Westward Promises (7 page)

“Cake!” Chase said with appreciation and a big smile.  “I haven’t had that treat for a long time.” 

Hannah smiled, but didn’t say anything.  She quickly served him a large piece and a smaller one for herself.   

“My mother was a mail-order bride,” Chase told her after eating a few bites of the cake.   

Hannah was surprised at Chase’s words, and curious.  “How did that happen?”   

“Well, Pa tells the story much better than I can.”  He took a few more bites and then continued.   

“Pa was living in the wilds of North Dakota working to save for his own land.  There weren’t any eligible women around so he decided to place an advertisement.  He said he was looking for a wife who could tolerate a man’s humor.  Ma’s was the first letter to arrive.  Pa had to travel 50 miles to pick it up from the nearest trading post.   

“Ma rode a stagecoach all the way from Pennsylvania.  Her parents had died.  Her older brother had recently married and she didn’t get along with his wife, so she really didn’t have anywhere to go.” 

“Your mom had to travel on the stagecoach?  I am grateful there are now trains for traveling,” Hannah commented. 

Yes.  I only had to wait a few days for your arrival.  Pa had to wait many weeks.” 

“Your mother was very brave to travel all that way alone.” 

“When Ma told her side of the story, she would say how she hadn’t even put her foot on the ground before a dozen bachelors swarmed around her asking for her hand in marriage.  She could’ve chosen any of those men.” 

“But she kept her promise to your pa.” 

Chase nodded.  “Ma wasn’t about to break her word to him.  She told me one time that she had fallen in love with him from his letters, long before she even met him.  They were married for almost 35 years.  What had started as a convenience marriage turned into one with love.” 

And that is what you’re hoping for?” Hannah asked as she set her fork down after she ate her last bite of cake.  She heard the distress in her voice and wished she could hide it.   

“It’s a nice goal to have don’t you think?”   

“Do you want to know how my parents met?” Hannah asked.   

“I thought you grew up in an orphanage.” 

“I did, but I know what my history is.” 

Chase leaned towards her with his arms on the table, as if encouraging her to tell him, to open up to him.   

“My father was a rich man who owned a large hotel in New York City.  He was married and had a family.  My mother was hired on as a new maid in his hotel.  One night my mother stayed late and my father attacked her, forcing himself upon her.  She became pregnant with me.  She was only 16.   

“There was a terrible scandal, and after I was born my mother dropped me off at the orphanage, relinquishing all rights to me.  As far as I know, she never came back to see how I was doing or what happened to me.” 

“This was all in your history at the orphanage?”   

“Yes.  Each child has a folder that is given to the family who wants to adopt them.  Most of the time, an orphan’s folder is small, but mine had many pages.  There were newspaper articles and a letter written by my mother explaining what happened.  I often got the idea that the director of the orphanage didn’t believe her, that she flirted with my father, and got what she asked for.  Because of this negative history, I was never adopted.  No one wanted a bastard child.” 

“I’m sorry, Hannah.  But you were adopted in Texas, weren’t you?”   

"Dr. Wilson only took me in.  He never officially adopted me.  He was good to me.  Most of my needs were met.  He never loved me, like a father loves a daughter.  I already told you what happened after he died.  I had nowhere to go.  That is why I became a mail-order bride to Jack.  I felt like I had no other choice.” 

“Your history makes no difference to me.” 

“Chase, I’m afraid you want too much from me.  You never mentioned that you wanted love in your letter.” 

“If I had, would you still have agreed to come?”   

“I don’t know.  Probably.  I had nowhere to go.” 

“Don’t you want to have love in our marriage someday?  After we get to know each other, when we are no longer strangers to each other?  Everyone wants a family and a place to belong.  Everyone wants someone to love them.  That’s the message I got from your letters.  It’s why I chose you.” 

“I came because of my baby and because you promised to provide for us.  That is why I’m here,” Hannah stated firmly.   

Chase opened his mouth as if to argue, but then closed it.  He looked hurt.  Hannah felt bad, but she also felt that she needed to be honest with him.   

“I promise I will work hard.  I promise I will be a good wife.  But I cannot promise love.”   

****

The story Hannah told about her parents saddened Chase.  He understood more about why she felt the way she did about love.  In her mind, love could not happen.  She was protecting herself from hurt and anguish.  They both sat around the table in silence for quite a while, each thinking their own thoughts.   

Chase finally spoke.  “I think it’s important that you know what I am hoping for in this marriage.  It is also important that I know what you are expecting.  I don’t expect you to love me all at once, Hannah.  We hardly know each other.  But I think life will get better for both of us.  I am still glad you came and agreed to be my wife.” 

Hannah looked down at the table.  “I don’t even know if I can love my unborn child,” she confessed.   

Chase felt sad at her words, but he didn’t really believe them.  He felt disappointed that she didn’t believe in love and that she didn’t even want to try to see if love could develop between them.  However, he also knew that it could happen, and he was going to keep trying.  He decided to drop the subject for now.   

“I found a little mare on the side of the road on my way home this evening.  If no one claims her, she will be yours.  You need to have a way to get to town and it will be easier with the buggy.” Chase remembered seeing marks on the horse, showing that she had been trained to pull a buggy or wagon.  “Have you ever driven a buggy before?”   

Hannah shook her head.  “There was never a need in Texas, and Jack wouldn’t let me learn.” 

“Well, I am going to insist on you learning.  I don’t want you isolated out here, and you need to be able to get to town to buy food and other things we might need.” 

I suspect the mare has been abused.  Every little thing scares her and she has a lot of scars.  I doubt anyone will claim her.  Hopefully with love and attention she’ll do well for you.  She is gentle.” 

“How will I learn?  Will Lucy teach me to drive a buggy?”   

Chase felt a deep disappointment that it didn’t even occur to her that he would be the one to teach her.   

“No, I will.  It’s easy to learn.” He looked straight at her.  He felt disappointed and hurt, although he was careful not to let it show in his voice.  He knew she got the message when she looked at him and then looked away, tears filling her eyes, which she blinked back quickly.   

The harsh wind woke Hannah.  It blew like a hurricane against the house as if trying to get in.  She poked her head out of the covers and felt the icy air against her face.  She wondered what time it was.  In the living room a clock chimed faintly, four dongs.  It was 4:00 in the morning.  She started to feel her usual morning queasiness and carefully rolled to her side.  She stared at the sleeping man beside her.   

She did not understand Chase.  He was unlike any man she’d ever known.  She could make out his high forehead and tousled dark hair.  He had a power that clung to him even in sleep. 

Why hadn’t some woman claimed him?  She had a hard time believing that no woman that had lived around here wanted him, unless there was something he was hiding, a part of him she hadn’t seen yet.   

Last night at the kitchen table, she had a glimpse of his anger, but he kept it under control.  After their conversation, he had not started drinking whiskey or forced himself on her.  He simply opened the window seat in the living room, picked out a book that looked well used, and started to read.  He hadn’t said anything when she picked up some mending and sat on the far end of the cushion knowing he was disappointed in her.  She ended up going to bed early.   

She knew that Chase would be getting up soon, so she tossed back the covers and sat up slowly, hoping her stomach would settle.  Very carefully, so she wouldn’t wake up Chase, she pulled on her old robe and a pair of thin slippers and left the dark room.   

She shivered all the way to the kitchen.  She quickly unearthed the ashes that had been banked the night before and began to add handfuls of kindling to start the fire.   

“What in the world are you doing?”  A loud voiced startled her and she dropped some wood onto the floor.  She glanced up at the man towering above with anger on his face.   

“I’m going to fix coffee,” she stuttered.   

“But it’s freezing in here.  What are you thinking?”   

“I’m sure you would like a cup of coffee before you go out and do the barn chores.  If you don’t want coffee I can make tea.” 

“Hannah, lighting the wood stove is my job.  I don’t want you doing my work.  Go back to bed until it’s warm.” 

“I just thought it would help you make your morning go easier.” She felt foolish.  She needed to do all that she could for him to make up for the fact that she could never love him.  If he wouldn’t accept her help, what could she do?   

Chase quickly pushed her aside and took over the chore of starting the fire.  As soon as it was flaming brightly, he closed the wood door and turned to her.  "From now on, you stay in bed until the house is warm.” His tone told her he would not accept any argument.   

Hannah started to nod her head reluctantly when suddenly she felt her stomach cramp and she covered her mouth.  She raced into the bedroom and slumped over the bucket.     

****

I don’t know what to do about her,” Chase confessed to Betsy as he milked her.  “Can you give me any advice?  You’re a female.” 

If the cow had any hints to share, she was keeping quiet.  She only flicked her tail and chewed her cud.   

“Well, I figured you would stay silent on the subject,” Chase joked as he stripped her udder.   

Chase quickly finished his barn chores, making sure Apache and the mare had clean straw and the food that they needed.  The mare seemed a little calmer and she followed all of his movements with her brown eyes.   

“I can’t believe Hannah felt she needed to get up so early just to make me coffee,” he confessed to the mare.   

He patted Apache on his neck.  “Enjoying your morning grain?  I think you are set for the morning.  Food, comfortable stall, water.  I’ll come by later to hitch you up for church.” 

Chase glanced at the mare and saw that she had backed herself into the corner of her stall, as if she wanted to be as far from him as she could.   

The mare reminded him of Hannah.   

He closed the barn door and carried the full bucket of milk to the house.  He could see Hannah’s outline through the faded kitchen curtains.  He would almost bet money that she was making breakfast, even though when he had left her earlier, she felt very ill.   

He just didn’t know how to fix things.  For the moment, he decided to let it go.  He reached the door and stomped the snow off his boots.  The warmth of the kitchen welcomed him as he hung up his coat and removed his boots.   

He glanced at Hannah who still looked very pale.  She was at the stove stirring something.  When she noticed him, she gave him a small smile.  He remembered the words that she had said the night before.  “I will work hard.  I will keep my promise to be a good wife.” It mattered to her that she fulfilled her promise, the best she knew how.   

He was starting to understand her a little better.  He had been alone too long, living as a bachelor too long.  He was starting to see that it wasn’t easy to learn another’s point of view of life.   

He looked at the table, noticing all she had done to please him.  The dishes were placed neatly before each chair.  She had carefully folded the napkins at each plate.  A cup of steaming coffee had been set at his place.  There was a platter of pancakes, eggs, and bacon in the middle of the table, along with some biscuits.   

He choked back the words that he wanted to say, that he didn’t require her to work too hard.  He knew he needed to say something else.  He set the pail of milk on the counter and then looked at her.   

“You have set a very fine table.  I am excited to eat what you have prepared.” 

He knew he had said the right thing when her face lit up, as if he had given her the sun, moon and stars.   

“Go ahead and eat while the food is hot.” 

They both took their places and Chase again offered a short blessing.   

“You look like you feel better than you did yesterday,” Chase commented as he started to fill his plate.   

“Lucy gave me some tea that I tried this morning and it made a great difference.  My stomach is much calmer this morning.” 

“You don’t need to worry about cooking for lunch or dinner.” He broke apart a steamy buttery biscuit and added some jam.  He took a large bite and nearly groaned.  One thing he could give her, she sure could cook.  Neither of them were ever going to starve.   

“Why not?” Hannah asked as she took a sip of her tea. 

“It’s Sunday.  I am closed for business.  We will go to church, and then we have been invited over to my Pa’s house for dinner.  Lucy has been singing your praises and the entire family wants to meet you.” 

“I guess it is good I was planning on wearing my new green dress today.”  

****

Hannah had mixed feelings about the plans for the day.  It wasn’t that she disliked going to church.  She just hadn’t had much experience with it and it seemed like a useless activity to her.  She felt that most people who went to church, did it out of duty or obligation to society.  She wasn’t even sure she believed in a God.  If there was one, He hadn’t helped her much in her life so far, in her opinion.   

And then there was the dinner with Chase’s family.  She knew that if all of Chase’s family showed up, there would be a large group of them.  She had never felt comfortable being around a lot of people.  That was when the judging and gossiping began.  Were they really anxious to meet her, or was Chase just saying that in order to get her to want to come?   

Of course, she would go to church and to his Pa’s for dinner.  She had promised she would do her best to be a good wife.  If going to these types of events pleased him, maybe he wouldn’t keep expecting love from her.   

Hannah finished the final touches to her hair as she stood in front of the mirror in their bedroom.  She set her brush down as Chase leaned against the doorway.   

“You look very nice, Hannah.” 

“Thank you,” Hannah told him with a small smile.  Of course, he would want her to look her best.  She was glad she decided to go ahead and accept the new clothes he had bought her.  Without him knowing, she stored her faded dress, shoes and coat in the bag she had brought with her and shoved it under the bed.  If something happened and she needed to leave, she still would have her old clothes, and she wouldn’t need to take what Chase had given her.   

Hannah turned away from the mirror and took a good look at her husband as he leaned against the doorway, watching her.  Her heart skipped a beat as he looked at her intently, a sensation that was foreign to her.  He had combed his hair and it was brushed back away from his face.  He had on a red plaid shirt and what looked like new pants.  He had polished his cowboy boots and a blue scarf was tied around his neck.   

“I’m ready,” Hannah told him, trying to keep her voice steady.  “We can go if you want to leave now.” 

“I have Apache hitched to the buggy.  I want to make sure we have enough blankets.  I don’t want you to get cold in your condition.” 

Chase quickly banked the fire while Hannah gathered a covered basket in her arms.   

As they stepped out doors, Hannah commented, “I can see the sun and very few clouds.  It looks like the storm finally blew over.  I should be warm enough.” 

“Except for the wind,” Chase grinned as he helped her into the buggy.  He tucked a blanket around her legs and then picked up the reins and hopped in the other side.   

He noticed the covered basket at Hannah’s feet.  “What’s in there?”   

"Left-over biscuits from breakfast.” 

“You didn’t need to bring anything.” 

“I wanted to.  I want to contribute something to the dinner.” 

When they arrived at the small church, Chase guided the buggy next to a few others along a fence.  He helped her out and led her towards the church.   

“Hello, Chase,” Hannah heard someone call and Chase waved his arm in welcome.  She noticed a familiar figure and as they walked closer, she saw Anna standing next to a large man.   

“Hannah,” Anna said in welcome.  “I had heard you had come and had married Chase.  It is good to see you.” Anna gave Hannah a hug, which surprised her.  She had not been good friends with Anna and her friends, but they had always been nice to her, and it was good to see a familiar face.   

Very quickly, the rest of Anna’s family had gathered around Hannah and Chase.  She learned that Anna and her husband, Alex, had two children, and it looked as though she was expecting her third.  Serena and Katrina greeted and welcomed her as Anna had and introduced their husbands.  Serena and Paul had one child.   Katrina and Luke had three children standing next to them.  One of them was an older girl, along with a toddler, and Katrina was holding a baby in her arms.   

“You will have to come out and visit out at our ranch when it gets warmer,” Serena invited her.  “Or maybe we can stop by the next time we come to town during the week.” 

“We rarely come to town during the winter because of the snow.  We just had to come today for church even though there is still some snow on the ground,” Katrina explained.  “And I am glad we did or we would have missed seeing you.” 

“I can tell you have made Chase very happy,” Anna commented with a smile.  “You will have to tell us how you met.” 

Chase slipped an arm around Hannah.  “We’d better go inside for the service.  I will bring her out to your ranch as soon as it has dried out a bit.” 

The group moved as one towards the church and Hannah was glad Chase had interrupted them.  As pleased as she was to see familiar faces, and she could see how happy Anna, Serena, and Katrina were with their husbands and children, she felt depressed that she wasn’t able to love Chase and make him happy.