Warrior's Moon (10 page)

“Caelis?” she asked again.

The wolf’s head nodded up and down.

“But how? This is not possible.” She knew it was not.

No matter how her eyes deceived her, men did not transform themselves into wolves.

A more practical woman than most, Shona did not believe in faeries, or magic, or any such. How could she accept the evidence of her eyes?

The wolf moved closer, sniffing the air, a happy-sounding rumble coming from his chest.

“Don’t…don’t come any closer.”

The wolf whined again, moving back and then forward again, as if it could not help itself.

“What?” she demanded. “What do you want?”

He took a step closer and she remembered how the stable master had told her to behave with the dogs on her dead husband’s estates.

Shona put her hand out, her arm trembling.

The wolf stretched forward, first sniffing at her hand and then licking it.

“Oh.” It was not so terrible, though it was strange to have a wild animal that could tear her apart with its claws and teeth so gently caressing her hand with its snout.

The beast came closer so that she was crowded against the wall and pressed its body to her.

She stared down at him. “I am not going anywhere. You do not need to sit on me.”

But the animal ignored her words, rubbing against her with its sides, nuzzling at her with its snout.

“You’re very affectionate, aren’t you?” she asked, not remembering the estate dogs being quite so friendly.

Then she remembered this wolf was supposed to be Caelis and she had another reason altogether to resent his nearness.

“Caelis, if that is indeed you in there, you must step back.”

He barked his denial and she had no doubts that was exactly what it had been, either, climbing her so his forepaws rested on her shoulders and he could rub her neck with his snout.

She giggled, the sound shocking her as much as the sensation of being tickled.

He licked her again, growling against her throat in a way that should have frightened her, but it did not.

One thing was certain, while she still feared Caelis the man because of his power to harm her and destroy her happiness, she did not fear his wolf.

At all.

“You are very sweet like this.”

The wolf chuffed, as if he found her sentiment immensely funny and she found herself smiling at him.

The light flashed and then Caelis the man was again there, naked and far too close. “Your smile is still as beautiful and bright as the sun.”

That very same smile slid from her face more rapidly than water going over the falls into her favorite loch.

A small scream escaped her throat, but she pressed her hand over her mouth to keep other sounds inside. She could not afford to alert her friends or her children to her distress.

Caelis had turned into a wolf. Might well do so again. While she’d never doubted her own security, others might not be safe around him. Especially Thomas.

She shoved him from her. “Get away.”

At first, he did not move, but she shoved again. Harder.

He stumbled back a step. “You are frightened of the wolf.”

“No. I don’t want your naked body so near,” she stated without apology.

He didn’t fight her, moving back quickly, his expression unreadable. But the intensity of his regard was unsettling.

She hugged herself. “You need to put your plaid back on.”

He laughed, the sound harsh, almost bitter, and he turned away. Not to get his clothing, but to drop to the floor.

He knelt there for several seconds, breathing deeply.

“Did it hurt you?” she asked in a halting voice. “Changing into a wolf?”

“Do not speak,” he rasped out.

She closed her mouth, once again not understanding.
Why couldn’t she speak?

“My control over my wolf is precarious,” he answered as if she had spoken aloud.

“Is it always like this after you shift between forms?” she asked and then regretted doing so when an animalistic sound came from his mouth. Did the wolf wish to return to his animal form?

Mayhap he did not like living as a man.

Caelis’s muscles corded with some great effort. “No. But I have not claimed my true mate in six years and she stands alluringly before me in a bedchamber. What do you think my wolf wants to do?”

This was about sex?
“Control yourself, like you didn’t six years ago,” she answered immediately and with some bite.

He leapt to his feet, his naked body turning to face her all in one smooth movement.

There was ample evidence that he was indeed very aroused. Whether it was by her or by shifting, or would have happened with any woman in a similar circumstance, she could not know.

“You think I did not control myself six years ago?” he demanded, his expression stark, his tone feral.

“No,” she replied starkly and then added, “Had you, I would not have become pregnant.”

“And do you regret that?
Can
you regret our son?”

“Of course not.” And how unfair of him to ask. Caelis had not been the one to live with the consequences of pregnancy outside of wedlock. “I love my children with my whole heart, but having our son the way I did came with great cost, not the least of which was the regard of my parents for the rest of their lives.”

“They were angry with you?”

“Do not jest. You know full well how furious they would have been. They were disappointed in me and disgusted by the shame I had brought on our family name. My mother called me a whore and never forgave me. My father, either, though he was less vocal in his criticisms.”

Horror washed over Caelis’s features, though whatever he was feeling had no apparent effect on his arousal. “They loved you so much.”

“And that made my betrayal of them that much greater.”

“You did not betray them.”

“I did. You know well a woman is to save her innocence for the marriage bed.”

“It doesn’t always happen.”

“Nay, but you were not there to make it right, were you? You and your laird had judged me and found me wanting as a mate for the beast, is that it?”

“Not me.”

“Just the laird, but you went along.”

“I did. To my own shame.”

“You do not know what shame is until you have had your husband treat you like a dockside whore on your wedding night.”

Caelis looked sick. “I am sorry.”

Three little words. They shouldn’t have mattered, and in the great expanse of life probably didn’t, but in that moment they healed wounds still bleeding in her heart.

“I am sorry I left you, but I cannot be sorry I claimed you. I wanted you from the moment your body showed itself to be fully a woman. I waited a full year to make you mine.” And then he’d let her go.

Did he expect her to cheer his supposed restraint? “You should have waited forever since you had no intention of marrying me after.”

“It was not my intentions that were at fault.”

She might begin to believe that.
Might.
“Merely your dedication to keeping your vows to me,” she mocked.

“Do not provoke me.” He growled, the sound just like a wolf.

“Or what? You’ll lose control?” Heavens above, what was she doing? Did she want to see his beast come out?

Mayhap, she did.

“Yes,” he ground out, stalking closer, his once again
fully tumescent sex testimony to the veracity of his passions at least.

Though again she had to remind herself there was nothing to say that he would not physically desire
any
woman after shifting from his wolf form. It was a very primitive action and there was nothing more primal than sex.

He towered above her, the beast in his eyes so clear she wondered how she’d ever been able to miss it. “My wolf would claim you,
mo toilichte
.”

“Your wolf and you are the same, are you not?” It had certainly seemed so when the beast stood before her.

The wolf had shown the understanding of a man.

“We are.”

“Then
you
want to claim me.”

“Aye.” He closed his eyes, his head tilted back, his tone so guttural it was barely more than a whisper. “I crave you as no other.”

“Me? Or any woman’s form?”

His head jerked down, blue eyes snapping open and filled with rage-fueled desire. The sound that came from his throat was not human. He had not liked that question at all. It was as if she was casting aspersions on some intrinsic element to his nature, or maybe even something deeper.

“
You.
My sacred mate. I have told you, I can have no other. Six years…” His neck muscles corded, he let his words trail off.

Had he said that, or merely claimed he had not had
comfort
in all that time? “What do you mean?”

“As Faol—a wolf shifter. I mean—once I have had sex with my sacred mate, I
cannot
do so with another.”

“Explain the
cannot
.”

Something seemed to snap inside him and he grabbed her hand, pressing it to his hard flesh.

Her fingers curled around the erection of their own volition, squeezing before she was even aware of what she was doing.

He groaned, the sound both pained and filled with ecstasy. “
This
does not happen.”

“This?” she asked as she squeezed again, this time quite deliberately.

“Yes. I become aroused for none but my true mate.
Six years
…” he said again, his voice pained. Caelis’s eyes slid shut again, his head tipping back. “Only you, Shona.”

The urge to touch him in ways that would push that pleasure over the cliff grew with each second she held that velvet-soft hardness in her hand.

She
should
release him, push him away. Her brain insisted on it. But once again, instinct was taking over reason and her body refused to obey the dictates of her brain.

“I am your sacred mate?” she asked, trying to understand what that really meant.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

He cupped each side of her neck, his thumbs rubbing the underside of her chin and leaned down so their foreheads touched. “Only Providence knows, but the sacred bond is a gift few among the Chrechte find.”

“Then how could you throw me away?”

“I was convinced of a lie.” She could not deny the pain in his voice.

But she could not let it dictate her responses either. “You let yourself believe a lie,” she corrected.

The sound he made was one of an animal in pain. “Aye.”

She nodded, their foreheads brushing. She’d needed to hear him admit it. Even if he did not take full responsibility for their separation, Caelis needed to acknowledge his role in it.

She would never forget.

“Believing your laird’s claim…” She would not call that man
her
laird. “That I was not the one, you were willing to push me away on the hope you had a sacred mate.”

“No. Maybe.” He lifted her head so their gazes met, so close she could see herself in his pupils. “I expected him to realize his error.”

“You believed I was your sacred mate?” she asked.

“No, but I didn’t think I would find mine. Uven made it clear that even if I could not, he expected me to catch another wolf with child. I hoped he would change his mind about that.”

“Or maybe you thought you could get another woman pregnant and leave her?” Shona asked, her own pain too close to the surface.

“No. If you believe nothing else about me, believe that I would not have let you go had I allowed myself to accept the possibility of a child. And there was no other woman I would have given my seed to. Chrechte or human.”

Could she accept his words as truth?

No deception shadowed his blue eyes made dark by the candlelight; but then, she’d seen no deception there six years before either.

“You want to believe.”

She could not deny it.

“Then believe,” he said, his tone cajoling and demanding at once.

Desire that had nothing to do with the words between them coursed through her, heating her blood as even he had never done before. ’Twas as if the six years apart had only increased her body’s need for him.

It should have been the opposite. After so long, even residual passion’s spark should have gone out.

But the flame burning inside her was hotter than the sun and demanded to be assuaged.

“You want me,” he said, his tone laced with wonder and undeniable joy.

“I—”

“Do not deny it.” He sniffed the air, another feral noise sounding from deep in his throat. “I can smell it. I can taste it on the air.”

“Your wolf senses…” Suddenly her son’s enhanced abilities made sense. “Eadan—”

“Is like me, though he will not shift for the first time until he is of age.”

“No. I would know if my son was more than human.” Though memory after memory flashed through her mind, reminding her of oddities she’d dismissed over and over again.

Simply because what they pointed to had made absolutely no sense.

Her son shared his nature with a wolf.

“How? When you knew nothing of our existence?”

“He is my son.”

“And mine.”

What would have happened if her son had shifted without Shona or him being aware of werewolves? “The dreams.”

They had prepared her son when no parent had been around to do so.

“Told him of his true nature, yes.”

“It’s incomprehensible.”

“Is it truly?”

After she’d witnessed Caelis’s transformation? No, but this was her son. “He’ll be stronger.”

“And faster.”

“Safer.”

“Aye.” Though he’d met his fair share of humans among both the Balmoral and Sinclair clans that were strong enough.

“This thing between us, it’s because of our son.” It had to be.

Otherwise, how could she want Caelis so much? They had not even kissed.

“Nay. Rather, he exists because of the bond between us.”

A bond that was like a living thing. It was as if Caelis’s naked body drew hers with inexorable power she could not deny.

Mesmerized by the sight of his sex hard for her and pulsing with power, once again her hand moved without thought. Her fingers slid against the hardened flesh they were curled around. The tender skin warmed her own, evoking memories much more pleasant than those found in her marriage bed.