Wanted: Parents for a Baby! (19 page)

He tried, and failed, to summon a smile. “Cassie. What brings you here?”

“I didn't sleep very well last night,” she said.

“Me, either,” he admitted. “And don't worry, I understand.”

Her brow knitted in confusion. “Understand what?”

“Why you ran off to the bathroom like that.” He glanced around, thinking that standing in his driveway probably wasn't the best place to have this conversation. “Do you want to go inside?”

She hesitated. “Could we take a walk instead?”

“Sure.” The fact that she didn't want to be inside Victoria's house wasn't too surprising. He fell into step beside her as they made their way down to the road.

“I shouldn't have run to the bathroom last night,” she said. “I'm sorry. Hearing about how you lost a son similar to the way I lost two babies hit me harder than I expected.”

He was surprised to hear that. “I figured you were upset about the fact that I was secretly glad to be free of Victoria.” There, he'd said it again, in case she hadn't heard him the first time.

“Oh, Ryan, I know just how that feels. As much as I mourned the loss of my baby, I was also secretly glad to know that I found out about Evan, too. I wanted my child more than anything, but sharing that child with someone like him…” She shrugged. “It took me a long time to realize that maybe losing my baby was a mixed blessing.”

He was flabbergasted by her admission. “You don't think I'm a terrible person?” he asked.

She frowned. “Of course not.”

The relief that hit him was
overwhelming. “You don't know how much hearing that means to me.” He captured her hand in his and stopped so he could face her. “I'm glad you don't hate me.”

Her eyes filled with compassion. “I don't hate you, Ryan. I can't hate you when I've fallen in love with you.”

His mouth dropped open in surprise and the stabbing pain in his heart eased. “Cassandra, I love you, too.”

He would have kissed her but she threw up her hand, planting it in the center of his chest. “I'm sorry, but I find that hard to believe,” she said huskily. “How can you love me when you haven't forgiven yourself?”

He covered her hand on his chest with his. “Cassie, you have to understand that I've been trying to forgive myself since the day Victoria died.”

Her smile was sad. “I know, and I suspect that finding that Dr. Stevenson, who'd supplied her pain meds, helped a bit.”

“Yes, but that wasn't the biggest change that helped me,” he said, gazing down into her wide brown eyes. He needed her to believe him. “It was you, Cassandra. All you. Your warmth, your laughter, your smile. After I lost my son, I refused to care that much about
anyone. You healed the piece of my heart that I thought was lost forever.”

“Oh, Ryan,” she whispered. “I want so badly to believe you.”

He understood that trust must be difficult, considering the way her ex had betrayed her. “What can I say to make you believe me? I love you so much. I love you and I want to be with you, forever.”

Amazing how saying the words became easier and easier when they were right.

“You realize I probably can't give you children,” she said, dropping her gaze. “I'll have the surgery, but there are no guarantees. And even though I probably won't get to foster Emma, I'd still like to complete the classes, just in case another baby comes along that needs a home.”

“Of course you'll complete the classes,” Ryan said. He gently tipped her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. “I love you, Cassandra. Babies, either foster-care babies or our own, will just be an added bonus. Don't you see? You're the most important person to me.”

“How can you be so sure?” she asked.

He cupped her face in his hands. “Because you hold the tiny piece of my heart that I
thought was frozen forever. Without you, I'm nothing but a shell of a man going through the motions of life. Emma may have brought us together initially, but you're the one who healed my heart. You healed my soul. I will always love you, so if you need time, I'll wait for as long as it takes. And I'll never hurt you. Because anything that upsets you hurts me worse.”

Tears filled her eyes and he couldn't help himself.

He kissed her, trying to reinforce without words just how much she meant to him.

* * *

Cassie wrapped her arms around Ryan's neck, drowning in the sweetness of his kiss.

Was it possible that he really had forgiven himself? And if so, could she trust in his feelings for her? Trust him when he claimed that her ability to give him a child didn't matter?

A car horn honked, breaking them apart from their heated kiss.

“How about I drive us back to your place?” Ryan asked in a husky voice. “I need to be with you. Even if all we do is talk some more.”

“I'd like that,” she murmured. He'd promised to give her time, but right now she couldn't bear to be separated from him, either.

The expression of love in his eyes couldn't be faked. And if he loved her, then he surely accepted her the way she was, right? Faults and all.

The same way she loved him.

They walked back to his place and he insisted on leaving her car there so they could take the convertible. “We'll come back to get it later.”

She nodded, thinking that right now she was feeling too emotional to drive anyway. Thankfully she still had the hair tie so she could pull her hair back in a ponytail.

“Um, Ryan? This isn't the way to my apartment,” she said when he turned left instead of right.

“I know, but I have something I'd like to show you.”

The smile on his face dazzled her. He looked so different from the aloof physician she'd first met when she'd moved here six months ago.

When he turned on Rosewood, she recognized the Cape Cod. “It's adorable,” she said. “Are you thinking of buying it?”

He shrugged and glanced at her. “That depends on you.”

“Me?” Her heart leaped into her throat.

“Yes, you. I'll give you all the time you need to believe how much I love you, but I refuse to buy a house you don't like. So whether or not I buy this house depends on you.”

Cassie unbuckled her seat belt and threw herself into his arms. “Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, I like this house. But I love you more.”

This time their sizzling kiss wasn't easy to break off. “We need to get to your place,” he muttered. “As soon as possible.”

She couldn't help giggling as she buckled herself back in. Thankfully Cedar Bluff wasn't too big a town and they reached her apartment building in a few minutes.

And when Ryan tugged her toward the bedroom, she gladly followed him.

Cassie wanted nothing more than to spend the day in bed with Ryan, but when her phone rang for the third time, she decided she'd better answer it.

“Where are you going?” Ryan asked in a husky, sated tone, capturing her hand in his.

She smiled at him, still amazed at the fact that he loved her. And had gone to great lengths to prove it over the past two hours. “I need to get the phone, that's the third time it's gone off.”

“I didn't hear it,” he admitted, with a sexy
smile. “I was too busy kissing every inch of your delectable body.”

The urge to forget the stupid phone to crawl back next to him was strong, but she couldn't quite ignore the niggling worry. She dropped a quick kiss on his mouth. “I'll be right back,” she promised.

“All right.”

She felt self-conscious parading around naked, so she grabbed his T-shirt off the floor and pulled it over her head, grateful it was long enough to cover her bare bottom. She remembered leaving her phone on the kitchen counter and when she picked it up her heart leapt into her throat when she saw five missed calls from Lydia.

Five? She'd only heard it ring three times!

She quickly pushed the button to return the call, practically holding her breath. The older woman picked up on the second ring. “Hello?”

“Lydia, it's me, Cassie. I'm sorry I missed your calls. What's wrong? Are you okay? Did something happen to Emma?”

“Oh, Cassie, I'm so glad you returned my call. I wanted to tell you the news myself.”

She frowned, trying to clear her sex-fogged mind. “What news?” Ryan appeared at her
side wearing nothing but his boxers, looking so sexy, she momentarily forgot who she was talking to. Oh, yes, Lydia. She forced herself to peel her gaze away from Ryan and to focus on the call.

“I've talked to Avery and both she and her boyfriend are going to sign off on their parental rights to Emma.”

Cassie knew that signing away parental rights meant that the adoption process would go faster, but obviously Lydia didn't know that she wasn't going to be able to foster Emma after all.

“That's great news, Lydia,” she said, trying to inject enthusiasm in her tone. “I'm sure Emma's foster parents will be thrilled.”

“What do you mean?” Lydia asked. “I thought you were fostering Emma?”

“I was, but—” She stopped, looking up at Ryan, who'd joined her. “I might not be able to get everything finished in time.”

“Are you sure?” The disappointed note in Lydia's voice stabbed deep. “I was feeling so much better knowing that Emma was going to be living with you.”

“And I want Emma, too. All I can promise is to do my best. But are you sure Avery and
her boyfriend are really okay with this? After all, everyone deserves a second chance.”

“Absolutely sure,” Lydia assured her. “Avery knows that she has a long road ahead of her and is willing to go into rehab. Her boyfriend has agreed to go, too. And, honestly, she just wants the baby to go to a good home. And we'd like that to be with you.”

“I'll try,” Cassie said with a misty smile. “Goodbye, Lydia.”

“We'll do more than try,” Ryan said firmly, when she set her phone aside. “We'll do everything possible to get custody of Emma.”

“Really?” Cassie's gaze was full of hope.

“Yes, really.” Ryan's grin lit up his entire face and he picked her up so that her feet weren't even on the floor, twirling around until they were both dizzy, whispering into her ear how much he loved her.

“I love you, too,” she managed.

“God, Cassie, just thinking of the possibility of adopting Emma is like a miracle,” he said in awe. “Maybe together we can make this work.”

“I know.” She gazed up at Ryan, her heart melting at the moisture in the corners of his eyes. “Your love is my miracle, too, Ryan. I
don't need extra time. I know how much I love you.”

“And I love you, Cassandra.” He cupped her face in his hands and gently kissed her. “Will you please marry me?”

“Yes, I'd love to marry you,” she managed, before he kissed her again.

They ended up back in her bedroom, giggling and laughing as they made love. When they'd finished, she gathered the last remnants of energy to prop herself on her elbow, so she could gaze down at Ryan. “So, how about you take me over to see the inside of that house you picked out for us?”

A shadow crossed his features. “If you don't like it, we can choose something else.”

“Don't be silly,” she admonished him. “I already love the neighborhood, remember? And I really love the fact that it's located so close to the park. Besides, if you like the place, I'm sure I will, too. The house is just a structure, but it's the people inside that make it a home.”

“I'm the luckiest man in the world. You've filled the void in my life, Cassie,” he said huskily. “With love and with laughter.”

“Always,” she promised, knowing that he'd returned the favor tenfold. With Ryan
and whatever children they were fortunate enough to have, she was thrilled to have the love of a good man and the family she'd always wanted.

Ten months later…

C
ASSIE WATCHED
R
YAN
pushing Emma in the baby swing at the park, basking in the sound of the little girl's giggles. After Emma's initial struggles she had grown by leaps and bounds beneath their loving care. Emma was a little delayed at first, but she was coming along every day. And they were both happy that Aunt Lydia remained a part of the baby's life.

Emma was already calling Lydia “Nanna.” And if all went well, their adoption of the little girl would be complete by the end of the month.

Cassie put a protective hand over her swollen belly, loving the feel of the baby moving around inside her. She and Ryan had been doubly blessed, first, having been able to adopt Emma and, second, when she'd
successfully gone through the recommended surgery and had become pregnant.

“Are you all right?” Ryan asked in concern. He took Emma out of her swing and crossed over to her.

“I'm fine. Our baby is just a bit active today,” she assured him, taking Emma into her arms. “Did you have fun with Daddy?” she asked.

“Dada,” Emma agreed. The she nestled against Cassie. “Mama.”

Hearing Emma speak was a huge blessing and she couldn't help tears gathering in her eyes. Then again, it could be the fact that her hormones were a bit out of control.

“I love you, too, sweetpea,” she said, pressing a kiss to Emma's plump cheek.

“Maybe you should go home to rest,” Ryan said, worry creasing his brow. Ever since she'd told him she was expecting, he'd become more protective than a papa bear.

Not that she blamed him. At first they'd both feared another miscarriage, but now that she was just past twenty weeks she was breathing easier. And she reveled in Ryan's love and attention.

Ryan held her close every single night that he wasn't working, reassuring her that, no
matter what happened, he still loved her. And he often talked to her belly, telling the baby how much they loved him or her, and how much they wanted him or her to grow healthy and strong.