Wanting You (4 page)

“I got it,” he said with a smirk.

“I’m fucking serious. You give one free drink out and you’re cut off. Got it?” The last two nights Z decided to get the girls he was with—and their friends—totally liquored up. I was all for having a good time, but shit, this was a business.

“I said I got it.” He grinned.

“Fucker,” I mumbled under my breath.

“Hey, get this shit.” Z started taking a pull from the beer Ace sat in front of him. “Remember that chick with the wheezing shit I told you about.” I nodded. “She came by the station house trying to hook up. Taking my break early, I get her the hell out of there quickly and get to business. On her knees, she starts the wheezing again, like she can’t breathe. I tried to pull out, cause of the nice guy I am …” He smirked. “But she continues. I don’t know whether to give her CPR or ride it out. I, of course, rode it out.”

“You need to stop hooking up with the randoms. Get yourself a couple of Carries and Mindys. That’s what they’re for.”

“Yeah. Like that’s all you get some from.” He grunted.

Ignoring his jab, I continued, “And speaking of …” I saw Mindy walk in through the door, making a beeline straight for me.

“Hey sweetheart,” I whispered as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

“Don’t
sweetheart
me. You ready to do this?” Her eyes screamed sultry, and I knew she was ready.

“Nah. Got head already.”

Disappointment etched on Mindy’s face, she asked, “Why didn’t you wait?”

“I’m not into this whole territorial bullshit, and you know that. She offered, I was in the mood, I got off.” I pulled away, not wanting to deal with this drama. See, I was right, time to change up the any-timers.

“Whatever. You’re mine after the show.” She smirked.

“Sure. Why not.”

“You know how to make a girl feel wanted,” she snarled and strode away. I thought tonight might be the night to cut that bitch free.

Striding through the bar, I was stopped several times to chat from the old-timers, regulars, and of course, several women. I heard stories all the time of my endeavors—women loved to talk. They were all the same, and if one couldn’t handle only getting a one-night fuck, there was always another to take her spot.

Hearing Z’s low whistle caught my attention. “Look over there.” Z pointed to three women across the floor. Two of them I knew right off the bat—Sawyer and Kinsley. They were smoking hot in their tight-ass clothes, but they were never on my radar. They were relationship girls, not my style.

The third woman from the back had an ass that screamed ‘grab me.’ Her blonde hair was some of the longest I’d ever seen, and I loved the way it flowed down her back to her ass. Her legs were toned and firm. Now, if I could just see the face.

“Let’s go say hi.” Z slapped me on the back.

“Sure,” I said, taking off toward them. The crowd to the women was thick, but they easily moved out of my way. Both Sawyer and Kinsley’s eyes grew wide when they saw me approach.

“Hey ladies, how are we tonight?” I expected the third woman to turn and look, but she didn’t. Her body went from relaxed to rigid. Then she darted off for the bathroom. What the fuck?

“Hey Deke,” Kinsley said, watching her friend walk through the swarm of people.

“Hey. Who’s your friend?” No need to drag it out.

“A friend from out of town.” Kinsley’s voice cracked as she talked.

“I’m gonna go make sure she’s okay.” Sawyer turned and went the same direction the mystery girl had head.

“What the hell, Deke? You got em’ running already.” I didn’t find Z’s joke funny. I wanted to know who the hell this woman was. She sure as shit couldn’t be shy, wearing a skirt that showed off her delicious ass like that.

Racing to the bathroom, I needed to catch my breath. I didn’t know what the hell happened, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t turn and look him in the eyes. I didn’t even know what I was to him, after all. Did he hate me?

Damn. When the hell did I get so insecure? This was so not me. But this was Deke. I actually felt him before he even walked up behind me. There was something about his presence that sucked the air out of the room. When he approached, I could smell the aroma of wood, musk, and leather; his cologne did wicked things to my body, causing it to heat beyond what I thought possible.

I needed to get out.

Not two seconds after I got there, Sawyer came busting through the bathroom doors. “What’s wrong?” She reached over and grabbed my arms.

“Just a small panic attack, but I’m getting better,” I panted out as if I’d just run a marathon.

“We don’t have to do this. We can go home.” Sawyer’s reassuring voice helped soothe me. But I didn’t come all this way to avoid him. I needed to set my eyes on him. I just needed to find the courage to do so.

“No, I’m going to pull my head out of my ass, and we are going to have fun. I just need a drink.” Smiling, I grabbed Sawyer’s hand and led her back out into the mass of people. Looking around, I saw Kinsley was now all by herself at the edge of the bar. Saddling up next to her, I yelled, “Shots!”

Signaling the bartender, he came right away. “What can I getcha?” This guy was hot.
Smoking hot
—built arms, tattoos sneaking out from under his sleeve, his head shaved close to the scalp—his looks formed a dangerous combination. He would be a fantastic muse for my next book. I bet he gets laid every night.

“Tequila. 6 shots.” I winked at him.

“Comin’ right up, darlin’.” His Southern accent was to die for. Turning back to the girls, they were lost in some conversation about guys out on the dance floor. My mind was only on one man and knowing he was here and not seeing him was messing with my mind.

“Here ya go.” Mr. Hottie-tender placed the six shots in a long row.

“Can you run me a tab?” I smiled.

“You got it. I’m Ace, by the way.” He held out his hand to shake mine. His engulfed mine, making it feel smaller than ever before.

“I’m Vann.” The startled look on his face told me he didn’t get it. “Like, as in Savannah, but I go by Vann.”

Recognition must have dawned on him, and his drop-dead smirk came out. “Come by and see me, Vann.”

“Will do.” I winked again. “All right girls!” I yelled, smacking the bar. “On the count of three, we shoot both back-to-back, got it?”

“Let’s do this!” Kinsley was always up for drinking games.

“I’m in,” Sawyer answered.

“One … two … three.” The cool liquid flowed down my throat; it’s fire burning its path. First one down … second one down. Slamming the glass down, I ordered one more round. I needed that liquid courage tonight.

“Let’s hit the dance floor!” Kinsley yelled above the music, and it was exactly what I wanted to do.

Watching from afar, I couldn’t keep my eyes off the voluptuous woman dancing. She could move, and she was. The swaying and grinding she was doing with Sawyer and Kinsley had caught the attention of every man in this bar. I’d bet money all their dicks were as hard as mine at the moment. But I needed to chill the hell out. I was due on stage in five minutes. But I couldn’t help but want to throw the floodlights on in this place so I could see her damn face. It was too dark in here.

“Deke, let’s go!” Braden called from the side of the stage. Tearing my eyes away from the view, I headed backstage to prep my guitar. Already there was Xavier, Maddox, and Braden.

“You ready?” I asked, strolling by.

“Yep. Let’s do this.” Xavier yelled out.

I could hear Ace’s voice coming from behind the bar. “All right ladies and gentleman, you’ve been waiting all night for them. Here is … Beyond Escape!”

On cue, we all took our places on stage: Xavier behind the mic; Maddox on drums; Braden on bass; with me behind my guitar. Tuning out Xavier and his normal, pump-up-the-crowd bullshit, I scanned our audience. No sign of the little vixen.

Playing was such a rush. I was on top of the world up here and nothing could bring me down. I played my ass off, strumming the cords to the perfect beat. Playing since I was a kid, I only got back into it about five years ago—it was my only release. That was how our band got started. We weren’t big time by any means, but we did have a following.

Something shiny caught the corner of my eye, and turning, I see Sawyer, Kinsley, and the other woman dancing for us. The woman who I don’t recognize was wearing a top that sparkled in the lights; it was also tight as shit.

She was shaking her ass and her tits were bouncing all over, totally giving me a raging hard-on. Her eyes were closed, but she expertly mouthed the words to the music, not uncommon when we played covers. The only difference between her and others doing this was her plump lips were begging for me.

The lights flashing in my face were making it difficult to make her out. Fuck this. I needed to see who she was. Before I took my guitar off, Xavier thanked the crowd and the lights went down.

Hopping off the stage, I was immediately swarmed by women, which happened every time we wrapped up. Pushing the bitches off, I headed directly to the three women I wanted to talk to. Her fucking back was to me again.

“Hey, like the show?” My breathing was like I ran a fucking race.

Slowly, the woman turned around. Her long blonde hair draped down her arm, and fuck me she was beautiful. She had lips that I would kill to have wrapped around my dick.

Staring into her eyes, they were a beautiful blue-gray color. There was only one other person who I have ever seen with a similar eye color. The air instantly left my body as recognition hit, like bricks falling from the sky and landing on my chest.
Fucking Vann
.

“Vann?”

“Hey Deke. How are ya?” Her voice was exactly the same as all those years ago. Damn it. Why in the hell was she back here? She couldn’t be here. Thoughts of the last five years began to pull me in. I needed to get a grip. There was no way she was sucking me in. No fucking way.

Without another word, I did what I’d wanted to do for the last five years. Reaching my hand behind her head, I pulled her to me. Our bodies flush, Vann’s eyes were glazing over, and I knew she was affected.
Good
.

My lips slammed down on to hers—taking everything I possibly could out of her in that moment. She was hesitant, her lips not immediately joining in, but fuck that. I kept at it until she melted into me, clutching my shirt as if she needed an anchor to hold her in place.

I just kept pulling from her. I wanted to suck five years of missed kisses, time, and everything I lost the day she left, out of her. The kiss wasn’t sensual or loving. I was brutal, demanding, and I couldn’t help the anger that spilled from me.

I needed to get this out of the way. Pulling back, I looked into Vann’s slowly opening eyes, and said, “Goodbye Vann.” I then walked straight to my office, slamming and locking the door.

“FUCK!” I wanted to punch something, beat the shit out of something.
Now
. Why the hell did she come back here after all these fucking years? Why? There was no need for her to be here. And in
my
bar, no less.

A sudden banging on the door pulled my attention from my internal meltdown.

“Go the fuck away!” I yelled at the door.

“Deke, it’s Z. Let me in.”

“No,” I growled.

“What the fuck, dude?”

“Go get some ass. Leave me alone,” I barked.

“Let me the fuck in.” His voice was now irritated.

Stomping to the door, I threw it open. “What? And you’re not coming in.”

“What the hell happened out there? That chick you kissed left in tears.” A flash of sadness went through me, but I instantly shook it off. Fuck her, she deserved to cry.

I stared at him. “That was Vann, Z.”

“Oh. Shit.” The instant recognition in Z’s face showed me he knew who I meant.

“Yeah.
Oh shit
. Go away before I pound your fucking head in.”

“I need a drink.” Z turned and left me to myself.

“Me too,” I muttered to no one, slamming the door. Rummaging through my drawers, I found a bottle of tequila and began to drink … and drink … and drink. Fuck it.

The last time I saw Vann, we had sex by the docks. She was the only person I could talk to about the tangled mess that was my life. The next day, I get a fucking Dear John letter about how her mom was making her leave and how she was ‘so sorry.’ Fuck that. She had a choice.

Her Grams lived here this entire time. There was no fucking reason she couldn’t have stayed with her. She didn’t even like her mother, but yet went along with her and left me the fuck here. Alone.

Fuck Her. I slugged back more tequila in an attempt to clear my mind of Vann.

Waking up, my eyes felt heavy, and it was difficult to open them. I knew it had to be from the load of tears I’d shed the night before. The memories from the previous night flooded me, and the tears began to fall again.

Deke had kissed me goodbye. The significance of this was more than I could bear. He didn’t get to five years ago, and this was his way of finally shutting the door. I should have known he’d be pissed. I just didn’t expect to see him this hurt.

The first six months living with Aunt Tennie in California were terrible. I couldn’t eat or sleep, and I had no friends. No one. I was totally alone. My mom and aunt were either drunk or high and did nothing except occasionally give me money to get food because they had the munchies. I kept thinking it would get better, but I was dead wrong.

I missed Deke and my friends, but my mom kept telling me Deke would have moved on soon after we left and crying over some man was pathetic. A guy like him wouldn’t wait around.

I called Sawyer and Kinsley constantly, but my calls to Deke were never returned. I didn’t give up, but nothing ever came from any of my efforts. I was beyond hurt he didn’t answer—I was crushed. I just assumed my mom was right—I never meant anything to him.