Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger (16 page)

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Chapter 29

Stupid

“Did anyone have any trouble with the homework?” asked Miss Nogard.

They all shook their heads.

Ron shook his head too.
Homework?
he thought.
What homework?

“Good,” said Miss Nogard. “Well, in that case, there won’t be any homework tonight.”

Everyone cheered.

“Let’s just quickly go over the answers,” she said. “Ron, what was your answer to question one?”

Ron’s stomach flipped over. He fumbled with his notebook. “Uh, just a second,” he said.

“That’s okay, we’ll wait,” said Miss Nogard.

Ron flipped through the pages. “What question are we on?” he asked.

“Question one,” said Miss Nogard.

“Um, I couldn’t get that one,” said Ron.

“Oh,” said Miss Nogard. “Well, that’s okay, Ron. As long as you tried. Who knows the answer to question one?”

A handful of hands went up in the air.

Seven lima beans
, thought Jason.

Seven lima beans
, thought Rondi.

Six cucumbers
, thought Deedee.

Seven lima beans
, thought Stephen.

Miss Nogard called on Deedee.

“Six cucumbers,” Deedee said proudly.

“No, I’m sorry,” said Miss Nogard. “The answer was seven lima beans.”

Ooh, I had that!
thought Jason.

She should have called on me!
thought Rondi.

Deedee is stupid
, thought Stephen.

“Okay, question two,” said Miss Nogard. “Ron, did you get that one?”

Ron squirmed in his seat. He flipped through his papers. “What question are we on?” he asked.

“Question two,” said Miss Nogard.

“Uh, I couldn’t get that one either,” said Ron.

Miss Nogard looked at him a moment. “Okay, who knows the answer to question two?”

Abraham Lincoln’s hat
, thought Todd.

Abraham Lincoln’s hat
, thought Joy.

Abraham Lincoln’s hat
, thought Bebe.

George Washington’s left shoe
, thought Calvin.

“Yes, Calvin,” said Miss Nogard.

“George Washington’s left shoe!” said Calvin.

“No, I’m sorry,” said Miss Nogard. “The answer was Abraham Lincoln’s hat.”

I knew it!
thought Todd.

Calvin’s stupid
, thought Joy.

“Ron, did you get the answer to number three?” asked Miss Nogard.

Ron shook his sorry little head. He wished he had just told her the truth, but now it was too late.

“Anyone?” asked Miss Nogard.

Chairs and bears
, thought Benjamin.

Coats and goats
, thought D.J.

Chairs and bears
, thought Mac.

Chairs and bears
, thought Deedee.

Miss Nogard called on D.J.

“Coats and goats?” he said hopefully.

“No, chairs and bears,” said Miss Nogard.

What an idiot!
thought Benjamin.

“Question four,” said Miss Nogard. “Ron?” … And so it went. Miss Nogard went through the entire homework assignment, and nobody gave a correct answer.

“I’m very disappointed,” she said when they were finished. “You obviously didn’t understand it. So I’m afraid I’m going to have to assign homework tonight after all.”

Everyone groaned.

“I don’t like it any better than you do,” said Miss Nogard. “But it’s for your own good.”

She assigned three pages of homework, plus they had to do yesterday’s homework over again as well.

But nobody blamed Miss Nogard. They liked her! She didn’t even want to give homework.

They blamed each other.

It’s not fair!
thought Benjamin.
I only missed one problem. But I have to do extra homework because everyone else is so stupid!

It was the same all around the room. Nobody missed more than two problems. Everyone thought everyone else was stupid!

Miss Nogard smiled as she listened to their thoughts.

I hate Joe!
thought John.

I hate Calvin!
thought Bebe.

I hate Joy!
thought Maurecia.

I hate Allison!
thought Rondi.

And everyone hated Ron.

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Chapter 30

The Little Stranger

Wayside School was no fun anymore.

“Hey, out of my way, buster!” said Deedee as she pushed past Ron on her way to her seat.

“Hey, keep your hairy paws to yourself!” said Ron.

Nobody had any friends. Everybody hated everybody — except Miss Nogard. They all liked her.

But then a miracle happened.

A new kid came to school.

The new kid couldn’t talk. She had no teeth. She was almost bald.

She was beautiful.

Her name was Mavis Jewls. She was only four days old.

She really was a new kid.

Mrs. Jewls carried her into the classroom.

And when the baby came through the door, all the hate flew out the window.

Louis came in behind them carrying a bassinet, a diaper bag, an assortment of toys, and a baby bottle.

“It’s Mrs. Jewls and her baby!” Todd exclaimed.

Louis set the bassinet on Todd’s desk. Mrs. Jewls gently laid her baby down in it, on soft yellow blankets.

Everyone crowded around the little stranger.

“Look at her totally tiny toes!” Bebe squealed. “Aren’t those the cutest things you’ve ever seen in your whole life?”

“Check out her nose!” said Myron.

“Oh, she’s so beautiful, Mrs. Jewls,” said Joy. “Can I touch her?”

“Sure,” said Mrs. Jewls.

They took turns touching the baby.

“Goo-goo, goo-goo,” said Mac as he gently shook Mavis’s little hand.

“Iggle wiggle poo poo,” said Allison, tapping her on the nose.

“Iggle wiggle poo poo poo,” said Rondi, tickling her foot.

“Yibble bibble,” said Todd.

“Ooh goo boo boo,” cooed Joe.

“She’s never going to learn to talk around you kids,” said Mrs. Jewls with a laugh.

Dana was so happy she cried. She hugged Mrs. Jewls.

They all took turns hugging Mrs. Jewls.

Of course, there was one person who wasn’t happy. “May I hold her, Mrs. Jewls?” Miss Nogard asked sweetly.

Mrs. Jewls looked at the substitute teacher.

“It’s okay,” said Allison. “Miss Nogard’s a real nice teacher.”

“Sure, go ahead,” said Mrs. Jewls. “I’m sorry for interrupting your class like this.”

“Oh, that’s quite all right,” said Miss Nogard, picking up Mrs. Jewls’s baby. “She’s just adorable.”

The window by Sharie’s desk was wide open.
That’s kind of dangerous
, Miss Nogard realized.
Somebody might accidentally drop something out the window
.

She slowly moved toward it as she swayed with the baby. “I’ve heard so much about you, Mrs. Jewls,” she said. “The children have missed you.”

“I’ve missed them too,” said Mrs. Jewls.

There was a rubber-band ball on the floor next to Sharie’s desk. Sharie had been making it, although it wasn’t nearly as big as the one Mr. Kidswatter had been making.

If I tripped over that rubber-band ball, something awful might happen
, thought Miss Nogard.

She was just about to step on it, when suddenly she became very curious about the kind of thoughts babies had. She had never listened to a baby’s brain before.

Miss Nogard held Mavis close to her heart and listened … .

She gasped. Her face turned white, and her legs wobbled beneath her. As she tried to get her balance, she stepped on the rubber-band ball and fell toward the open window.

Louis jumped over Sharie’s desk and grabbed her just in time.

Mrs. Jewls hurried over.

Miss Nogard tenderly handed Mrs. Jewls her baby. Then she fainted in Louis’s arms.

It is impossible to describe, in words, exactly what Miss Nogard heard when she listened to Mavis’s brain.

Babies don’t think in words.

Miss Nogard heard pure love. And trust. And faith. With no words to get in the way.

It was a love so strong that it dissolved away all the bitterness that had been caked around her heart.

She opened her eyes.

“Are you all right, Miss Nogard?” asked Stephen.

All the children were very worried about her.

Miss Nogard smiled at Louis, who was still holding her. “I’m fine,” she said, then took a couple of steps to steady herself. “In fact, I think I’m better than I’ve been in a long time.” She laughed, then hugged Stephen.

“You should feel very proud of your class,” she told Mrs. Jewls. “They are bright, well behaved, and just a pleasure to teach.”

“We are?” asked Maurecia.

Miss Nogard fluffed Maurecia’s hair. “Yes, you are,” she said.

Maurecia smiled up at her.

“I know,” said Mrs. Jewls. “As I told my obstetrician—”

“Your what?” asked Joy.

“Obstetrician,” said Mrs. Jewls. “That’s the doctor who helped me have my baby. Then, once a baby is born, she gets a new doctor. That doctor is called a pediatrician. That’s different from a podiatrist, who is a doctor who takes care of people’s feet. There are many different kinds of doctors. There’s also a—”

Todd raised his hand. “Mrs. Jewls, you’re starting to get a little boring,” he said.

Mrs. Jewls made Todd write his name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.

“Hey, Louis!” shouted Mac. “Ask Miss Nogard out on a date!”

Everyone looked at Louis.

Miss Nogard looked at him too.

“Do it, Louis!” said Leslie.

“I really would like to get to know you better, Miss Nogard,” he said.

“Ooooh,” said Paul and Leslie.

“Way to go, Louis!” cheered D.J.

“Call me Wendy,” said Wendy Nogard.

“Ooooh,” said Bebe and Calvin.

“Okay, Wendy,” said Louis. “And you can call me Louis.”

“I already do,” said Wendy. She smiled at him.

He smiled back. “So what do you say?” he asked. “Would you like to go out sometime?”

Miss Nogard hesitated.

“Say yes, Miss Nogard!” urged Jenny.

Miss Nogard took a deep breath. “I like you, Louis,” she said. “But I think there is something you should know about me first.”

She bent over and parted the hair on top of her head.

Everyone crowded around as they tried to get a good look.

“It’s an ear!” shouted Jason.

“Yes, it is an ear,” said Miss Nogard.

“Cool!” said Terrence.

“Can I touch it?” asked Dana.

Everyone took turns touching her ear.

The one on top of her head, I mean.

“So, Louis, are you sure you still want to go out with me?” she asked.

Louis held her hands in his. “I like you a lot,” he said. “It doesn’t matter how many ears you have.” He paused for a second. “How many ears do you have?”

“Just three,” she assured him.

“I think your ears are beautiful,” said Louis. “I think your nose and eyebrows are beautiful.”

Miss Nogard didn’t have to read Louis’s mind to know he was telling the truth. She could see it in his eyes.

His eyes were like the moon.

She kissed him. His mustache tickled.

Everybody oooohed.