Warm Winter Love (16 page)
Authors: Constance Walker
“Sam,” she murmured, drawing out the word so that no others were necessary to tell him her feelings. She searched his face for the lines of laughter that she had noticed and liked immediately when she met him at Cedar Crest. The creases were still there, but they were deeper now and she wondered if they were caused by sadness.
She watched his eyes as they caressed her and she swallowed hard as his hands reached out, first to touch her arm gently and then to pull her cautiously to him.
“Sam.” She could only repeat his name, numbed by the surprise of seeing him. “Sam.” She had wished for this for weeks and now that he was here, all she could do was to stand helplessly, trying to think of the right words to say.
“I’ve been waiting for almost the whole afternoon,” he said, and then opened the elevator door. “I even know where you live and who lives in the building.” He smiled at her and she felt as though sunshine had flooded the lobby. “I’ve met the nicest people while waiting for you.”
Inside the elevator, she could only shake her head and marvel at his being there, and continue to speak his name.
“Say something else,” he urged. “Say something like, ‘Sam, it’s good to see you. I’m glad you’re here.’ Say anything.”
“Sam, it’s good to see you. I’m glad you’re here,” she said, and they both laughed. “I kept thinking that we hardly said anything on the phone.”
“We said enough.” He gestured her to precede him from the elevator. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yes,” she said as they crossed the corridor to her door. “Come in.”
He laughed the deep booming laugh she remembered from Cedar Crest. “Katie- Katie, you don’t think I came all the way here just to stand in halls, do you?” He closed the door behind him and looked at her. “You look great,” he said, and she could only stand there mute, watching him, remembering his every gesture. This was what she had wanted since coming home and now she was dumbstruck.
“Well,” he said, putting his coat on the couch. “Aren’t you going to say something?”
She took a deep breath. “You’ve sort of taken me by surprise. I didn’t expect you.”
“I told you I’d be here.” He looked at her and suddenly his eyes clouded. “I couldn’t forget you, Katie. And I didn’t want to. It was as though a part of my life was left behind at Cedar Crest, somewhere on the ski slopes, left there with the cold and the snow and the winter. I couldn’t forget you, not in Italy or Switzerland or any of the other places where I was. Everything reminded me of you.” He held up his hand to stop her from saying anything. “You and I have got to talk. We’ve got to come to some resolutions and it has to be that we’re going to be together, whether it’s physically or emotionally, and no matter whether we’re in the same place or not.”
As he touched her shoulder and buried his head in her hair, she remembered once again the days and nights at the Crest. “I can’t let you go, Katie-Katie,” he said. “I think that it would be a terrible mistake for both of us.”
“You get only one chance,” she mumbled.
“What?”
“Someone once told me that you get only one really glorious chance at love.”
“That’s absolutely true.” As he kissed her lips, she remembered the rushing of the wind on the mountain slopes.
“Sam.”
“There you go again with my name.” He kissed her once more and then guided her to the couch. “Talk to me, Katie. Tell me you love me, that we can work it out.”
She swallowed hard so that her voice would be heard: “If I talk to you right this minute, then I’m not going to be able to think clearly and I’ll agree to anything.”
“Good.” He took her hands. “Then it will only take me a few minutes to convince you that we should just go ahead and get married.”
She held up her hand. “Wait, Sam, wait. It’s not that easy. There are problems. . . .”
He shook his head and kissed her again. “I don’t see any.”
“That’s because you don’t want to.” He nuzzled her neck and she tried to move away. “Please don’t. Let’s talk.”
“That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do.” He grinned at her, and she saw the marvelous glow in his eyes and again she was reminded of the Crest.
“Oh, Sam. Don’t do this to me.” She got up and sat in the chair opposite him. “You’re right, I do love you.” She saw him smile at her. “You knew that, didn’t you? You knew I fell in love with you almost right away.” How could she help it, she thought, especially when he looked at her with the uneven smile that made her heart want to grow bigger so that she had more love to give him.
“And I love you.” He held out his hands. “That’s the only thing that matters,” he said. She looked around at the apartment. “But this is my life. I’m a teacher. I love my job. And I’m not as adventuresome as you. I told you that before.”
He got up, walked around the room, and saw the photo of them. “I wondered if you ever looked at it,” he said. He picked up the picture and then put it down again.
“Yes, of course I do.”
“I love you, Katie.” He said it again and she felt powerless. “Marry me, Katie.” Just the way he said it made her want to believe that everything could be worked out.
“I have a job that I like.”
“You can keep it. Or you can work in another place.” He kissed her cheek. “Teachers are always needed.”
“I don’t really want to leave. This is my home.”
“You don’t have to for now. But later, Katie, we can have all those things you want. The house and even the flowers in the garden or a home in the mountains where we can ski anytime we want. Anything, Katie, anything you want.” His lips moved to the tip of her nose and he kissed it and then continued on to her lips. “What else?”
“I want a husband to be here with me always.”
He pulled his head back and looked at her with somber eyes. “That I can’t promise, Katie. At least not for now.”
“My mother and father. . . .” She looked up at the ceiling so that she wouldn’t have to see his wonderful face, the face that could convince her to do almost anything.
“Maybe it was more than just the traveling. Maybe their love wasn’t strong enough to survive the times they were apart.” It was the same thing that Irene had said to her. “Ours will be.” He looked at her with probing eyes. “Can’t you make a few changes, Katie?”
“Some things, yes. But Sam, I don’t want phone calls and postcards from every part of the world to remind me that I have a husband. I want you.” Why not tell him the truth? She looked at him. He had come from so far to see her. Why couldn’t there be a solution?
He paced the floor and then stopped. “It’s all I can offer you right now, that and my love, my always faithful love no matter where I am.” He picked up a music box. “Reminds me of when we met.” She nodded and said nothing, distracted by the scattered tinkling from the box. She couldn’t lose him now that she knew how much she loved him.
He resumed his pacing. Finally he stopped, sat down on the edge of the couch, and drummed his fingers on the arm.
“Can’t we both compromise?” he asked, and she watched him through misty eyes. “Suppose I ask for a transfer in about six months and then stay closer to home? Maybe travel only on the East Coast, so that you can see me on weekends and some weekdays.”
“And my birthdays?” she asked in a half whisper, startled to realize that finally there could be agreement.
“And your birthdays and my birthdays.” He stroked her hair, pushing it back from her face. “And maybe Washington’s Birthday and Valentine’s Day and all the other important holidays.” His fingers soothed her cheek and moved slowly across her face to her mouth until they covered her lips. “What would you say to that?” he asked her.
There was nothing for her to say. Instead, she kissed his fingers. Six months wouldn’t be too long to wait. By then it would be time to return to Cedar Crest.
“We can make it, Katie-Katie.” He put his hands on her cheeks so that she had to look at him and she saw that his eyes had become bright again. “Look at me, Katie,” he said, and then laughed. “What you see is what you get.”
“Oh, Sam!” she cried out, and then clung to him. He was the joy of her life . . . her one glorious love. Six months would be over quickly.
She held him tightly and kissed him. Next year, she knew, she would conquer Devil’s Mist. Next year she and Sam would ski the mountain together.
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