Welcome to the Real World (33 page)

T
he Staples Center arena in Los Angeles is full to capacity. I'm lurking in the wings watching the band currently on the vast stage, feeling nervous and faintly bilious. How can they look so cool when I feel so terrified? They're an upcoming American indie band called Craze that I've never heard of, but they sound great. I'm going to have to swot up on my music knowledge now that I'm in the biz. They've certainly got the place rocking.

The crowd is moving as one mass. Girls in skimpy bikini tops sway on the shoulders of burly men as they sing along with the performers on stage. It reminds me of the Live 8 Concert in Hyde Park a few years ago, which Carl and I could only go to because we managed to get our hands on a couple of tickets which were dished out for free. This gig is in aid of an outfit called
No Strings
who use puppets to provide information for kids in war-torn areas about the dangers of landmines, and it sounds like a damn fine cause to me.

Carl is beside me with his guitar slung over his shoulder. He's slipped into this world very comfortably and I smile to myself. 'I can't believe we're here, Carlos.'

'You'd better believe it. We're on next.'

'What are you supposed to say to rock gods before they go on stage?' I ask him. 'Good luck seems so lame, and I think break a leg is just for actors.'

'We don't need luck,' Carl says. 'We just need to be great.'

The rest of the band are loitering behind us. They're proving to be a good team; they did the sound checks and got everything sorted out for us this morning. We've all really gelled considering that we've been together for such a short amount of time. I hope that this bodes well for the future.

I've been kitted out in a green chiffon strappy ethnic top covered in beads with denim cropped jeans and high-heeled sandals courtesy of Jimmy Choo. Shelly sidles up beside me. As my backup singer, she's been decked out in coordinating clothing and looks very cute. And I don't think it's escaped Carl's attention. I've also noticed that Shelly's been talking to my dear friend nonstop since we arrived. Whatever there was between them, it clearly isn't over for her, and I can
so
empathise with that situation. It only goes to prove the old adage that you can't choose who you love.

I practise some deep breathing. We're going to be performing our new single and two tracks from the album, which is due for release when we get home, so I run through the lyrics under my breath. My palms are sweating, but I also can't wait to get on there. It's just such a shame that the folks back in EnglandJoe, Nathan, my mum and dadcan't be here with me, but I know they'll be watching the concert with bated breath as it's going out live on MTV.

Craze finish their set to rapturous applause, take their bow and bounce boyishly off the stage.

'Ready, guys?' I ask. My band punch the air.

Carl pulls me to him and presses his lips to mine. 'You've made it,' he says with tears in his eyes. 'You've bloody well made it.'

And now it's our turn. This is it. This is my moment.

Evan ran through the backstage area at the Staples Centera place he knew well as he'd performed concerts here a dozen or more times over the years. He'd had no trouble talking his way through the security checks because of who he was. Sometimes being famous had distinct advantages, although his wedding attire was raising some curious eyebrows.

Rupert had hired him a jet to take him to L.A. and he'd got into the air with only a short delay. It seemed he was here just in time to hear Fern's set as the backstage manager told him she was about to go on. He pushed through the crush of musicians and performers as he made his way to the wings, hoping that he might be able to watch from there.

As he approached, he heard the announcement.

'Ladies and gentlemen,' the compere said, 'put your hands together in a big stateside welcome. All the way from London, Englandthis is
Fern!
'

Out in the stadium, the crowd screamed the place down. He saw Fern clasp her hands in prayer and then run onto the stage. The band followed and Evan recognised Carl as the guy standing at the back. Before he went on stage, Fern's friend turned and then froze as he saw Evan waiting there.

'What are you doing here?' Carl demanded.

'I had to come. I had to see Fern,' Evan said. 'It wasn't my wedding.' He saw Carl take in his clothes. 'I was the best man.'

'So you've followed her here?'

'I love her,' Evan said.

'So do I,' Carl answered bleakly.

'Does she love you?' Evan had to know. If she did, then he would turn around, walk away and try to forget all about her.

Carl's shoulders sagged, and Evan could see his eyes fill with tears. 'Yes.'

Evan felt as if all the breath had been punched out of his body.

Then Carl shook his head sadly. 'But not like she loves you.'

'Then where do I go from here?'

'Remember the night at the King's Head?'

Evan nodded.

A slow smile spread over Carl's face. 'Then let's go for it.'

'It will certainly make Fern's first performance in the USA memorable,' Evan said. Then he clasped Carl's hand. 'Thank you. Thank you so much.'

'If you ever hurt her, I'll kill you,' Carl warned him and then he ran onto the stage.

Our first two songs go down a storm. The audience are really motoring now and give us a great response. I skip about the stage, whipping them into a frenzy, never realising that I could exert this power over a crowd. This is the biggest adrenaline kick I've ever had. I'm just sorry that we only have one more song to go, as I could quite happily stay out here all night. If this has to be my life without Evan David, then it won't be a bad one at all.

I'm ready to launch into our last number when Carl catches my eye. He signals that we're going to slow the pace down, and I'm panicked as I don't know what he's doing and I have no desire to fall flat on my face in front of a capacity crowd at the Staples Center. The rest of the band stop playing, and now I'm really confused. Carl comes to the front of the stage with his acoustic guitar and sits down right on the edge by the footlights. I begin to wonder if he's lost his mind. As he starts to strum, I recognise the chords of the Beatles song 'Yesterday'the one that I sang with Evan that fateful night at the King's Head before I found out he was engaged to Lana Rosina. What is my mad little friend doing? This is going to break my heart.

I'm blinded by the lights, and then out of the wings I see Evan walk onto the stage. The crowd recognise him in an instant and go absolutely berserk, and all that I feel is that I'm a centre of calm in the middle of a storm. I can't move. My limbs have gone numb, and somewhere inside me there's a sense of acceptance. He's still wearing his wedding clothes and I've no idea what must have happened after Carl and I left the celebration, but if this is what's meant to be and Evan has come here to be with me, then we can work out all the details afterwards.

Evan takes my hand and looks deep into my eyes. 'It wasn't my wedding,' he says quietly to me.

Before I can ask for any further explanations, the screaming dies down and Evan starts to sing 'Yesterday' in that fabulous, rich voice that sends shivers down my spine. This is Evan's apology to me, and the lyrics pierce my soul. I thought I could live without this man, but I now know that I can't.

After the first verse I join in, and we lose ourselves in each other and in the music. Tears stream down our faces as we finish the song. I see that Carl is crying, too. He stands up and goes to Shelly, who throws her arms around him. Somehow my best friend has made this happen for me, and I've never cared for him more than I do now.

Evan leads me to the front of the stage, and he lifts my hand to his lips and kisses it. 'I love you,' he says. The crowd screams their approval.

We take our bow hand in hand, and the audience's cheer reach a crescendo. The whole stadium is on its feet shouting for us. I feel as if the future is stretched out before me, full of wonderful things just waiting to happen. I pinch myself to check that this is, indeed, the real world, and then I fold myself into Evan's arms feeling the power of his strong embrace...and I never want this moment to end.