War Torn (8 page)

My body is slowly burning up. Tucker isn’t fucking me like we sometimes have a tendency to do. He’s loving me. And I’m sure that’s exactly what he needs right now, but he is setting me on fire in the process. He shifts slightly behind me, and on his next thrust in, he hits my prostate. I cry out and beg for more. Tucker is more than happy to oblige. His hand squeezes me tighter and picks up the pace, as do his hips. I reach my hand up to clasp the back of his neck as his hot panting breaths fan across my cheek.

“Denny,” he breathes.

I moan as my orgasm rips through me. I open my mouth in a silent scream as my cock pulses in Tucker’s hand. He keeps stroking me as he pounds into me harder, looking for his own release. I shudder and twitch in his arms, my hole pulsing around him. He groans and shoves into me hard one last time. He bites my shoulder and pushes in a little deeper. I can feel his abs convulsing against my back as he comes inside of me.

Tucker drops his forehead to my shoulder, his heavy breaths tickling my back. After a minute of recouping, we separate, both of us rolling onto our backs. Tucker tosses an arm over his eyes as he tries to catch his breath. I take the opportunity to ogle him while he’s not looking. He’s lost a little bit of muscle mass since he hasn’t been able to do his usual lifting, but he’s still ripped. I can’t resist drifting my fingers over his washboard abs. They bunch under my fingers. Tucker slaps his free hand over mine and chuckles.

“Stop that, you’re tickling me.”

I roll onto my side to face him and scooch closer. I wrap my arm around his waist and drop my chin to his shoulder.

“I love you,” I murmur.

He removes his arm from over his eyes and turns his head so that he can meet my gaze.

“I love you, too.”

He leans in for a soft kiss before pulling away and sitting up. He glances over his shoulder at me.

“How did it go at the prosthetist?”

“Good. Lizette is forcing me to get the best one there is,” I scoff.

Tucker grins. “Good.”

I sneer at him, which makes him snicker. We get cleaned up then crawl back into bed, where I wrap Tucker up in my arms and we both fall asleep for the night.

~ Chapter Eleven ~

~ Tucker ~

The next evening, after work, I meet up with Rhys near the hospital to grab some dinner before we go and see our mom. Rhys got into New York late last night, and I was able to see him for a few minutes before I left the hospital to go home. So we want to spend some one on one time while we can. We find a restaurant and get seated by the hostess. It’s a nice little Italian place.

“So how is Dennis? Dad said he was in a car accident?” Rhys asks as he peruses the menu.

“He’s okay. He needs more help with things than usual.”

Rhys eyes me over his menu. “With things like what?”

Shit, this is not where I meant for this conversation to go.

“Showering is the hardest thing for him to do right now…”

“Dude, don’t tell me you are in there washing his balls because I swear to god, I will disown you.” He laughs.

My stomach rolls. Well, that’s not a good sign for how he will react to our relationship, now is it? I let out a tight laugh in hopes that he won’t catch on to how much his comment affects me. How much it actually hurts me. I think I better change the subject, and fast.

“Did you see anything good?” I ask, turning my gaze toward the menu in front of me.

Rhys is easily distracted and mentions a couple of dishes that sound good to him. I’m only half listening because all I can think about is what he said. He’ll disown me. I know he was joking in part, but this isn’t the first homophobic remark my brother has made. He’s made it clear on a few occasions that he finds it disgusting and wrong. What am I going to do? I can’t hide my relationship with Dennis from him and my dad forever. But it sure as hell looks like I’ll lose them if they find out.

“Hey, you alright over there? You’re staring off into space,” Rhys says, bringing me back from my thoughts.

“Uh…yeah, I was just thinking about mom,” I lie.

He sighs heavily and rakes a hand through his dark hair. “I feel worse about dad and how he’s going to handle it. For me, she’s been gone for years.”

I nod. “I understand and I agree. He’s not taking it well already.”

“Maybe I can get him to come stay with Selene, Max, and me for a little while after mom goes,” he suggests.

“That’s a great idea…if he’ll agree.”

Rhys grunts in agreement. We’re interrupted by the waiter who takes our drink order. Once he walks away, Rhys and I go on to talk about my little man, Max, and how big he’s getting. A loud crash sounds; most likely someone dropping something in the kitchen, but in my mind, it’s a bomb. The sights and sounds of the restaurant fade out. I blink and all I can see is sand and smoke. I hit the ground, taking cover for the next blast that I know is bound to come. I glance around. Where the fuck is Duke, that bastard? He always wanders off at the worst times!

My heart is pounding as I curl up and cover my head as best as I can. Where the hell is my helmet? I must have lost it after that first blast. I hear a voice next to me, a familiar voice, but a voice that is definitely out of place. My brother is not in Iraq with me.

I blink up into his concerned blue eyes. “Tucker, are you okay?” he asks from where he is squatting next to me.

Iraq begins to fade away, and the restaurant we’re in comes back. I’m on the floor, curled on my side, my hands covering my head. Everything and everyone in the restaurant has stopped and is staring at me.

“Tucker?” Rhys asks again.

I slowly uncurl myself and push up into a sitting position. I glance around at all of the concerned and uncertain faces.

“What just happened?” Rhys asks gently, holding out his hand to help me up.

“The…uh…whatever crashed…sent me back,” I mutter as I let him help me up.

“A flashback?” he asks, dumbfounded.

“Yeah, I started getting them when I got my hearing back,” I explain quickly. “I need some air,” I croak and head for the door instead of sitting back down at the table.

I push through the door and stumble out onto the sidewalk, covering my face with shaky hands. Jesus Christ, I can’t believe that just happened in public. It’s one thing to happen in Duke’s kitchen, but it’s a completely different thing to happen in public with my brother, who has no idea what I’ve been through. I take a few deep breaths, hoping to calm my racing heart.

Someone clears their throat behind me. I whip around to see an older man, probably in his early 70s, standing behind me, his gray eyes shimmering with understanding. He gives me a small smile.

“You alright, son?” he asks gently.

I pull in a shaky breath and swallow hard. “I…I think so.”

“Everyone is concerned about you.”

A bitter laugh escapes me before I can stop it. “Yeah, they probably think I’ve lost my mind.”

He shakes his head. “The man you are with explained that you’re a veteran.”

I nod. “I am. That crash in the kitchen sent me into a flashback.”

“I completely understand. Captain Charles DuPree,” he introduces, holding his hand out to me.

“Gunnery Sergeant Tucker McCoy,” I reply with a smirk as I shake his hand.

“Good to meet you,” Charles says with a smile.

“You, too, sir.”

“Don’t give me that ‘sir’ crap,” he snorts and waves a dismissive hand.

I chuckle.

“Come on, let’s go back inside and eat,” Charles says and puts his hand on my shoulder.

I hesitate. “I don’t know if I can go back in there. That was really embarrassing.”

“You were at war. You’ve seen and done things nobody in that place is capable of. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.”

I reluctantly let Charles - the symbolism of him having the same name as the friend that saved my life is not lost on me - lead me back into the restaurant. I’m met with a standing ovation, claps on the back, and handshakes, as I walk back to my table. I’m stunned and humbled. And when I sit back down at my table with my brother, I’m fighting back tears. Charles gives my shoulder a squeeze before returning to his table with his wife.

The manager of the restaurant approaches our table with a soft smile on her face. “Sir, we want to thank you for your service to our country, so your meal is on the house.”

I give her a watery smile. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

With a smile and a nod, she walks away. I look across the table at my brother. He’s watching me, his eyes rimmed with tears.

“I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through to make you have flashbacks like that,” he murmurs.

“And you will never know,” I whisper.

“You still won’t tell me?” He frowns.

I shake my head. “You don’t want to know, believe me.”

“I want to understand, though, Tucker.”

I give him a tender smile. “Rhys, no offense, but you will
never
be able to understand, whether you know my stories or not.”

I can tell Rhys wants to argue but he decides against it. Our waiter returns and takes our order. Halfway through our meal, Charles and his wife stop by our table to say goodbye to me. Then once Rhys and I are finished and assured that the cost is taken care of, we make our way to the hospital to visit with our mom.

After visiting with her and my dad for a while, I head home. I’m exhausted. Utterly drained by the time I walk through the door. Duke is sprawled out on the couch, his back resting against the arm as he writes in his journal. Duke has always kept a journal, even in Iraq. He writes in it every night. He glances up when he hears me come in.

“Hey, bud. How’s it hangin’?” he says in greeting.

“It was a horrendous day,” I grumble and flop down on the other couch.

He frowns. “What happened?”

“You mean besides visiting my dying mother in the hospital?” I huff.

“Yeah, besides that.”

I roughly scrub my face before looking around. “Where’s Dennis?”

“Folding clothes in your bedroom. Now talk to me.”

“I had another flashback. This time I was in a restaurant with Rhys.”

“Shit,” he hisses.

“Exactly.”

“What did you do?”

“Took cover under the table when they dropped something in the kitchen that crashed,” I reply dryly.

“Damn.”

“Yeah, I was mortified to say the least. I ran outside and an older man followed me out. Want to know what his name was?”

Duke tilts his head in curiosity. “What?”

“Charles.”

A slow smile curls his lips. “No shit?”

“Yeah, he’s also a Marine. Captain Charles DuPree. He talked me into going back inside, where I got a standing ovation and a free meal.”

“Well, that's a coincidence. Someone must be looking out for you.” Duke grins, pointing toward the ceiling.

I smile. I have to agree. I think Chuck definitely had a part in what happened today.

“Have you told your therapist about the flashbacks?” Duke asks.

I groan. “I haven’t gone in about a month.”

“What? Come on, man! You need to go. Especially now that you got your hearing back,” Duke urges.

“I will call tomorrow, I swear.”

“You better,” he grunts, pointing his pen at me.

I shove to my feet. “I’m going to go see Dennis.”

“Okay, but if you’re going to fuck can you
please
keep it down? My ears bled last night because of you two.”

I bark out a laugh as I make my way down the hallway. “No promises.”

I hear him grumble as I open the door to the bedroom and walk inside, closing the door behind me.

~ Dennis ~

I glance up as Tucker walks into the bedroom, stupid grin on his face.

I smile. “What’s so funny?”

“Duke said we made his ears bleed last night.”

I laugh and shake my head.

I watch as Tucker starts to undress. I’m sitting on the bed, folding the last of my laundry, and putting it into designated piles.

“So, how was dinner with your brother?” I ask.

Tucker frowns hard, his brows furrowing. He stays silent for a moment as he unbuttons his dress shirt, and I’m not sure if he’s going to answer me or not. That’s not a good sign. What the hell happened at dinner?

“I had another flashback. Curled up under the table when something crashed in the kitchen.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, that’s what Duke said, too,” he muses.

“Are you okay?”

“I am now.” He shrugs.

After a few minutes of silence and Tucker undressing, he finally looks at me, his eyes troubled.

“Rhys said something to me tonight.”

“Okay?” I reply hesitantly.

“He asked how you were doing and I told him how you need more help than normal. He asked what I meant and I told him like in the shower. It just slipped out and it really was totally innocent, but what he said next has really been eating at me.”

I nod and wait. I can see that Tucker is struggling with how to say it. He won’t even look at me. Shit, this must be bad.

“Just repeat what he said.”

He sighs heavily. “He said, ‘Dude, don’t tell me you are in there washing his balls because I swear to god, I will disown you.’”

I suck in a sharp breath at the harsh words.

“He was laughing when he said it, but I know he meant it.”

“Really? Do you really think he would disown you for being with a guy?”

Tucker shakes his head. “I don’t know. He’s said other homophobic things over the years. I’ve never had to worry about them before so I just ignored them.”

Fuck. This leaves us in a very shitty spot.

“I don’t even know what to say,” I whisper.

Tucker snorts. “Other than the fact that neither he nor my dad can know about us, I don’t know what else to say either.”

“But what if they start questioning why you never have a girlfriend, or if you’re ever going to get married…” I start but Tucker cuts me off.

“I can’t think about that right now, Denny,” he blurts, cutting me off.

Jesus, this could be so bad for us. What if they find out and ask him to choose, them or me? Who will Tucker choose? I doubt it would be me. They’re his fucking family. But then again, he’s in love with me. Could he really give me up that easily? My heart says no. But my mind - that fucking bastard - thinks he would give me up in a heartbeat if his family asked him to. Or maybe that’s just my own insecurities talking.

Tucker rakes a hand through his dark hair, messing it up more than it already is. “We just…we have to keep us a secret from them at least until all of this shit with my mother is done and over with. My dad doesn’t need any more stress right now.”

“Whatever you want, love. I’ll do whatever you want.”

I hold out my hand to him. Tucker takes it without hesitation and lets me pull him into me. I reach up and grab the back of his neck, pulling him in for a tender kiss. He pulls away from the kiss and drops his forehead to mine.