Welcome to Sugartown (16 page)

I haven’t a
clue how to deal with this situation. Seriously. I’m trembling, the
blood is whooshing in my ears and I’ve got a white-knuckled grip on
the wheel.
The last person to say those
words to me …

Lilly.

My chest
cleaves open as the unwelcome memory rapes my mind.
“Be good for mum, okay Lil?”

“
I will.” she
beams. Her dark curls brush against my face and her little arms
squeeze like a vice around my neck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen
her this bloody excited.

“
I love you
Lijhie.”

Those were
the last words she ever said.

Fuck!
I should have walked away from Ana before now. I
should have told her the truth: that getting into bed with me means
having more than just her heart compromised. It could mean her
safety, too.

“
Are you
going to say something?” she whisper-yells, careful not to wake
Sammy, and god help me she’s pissed again. Probably more so than
I’ve ever seen her.

I panic and
blurt out the first thing—no, the only thing—that’s going through
my head. “The last person to say that to me was Lilly.”

Her brows
shoot skyward and I see tears prick her eyes. “Oh.”

I know what
she’s thinking, and I hurry to chase away the hurt I see written
all over her face. “Lilly was my kid sister.”

“
Oh.” She
nods and looks out the window, like the view is particularly
interesting. It might’ve been, if it wasn’t pitch black outside.
“Was?”

“
Yeah,
was.”

“
I’m sorry.
You don’t have to tell me anymore if you don’t want to.”

“
It’s okay. I
can see how much you want to know.”

“
Elijah—”

“
You gonna
shut up long enough for me to get a word in?”

She nods
gravely and chews her bottom lip. I can see already how much this
is affecting her, and I know why it has her on the verge of tears.
She’s so soft-hearted that way, a part of me resents having to tell
her this wrenching truth for fear it’ll hurt her.

“
She was all
excited about going away with my mum for a girl’s weekend. They
were getting out of the city and taking off to some horse ranch
where Lil was going to learn to ride. She was obsessed with them,
horses. Had them plastered all over her room, though she’d never
even come face to face with one.” I shake my head as I remember all
that crazy plastic My Little Pony shit I used to trip over in the
hallway.

Ana’s voice
is a whisper, like she’s afraid I’ll stop talking if she speaks too
loudly. “What happened?”

“
They never
even made it past the front gate.”

“
Why not?”
Her eyes are wide with horror and glistening. The tears spill down
her cheeks and I look away so I don’t run us off the road
again.

“
Lil wrapped
her arms around me, she was so damn excited she forgot for a minute
to be embarrassed by her big brother. She said ‘I love you Lijhie.’
I strapped her in the car, kissed Mum goodbye, and turned and
walked back to the house. The next thing I know there’s a big
motherfucking explosion, and parts of our four-wheel drive are
raining down all over me. There was nothing of them left to
bury.”

She’s sobbing
now, so hard that I’m not sure how it doesn’t wake Sammy on her
lap; maybe he’s slipped into a sugar coma after all that fairy
floss.

“
Jesus, baby
girl. Don’t cry.” I swipe at my eyes with the back of my
hands.

“
How can you
stand it?” she sobs quietly. I can see the effort it’s taking her
to quit crying, to try to be strong for me. “How are you even a
functioning human being after something like that?”

I shrug, but
the truth is, I’ve had a long time to think about this and here’s
the only answer I can come up with: “The world doesn’t stop because
a couple of people die. Families die every day.”

I glance over
at Sammy. His head rests in Ana’s lap. Her fingers absently stroke
the side of his face as she cries. I’d give anything to trade
places with him right now. “At first, you’re not sure how you’ll
survive something that crushing, and then one day you get up and
you go about living again. Or, in most cases, you just get through,
one day to the next.”

“
I’m so sorry
this happened to you.” Her tears have eased up a little, but she’s
still at risk of drowning her kid brother. I tell her as much and
she shakes her head and presses her palms to her eyes.

“
Where was
your dad in all this?”

I feel
white-hot rage burn through me at the mention of that worthless
piece of shit. “Dead.”

Ana stops
rubbing her eyes and gapes at me. “Oh, Elijah.” She reaches over
and brushes my face with her tiny hand. I take hold of it with my
own and place a kiss to her soft flesh. “I’m so sorry,” she
whispers, and the tears start falling again.

More than
anything, I want to pull the car over and hold her. I want to kiss
and touch her until all the pain of that stupid, shitty life melts
away, but I don’t. I stare ahead at that white line, the only thing
that’s kept me grounded and away from trouble these past few years.
I stare at it until it blurs and burns into my mind the string of
mistakes I’ve left behind me. I stare at it and wonder if it it’s
time to start following it again until it runs out
completely.

Chapter Fourteen

Ana

Pulling the
front door shut behind me, I race across the gravel alley and into
the back of the shop. Holly’s leaning over the front counter,
fogging up the glass with her breath.

“
You know I’m
gonna make you clean that, right?” I say, and toss her a
rag.

“
Ana.” She
whirls around, completely guilty. Her eyes practically pop out of
her head when she takes in my outfit. The shock is not completely
unwarranted, because I’m wearing skinny jeans, fuck-me boots and my
fitted black leather jacket, zipped low with nothing but a bra
beneath it. “Holy shit, woman! Where is he taking you,
again?”

“
Lantern
Parade in Lismore. Do I look okay?”

“
Are you
kidding me? Cade is gonna bust a nut seeing you in this
outfit.”

“
That’s the
idea. I think.”

A highly
irritating laugh comes from the booth closest to the window. It
sets my teeth on edge and, if I’m completely honest, kinda makes me
want to punch someone’s face in. Then I remember the last time I
had that feeling and it’s suddenly crystal clear who that
pretentious sound belongs to: Nicole White. I glance in her
direction and see her bitchy partner in crime sitting
opposite.
God, has there ever been a more
pathetic sight than former high school queen bee bitches, still
carrying on their hierarchy bullshit long after they’ve
graduated?

Perhaps the
only thing worse is seeing their pinched up, constipated faces
pressed to the glass of my pie shop as they outright ogle the fresh
meat out the window. I follow their gaze and realise they’re
staring across the road at a shirtless, grease-stained
Elijah.

My
Elijah
.

A tsunami
tide of jealousy swells inside me. It’s irrational, but there all
the same.

“
How long
have Slut and Sluttier been here?” I whisper to Holly.

“
About twenty
minutes.”

“
And how long
has my boyfriend been parading around without a shirt?”

“
About an
hour,” she replies, dreamily. I whip my head around to glare at my
supposed best friend and she shrugs. “What? There’s a kinky sex god
half-naked across the road. Sorry, girl, but a body like that
deserves to be worshiped.”

“
He gets
enough worshipfulness from me, his girlfriend by the way—in case
you’d forgotten who you’re ogling.”

“
Oh, I
haven’t forgotten. Haven’t forgotten you promised me more details
either.”

“
You’re such
a perve.”

“
You know it.
And honey, you have nothing to worry about. Anyone can see he’s mad
about you.” She smiles and then throws me a wink. “Plus, even if I
wanted to hit that, my hands are bound by the code: Hoe Hoes before
Bros.”

“
That’s too
bad, because Elijah
loves
restraints.” I poke out my tongue and Holly’s
mouth falls open.

“
You dirty
little slutsky. One of these days you’re going to remember I’m your
best friend and tell me everything.”

“
One of these
days I’ll tell you every little insignificant detail, and it’ll be
so ingrained in your mind, you won’t look at either one of us the
same again. Then you’ll have to move towns in order to escape all
those devastatingly gruesome mental pictures.”

“
Ha! Like
that’ll ever happen.” She leans over the counter and begins fogging
it up again, then draws explicit pictures in the residue. “Ana,
girl, you and I are gonna be stuck in this sad excuse of a town for
the rest of our lives.”

“
Maybe. But
I’m beginning to wonder whether that would be such a bad thing.” I
stare longingly out the window at my man. He wipes down his bike
with smooth, even strokes and, with a giggle from the front booth,
it’s apparent that I’m not the only girl in the room appreciating
the sight of his muscled torso straining beneath his tanned,
tattooed skin. His phone must ring because he straightens and
stares at the screen before running a hand over the back of his
neck and answering it. Then he disappears inside the shop and I
take it as my cue to leave. Holly has other ideas and pulls me back
to her side.

“
You’re in
love with him,” she accuses, but on her face is a huge, megawatt
smile, and I can’t help but smile awkwardly back. Holly wipes a
pretend tear from her eye. “Aw, my little girl’s all grown up. When
are you going to let him stick it to ya?”

That’s my
best friend for you; sadly there’s never been a filter between her
brain and her mouth. Which, come to think of it, is probably why
she’s always got someone’s penis in it.

“
I was
thinking tonight.”

“
OH MY GOD!
You’re letting the sex god nail you tonight and you’re only telling
me this now?!” she screeches, and I so desperately want to hide
beneath the counter because both Nicole and her bitchy sidekick,
Renee, are glaring at us. Holly remains steadfastly unaware of the
mortification she’s inflicting upon me and jumps up and down,
clapping her hands. “Okay, okay, okay. Knickers?”

“
The white
G-string you helped me pick out.”

“
White?
That’s good. Virginal. He’ll be reminded this is a first for you
and hopefully won’t just impale you on his pork sword.” Holly
doesn’t see me scrunch up my nose in distaste at that imagery. Her
mind is working a mile a minute and she has a glazed-over look in
her eyes that I’m beginning to feel nervous about.
“Matching bra?”

“
Of
course.”

“
You know it
hurts like a bitch the first time? Sometimes the second,
too.”

“
Yeah, I’m
really not looking forward to that part.”

“
You’ll be
fine. You’re obviously in very good hands.”

“
Really not
as comforting as you’d think,” I deadpan.

“
Hey, it’s
better than being with a then fifteen-year-old Chris Johnson who
couldn’t figure out which hole was which and ended up prematurely
ejaculating before he’d even rolled the condom on the whole
way.”

“
You’re never
gonna let him live that one down are you?”

“
That
experience scarred me for life!”

“
And yet you
still turned around and tried again the next weekend.”

“
Yeah, and
some friend you are. You really should have stepped in and
prevented that. All I can say is, thank god your hot cousin Jackson
came to town a month later; otherwise I might have never ridden
another pony again.” She waves off my belligerent look. “Anywhoo,
enough about me. You remember how babies are made, right? You’re
covered, or he will be?”

“
Yes, Mum.
Unlike some, I paid attention in PD/Health class.”

“
That a
girl.” She slaps my arse hard and sends me on my way. “Now, go
bring that tattooed, motorcycle riding, kinky sex god to his knees,
and don’t come back until you’re walking funny.”

With a
chuckle, I hurry to the front door of the diner, a bundle of
nervous energy and excitement. Just as I reach for the handle
Nicole slides out of the booth and steps in my path.

“
Hi
Ana.”

“
Er,
hi?”

“
I just
wanted to thank you for not making a big deal about me sharing
Elijah the other day.”

“
Come
again?”

She giggles
and Renee whispers under her breath, “Wasn’t that what he
said?”

I glare at
the two of them.

“
You know,
the other day when he dropped my car off to me? I thanked him
myself, of course, many times, but I just wanted to let him know
how grateful I really am.”