Werewolf Upstairs (28 page)

***

Konrad charged up the stairs and heard Merry demand, “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Dottie? Evicting Konrad for one late payment is ridiculous. Jason, set her straight!”

Konrad appeared at the door she had left wide open.

Dottie reared back and stared at Merry wide eyed. “Excuse me?”

“Honey, that’s not necessary.” Jason put an arm around his furious wife. “I’m taking care of it.”

Konrad quickly interjected, “Merry, Roz didn’t get a chance to tell you. I’m getting the money.”

Dottie crossed her arms. “Oh? And when are
we
getting it?”

Just as Merry opened her mouth, Jason held up his hand. “We’ll get it when he has it, Aunt Dottie. There’s no need to rush him.”

Whew. I knew I could count on Jason to be reasonable.

“
But his aunt better stay out of choking reach,
”
he heard Roz think from downstairs.
Apparently their telepathy was growing stronger, traveling over greater distances.

Dottie’s jaw dropped. “I thought
I
was the manager.”

Jason rested his hands on his hips. “And I thought
I
was the landlord.”

Her lips thinned into a tight line.

Merry took a deep breath. “Dottie, if it weren’t for Konrad, I might not be alive. He saved me from a would-be rapist with a knife to my throat. Don’t you remember that night?”

Konrad stared at Dottie and waited to see what she’d say to that.

She relaxed a bit, but her arms remained folded in front of her. “I remember. But does that mean he gets a free ride? How are the other tenants who pay their rent regularly going to feel?”

Merry folded her arms too. “They don’t have to know.”

Konrad coughed. “Um, Merry, they already know. They held a bake sale to help me out.”

Dottie had a smug look of satisfaction on her face. “You see? They all know. I watched the whole thing from that window.” She pointed to the bay window facing Beacon Street. “Roz and Morgaine set up a folding table on the corner, and Gwyneth risked her neck walking into oncoming traffic to sell the goodies. Nathan bought some, so he knew about it. In fact, the only one I didn’t see was Joe.”

“And he already gets a break on his rent,” Merry added.

Konrad’s eyebrows shot up. “He does? Why?”

“Because his roommate is an officious ghost,” Dottie said. “And for some reason, he won’t let anyone stay there except Joe, so it’s half the rent or none at all.”

Konrad scratched his head. “I heard Joe is moving out. I can give you half the rent right now.”

Dottie gasped. “Joe’s moving out? Oh, no. We’ll never get that place rented again.”

Konrad stuck in hands in his pockets. “I don’t know. He seems to like me. Maybe he’ll let me move in.”

“You’re kidding. Now I know he hates me,” Dottie wailed.

“What makes you say that?”

“Apparently I’m the only one he plays tricks on.”

“Tricks?”

“Yes. Last fall, before we held the séance and he was still trying to frighten potential renters away from what he considers
his
apartment, I was showing it to someone, and he moved boxes from the closet right into my path, causing me to trip. I could have broken my neck!”

“Are you sure that was his doing?”

“Don’t you start questioning my sanity too. I get enough of that from my husband and nephew.”

“Sorry.”

Dottie jammed her hands on her hips. “But why would he like you? It’s not like you can protect him from anything. He’s already dead. You can’t talk to him like Morgaine and Gwyneth can. You can’t even see him to know he wants you to turn on the TV, like Nathan does.” Dottie threw her hands in the air. “I give up.”

Jason patted her shoulder. “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you. He probably just knows he can get a reaction from you. If you ignore him, he’ll probably leave you alone.”

“Oh, no. I tried that.” She shook her head, vehemently. “If I ignore him, he keeps upping the ante until I lose my temper and scream at him.”

“What does he do?” Konrad asked.

“Irritating things. He sees me waiting for the lottery numbers to be read with my ticket in hand then causes static on the TV. He turns the oven off as soon as I put a roast in. He shakes up my cans of soda in the fridge.

Konrad bit his lip.
Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh.

Jason sighed. “I don’t know what to tell you, Aunt Dottie. There’s nothing we can do about a ghost.”

Ralph walked in from the hallway. “What’s going on? Did I hear Dottie telling you some stupid ghost stories again? By the way, welcome home, Jason.”

Dottie put her hands over her face, but Konrad saw the skin around them turning red. Jason and his uncle clasped hands and patted each other’s backs in a man hug.

At last, Dottie balled her fists and yelled, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Jason raised his eyebrows. “Can’t do what, Aunt Dottie?”

“This! All of this. Managing an apartment building full of miscreants, trying to rent unrentable units, using what little authority I have to collect the rent and being undermined at every turn. I’ve had it!” She stormed off toward her bedroom.

Ralph shook his head. “She’s been like this ever since she published that travel article. Now she wants to take off in an RV and tour destinations all over the country.”

Merry and Jason spoke at the same time. “She published the article?”

“What article?” Konrad asked.

Ralph scratched his chin. “When we were in the Caribbean scouting hotels for Jason and Merry’s honeymoon, Dottie found her calling. She had a ball touring the various facilities and grilling the managers. Later she used all her notes to write an article describing each place in detail and submitted it to a few travel magazines.”

Dottie strode back into the living room with a magazine in her hand. “And not only did a magazine offer me a good paycheck for it, the editor wanted me to write more.”

Jason took the magazine from her. “That’s great! Is it in this issue?”

“Page twenty-three,” she announced proudly.

Ralph cleared his throat. “Um, Jason, after you get settled, there’s something I’d like to discuss with you.”

“Sure. Give us a couple of hours to unpack.”

“When you’re free, can I speak with you too?” Konrad asked.

“If it’s about the rent, don’t worry about it.” Jason clapped him on the back. “My wife’s right. If not for you, she might not have survived the attack in the alley. Take that eviction notice and tear it up.”

Whew. Dodged one bullet. Now all I have to worry about is a grand jury.

***

While Roz was at the courthouse, trying to change the date of the big trial to a waxing or waning moon, Konrad decided he should bone up on the law. Unfortunately he didn’t have any law books, so he pulled out his copy of John Grisham’s
The Jury
.

He remembered enjoying the story the first time he’d read it, but now he was a defendant.
I might as well prepare myself for the inevitable.

He had barely started reading when he heard a commotion from upstairs. It sounded like women yelling, and not in ecstasy, so he put down the book and hoped the witches weren’t killing each other again.

“I should mind my own business,” he said out loud.

He retrieved the book and tried to read. After he had scanned the same sentence three times, he realized it was no use. He had to intervene.

Upon opening his door, he was able to identify the voices. Yup. Morgaine and Gwyneth were at it again. Suddenly a new voice was added to the cacophony.
Joe?

“Look, it’s not her fault. I told her I like to listen,” he said.

“That doesn’t mean she should forward
all
the calls to your apartment. I didn’t receive a single phone call for two days. I thought all my customers deserted me. Instead I find out my dear cousin is stealing them!”

“It ain’t like that, Morgaine.”

“Oh, yeah? Then what
is
it like?”

“Like Joe said, he likes to listen to me handle the sex calls.”

Joe cleared his throat. “If you ladies will excuse me…” He retreated to his apartment and closed the door.

“So you just did it because you were being nice to him and didn’t think about how that would affect me?”

“Yeah. I’m not mean, just stupid sometimes.”

Morgaine covered her mouth as if trying not to laugh.

“I see you smirkin’.” Gwyneth advanced on her cousin, but Konrad inserted himself between them.

“Hold on, you two.”

Morgaine peered around him and continued to talk to Gwyneth as if there weren’t a six-foot-four-inch werewolf standing between them. “Why not just invite Joe to
our
apartment?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“On account o’ he gets horny from all the dirty talk comin’ out of my mouth. Then he just has to start—”

Konrad cleared his throat. “Not to change the subject or anything, but I thought Joe was moving out.”

“He is.”

“What?” Morgaine seemed shocked. “I thought you changed his mind.”

“Well, he changed it back.”

Konrad folded his arms. “It might be for the best. You two have been fighting ever since he moved in. You were the best of friends before that. Isn’t that true?” He looked from one witch to the other. “I never heard fights in the hallway before.”

At last Morgaine answered. “We’ve had our disagreements, but not like this.”

Gwyneth sniffed. “You liked me better when you were my teacher. Now I find I can do things on my own that you can’t, like writin’ dirty books.”

Morgaine lowered her voice. “Yeah, how will you do that, if Joe moves out and can’t correct your grammar for you?”

“I’ll think of somethin’. Maybe Konrad here can do it. You used to be a teacher, didn’t ya, Konrad?”

He held up both hands and took a step back. “I’m not getting involved in anything that might make one of you furious or my girlfriend insecure.”

“Aw.” Gwyneth tipped her head. “Y’all are a right stand-up guy, Konrad. I wish I had someone as dedicated to me as y’all are to Roz.”

“What about Joe?” Morgaine asked.

“That was just sex.”

“Ah-ha! You finally admitted you were just using him!”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

Dottie appeared at the stair landing and called, “What’s going on up there?”

Gwyneth leaned over the railing. “None of your bees—”

Konrad slapped a hand over Gwyneth’s mouth. “Just a little disagreement, Dottie. I’m sure the girls will work it out.”

“Well, do it quietly, for God’s sake. I can’t hear myself think.”

As soon as the door slammed, Morgaine snorted. “Dottie thinks?”

Konrad smiled. “I guess now that she’s a magazine writer, she needs to use her brain.”

Gwyneth’s eyes widened. “She’s a what?”

“A writer.”

Gwyneth practically flew down the stairs, not bad for a witch without a broom.

Morgaine groaned.

Konrad scratched his head. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told her that, since she was looking for someone to edit her books.”

“What’s that, Chad?” Morgaine cupped her ear. “He says Dottie will do it. He heard her offer to help Jason write his memoirs.”

Konrad stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry. I totally didn’t see that coming.”

“No worries.” Morgaine tipped her head. “Hang on, Chad has something else to say.” She chuckled. “He said that once Dottie reads Gwyneth’s erotic novels, she’ll probably jump Ralph’s bones, and maybe that’ll help her relax.”

“Hey, can you ask Chad something for me, since you’re talking with him right now?”

Morgaine paused a moment and laughed. “He said, ‘Sure.’ Go ahead and ask him yourself. He’s invisible, not deaf. I’ll just let you know what he says in response.”

“Oh, okay. Uh, Chad, would you allow another roommate to move in when Joe moves out? If it’s someone you know and like, one of us, I mean.”

She cocked her head and listened. “He wants to know why you want to move in with a ghost.”

“Dottie said half the rent is better than none, and since I only have half the rent and will be spending a lot of time at my girlfriend’s place anyway—”

Morgaine nodded. “Makes sense, but maybe Gwyneth could move over there for a while, if not permanently. Since we’re not getting along all that well, maybe putting a little distance between us would help. What do you think, Chad? Would you be willing to have Konrad or Gwyneth as a roommate?”

She paused and then said, “He’s thinking it over.”

She tipped her head back and forth as if ticking off the seconds it took to answer a question on
Jeopardy
. At last she had an answer. “He says he’s still not sure, but if he did allow it, he’s partial to Gwyneth.”

“Why?”

She listened another minute, crossed her arms, and sighed. “He said, not only can she talk to him, she’s wicked pretty and walks around in the buff.”

Konrad sighed. “Oh, well, it was worth a shot.”

Morgaine straightened, and her eyes lit up. “I don’t think you need to worry. You might be moving in with your girlfriend soon anyway.”

He balled his fists. “I won’t sponge off my girlfriend.”

“I’m not saying that.” She smiled, and there was this knowing look on her face.

“Do you know something I don’t? Did you get one of your psychic flashes?”

“Maaaaybe.”

He leaned back and studied her for a moment. “If anything I’d rather she move in with me. I can’t imagine finding room to house my whole library. Her place is smaller than mine.”

“It sounds like you’ve thought about it.”

Konrad chuckled. “Maaaaybe.”

***

Roz took her fighting stance. Hands on hips. Eyebrows knit. Torso leaning forward. She wasn’t going to let some client tell her how to do her job, even if he was her two-hundred-thirty-pound werewolf boyfriend.