but pulling his limbs from his body appeared a sound idea.

He couldn’t deny he’d been as much to blame for the loss of her good name as Hunter was. He should have known better than to stake Abigail as his territory. She wasn’t his to claim. She never could be. She deserved far better than he.

He turned to look at Abigail, out of some instinct he couldn’t identify. He needed to see her. Needed to know she was beside him. His nerves prickled. Something wasn’t right. Something in the room had changed.

Beside him, Abigail bit down on her puffy lower lip. She stared up at him, her gaze watery with tears, slamming him in the chest and stealing his breath.

What have I done?
He’d taken her prospects from her, a future filled with happiness, in one arrogant gesture. One she clearly didn’t welcome. He should leave her, before he had any more time to destroy her life or deprive her of the future she really wanted. At the idea of tossing her aside, a need to protect her bloomed, strong and stiff, in his midsection, painful to push away. He couldn’t release her. Not today. Not any day.

Quickly she turned and ran to the bedroom. A sad, muffled noise escaped her throat as she scampered away, piercing him like an arrow to the chest. Not bothering to shut the door behind her, Abigail dropped to the bed. Bracing her elbows on her knees, she smothered her face in her palms. Sobs racked her small shoulders, each shake like tiny stabs to the gut.

Wolf followed her, not sure what to say or do, only aware of his need to comfort her in some way. Guilt ate at his stomach. A need to help her find a way to happiness, a course back to the path she intended to follow.

He stared down at her, curled into a tight ball on the edge of the bed. An apology tickled the tip of his tongue, but the words wouldn’t form. It had been a long time since he’d apologised for anything, since he’d felt any need to be sorry for anything besides the events leading to his family’s death. He hadn’t cared for anyone else’s suffering, not since everything had been taken from him. Until today.

“You didn’t have to send him away for me.” The floorboards creaked under his bare feet as he shifted his weight back and forth anxiously.

Abigail looked up from her palms, her eyes glassy, dried tears coating her cheeks. Her golden eyelashes clumped in wet, sticky peaks. Using her thumbs, she brushed along the salty trails, removing the lingering drops.

“I didn’t do it for you,” she squeaked out, meeting his eyes with a confused glare.

Pushing herself from the bed, Abigail turned towards him. She charged towards him and instinct bounded inside him. She was trying to leave, but he couldn’t allow her to leave. Not this time. His heart beat out the steady satisfying throb of ‘
Mine! Mine! Mine!’
His chest tightened, his heart tender with the longing to possess all of her. Body, heart and soul.

Wolf extended his hand, silently asking her to stay.

Abigail’s legs slumped beneath her, responding to his unspoken order. He drew in a harsh breath to calm the rising need within him. She complied so easily, so sweetly, it almost overpowered his control. Her submission tantalised him to take further advantage of her. Images danced in his mind of how he’d love to use that submission, all the ways he’d drive her to release over and over, but he’d already exploited her too much.

He clenched his fingers hard into his thigh, his nails biting deep into the leather and pinching the muscle beneath, attempting to distract himself with the little pain. But the sharp sting only reminded him of Abigail’s nails piercing his flesh, pulling him closer, pleading for more.

Releasing his leg, Wolf clasped his hands behind his back to prevent himself from reaching for her. He’d already seized so much from her—he’d taken her maidenhood, and her good name. He had no right to ask for any more, but he couldn’t stop himself all the same. “Why did you, then?”

Abigail inhaled a trembling breath. “After this time with you, I know I could never be content with a boring conventional life. I can’t marry a plain, polite man who would never treat me as you do. Who’d treat me like a fragile piece of glass, instead of a full-bodied woman, capable of making my own decisions. Who’d expect me to give up everything else I want to be his wife, to raise his children. Maybe I could have before, but not anymore. Not now that I know how much more life has to offer.” Her voice was soft and light, her tone even, but he could see the full weight of her statement in her gaze. A confusion she didn’t want to acknowledge. Another battle she fought with herself, a battle between what she wanted and what she needed.

She enjoyed his skill in bed, perhaps more than any other woman he’d known, but she still needed what all women craved. Protection, subsistence, tenderness.

Holding her cloak tight, Abigail bounded from the bed, her posture straight and determined. Her mouth was slanted in a thin line and her resolve to flee him was written across her face.

Wolf stepped forward, blocking the doorway with his large frame, barricading her only avenue of escape. Fear choked him as she continued, showing no signs of trepidation besides her fists clenched around her scarlet cloak. Panic of what he’d do if she got too close pumped through him. His stomach twisted as fresh hot desire filled him. The longing to grab hold of her and drag her back to the bed kicking and screaming blazed within him. He knew from experience that she wouldn’t be protesting for long. But nothing would be different then. One more rousing round wouldn’t change anything between them. He’d still want her and she’d still be too good for him.

“I have nothing to offer you,” he whispered, needing to keep her in the room, near him, no matter the price. He should be more selfless, he should leave now, walk away and leave her in one piece. After all his pride had brought, he still hadn’t learned that lesson. Abigail looked up, her head tilted to one side.

“If I had anything to give, I’d gladly offer it to you. I’d give you everything I am, but all I have are dark intentions. No future, no home, no lands, no family.”

The words scraped his throat as he released each hated syllable, but he needed to say them. He couldn’t let his dark desires take another woman hostage, force another woman to live a broken life, uncertain of what would happen to them day to day. He couldn’t live through losing all that mattered to him, again.

Wolf cringed. He could still hear the shrieked cries of his wife and daughter as the men beat them, echoing in his battered ears as he drifted into unconsciousness. The feel of their stiff bodies in his arms burned in his soul. If only he’d never tried to take more. If only he’d submitted when he’d been given the opportunity to repent, his family would still be alive today. His stubbornness, his need to show the world his worth, had led to the tragedy.

The men he’d thought had been his accomplices had stolen everything from him and left him for dead. They’d forced him to crawl into the woods and lick his wounds, to transform into something else. A creature that could withstand the pain.

“What makes you think I need any more than you’ve already given?” Abigail’s words interrupted his thoughts.

He swallowed at the invitation in her husky voice, inciting the primal need beneath. “Every woman wants more.”

Wolf remembered how his wife had begged him for security, a fine home, affection and a better life for their daughter. He’d thought he was doing the right thing, searching out other avenues to help his family, to help others. But he’d been proven wrong.

“I don’t.”

He let out a harsh breath, forcing his emotions under control. He combed his fingers through his hair as he fought for restraint. Desire flooded Abigail’s eyes, turning them from amber to the deep russet of a wild forest creature. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t surrender to the open invitation within them. Abigail deserved better.

“Yes, you do. You deserve a man who can be soft. Who can hold your hand and kiss you without throwing you over his shoulder, tying you to the bed and fucking you senseless. A man your grandmother would accept. Who would be an addition to your life, instead of forcing you to sever ties.”

Abigail opened her mouth but he continued, needing to complete his speech before it ripped his heart to shreds.

“Do you have any idea how much I’d like to make you mine? To tie you to me forever so you wouldn’t have the option to run once you discovered the true depth of the darkness within me. But I can’t do that to you. I can’t trap you. In time you’d learn to hate me for all I can’t be. You’d come to resent me for all I withheld from you.” He’d been there before and he wasn’t about to do it again. Not with Abigail.

“I love your darkness,” Abigail screamed when Wolf paused to breathe, loud enough so that he couldn’t ignore her, interrupting before he could invent more reasons to push her away. The attempt was useless. There was nothing he could say that would persuade her otherwise. She’d accepted Hunter’s departure—she didn’t need him. But Wolf was different. She couldn’t allow Wolf to walk away.

He clenched his teeth tight, as if he wanted to argue with her, but he didn’t say a word. His eyes bore into her, as if begging her to find some truth he hadn’t considered, some argument he’d yet to realise, that could allow him all he desired. A responding need bubbled inside her.

She needed Wolf. She craved his claiming glare, his strong, possessive hold that hurt her only enough to melt her insides. She revelled in every moment she’d captured with him, and would spend the rest of her life mourning his touch after he had left.

It had never occurred to her that he might be as interested in staying as she was in holding on to him. Knowing he wanted her unleashed an inner boldness within her. Whatever it took, Abigail was determined to keep him in her life.

“I want that part of you. I need it. You’re the only one who sees the real me. The side of me hidden so deep even I couldn’t locate it. You’re the only one who can fulfil me.”

Wolf evaded her honest gaze. She caressed the warm skin of his cheek, redirecting his eyes to hers. A groan escaped Wolf at the touch. He nuzzled into her hand, his thick whiskers tracing across her palm. Her knees trembled and her insides clenched with delicious friction until her mind hazed with the lust she’d worried would forever go unrequited.

“That you’re concerned for me, that you worry I might someday hold such pleasure against you, shows more to me than any soft words or gentle touch could.” She looked up at him, hoping he’d understand.

His eyes remained stern, but she pushed herself forward, forcing herself past her cowardice. Fear might’ve prevented her from reaching for Wolf before, but she wouldn’t allow herself to give in to panic again. Not since she’d learnt how much such denial prevented. “There’s more to you than darkness. There’s sweetness, beauty and love. It simply needs to be compelled to the surface.”

Wolf’s head fell forward, as if he suddenly found it too heavy to keep aloft. His brow braced against the crown of her head, shielding his expressions from her sight. His warm breath spread across her cheek as he released a slow, calming exhale. “I do care for you,” he whispered into her hair.

It wasn’t as deep as she wanted, but she accepted his words. She bit back the desire to declare her own feelings. The sentiment he’d given her would have to be enough, she wouldn’t push him by offering up more.

She turned her head to meet his lips, the kiss fast and hard, until they groaned together. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, smashing their bodies together. His fingers clawed into her flesh with such ferocity she’d have bruises the next day. And she wouldn’t be sorry. She combed her fingers through his hair, tugging the strands in an answering caress. The sign of his acceptance of her words grew hard and taut against her stomach.

“Show me?” she challenged when they’d separated for much-needed air. “Make me scream. Show me how much you want me.”

Her eyes met his, the golden colour alive and dark with desire. A wicked smile stretched across his face.

“If you’d like…” His gaze intensified, watching her lick her lips in invitation. “I’ll tie you to the bed for days.”

“No,” she spoke forcefully, trembling at the thought. A nervous, excited smile curved her lips. Her face warmed under his intense stare. A wet heat dripped between her legs. “I wouldn’t like that.”

Wolf’s face dropped, but he didn’t attempt to force or coerce her into surrender. He held still, leaving her the choice to accept what he offered, or decline his invitation. And her heart sang.