What a Reckless Rogue Needs (14 page)

“What happened?” he said.

“Charlotte’s brother ushered us downstairs, but by then the gossip was flying. My face was as hot as fire, but I walked down those stairs and through the foyer with my head held high, even though I saw others staring. I thought they would support me, because he had been unfaithful. I was naïve to believe it.

“My heart hammered, and I kept telling Charlotte I was sorry for ever involving her. After her brother took me home, I was still shaking as I walked into the house. My parents had not returned from the opera. I decided to wait until morning to confess the sorry story, but I did not sleep at all that night.

“You can imagine my parents’ horrified reaction upon hearing what had occurred. My father’s face grew mottled and my mother was pale. When I told them I would cry off, my mother rushed out of the drawing room. I was worried and followed her. She’d gotten sick. The consequences had not yet dawned on me. I was not thinking clearly or I would have realized that breaking an engagement would result in gossip, but I didn’t realize it would get far worse.”

“You were still in shock,” Colin said.

“My father sent round a message to Brentmoor, demanding he present himself posthaste. When Brentmoor arrived, he said it was all a misunderstanding and that he sought relief elsewhere to protect my feminine sensibilities before the marriage.”

“The devil,” Colin said.

“An apt description of him. At that point, my shock had worn off. When I told him that we were no longer affianced, his face paled. No doubt he’d counted on my fortune. After he departed, I was relieved, but it did not last. Charlotte called on me three days later. After my mother left the room, Charlotte reluctantly divulged the horrible news her brother had revealed. Brentmoor claimed he’d…”

“What did he claim?”

“He said he had l-lain with me many times.”

“He should be shot,” Colin said. “Why did I never hear a word about it?”

“Most likely no one would have repeated it to you because of our family connections. I never told my parents about the slur. Mama was a ball of nerves, and Papa wouldn’t even leave his study.”

“Why would anyone believe Brentmoor?”

“We had been affianced for a fortnight, and others had seen him plastered against me in the unlit portion of the gardens.”

Colin scowled. “He planned it.”

“Probably. I will never know for certain. The repercussions were awful. My father refused to see anyone.”

“He blamed himself,” Colin said.

“My mother’s two closest friends called four days later to warn her about the gossip. It was bad. My mother’s friends advised taking me to the Continent. It did no good. My reputation followed me to Paris, though my mother still has no idea.”

Colin frowned. “What do you mean?”

“A number of Frenchmen made me scandalous offers.”

He bounded off the sofa and fisted his hands. She could hear him breathing like a racehorse. “Colin, it is in the past. Nothing can be changed.”

“I will call him out.”

“If you did, it would only make matters worse because it would renew the scandal.”

“He deserves to be horse whipped.”

“The part that keeps me awake at night is what I’ve done to my family.”

“You are innocent,” he said.

“You don’t understand. The scandal will follow Penny. She is the innocent in all of this, and she will suffer by association.” Her face crumpled. “My sweet little sister m-may never have a come-out because of me.”

He strode back to her and pulled out a handkerchief. “You did nothing wrong.”

She blotted her eyes. “My quick temper landed me in trouble. Had I maintained my composure that night, had I walked away as a lady ought, had I listened to Charlotte, I would have escaped the scandal. I could have survived a broken engagement. My mother’s friends would have championed me. Others might have questioned my virtue, but I could have overcome it if I had not played into Lady Cunningham’s scheme. I am sure she was behind it.”

“Angeline, I cannot believe there is no way to resolve this.”

She huffed. “There is. Marriage to a very wealthy and titled gentleman, but no man with sense wants a woman with a ruined past. He would have to be desperate.”

Colin stared at her.

The backs of her hands prickled at his intense expression. “What are you thinking?” she asked.

“As it happens, I am desperate.”

S
he leaped off the sofa and nearly bumped into him. “Have you lost your wits?”

“Hush and listen. It’s the perfect solution.”

“No, it is insane.” She’d thought he had better sense, but apparently she’d been mistaken.

“Angeline, we would both benefit.”

He was outrageous. “I’m not marrying you so you can claim Sommerall.”

“You said if you married a wealthy and titled gentleman, all of your troubles would disappear. I am the Earl of Ravenshire. Granted it’s a courtesy title, but it’s hardly objectionable.”

“Are you feverish?”

He grinned. “No, but come a bit closer. I’m sure my temperature will rise.”

She wasn’t taking the bait. “You are proposing that we marry so that you can keep the property and I can repair my tattered reputation. That is the most bizarre reason I have ever heard for marrying.”

“Is it? My father made a marriage of convenience with Margaret, and they seem to rub along well enough.”

Damn him. How could she object to that? “We are incompatible,” she said.

“We’ve done fairly well working at Sommerall, which, by the way, you could renovate to your heart’s content. Although we might want to temporarily move into Deerfield to avoid paint fumes. It’s a big house, so we wouldn’t be in anybody’s way.”

She sank onto the sofa and massaged her temples. The marquess and Margaret had found love after marrying for convenience, but it did not mean that it would happen for Colin and her. In truth, it felt very much like a business matter.

But as he’d pointed out, all aristocratic marriages were based at least partly on practical monetary considerations. Marrying for love had become popular, but it did not negate the necessary contracts.

He joined her on the sofa. “I forgot to mention I have money from investments in shipping, so that should reassure you. No need to fear we’ll be beggared anytime soon.”

“I cannot decide if you’re practical or a lunatic. Possibly both.”

“I am serious about the marriage. Maybe this happened because it was meant to be.”

No, it happened because we’re both desperate.

“You may take your time to make a decision. I have six weeks to find a bride, but you will be here for only three more weeks. I understand that it is a momentous decision.”

She thought about what she’d done to her family and her fears that Penny would never have a come-out. She thought about her father’s melancholy and the day her mother had gotten violently ill upon learning Angeline meant to cry off. Most of all, she thought about Penny’s tears that day she and Mama had left for their journey to Paris.

She remembered thinking that she would do anything to make the scandal go away.

“I can practically see the cogs and wheels churning in your brain. What is on your mind?” he said.

I owe it to my family to accept your proposal.

She turned to him. “If we are to wed, we should discuss our expectations of marriage.”

“What specifically do you mean?”

“Is it to be a true marriage or one in name only? I know you need an heir, but…”

“But what?”

He sounded angry. “I was affianced to a rake, and he hurt me.”

Colin stood and walked over to the window. Then he spun around. “You compare me to that scoundrel?”

“I am not comparing you to him, but I have a right to know what to expect and so do you. It may be common for spouses in the ton to enter into liaisons, but I do not think I could bear another betrayal.”

“You assume that I will be unfaithful.”

“No, I assume nothing. I want to know if you will honor the marriage vows.”

“I’m not planning to betray you,” he said.

“An interesting answer,” she said.

“I will honor the vows, but that begs the question, Will you be my wife in truth or will you shut the boudoir door to me?”

She realized he was angry, because he’d felt she was accusing him. “Colin, I would never do such a thing. It would only push you to take lovers. While we are on the subject, I know there are women in the ton who betray their husbands, but I would never do that to you. I could never be so cruel.”

He put his hands on his hips. “How did something so simple become so complicated?”

“If it were easy, all marriages would be made up of hearts and flowers every day,” she said.

“I really hope you don’t expect flowers daily.”

She laughed. “No, but you might find yourself rewarded for a posy now and then.”

He clutched his chest. “My kingdom for a flower.”

“Do not be ridiculous.”

“There you go again.” He paused and said, “Why am I standing across the room when there is a beautiful woman waiting for me on the sofa?”

When he sat next to her, he took her hand. “Do you find the idea of marriage to me abhorrent?”

“Not on principle.” She was terrified of making another mistake. Part of her wanted to believe that underneath his rakehell exterior lay a man of honor. From all she’d heard, he’d earned his notorious reputation. She wanted to believe that he would give up his raking and settle down. What she needed was a surety and knew it was impossible. “It occurs to me that while we have known one another all our lives, we don’t really
know
each other,” she said.

“I believe that is probably common,” he said. “Especially with arranged marriages.”

“When you first brought up the subject of marriage, I felt obliged to say yes immediately. I know my parents would be grateful and relieved. Penny would most likely be able to have her come-out, and I could attend. She wants me to be there with all of her heart, and I yearn to watch my little sister dance at a ball for the first time. It is true the starchiest ladies of the ton will never forget. I do not care a snap for them, but I am concerned about the consequences for you.”

“You need not worry about me.”

“Gentlemen gossip,” she said.

He shrugged. “You are trying to make a point, are you not?”

“If others know a man has been cuckolded, is he the object of derision?”

“Yes, if it’s blatant. What does that have to do with us?”

“It is quite possible that others will speak disdainfully of your marriage to me.”

“If any man dared, I’d slap a glove in his face,” he gritted out.

“How many times will you have to defend me?” she said.

“Are you trying to persuade me
not
to marry you? It seems you are looking for reasons to discourage me. Believe me, no man will ever question your honor or mine if he expects to live.”

“Colin, I worry because I have a notorious reputation. Others will gossip about me.”

“They would never dare insult my wife,” he said vehemently.

“Not in your presence,” she said.

“Damn it, Angeline. You are pushing me away.”

She didn’t want to say it, but she knew it was necessary. “Colin, men said things to me when I was in Paris. Awful things. I am not exaggerating about my reputation. If we do not discuss it now, it may come between us.” She feared it would anyway.

“No man will come between us unless he has a death wish. Now, will you allow me to make a proper proposal of marriage to you?”

Panic set in and her lungs constricted. She’d made a bad decision once before. “There is no rush. We have three weeks remaining until the house party ends. I think we should use that time to learn more about each other. Meanwhile, we can contact the architect I mentioned to you earlier. I’m sure he would make the journey in a prompt manner.” It was so much easier to focus on practical matters.

“There is a problem,” he said. “I can’t very well hire a man and keep the engagement a secret. My father would question why I was spending money but making no effort whatsoever to hunt for a wife.”

She sighed. “I so had my heart set on it.”

“I’d rather hoped it would be me that made your heart thump, but perhaps I’d better use the three weeks to woo you.” He set his arm around her shoulders.

She inhaled his scent and everything inside of her wanted to be closer to him, but she wasn’t ready to go farther. “Did I give you leave to be familiar?”

“Not in so many words, but your dreamy sighs as you looked upon my fair countenance encouraged me.”

She laughed. “You are being ridiculous again.”

“I’m only trying to be romantic, but it seems my almost-fiancée is not.”

She wondered if his witty remarks hid his own misgivings about the marriage. When she turned to him, he cupped her cheek. “So soft.”

He had the sort of face that made women stop and stare. His chiseled square jaw, cleft chin, and straight nose were both beautiful and masculine at the same time. There was perfect symmetry to his face, but it was his eyes that drew her.

He angled his head and kissed her so gently, she sighed afterward. Whatever fears she might have had seemed to float away.

Then he kissed her again, and this time, he kissed her like a starved man. He licked her lips and when she opened for him, he slid his tongue inside and pulled her closer. She was powerless to deny him; no, she didn’t want to deny him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and wanted to be closer to him. The scent of him wrapped around her, a seductive potion that made her forget all of her misgivings.

His breathing was harsh and labored as he nuzzled her neck. When he cupped her breast, she drew in a ragged breath at the pleasurable sensations. Her nipples ached as he palmed her through the thin muslin of her bodice.

He fumbled at the back of her gown, and she felt cool air on her back. When he pushed her sleeves down her arms, she thought of denying him. He circled his thumbs around her nipples, and she bit her lip to keep from begging him not to stop. She was neither afraid nor disgusted the way she’d been when Brentmoor tried to fondle her. She’d always pushed him away, and now she was glad that she’d never let him, because he’d never cared about her.

Thoughts of her former fiancé fled as Colin lowered his head and circled his tongue around her nipple. She clutched the back of his head, her fingers threading through his thick, curly hair. When he suckled her, her head fell back, and she wanted more of him.

“I knew you would be beautiful, but you have surpassed my every expectation.”

She felt as if she’d drunk too much champagne. The desire still lingered, making her a bit lethargic, but he pulled her sleeves up and hooked the back of her gown. She was aware of dampness between her thighs and a yearning for more of the pleasurable sensations he’d excited in her.

He smiled a little as he gazed at her. “I find myself amazed and humbled by your response. Whatever else may come, I think in this, we will be very compatible.”

His words sounded too good to be true. Yet she was torn between wanting to believe him and her knowledge that he desperately needed a wife in order to keep Sommerall. Worse, she knew that she would never have even considered marrying him if she weren’t so worried about her sister’s come-out.

God in heaven, how could she marry a man simply to ensure her sister got her heart’s desire? But how could she not do everything in her power to restore her honor and that of her family? She had brought scandal upon them, and she owed it to them to do whatever she could to restore her family’s honor.

But she was afraid, more afraid than of being an independent spinster. At least that way she would never have to worry about exposing herself to society or finding herself awake in a cold, deserted bed while her husband found comfort elsewhere after having secured the property he wanted. There was no question that if she accepted, this would be a marriage of convenience, and Angeline knew it would be foolhardy to hope that love and affection would follow the way it had for Lord Chadwick and Margaret. Their marriage may have started as a convenience, but they were one of the rare, lucky couples who had fallen in love.

Angeline couldn’t allow herself to even consider the possibility that tender feelings might develop in this marriage. She had to be pragmatic, and that meant accepting an offer of marriage that she was far from confident about, but it wasn’t as if she had better choices. That thought alone made her feel horrible, because every instinct inside of her shouted that she was selling herself for a season in London for her sister.

God help her, she would do anything, even marry, to make sure her sister had a fairy-tale come-out ball.

When footsteps sounded, Angeline straightened her neckline and squared her shoulders. Agnes appeared at the door. “My lady, the kitchen hearth is sound. I took the liberty of scouring the pots and pans with sand.” The scullery maid lowered her eyes. “John awaits on the drive.”

“Thank you, Agnes,” Colin said. “Tell John we will be only a few minutes.”

“Yes, your lordship.” She bobbed a curtsy and disappeared.

“Angeline, is all well with you?”

She thought he must be worried about what had transpired. “Yes, I’m well and ready to depart.” The heady sensations of his kisses and touches had worn off quickly as her worries had taken over. He’d offered marriage, the one thing she’d known could reverse all of the bad things that had happened. At first, it had seemed like a dream, but it was not. Quite possibly, it could end in a nightmare for her.

He’d agreed to grant her more time to give her answer when the house party ended. She wondered if he was as reluctant as she was about this marriage. At least there was no question about their motives for marrying. They both knew exactly why they were doing this. But could they build a lifetime on a sham marriage?

She would reconcile herself to the marriage, make the best of it, and be grateful. Because Providence had provided her with a chance to redeem herself—a gift to her family.

They would marry, and she would be able to attend her sister’s debut. There would still be whispers, but once she was married to Colin, no one would dare openly cut her. The combined strength of both their families would help as well.

Could it really be that easy? She hoped with all of her heart that it would, but only time would tell.

Yet her thoughts were of her family, not of him. She worried that he’d made a decision based on hearing her sad tale, but he would benefit as well. God willing, he would not regret his decision. There were three weeks left for both of them to figure out if they could forge a life together, one that could bring them happiness for a lifetime.