Wayward Soul (6 page)

Chapter Nine

Rolling over, I notice that Gunner
’
s not in bed anymore. The sheets are cold and I feel like I got hit by a bus. I make my way to the bathroom and do my business, then walk back to my bed and search for my phone. I pull up Gunner
’
s name and hit CALL. After three rings, he answers breathlessly.
“
Yeah?
”

“
Hey,
”
I say meekly.

“
You okay, beauty?
”
he asks with concern.

“
Yeah. I just needed to hear your voice,
”
I say, falling back into my warm bed.

“
Oh, yeah?
”
he says. I can hear the smile in his voice.
“
Sorry I had to leave. Club business.
”
That
’
s always the reason. I
’
m starting to think I can
’
t deal with the club always taking priority over me. What if we had kids? Would they come first, or would the club?

Shit! Why am I thinking about kids with Gunner? He
’
s supposed to be just something fun for me to keep myself entertained.
“
Babe?
”
he says, breaking me out of my haze.

“
Sorry. Do you know when Anslie is going to come back?
”
I want to see her with my own eyes to make sure she
’
s okay.

“
Nah, I don
’
t. But I imagine it won
’
t be until she feels better and she
’
s healed enough to travel. I haven
’
t talked to her brothers
…”
He trails off. We both know Brant left. I just hope she is strong enough to get through both of the life-changing events she is going through right now. My best friend is strong! I know she can do it, and I will be there for her every step of the way.

“
Yeah. Okay,
”
I mumble.

“
Beauty, I got to go. I
’
m on a run. I
’
ll call you when I get back.
”
Part of me wonders if that's the truth, or if they all just love and leave. We say goodbye, then I hang up and throw my phone on the bed.

I
’
m starting to question if being with a biker is really such a good idea. Could being with Gunner get me hurt? I don
’
t think I could make it through something like Anslie just had to go through. Is he really worth it? I have strong feelings for him and we have this connection that I
’
ve never had with anyone before.

Fuck me. I know what I need to do if I don
’
t want to get hurt. I am going to break my own heart in the process, but I think it's the best outcome for me. Protecting my own heart will help me be able to escape the heartbreak I know I am headed for if we keep seeing each other. I know the MC life is dangerous, but even though it turns me on, I
’
m not sure I am strong enough to ensure something like Anslie just went through or worse. What if he died? Or I died? Would the possibility of losing my life be worth this relationship? I
’
m not one hundred percent sure, so I
’
ll make the best decision for me.

It
’
s been a month since I
’
ve talked to Gunner. I can
’
t really eat or sleep, but I
’
ve been putting on a strong mask for Anslie. She
’
s depressed Brantley ditched her, and I can
’
t blame her. I would be just as broken if it were me in that situation. Gunner has tried to call a few times and has even stopped by, but I didn't answer my phone or the door. His texts stopped about a week ago. It crushes me that he doesn
’
t fight harder for me, but I know it
’
s for the best. His life is dangerous and the club will always come first. I don
’
t regret the time we spent together because it will probably be the one and only time I was completely happy.

I watch Anslie walk out into the living room. She looks terrible. I watch her sit on the couch, then she suddenly jumps up and runs towards the bathroom.

Getting up from the kitchen table, I walk to the bathroom to hold her hair back while she throws up.
“
Thanks,
”
she croaks out.

“
It
’
s what best friends are for.
”
I smile. She looks up at me with a sad expression.
“
Anslie, are you okay?
”

“
I feel okay. Something just didn
’
t sit well with me,
”
she says, then takes a mouthful of mouthwash. I feel like she isn
’
t telling me something. She hasn't been eating very much so I know that
’
s not what
’
s wrong.

“
Ans,
”
I say softly. She turns towards me, tears in her eyes.
“
Are you pregnant?
”
She shakes her head, then goes to sit down again.
“
I
’
ll be back. I
’
m going to get you a test.
”
She doesn
’
t say anything, so I just grab my stuff and make my way out the door.

Making my way to the pharmacy down the street from our apartment, forgetting I have to walk by Gunner
’
s club. When I get close enough, the door slams open and I see him walking out with a slutty-looking blonde girl all over him. I can
’
t turn away. Sometimes, I don
’
t know why I like torturing myself. Almost like he knows I
’
m near, he looks up from the blonde and scans the street until we lock eyes. I feel like I can
’
t breathe and I shouldn't feel this way anymore, especially since I
’
m the one who
’
s been ignoring him, but I can
’
t help it.
The blonde is whispering in his ear, but he
’
s still staring at me. I look down and keep walking. I hear the blonde huff and yell his name, then footsteps come up behind me. When his hand grips my arm, I jerk away like I
’
ve been burned.

“
Beauty,
”
he drawls.

Just hearing him call me that makes my panties wet, but I won
’
t let my resolve crack.
“
Gunner,
”
I say coldly.

“
So is this how it
’
s gonna be now?
”
He shoves his hands in his pockets.
“
You
’
re just gonna continue to ignore me and what we had? I didn
’
t think you were that fucking cold. I guess I was wrong.
”
He shakes his head and walks back across the street to the blonde. He pulls her into his arms and kisses her like his life depends on it.

Tears well up in my eyes and I walk away as fast as I can. I have to remember this is for the best. I don
’
t want to end up like Anslie. I know she is pregnant with Brantley
’
s kid, and he
’
s not even around anymore. I know he hurt her after that crazy guy raped her, but she swears that the only possible guy that she is pregnant by is Brant. She didn't tell me everything, but she did say that he didn't rape her vaginally. I won
’
t let that happen to me.

Finally getting to the pharmacy, I wipe my eyes and pull myself together, not letting him get to me. After grabbing what Anslie needs and making my way to the register, I stand in line and play with my phone, suddenly hearing his velvety voice behind me. The bimbo is with him, telling him all the dirty things she wants to do to him tonight. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. This whore is trashy with a capital
“
T
”
. When they get in line behind me, I have to fight the urge to turn around and punch the dumb skank.

“
Gunner, I want to fuck you on that shiny motorcycle yours,
”
she purrs.

I know I should just keep my mouth shut, but there are kids around. I
’
m all for talking dirty to the man I
’
m about to fuck, but its slutty if you have to do it in front of a whole fucking store. I turn around and smile at her.
“
Just because you're a whore doesn
’
t mean you shouldn
’
t act like you
’
re classy in public. Real men like classy women in the street and a whore in the sheets, not the other way around. That is, unless you don
’
t really
have
a real man.
”
I smirk and look directly at Gunner. He has a grin on his face and is trying not to laugh.

I turn back around and look straight ahead.
“
Gunner!
”
she whines.
“
Are you going to just let her talk to me like that?
”

He turns to her.
“
Yeah, I am. Beauty is right. I want a classy woman in the street and a whore in the sheets. And you
’
re just a whore.
”
She huffs and walks out without another word.