Wanderlust (2 page)

“It’s not funny,” he insisted. “Chaseyn said he would gladly step aside, and I plan on taking him up on that offer.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said coyly. That’s when I heard the airline call our seating area, so I took my purchase to the counter and paid. On the walk back, Eli slung his arm playfully around my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. I simply wasn’t in the mood.

Making our way through the narrow aisle on the A380, we were comforted by the fact that, at least, our seats were near the front of the bird. Our patience with the long boarding process would be rewarded by being some of the first people off the plane once we had touched down on the other side of the ocean. Though, that seemed a long time to wait for such a pittance.

Refusing Eli’s offer of assistance—I was, after all, making every effort to exert my independence from male companionship—I schlepped my heavy backpack into the overhead bin and took the middle seat. Stuck between Addie and Eli for a nine-hour flight; the thought was painful at best. I loved Addie, really, I did, but between the constant chatter about her sunshine-and-rainbows life and Eli’s passive-aggressive attempts to woo me, I was sure my mind would spontaneously combust before we were safely back on the ground. And, we hadn’t even taken flight yet.

Finally, we strapped ourselves in and sat in silence as the cabin crew prepared for departure. I was nervous. Really nervous, and I chewed at the skin around the nail of my left thumb, sighing when a bead of blood oozed from the gash I had made with my teeth. If Chaseyn had been here, he would have enjoyed the gruesome “treat.” It still creeped me out when he did things like that, and I chuckled as a chill ran down my spine at the thought. Finally, something I wouldn’t miss about him--an inherent flaw in someone I had always seen as flawless.

I had never been anywhere, really. Not outside the continental United States, anyway. Okay, aside from channeling the north western corner of Oklahoma on road trips to visit my grandma in Amarillo, I had never been outside of Colorado or Texas. Sheltered? Not quite. Deprived? Maybe.

My dad had died when I was just a kid, and my mom had to work extremely hard just to keep a roof over our heads. Luxuries like travel had never been a part of my vocabulary. On the contrary, my best friend, Addie, had lived a charmed life. As a kid, I would sit on the front porch drooling over the caption-length notes she would scribble on the back of glossy postcards and send to me from her travels around the world. I stared at those cards for hours, hanging onto every word. Over and over again, I would read each line and imagine I was jet setting to the same exotic locales featured on the front cover. Finally, I was bringing those dreams to life and heading on a summer-long adventure abroad. Addie was going to act as my personal guide, giving me the grand tour of all her favorite European destinations.

Addie had a way of showering me with lavish gifts, but it only made me feel indebted to her. The only way I would agree to come on this trip was if I paid my own way. Over the school year, I had managed to scrape together enough to finance three weeks of mediocrity abroad. I had read every budget travel book available at the local library, and I was thrilled at the untold possibilities of the summer. Addie, on the other hand, would be stepping down her standards over the next few weeks. The luxuries to which she had grown accustomed during her family’s overseas journeys would be limited on this particular venture. We were roughing it, to say the least. Given the limited reach of my funds, we would be staying in less-than-stellar establishments for most of our adventure. Addie claimed she was eager to explore how the other half lived, but I suspected she was cringing a wee bit underneath that chipper smile. It wouldn’t be a complete surprise one bit if she lavished us with a few expensive resort stays along the way. In fact, I was counting on it.

Chapter 2 - Takeoff

Now that we were comfortably seated in the exit aisle and properly informed about our responsibilities as the lucky recipients of such coveted seating arrangements, we settled in for the long flight. As Addie leaned over to reach into her enormous Louis Vuitton tote for her iPod, I couldn’t help but notice a sleek chain pop out from under her shirt collar. A small loop dangled like a pendant from the center of the white gold necklace, a shiny gem—only marginally larger than a pinhead—glistened like the sun from the circular object.

“Addie, what is
that
?” I questioned, pointing a finger at the ring that was now laying flat against her chest. “Is that a promise ring?”

By now, Eli had descended into an unconscious state. He was snoring loudly to my right, head propped upright by one of those ridiculous horseshoe-shaped, travel pillows that wraps around your neck.

Addie was adamant. She had never been so persistent before, and I knew she was passionate about this subject. I decided to let it slide—for now. After all, senior class did vote her most likely to marry her high-school sweetheart. Rob had filled that role on and off for so many years that it only seemed obvious that this would be the next step in their relationship.

“Is this why you didn’t want to talk about him on the way to the airport? Is it because you were worried about what I would say about this?”

“Well, with Chaseyn leaving, I just thought it would be better to wait a while. I didn’t think it was right to rub your face in my happiness.”

“Ugh,” I muttered. “That was my choice, Addie. I’m fine.”

Chaseyn. I wished they would stop saying
his
name. The whole point of breaking up with him—no, asking him to leave—was so that I could stand alone for awhile. Find out who Cordelia Lorelei Jameson really was. Chaseyn had a big presence. Larger than life. It was hard to stand out from under his shadow, and as much as I knew I would never find another individual so attuned to me any place on Earth, I needed to take a step back. For how long, I didn’t know. It could be months. Maybe years. When I was ready, I knew he would be waiting. I had faith. Better than that, I had his word. Chaseyn would never go back on his word. However, right now, I just wanted to stop thinking about him and focus on the near future. I decided to take the heat off of me by turning the conversation back on Addie.

“So what does Rob think about Eli joining us?” I asked Addie now that we had settled into our economy seats and the engines were starting to roar.

As she dialed his number, she handed me a small white envelope. I knew the texture of the heavy paper and the familiar scrawl all too well. Chaseyn had found a way to send me one last message.

“He told me to wait until there was no turning back to give it to you,” Addie explained, twisting her head away from the receiver.

I gave her a nasty look, but she just shrugged.

“Don’t shoot the messenger,” she said and listened for Rob’s voice to answer on the other end of the line.

Despite my anger that I just couldn’t seem to escape Chaseyn’s reach, I tore through the paper with extreme care, ensuring not a single word was ripped from the numerous pages inside. He had a lot to say. Much more than usual--he was typically a man of few words. As much as I wanted to believe that I didn’t need him, I clung to every word as I read them silently over and over again.

Cordelia, my love.

Trust that this is the last time I will be in contact. At least, until you call for me.

In the meantime, I want you to live--to experience all that this wonderful, crazy, strange, and enigmatic world has to offer. You deserve to be free from the darkness that falls in my shadow and to enjoy your youth. But I need you to know that I love you more than I have ever loved anything in my unnaturally long existence as a teenage boy. Know that you will always be my one and only true love and that, without you, eternity means nothing to me but the passing of meaningless days.

Have fun, my sweet Cordelia, but be mindful of all of the evils in the world. Because of me, you are in constant danger, and it pains me to stay away knowing that I am the one person who can keep you safe.

At reading those words, a single tear slipped down my cheek. The last time. It seemed so final, even though I knew it wasn’t. For three pages, Chaseyn wrote about his undying devotion to me and how he envisioned a long and happy future for us together some day. He begged me to be wary of everyone I met along our trek and to let Eli protect me from any potential evils. But most of all, he urged me to take as long as I needed to find myself and, eventually, to return to him.

But, promise me, Cordelia, that you will return. I don’t care if you come back to me tomorrow or 50 years from now, just swear that you will come back to me one day. I am here if—when—you need me.

Only one part of me is truly human, and it belongs to you, Cordelia. My heart is your forever.

All my love,
C.

The sound of quiet sobs and obnoxious sniffles snapped my attention to Addie. While I had been absorbed by Chaseyn’s parting words, Addie had been wallowing in her own self pity. I had no idea how long she had been waiting for me to notice. Judging by the flight attendants pacing down the aisles with drinks and snacks, we had been airborne for some time. She would have hung up the phone long before our wheels had lifted off from the tarmac. I felt guilty for not noticing.

Gee, I thought to myself. I could have seen that coming a mile away. He had always been a little hot headed, and when it came to Addie, extremely jealous. Still, I tapped my shoulder, indicating she should rest her head there while I stroked her hair.

“It’ll be fine. You know he can’t stay mad at you,” I said encouragingly. I left out the fact that I thought she should have come clean with Rob about Eli long before we left Evergreen, especially considering Chaseyn had apparently informed her of his plan to send Eli along more than a week earlier. There was little she could do to remedy that situation now. Rob was a teddy bear when it came to matters of the heart involving his relationship with Addie. He would be over it before the next time they talked.

“I know,” she agreed feebly. “I just hate knowing that I won’t hear his voice again until I’m an entire continent away. I miss him like crazy already.”

I sighed. Addie was such a girl sometimes. Then again, I’d been behaving a bit “girly” myself lately, and I wasn’t sure I liked the change in me.

Chapter 3 - Dreams

When I had watched every movie that didn’t require knowledge of a foreign language and had tired of flipping through the pages of the same two magazines, I began fidgeting wildly. All the while, Eli and Addie sat still as statues, breathing heavy in what appeared to be a delightfully restful state.

We were well into the nine-hour flight when I finally managed to catch some shut-eye. I had propped my pillow atop Addie’s pointed shoulder and rested my head uncomfortably against the rough fabric. Darkness filled the cabin—only the odd overhead light glimmered throughout. Over Addie’s slumped head, I could catch a slight glimpse of the fluffy, cotton-batten clouds that were lined with glowing gold fringes, on the cusp of twilight. Or was it dawn? The fact that we were fast forwarding seven hours into the future was wreaking havoc with my mind.

I had only been asleep a short time when I was jolted awake. A cold sweat washed over my body. Instantly, I knew I had again fallen victim to the tumultuous dreams that had haunted my sleep for weeks before Chaseyn first arrived in Evergreen a little more than nine months ago. For some reason, his presence had kept my mind from falling victim to the night terrors that had once keep me awake night and day.

An epiphany enlightened my still hazy mind. Despite my request, Chaseyn had not left Evergreen after my mom‘s wedding to Kevin a week ago. Though he had stayed away and pretended to be gone, he must have been nearby all the while. Had he truly been gone, the dreams would have returned earlier. This was the first time I was truly away from his presence. Suddenly, my heart grew heavy and salt water flooded my eyes. My shoulders heaved lightly, and I sobbed silently, or so I thought.