Weak for Him (23 page)

In his bedroom, different-sized
candles filled the room. Before leading me to the four-poster
king-sized bed, he had grabbed the bottom of my chin and made me
stare into his deep blues.

"Are you sure this is what you
want?"

I licked my lips and nibbled on
his bottom lip. "Yes," I whispered.

Luke demanded I lay down. I
obeyed.

I opened my legs so he could see
every part of me. He was on all fours kissing the inside of my
thighs, licking me all over, and buried his head into my sex.
Working his tongue around, I moved into him harder. He licked and
sucked every inch of me until I almost couldn't take it anymore and
before I came, he teased me and worked his way up my stomach until
his lips played on the outside of my mine. I moved my body to steal
a kiss, but he pulled away. Teasing me, making me beg for it. When
his lips finally met mine, I could taste myself on his tongue. I
ran my fingers through his dark brown hair, and drew his face
closer, but then pulled away.

"We've broken the rules, Jennifer.
We're not supposed to kiss like that."

He smiled and so did I, pulling
his lips to mine.

"Fuck the rules," I
said.

"I am," he said, and chuckled. He
ran his fingers up and down my body and kissed my neck.

"Are you ready for me?"

I nodded my head.

Trails of kisses led back down to
my sex. Carefully, he slid the tip of his finger inside of me. I
moaned.

"I want to be the first thing
inside of you." And he removed his finger.

More caresses of his tongue and
kisses up my body and my temperature rose.

His rock-hard manhood wanted me,
and I wanted it. He straddled on top of me, and I could feel the
tip of him close to the outside of me. I wanted him in
me.

My breaths went ragged as he
sucked in air and positioned his body closer to mine. I ran my
fingers through his hair, and smiled, and whispered between heavy
breathing as I looked into his beautiful blue eyes.

"Fuck me, Luke. Make me
yours."

And then the door slammed
open.

Twenty-four

"
G
et the fuck off of her,"
Finnley yelled.

Luke rolled off of me, and I sat
up in bed like a prairie dog peeking out of the hole.

Dark green eyes stared into mine
and anger filled me.

"What the hell, Finnley!" I yelled
back at him.

"Come here, Jennifer."

"No. Fuck you," I said.

Finnley walked to me, grabbed me
by the arm, and pulled me to the door.

"Get your fucking clothes on, now.
We're leaving."

"No. I don't want to leave. I'm in
the middle of fucking something."

"I thought it was quite obvious
that you will not be fucking something tonight. If I tell you to do
something, you will obey, and if you don't, then you will wish you
did. Now get fucking dressed."

I pulled my arm back as hard as I
could, but his grasp was too tight. I couldn't break free and knew
I would bruise. Like shackles, he kept hold of me, and even if I
wanted to escape, I couldn't.

Luke didn't care to cover himself
on the bed, but instead gave a sinister smile and placed his hands
behind his head.

Finn placed his hand behind my
head, put his mouth close to my ear, and whispered, "No fucking way
I am going to lose you to this bastard. You are
mine
,
Jennifer. I don't feel like sharing my secret recipe."

That day in the kitchen flashed
through my mind and the memories replayed. I knew there was no
arguing with Finnley, not when a business decision was in play, so
I angrily moved to the bathroom and dressed.

I cussed him the entire
time.

Finally, when I had fully accepted
giving myself to Luke, begged for it, even, was when Finn decided
to not agree? He had months to make up his mind, and fucking Nancy
to fuck. I had Luke. We were finished.

Luke would have been gentle with
me.

He would care for me
afterward.

He would make sure that everything
was okay as he placed my virginity into his pocket. Instead of
wearing it as a badge on his chest, he would have locked it away
and treasured the moment. Maybe even paint a picture for the world
to see.

I wasn't a cheap whore to Luke, or
someone that he could fuck and leave. I meant something to him, and
each time I looked into his eyes, I knew that. Every time we shared
a joke, I knew that it meant more than just my virginity to him.
Was it love? I didn't know, but the idea of him loving me comforted
me.

The high heels fit snug on my
feet. I ripped them off, and walked barefoot to the door where Finn
waited. I breezed past him, and went back to Luke, who stood at the
bottom of the stairs with plaid pajama bottoms. I opened my arms
and tucked my body into his.

"You're fucking beautiful. We will
have our time in Paris," he whispered into my ear.

Each tingle exploded on my arms as
his lips lightly brushed the side of my neck. His hands rubbed
circles on my back, then found their way to my hair. I felt like I
was his.

"You never told me about the
key."

"It's the key to my heart. I had
it tattooed because you've already got it."

I looked into Luke's eyes. He
titled his head and moved close to me. As if Finn wasn't there, our
tongues danced while our hands rustled through hair. We even
exchanged cute, little nibbles of lips. We couldn't keep our hands
off of one another.
Oh god, I want him.

"Paris," I whispered.

When I finally managed to pull
away, I continued my way past Finnley, who looked even more pissed
than before, and walked outside. No hostility, no anger, just
slight agitation fueled me. I had the key to Luke's heart, and it
was the only thing that kept me calm. I was experiencing the calm
before the storm.

V sat in front of the house, her
paint dark and luminous. I opened the door, and shut myself inside
as I stared forward into the darkness.

When I was a child, I would give
everyone the silent treatment when I was mad. My mother said it was
my father's stubbornness, but I didn't care. I knew that if I spoke
when my anger level was close to a ten, I would say things I
regretted. Things that I would never be able to take back, so
instead of eating my words later, I swallowed them. Some habits and
character traits will never die no matter how much a person
changes.

Finn slid into the driver's side
and started V with a vengeance.

The engine rumbled, and he burned
rubber when we pulled off. Way to be an asshole, I
thought.

My mind wandered as we drove down
the long country road. I thought of my best friend, and Luke. I
thought of my childhood cat and how she used to sleep between my
legs when I was a kid. Then my thoughts went darker, and I thought
about my parent's funeral and the house that I sold to run away
from my anguish.

Finnley spoke to me, but I tuned
him out, never really listening to a word he said. The way he
barged in while I was in the middle of one of the most intimate
moments of my life was unforgivable. But then again, did I have a
right to be pissed? I was Finn's, after all.

My thoughts continued to wander
on. They swooped into memories I had long forgotten, and they were
interwoven with new memories of fancy dinners and designer clothes.
High heel shoes and beautiful lingerie, and closets full of every
piece of fabric I could imagine. My life had become something that
I wasn't. I had become someone I didn't know anymore.

I sucked in deep breaths and
exhaled long sighs, hoping the movement of air in my lungs would
calm the burning anger.

The stars across the desert seemed
to shine like bright diamonds. I could see the silhouettes of
cactus line the streets, and watched the dust in our wake as we
sped forward. The engine growled and purred, coaxing me calm,
pulling me back to reality and away from dangerous thoughts. I
closed my eyes and rested my head on the seat.

We pulled into the driveway, and I
stared at the house that had become my home. Finn didn't look at me
as he opened the door, and slammed it. Confusion coated me. I did
nothing. He had no right to be pissed off at me. And with that, my
rage went to an unknown level.

He had his woman.

He went on ski trips with Nancy,
and fancy dinners, and brought her to business parties, and red
carpet affairs.

Nancy, Nancy, Nancy, the name that
seemed to show up everywhere.

The woman that all the Girls
believed Finn would marry.

Nancy: the blonde bombshell that
made Finn the happiest man alive.

What the hell did he want with
me?

Everyone had gone for the evening
and the house was quiet. Some of the girls took vacations with
their Number Ones, and the others took time off to visit their
family.

If I could have slept, I would
have, but I couldn't. My emotions were reeling, and I had to clear
my mind before I landed in a dark place of resentment.

I went to the patio. Winter was
quickly approaching, and the grass seemed crispier under my bare
feet. The stars above twinkled, but it was different than in Texas.
The sky seemed to be darker, bigger, and stretch on for miles in
Vegas like the city streets.

The lawn chair, although the
fabric was cold beneath my legs, held me like a cocoon. The cold
air brushed my skin, and I shivered, but didn't leave. I wanted to
burn the images of Luke washing my naked body in my mind forever. I
wanted to memorize the look on Finnley's face when Luke hovered
above me kissing my neck, being so close to making me his own. Just
one long thrust and he would have been completely inside me, and I
no longer would be a virgin.

But Luke didn't want to hurt me
and was taking his time, only to be fucked in the end.

The memory of his skin, soft to
the touch and our closeness made my body beg for more. I leaned my
head back and groaned.

When I fully understood I would be
selling my virginity, I never thought the act of giving it away
could be sweet. I imagined being fucked and deflated, left to deal
with myself, and the ugly side of sex. Broken.

But it was nothing like that. The
act—if it would have continued—would have been something beautiful
that I could have fantasized about as an old woman.

Luke found beauty inside of me
when I thought it was lost. Above all, he saw me as I could never
see myself. The pictures he painted reflected his feelings. He
brought color to my world of darkness, and for that, I would be
forever thankful.

My thoughts wandered back to Finn,
and the lingerie store, and the way he pinned me against the door
and told me I was easy to love. The lust in his eyes and the husk
in his voice traveled along my body with his breath.

Finn.

The whole reason why I sat in the
back yard of a million-dollar mansion, and why I met Luke in the
first place.

Finn.

The man who made me the sex crazed
kitten that I was today. The one who taught me about my inner
desires that I never knew existed.

Finn.

The man that pissed me off beyond
the furthest star in the sky, yes fucking light years'
worth.

Until I lost my virginity, the
burden of being pure and wholesome would follow me as a stalker in
the night. A heavy price tag sat on my shoulders, and locked
tightly around my neck almost choking me.

I was Little Red Riding Hood, and
the men that desired my virginity were the big, bad wolves, licking
their lips as I passed, hoping to catch a whiff of my purity while
offering thousands of dollars for just one night to be inside of
me. The dark thoughts sickened me, but I relished in them. Being a
virgin gave me power, but I was ready to give it away.
Willingly.

I closed my eyes tight, then
opened them. The cool air stung, causing water to obstruct my
vision. I tucked my feet under my body, hoping to warm my frozen
toes.

The sound of the water in the hot
tub as the waterfall changed different colors kept my attention.
The steam rose from the top, and the heat called my name. A heated
Jacuzzi… what a luxury.

I wanted to jump in, to let the
warmth relax my muscles and mind. And with that thought, I stood
and slipped off my clothes.

Modesty barely existed anymore,
especially being in a house full of women. Not that anyone was
home, but still. Gone was the shy, timid Jennifer, replaced with a
person that made me feel like a stranger to myself. Was that even
possible?

One toe after another, I dipped
and slid into the rumbling water until my body became a void in its
depths. I sighed as I allowed the jets to loosen me. Closing my
eyes, I had hopes to control my emotions. To reel them in before
they ran wild, to think of nothing, and relax.