Wed Him Before You Bed Him (24 page)

“So you're just going to give up on us? Again? The way you did eighteen years ago? Is that what you're telling me? Because you know damned well that the school's problems are never going to be solved entirely, and you've made it perfectly clear that you're afraid to try marrying again.”

She whirled on him. “That is not fair! I will not let you blame me for this. Every time I turn around I uncover
another untruth or evasion.
You
are the one who keeps secrets and protects your heart at every turn!”

“And
you're
not protecting yours?” He stalked toward her, determination on his face. “You use your bloody school as an excuse for not taking risks in your private life, for not letting any man close enough to gain your heart. And do you want to know why?”

She stared at him sullenly.

“Because you're a coward, Charlotte Harris,” he growled. “And we both know it.”

D
avid felt as if he were drowning. Everything was slipping away from him—Charlotte and his hopes for the two of them. Why was this happening to them? Why did she have to make it so hard?

If she used this thing with Sarah to cut him out of her life until she “settled the school's problems” and decided how she felt about marriage, it would be the end of them. She always ran away, always found an excuse to ignore what lay between them.

Well, by God, he would not let her. If it took making her angry to make her listen, then that was what he'd do.

And she
was
angry, oh yes. She hated being accused of any weakness, but especially cowardice. She prided herself on her strength and independence, and those were the qualities in her that he found so intoxicating.

But he'd be damned if he let her hide behind her independence right now.

“How dare you!” she bit out. “
You
are the one who lied to
me
. You are the one who is keeping secrets and asking the impossible.”

“The impossible?” He walked up to loom over her. “You mean, by asking you to share my life?”

“Right now it is not wise—”

“Yes, right now. But you said that you mean it to go on beyond right now. That even after they find Sarah's killer,
you mean to stay away. So you can
think
.” His voice hardened. “Talk yourself out of marrying me, more like. And there's only one reason for that.” He braced his hands on either side of her shoulders. “Your cowardice.”

“Stop saying that! I am not a coward!”

“No? You're afraid to give up even a tenth of your precious independence in order to marry me.”

She met his gaze squarely. “Oh, but you do not want only a tenth. You want everything I have. In exchange, you offer me nothing.”

“Except my name. And my money.”

“That is not what I mean, and you know it. You offer me nothing of yourself.”

“I offer you
this,
” he murmured, bending his head to kiss her.

She shoved him hard enough to make him stumble back. “That is only your reckless desire, nothing more.”

He glared at her. “Don't you dare play the offended schoolmistress with
me,
sweeting. I am not the only one feeling a reckless desire, and you know it.”

“Yes. I desire you.” Her eyes were glittering now, her face alight with her anger. “And you use that desire to control me.” To his shock, she shoved him again, forcing him back another step. “You want to make me swoon so I don't notice you slowly taking over
everything
in my life: my school, my future, my heart.”

She shoved him so hard that he fell back onto the settee.

His own temper rising, he grabbed her and pulled her down on top of him. “If it's control in our lovemaking that you seek, sweeting, I am perfectly willing to give you that.” As she struggled off his lap, he stretched his arms out along
the back of the settee. “Go ahead, take control.” He let his thighs fall open just enough to show his rampant arousal. “Ravish me. I won't stop you.”

Standing in front of him, her hands on her hips and her dander up, she was as fine a sight as he'd ever seen. “I do not see what
that
would prove,” she snapped, though her gaze dropped to the painfully obvious bulge in his breeches.

“It would prove that I'm not the only one who can use desire to control.” When a fetching blush spread over her cheeks, it aroused him even more.

“That's not the sort of control I meant,” she shot back.

“No? That's what you said—that I use desire to control you,” he goaded her. Right now, goading her into letting down her guard seemed the only way to stop her mad urge to be free of him. “But if you want to deny it because you're all talk and no action, as most women are—”

Her hands knotted up into fists. “You are the most infuriating, insufferable, arrogant—”

“As I said, all talk and no action.” He taunted her with a smile. “Or perhaps you're merely afraid that you
can't
take control. What does a stiff-necked schoolmistress like you know about controlling a man by using his desire?”

“Oh, believe me,” she hissed as she marched up to him, “if I wanted to, I could have you wrapped around my little finger. But I do not want a man who lies to me, who will not let me into his life.”

“A likely excuse,” he said. Considering how she was reacting to the news about the fake codicil, he could only imagine how she'd cut him out of her life if she learned the rest of truth. “You're just afraid to try. Deep down, you know you can't handle me.”

He let his gaze trail down over her delicious body. “The idea of you using desire to control a man with my experience and sophistication is ludicrous.” If that didn't provoke a response out of her, nothing would.

“Ludicrous, is it?” She climbed onto his lap and grabbed his head in her hands. “I can have you begging in moments, you insolent devil.”

He held her gaze. “I never beg. Not for you, not for any woman.”

“We'll just see about that,” she bit out.

When she then took his mouth in a deep, soul-searching kiss, it was all he could do not to wrap his arms about her, lay her out on the settee, and take her like a savage.

But he wanted her to see that desire went both ways, that she had a certain amount of control over him, too. That marriage would
not
mean giving up her entire life to him the way she seemed to think.

So although he responded to the kiss, he deliberately let her control it, though it was pure torture to do so. It had been three long days since he'd made love to her, and all he could think of as she settled herself across his lap was how badly he wanted to be inside her.

Dragging her mouth from his, she said, “Take off that silly footman's coat. I feel as if I'm seducing a servant.”

He was more than happy to comply, removing the cravat, waistcoat, and shirt as well. “Don't I get to see
you
naked?” he rasped as she ran her hands over his bare chest, thumbing his nipples until he groaned.

She bent close and pressed her fully clothed bosom against him, only to whisper in his ear, “Perhaps later. After you beg.”

That's when he realized how badly he'd miscalculated. Still angry, she was determined to make her point by tormenting him.

“Afraid?” she whispered.

Her body squirming atop his bulging cock was driving him slowly mad. “Of you?” he managed to choke out. “Never.”

“You should be.” She moved her hands down between them to stroke his thighs, rousing the ache in his cock to such intensity that he thought he would die if she didn't touch him there.

“Oh God, Charlotte…” he said before he could stop himself.

“Did you want something, Lord Kirkwood?” She rubbed her lower body against him just enough to arouse him even more. “All you have to do is beg.”

Though he had started this with the idea of letting her have control, now that she did, he was having trouble enduring it. The idea of begging her for his pleasure really galled him.

He reached between them to stroke her, hoping to inflame
her,
but she slid off his lap.

“Ah, ah, ah, my lord,” she said, taking down her hair and shaking it out. Damn her if she wasn't enjoying this. “I didn't say you could touch me, did I?”

He watched hungrily as she reached up beneath her skirts and removed her drawers without showing him a damned thing of what lay under them.

“This is
not
what I meant by control,” he growled.

“No? That's what you said,” she mimicked his earlier words with perfect accuracy. “You said I should use desire to control you.” She drew her skirts up above her knees,
revealing the long, stocking-clad legs that he wanted to kiss and stroke. That he wanted to be between. Right
now.

She swished her skirts over her thighs like some Drury Lane whore teasing a client. “But you're all talk and no action, as most men are.”

Her deliberate echoing of his words earlier was starting to irk him. “If you want action—” he bit out, lunging forward to grab her hips.

But she resisted his attempt to pull her astride him. Instead, she lifted her leg and planted it on the settee next to his hip, exposing her lovely honeypot. “Actually, I would like a different sort of action. I want you to pleasure me with your mouth.”

He looked up at her in shock. He'd done that with barmaids and the occasional mistress in his salad days, but never with a respectable woman. Sarah would have been appalled at the very idea. He hadn't even been able to coax her into removing her nightdress most of the time. “You…you know about
that
?”

“Looks like I'm not such a stiff-necked schoolmistress after all, am I?”

“Apparently not.”
And thank God for it.

More than eager to comply, he leaned forward to bury his face in her flesh. But within moments, he realized how well she had chosen her pleasure. Tasting her, smelling her pungent female flesh, aroused him while not even beginning to satisfy his rigid cock. The more he licked and sucked and delved with his tongue, the more he thought his breeches might actually burst before he got to be inside her.

Her hands closed on his head to hold him to her. “Yes…David…oh…dear heaven…like that…”

If he had any sense, he would withhold the ultimate
pleasure from her until she gave him what
he
wanted. But then he'd be doing exactly what she'd accused him of—using her desire to gain control.

Besides, he reveled in the mews and groans coming from her, in the quickening of her breath as she neared her release. And when he felt her explode beneath his mouth, he felt like a conqueror.

She stood there trembling, her head fallen back and her bosom shaking, the loveliest creature he had ever seen. “That was…wonderful,” she sighed.

He nuzzled her thigh. “Do you mean to torment me all night to prove your point?” he asked hoarsely. “Or do I finally get a reward for performing to madam's expectations?”

With a taunting smile, she straddled his legs. “Only if you beg.” She reached down and unbuttoned his breeches, then his drawers.

Before she could pull her hand away, he grabbed it and forced it down to his raging cock. “I'm not going to beg, so you can forget that.”

She stroked him a few times, just enough to restoke the fires, then drew her hand back. “Then, my dear Lord Kirkwood, you will suffer.”

When she started to rise, he gripped her by the thighs and wouldn't let her go. “The hell I will.” He tried to kiss her, but she turned her head aside, so he nipped her ear. “You made your point, sweeting. Be happy with that. Because I want to be inside you, and you know damned well that you want that, too.”

She drew back to stare at him, her eyes solemn. “All right. But only if you agree to tell me the truth about your alibi the night of Sarah's murder.”

He froze. Confound it all, in his fog of desire, he'd forgotten that part of their discussion. But she hadn't. And clearly, this was what
she
meant by using desire to control.

“Why do you want to know?” he said bitterly. “So you can be sure that I didn't kill my wife?”

“So I can know that you want me in every part of your life, not just the ones you allow.” A worried frown creased her brow. “And so I can be sure that you aren't going to hang.”

Her concern warmed him to his very soul. Surely he could tell her something that would satisfy her without giving away too much. “Very well. I promise.”

“Tell me now.”

“No. After.” He thrust his aching cock up against her belly. “Put me out of my misery first.” He kissed the line of her jaw. “Please, sweeting, I can't bear any more.”

She drew back, eyes alight with triumph. “You begged!”

He blinked. “I did
not.
”

“You said ‘please.' That's close enough for me.” With that, she rose up and slid down on his cock.

A hiss of pure pleasure escaped him. “Yes, Charlotte…oh God, yes. You are…heaven.”

With a fierce glance, she began to move, undulating on top of him, wringing him with her body, making him fear he might spend himself inside her before she even came close to finding her release. It felt so good, so right to be inside her, moving with her, being part of her.

Dragging down her gown and corset cups, he filled his hands with her breasts. This was bliss. They belonged together, whether she could see it or not. Somehow he would make sure she did.

“So am I…enough for the…sophisticated…expe
rienced Lord Kirkwood, after all?” she rasped as she rode him like some glorious Diana of the hunt.

“You…always…were,” he admitted, before he lost the fight to hold back his climax and came deep inside her.

As she clenched around him and found her own release with a triumphant cry, he thought,
Mine! Accept it, sweeting. You're mine, now and forever. You just don't know it yet.